//------------------------------// // Part 30: Partners in Crime // Story: Once a Time Lord... Well, actually still that, but now a Pony as well... // by The Bricklayer //------------------------------// Equus, Canterlot: “I’m growing… concerned with Auntie, really…” Blueblood said over lunch towards Fancy Pants one afternoon. “I’m beginning to think the Master has her in his thralls really.” the Prince muttered to himself, tossing a glance towards the neighborhood where he knew the Master was being held under strict armed guard now. Personally, Blueblood was of the mind they should have gone with this solution, to begin with, only skipping the fancy house and going right to the dungeons. Or banished him to the sun as Luna ‘suggested’. That would have worked just as well. Now Blueblood got it, he got it. He knew Celestia, Faust bless her soul, was just trying to be forgiving and try to uphold the standards of what her beau would want her to do. He certainly understood the Master was the Doctor’s foalhood friend so he could sympathize with that. But there came a point in time when forgiveness went right out the window. The Master was a clear and present danger to society, and if the Doctor was correct he always had been. “...What makes you so worried about this?” Fancy asked. “Look, I get the Master unnerves you… well, unnerves all of us really but…” “Take a few days back. This is what I happened to overhear and walk in on…” ““Ah, but you remember your actions do you not? Burning that sweet, sweet creature to a crisp, making an example out of her! You relishing in your own power, and lust for revenge against the world that took your sister from you! You and your sister, as much as you like to deny it, you’re a lot more alike than you think!” the Master remarked in a snide, mocking tone. Blueblood had just walked into the house. Now, common sense told him to charge in with horn alight with magic and take the madman down, but on the other hoof, his aunt could handle herself and it would probably be best to see where this went. So Blueblood opted to wait and listen. Pressing his ears up against the wall, he listened to the ongoing conversation. He overheard the distinctive tone of magic crackling in the air, and then a bolt being fired. A loud thud, and a shout of pain. Blueblood smirked. His Auntie, despite all reports to the contrary, was hardly a soft mare to the point of letting anyone walk all over. She had been taught by the great Starswirl the Bearded for a reason, and when she deemed it necessary to use force, it showed. Never judge a book by it’s cover, that was the old saying. Quite a few ponies just looked at Blueblood and wrote him off as the generic Canterlot snob. And the same was true of sorts with his auntie, looking at her and her history and thinking she just let conquerors fester. But neither was the truth really. Both, when it came down to it could be capable ponies in society. Equestria had survived 1000 years without Luna for a reason, and the nobles had been managed somehow. Both ponies had their strengths. “...I know you’ve still got some of Daybreaker in you waiting to be let out. All it just takes? One bad day!” the Master laughed. Blueblood raised an eyebrow. Daybreaker? That was a new one.  Some sort of code word or maybe even a… The Prince shuddered at the thought. Yeah, no. He did not need that image burrowed into his skull. Whatever it meant, it seemed to terrify Celestia to the point she was whispering frantically under her breath. the Master ranted on for a little while longer before Blueblood had finally had enough. “You know, you really talk too much,” Blueblood said as he walked into the room, zapping the Master’s mouth shut with a beam of arctic-blue magic. “Maybe this house is too nice for you, maybe I should just toss you in a dungeon!” He walked over to his aunt and helped her up. “You alright Auntie?” he asked softly after a time looking towards the Master and giving him a withering glare. It didn’t really phase the Master but Blueblood couldn’t be bothered to care at that moment. He’d made his point. “...Faust, I… I just don’t know about Auntie…” Blueblood muttered with Fancy having paid a listening ear and nodding at the appropriate moments. “On one hoof, I can see where she’s coming from, but on the other...?” “Unfortunately the concern is that leaving him under House Arrest isn’t much of a punishment, at least not for the severity of the crimes he’s accused of,” Fancy Pants said. “I know outright execution is out of the question for many reasons, but we have to consider alternatives.” “...Tell me about it,” Blueblood muttered rubbing his now scraggly chin with a hoof. “You know why I’m drinking coffee now, right? I’ve been up at nights just trying to figure out what to do with this bastard.” he continued taking another swig of his beverage. “Unfortunately the Moon isn’t much of an option either with the Doctor,” Fancy Pants added as he took a drink. Blueblood could only guess at how much of a tab the two would run up between them. “There has to be another option really. The fact of the matter is with this kind of crime, house arrest is basically a slap on the hoof.” “Who said anything about the moon? I was thinking a shot right into the sun really…” Blueblood commented and Fancy stared at him. “...What, don’t give me that look. Surely you must have been thinking about it. Luna certainly is at least.” Blueblood chuckled to himself. Always the more battle-hungry of the two, really. Suppose it came with being the wilder younger sibling with more tempestuous temperament. “And how do you suggest we do that without Celestia’s help? Kick him there?” Fancy Pants suggested. “...I could probably find a way. Maybe that Applejack mare could help. Nice good hips…” Blueblood mused. In hindsight, he probably should have phrased that better given the later teasing Fancy would give him over possibly having a crush on the farm mare. Which was certainly anything but the truth, Blueblood thought with a small blush. “Auntie certainly wouldn’t approve, but we’d certainly be rid of the Master.” “And neither would the Doctor, which from what you tell me makes things… difficult,” Fancy replied. He looked thoughtful for a moment. “We could put him in Tartarus. It’s hard to break out of and the Doctor could visit if he wants.” “Ah yes, but there is a problem with that. It would certainly satisfy everybody involved, but…” Blueblood trailed off. “But there is an issue.” “What’s that?” “The Master’s… charismatic. Now remind me, how many dangerous criminals have been tossed into Tartarus over the years?” Blueblood asked. “Just how many?” Comprehension dawned on Fancy’s face. “Exactly,” Blueblood continued. “You see the issue here.” “Yes… that would be a problem,” Fancy agreed. “So what should we do?” “That is the issue, isn’t it?” Blueblood sighed after taking a deep breath. “Quite honestly, there’s no easy solution here. Either they aren’t something the Doctor would approve of, or they’re flawed just enough to be considered folly.” he groaned rubbing his temples with a hoof. Days like this made him wonder why he swore off drinking. “Excusez-moi, si je peux buter dans?” Fleur asked as she walked over. “If I may question, why do you… say, just this once hang the Doctor’s wishes as they call it? Do what’s best for Equestria and your auntie, Blueblood? From what I can gather, this Master is a danger towards everypony. Even Celestia should realize this.” Blueblood tried to suppress a groan. He wasn’t exactly a fan truth be told of letting Fleur in on this whole deal, but then again she had push and pull in Canterlot being in the position she was in. The mare was already respected a great deal. Plus, she was Fancy’s wife. And what husband could be expected to keep secrets from their wife? Honestly, he would have been more surprised if Fleur didn’t learn about this ongoing debate sooner than she already had. “She should, and does to a degree” Fancy agreed. “But convincing her to properly deal with him is the problem.” “Yes, quite. It is a conundrum, non?” Fleur agreed in kind. “Yes, the Princesse is a very good ruler, but I do wonder if she is too hung up on the Doctor at the moment. Yes, they make a cute couple, -at least I imagine they would- but this does have its downfalls.” “...Tell me about it,” Blueblood muttered. “Look, I understand Celestia’s viewpoint. If we suddenly started executing ponies, -especially those who are supposed to be the Doctor’s friend- we’d have a public outcry. Execution… it just isn’t done. But on the other hoof…” “We have a massive problem with the Master,” Fleur admitted. “He’s too dangerous to just toss in a dungeon and be forgotten about.” “Agreed, so what do we do with him?” Fancy asked thoughtfully. “It feels like we’re missing an obvious solution here.” “...I have a question,” Fleur asked. “Does the Doctor even know the Master’s being kept on House Arrest? C'est une question qui mérite d'être posée vraiment…” she muttered. “She’s got a point,” Blueblood agreed, thankful for those Prench lessons his tutor had given him growing up. “I mean, for all the Doctor knows, we just chucked his old friend in a dungeon or the like. He probably assumed we’d have good judgment in dealing with him. Actually, an amendation to that. He assumed Celestia would have good judgment in dealing with him. I can’t imagine he’ll be happy when he finds out his beau is being a fool.” Blueblood sighed once more. Bless his auntie’s heart for being an idealist -Goddess knows the world certainly needed more of them- but she could be so blind at times. He honestly loved her, but his aunt could be so foolish at times. At least when it came to the Doctor. But then again, that Daybreaker comment the Master had made seemed to have her rattled. He didn’t exactly know what Daybreaker meant, but he could probably manage up a good guess. If Luna could have ‘one bad day’, who’s to say his auntie didn’t have the potential to completely lose it? Now, there were no recorded records of this actually happening as far as he knew, but that didn’t mean it hadn’t and Celestia hadn’t found a way to bury this fact. Or maybe the Master was hinting at it having the possibility of it happening it and had scared Celestia too much. Maybe she was actually afraid of the possibility of one simple thing sending her over the edge. Maybe that’s why she wasn’t taking the proper action against the Master. Maybe she was afraid if she took down one maniac, she wouldn’t be able to stop and then just deal with minor criminals in the same way. “Yes, this is exactly why I’m regretting my choice not to drink…” Blueblood thought. “Days like this, with issues like this.” “There’s just no obvious win-win situation here, is there?” Fancy mused to himself and took another sip of his drink. Of course, unknownst to anyone was a figure watching them. Largely white, with a pink mane. Now, obviously, of course, you’d think ponies would figure out who this was in an instance. But that was just the thing. It was the classic Clark Kent syndrome. Nobody would ever think Celestia would pick such an obvious glamour for her disguise. And she had used this fact to listen in between the three unnoticed. And she was sighing to herself at how right they all were in their own ways. “I have been letting the question ‘What would the Doctor do?’ blind me to the obvious. Daybreaker or no Daybreaker, I have an entire Kingdom to protect. It's tiime I get started on that.” Earth: London The Adipose group was really one of those little oddities, Jack had to muse to himself. It was like one day they just popped up out of nowhere. It was almost as if someone grew the tower block they called home -which, given past experiences wasn’t that far-fetched really- and then just took up residence. It was this that put them on Torchwood’s radar, them springing up so quickly. He’d planned to launch a little investigation into what they were doing at some point. Granted, he never had exactly planned on doing it with a little horse that used to be the Doctor. Jack was still getting used to this little factoid, really. Honestly, he wouldn’t be sure if he ever would get used to it. It was like the Doctor suddenly regenerating into a woman. Life just didn’t prepare you for things like this. “So, how're things going in there?” Twilight asked. Clearly, her just waltzing into the main lobby would be folly. For so many reasons. So, here she was in the back of some nondescript van listening in with a packet of chips in hoof. She would now always pity those poor Royal Guards that were always put on a stakeout for one reason or another, considering she was now in exactly that same sort of position. This whole scenario… Well, it wasn’t exactly something she’d put on her day planner to be sure. She turned towards Rainbow, who didn’t exactly look thrilled about being tossed to the sidelines, to say the least. This didn’t surprise anyone who knew Rainbow in the slightest. The mare preferred to be front and center, possibly beating the villain of the day into a bloody pulp on the floor. But quite honestly, even a perception filter wouldn’t hide a rainbow-maned pegasus to the humans. Or a lavender unicorn. Or an earth pony who suddenly started talking and asking all sorts of questions and Rainbow knew this. So clearly, a more practical solution was needed. And that solution was Ianto posing as a member of the Health and Safety board apparently while everyone else just sat and listened. “Oh, relax. Anything Ianto hears, we hear. He’s all wired up,” Jack smiled cheekily. “...Trust me, I checked.” It didn’t take a genius to figure out what exactly the man meant by that, Twilight thought with a small blush creeping up her features. Gwen took notice of this and turned to her. “...Oh, you think this is bad?” she whispered over a currently ongoing presentation about how the fat just walked away or something like that. “You should have been here when Tosh walked in on them having sex on Jack’s desk.” “Oh, oh hold up!” Jack remarked possibly trying to move the conversation away from his and Ianto’s love life. “Let’s let the reporters talk. Good for comedy gold, if nothing else really…” “Excuse me, Miss Foster. If I could?” a voice crackled into through Ianto’s transceiver. “I'm Penny Carter, science correspondent for The Observer. There are a thousand diet pills on the market, a thousand con men stealing people's money. How do we know the fat isn't going straight into your bank account?” “Oh, I like her…” Rainbow laughed. “Man oh man, I wish I could be there to see this Miss Foster’s face! She seemed like such a smug little bi-” “Rainbow, language!” both Twilight and Gwen reprimanded with Twilight rubbing her temples. She figured right about now if she had a swear jar Twilight would have made herself a very rich mare off of Rainbow alone. “...Fine, spoil my fun why don’t you?” Rainbow muttered crossing her forelegs and looking like a spoilt child who’d been denied their candy. “...Man, sure we couldn’t have snuck me in there as some sort of plush toy?” “...You’re er… a bit big for that, I think. And a bit too realistic,” Gwen murmured snickering at the image of Ianto carrying around the pegasus like a stuffed toy. “I don’t think you would have convinced anybody.” “You sure? I mean, failing that you could pass me off as some sort of mutated chihuahua or something right?” Rainbow asked. “A chihuahua with blue fur and wings?” Twilight asked raising an eyebrow. “Meh, you’d be surprised what some morons would believe at times,” Rainbow said with a shrug of her wings. “I mean, start waving around a clipboard in the right situations and people shut up and listen right?” “She’s got a point there!” Jack laughed. “I… I think there’s a clear difference between this and that,” Twilight muttered before turning her attention back to Ianto’s transceiver. “But, can I just ask, how many people have taken the pills to date?” that same reporter, Penny asked. If one listened closely, the sound of teeth grinding could be heard. That was probably Miss Foster, really. “We've already got one million customers within the Greater London area alone, but from next week, we start rolling out nationwide. The future starts here. And Britain will be thin.” Miss Foster replied and if Jack didn’t know better he swore she was smirking. He grit his teeth, the bitch. “...Thin and what else?” Jack had to ask turning towards the Doctor. It was in all honesty, starting to get a little cramped in this van. Now normally, he’d make a joke about that but somehow he’d lost the mood. Well, that and he figured Twilight would probably beat him over the head. “What’s her endgame really?” “Maybe she really is trying to make us all thin as rakes,” the Doctor commented before the two both shared a look and began laughing their arses off. Oh, if only right? But things were never that simple. The Doctor groaned to himself, as much as he enjoyed working with Jack again this wasn’t exactly a walk in the park. One would think having future knowledge would be a benefit but Donna really hadn’t elaborated on how exactly the company had carried out their nefarious plot. His brain had mostly stopped at the point when he heard that Jack had been captured. And now he had a chance to fix that. Trouble was, with a lack of information things weren’t quite so easy. He so wished he could be on the inside, he probably would have had this whole thing solved in just an hour just by talking to the right people. Mind you, not even the psychic paper would explain away a talking horse. So here he was, stuck in the back of a bloody van eating week-old food. He chuckled bitterly to himself, seems being a horse wasn’t entirely as good as he thought it was. And just when he’d figured out how to use his sonic in this form as well! So, time flew by with a whole lot of boredom as these things went the group just mostly listening to Ianto hobnobbing with the movers and shakers of Adipose Industries and trying -and mostly failing- to get any information out of them. The Doctor meanwhile, in-between trying not to freak out on the possibility of him failing to save Jack twice in a row wracked his brain. Adipose… Adipose he thought to himself. He swore he’d heard that name somewhere else before. Was it a group, or was it a planet? Goodness knows he’d been to so many at times they all seemed like just a jumble inside his brain. He sighed to himself, he’d probably remember where he’d heard it before at a later day. Ianto really, well he wasn’t having much better of a day. Now, when most people imagined a spy’s life they thought of the glamour and romance of a guy zipping around nations in a nice car romancing beautiful women and shooting people. The truth was… well, it was nothing quite like that. A spy’s life was… mostly boring. It involved in actuality, less romance and less nice cars than you thought it did. Less nice suits as well. And certainly no blackjack and no foreign nations. James Bond, he certainly was not. The reality of the life was more investigating things with a cup of stale ramen or hiding in the vents just listening to people talk for hours on end. As the day wore on, Ianto found himself in the middle of the offices listening to people talk away endlessly over the phone with potential customers and investors. And so did Jack and the others for that matter. He wouldn’t be surprised if the group had fallen asleep by this point out of sheer boredom really. “...That's a three-week course of pills for a special price of forty-five pounds. I assure you, no side effects from any of this. Trust me, it’s been proven to work!” one of the telephone workers said to the possible latest fish he’d hooked. Lots of little junior Gordon Geckos working and slaving away at their office like drones in some massive hive. That’s what it was like working in this frankly oppressive environment Ianto had observed. Ianto’s head turned, and for a brief moment, he saw a flash of red hair and another woman flashing a very obviously false Health and Safety badge to one of the workers. He debated on calling her out on it, but decided she wasn’t really that important. He had bigger fish to fry. Namely those with liposuctioned lips and unnaturally blond hair. “The box comes with 21 days worth of pills, a full information pack, and our special free gift, an Adipose Industries pendant,” the man continued over the phone even as Ianto pulled up a chair and flashed his badge. He looked at the pendant, a gold-plated pill. Not his idea of a fashion statement for sure. “...It's made of eighteen-carat gold, and it's yours for free. No, we don't give away pens, sorry. No, I can't make an exception, no.” Ianto tapped him on the shoulder and the man looked up at him. Craig, by his ID tag. “I'll just need to keep this for testing. And I just need a list of your customers. Could you print it off?” Ianto requested and the man nodded. Determined not to give away the illusion, Ianto continued. “Does it need a code? The last place I worked, the printer needed a code.” Okay, that much was true at least. Torchwood’s printers always needed a code, much to everyone’s chareign. “No, no. I can do it from here. Just wait and watch,” Craig clarified. Ianto turned his head and saw the red-haired woman going through the same pains as him, even asking if it was that printer over there by the potted fern. Just then, Miss Foster walked in flanked by two rough and tough looking guys in suits. Clearing her throat in a way that made Ianto question if she ever needed a cough drop, she asked: “Excuse me, everyone, if I could have your attention?” Everyone stood at this. Smiling in this sickeningly sweet way, Foster continued. “On average, you're each selling forty Adipose packs per day. It's not enough. I want one hundred sales per person per day. And if not, you'll be replaced. Because if anyone's good in trimming the fat, it's me. Now, back to it.” she asked and Ianto felt shivers run through his body. And it wasn’t because of any sudden drops in temperature trust me. “So much for this mission being a relaxing one, with her breathing down my neck…” “So if you could just print off that list, I'll get out of your way. Lovely. Thanks, then. See you,” Ianto smiled before Craig handed him a slip of paper. “Oh, what's that?” “My telephone number,” Craig said. “You be health, and I’ll be safety.” “Uh…” Ianto said tugging at his collar. “Uh…” It took all of Jack’s strength and self-control to not burst in there and shoot Craig dead then and there. Needless to say, perhaps Gwen and the Doctor might have helped reign in him as well. Ianto on the other hand? He couldn’t quite get out of there fast enough, leaving a hurried: “Ah. Ah. But that contravenes er, paragraph five, subsection C. Sorry!” Jack was still seething later that night as Torchwood took to the streets of London’s suburbs in search of some of the customers Ianto had managed to get ahold of. “...The nerve of him!” Jack muttered even an angry horn let out a sharp honk as Jack swerved the van barely missing a car. “I swear, people these days!” “Hey, he didn’t know any better,” Ianto commented. “I don’t see why you’re getting all up in such a huff. You know I only have eyes for you…” There was a sound of a mock gag in the background. Probably Rainbow. “Yes, sorry. It’s just I’m still trying to work out this relationship… thing,” Jack admitted even as Gwen roared past in the team’s distinctive heavily armored SUV. Inside that, rested the Doctor and Twilight. “You must understand that you’re my first stable relationship in… what, 100 years? Maybe more… Before you, it was just-” “Fling after fling, I know,” Ianto sighed. “Yeah, I know. But this still doesn’t excuse you getting all uppity for one guy having a flirt with me. And need I remind you, he didn’t know I was dating anyone!” the man pointed out. “This is going to be a thing, isn’t it?” Jack muttered before sighing at the look Ianto gave him. “Yep, definitely going to be a thing…” Pushing those thoughts aside, Jack’s thoughts returned to that of the Doctor. Flashing back to Cardiff, he thought back to their last conversation deep beneath the bay… “So, been captured before. I’m sure future me will find a way to bust out,” Jack laughed and the Doctor gave him a look. How could he be so flippant about this? Jack could only sigh. “Honestly Doctor, you need to remember you’re never alone in this. You never have been. Let us help you, just this once. I know you’re hardly a fan of Torchwood and you have every right to hate the group after what they pulled at Canary Wharf, but this… This is our jurisdiction and our specialty. And this time we will be helping you. So… please. Let us.” Jack pleaded. The Doctor ran a frantic hoof through his mane before sighing and giving his answer. “Alright.” the Time Lord agreed. “But we do this by the book. No fancy hero stuff okay?” “Doc, listen. I know you’re scared,” Jack sighed kneeling down to the pony’s level. Well, at least it was a definite step up from being cold and prejudiced towards him for being an ‘anomaly’ he supposed. “But there’s a reason why we’re in this together now. You’ve never been alone, you understand this right?” Actually, the Captain wasn’t sure if he preferred the cold and rude Doctor to this new stubborn one. At least that one didn’t want to be near him because of his status, not because he was afraid of losing someone else. Jack understood where he was coming from. After Tosh and Owen, well… Jack would be frankly terrified of losing another member of his team. And after Rose and the aftermath of Canary Wharf, he knew the Doctor was just as scared of losing another figure in his life. He may not have admitted it, but he could see it in the Doctor’s eyes. It was a look Jack knew all too well, given he saw it in the mirror every morning. “Doctor... “ Jack continued. “I get where you’re coming from, I really do. I don’t know what you’ve been up to since the whole thing with the year that never was and the Master but-” “...I’m so sick of losing people,” the Doctor sighed. “I mean, look at you, with your eyes, and your never giving up, and your anger, and your kindness. All you humans. Suppose you keep me from going spare I suppose…” “Well, nice to know you think of us so much,” Jack commented with a small sad smile. “But what’s your point?” “You saw the end of the universe, you saw what’s coming. Humans, always been something I’ve relied upon. I suppose after seeing even they will pass… No, not just pass, they’ll be butchered and mutilated. I suppose after seeing all that, I got in my box and I did what I always do. I just… ran.” the Doctor whispered looking towards Twilight, happily chatting away with Gwen neither of the none the wiser. “And ran I did. Ran so far and so fast I ended up with them. Innocent little things, you’d think, right? But they’re more like humans than I’d care to admit. Perhaps that’s why when I found Equestria… I was so tempted to stay as it’s fate isn’t yet set in stone.” “And have you?” Jack asked. “Stayed, I mean?” “Possibly considering it, yes. There’s someon… No, somepony that might finally convince me to stop running.” “Nice to hear you’re getting back on the wagon again,” Jack smiled. “So, what’s her name? Or his, far be it from me to judge!” he laughed. “Celestia,” the Doctor noted with more than a hint of fondness. Jack was tempted to make a joke, something about only the Doctor falling for someone with a name like that or vice versa but decided against it. Instead, he listened. “...Can’t believe I’m saying it, but she’s probably one of the only creatures in this universe who’s almost exactly like me. She’s no Time Lord, but I’d be honored to call her one. So wise, and so so old…” “Now I have to meet her. I guess what they say is true, the reality is never quite like how you expected. Between the motion and the act…” Jack started with the Doctor finishing for him. “Falls the shadow.” the Time Lord mused. Back in the present, Ianto yelped as Jack jerked the wheel to avoid running headlong into the back end of another vehicle. Another horn honked as the immortal Captain was shot back to the present. “Hey, between your marital spats and your driving, think I’m probably going to get sick back here!” Rainbow shouted before letting out a soft moan. “Oh, don’t you dare throw up on the carpets back there!” Jack shouted back at her. “God knows it took ages to get them to put it in. Reupholstering them is going to be a nightmare…” Ianto suddenly burst out laughing and Jack looked at him. “...We have such weird lives, you know that?” the Welshman asked. “I mean, only we would run into talking ponies from another world! Only us!” Jack soon was laughing as well at this realization while Rainbow was just plain confused. Eventually, the van pulled into suburbia and was quickly hidden away in an alley to avoid any odd questions. “Lights off,” Jack told Rainbow. “If you see anyone coming, just hide.” “Wait, why am I staying back here? I mean, I could help!” Rainbow shouted. “You should see me! I once single hooftidly exposed some changelings in ancient Roam!” “Yeah, but this isn’t your planet,” Jack stated. “This is the suburbs, and I’d really not have to Retcon away an entire neighborhood because they started asking around about a rainbow-maned pegasus.” Rainbow harrumphed but conceded his point. Celestia knew ponies would freak if they saw Jack or someone like him waltzing up the streets of Canterlot. Hell, Rainbow had been around the guy for hours now and she still was getting used to his appearance. So, she could see where Jack was coming from. In any case, Jack meanwhile had gone up to the house of one mister Roger Davey and rang the doorbell, with the man having come out to see him and Ianto. “Mister Roger Davey? We’re calling on behalf of Adipose Industries. Just need to ask you a few questions,” Jack said giving the man one of his winning smiles. “Nothing more, nothing less. Come now, nothing to be afraid of.” Gwen was doing much the same thing at another house, while the Doctor and Twilight snuck around and tried to look for anything… off. Presumably, Gwen was a bit more loose with the rules. Or the Doctor’s perception filter was working much better with him and Twilight. “I've been on the pills for two weeks now. I've lost fourteen kilos,” Roger explained with Ianto taking notes all the while. “And that’s the same amount every day I should explain.” “Same amount?” Ianto asked and Roger nodded in turn. “Yes, exactly. Same amount every day. One kilo exactly. You wake up, and it's disappeared overnight. Well, technically speaking, it's gone by ten past one in the morning.” Now, this got Jack’s curiosity intrigued, to say the least. Raising an eyebrow, he said: “Oh, what makes you say that?” “That's when I get woken up. Might as well weigh myself at the same time,” Roger replied. “Seems fair enough, right?” Ianto and Jack could only shrug. Roger explained. “It is driving me mad. Ten minutes past one, every night, bang on the dot without fail, the burglar alarm goes off. I've had experts in, I've had it replaced, I've even phoned Watchdog. But no, ten past one in the morning, off it goes!” the man said throwing up his hands in the air in exasperation. “But there’s been no burglars, right?” Ianto asked. “Not even the one?” “Not even the one,” Roger clarified. “I mean, it’s really odd. Nothing. I've given up looking frankly…” he said taking a sip of his tea. Jack looked towards the front door and asked upon observation: “Tell me, Roger. Have you got a cat flap?” “It was here when I bought the house. I've never bothered with it, really. I'm not a cat person.” A suspicion was beginning to form in Jack’s mind, and from the dawning look on Ianto’s eyes, he’d realized it as well. “Is that what it is, though? Cats getting inside the house?” Roger asked. In Jack’s mind, this theory was a bit of a long one truth be told. Crazy, wild and possibly insane. But then again, he had seen weirder. Much weirder. “...Well, that’s the thing about cat flaps isn’t it?” Jack muttered. “They don't just let things in, they let things out as well…” After all, he mused. After all, as they said. After all, the fat just walks away. The Doctor galloping past with an odd device in hoof confirmed something was up in Jack’s mind, and he rushed out the door. Ianto meanwhile just gave him the Torchwood hotline. Following after the Doctor, Jack met up with him in an alleyway where some knocked over garbage cans indicated something had come this way. “Well… so much for a quiet night in the suburbs eh Doc?” Jack asked, and the Time Lord could only nod. “I think we’d better have another look at Adipose Industries…” he added. Back in Equestria, the Master was still on House Arrest and smirking to himself. He’d gotten to Celestia. The look on her face said it all. She was sufficiently rattled. So much for the high and mighty Princess these ponies looked up to he thought with a devilish smirk. Yes, it was petty revenge for denying him his chance to rule Equestria but he was a petty man. And nothing would have amused him more than getting to the Doctor’s newfound mane -he chuckled to himself at the pun- squeeze. And his grin only ever grew wider as Celestia stepped inside. Smirking to himself, he began to speak. “So, here to-” he started with his confidence at an all-time high considering his last victory over the Princess of the Sun. It was soon to fade as spears were pointed at him by Royal Guards and he was cuffed. “We need to talk…” Celestia snarled.