A lone urban explorer has found the body of a deceased woman. Her name: Sunset Shimmer. She rests upon a book that glows as it beckons to be read.
Though her body is cold, something stirs. The explorer will find out the hard way that some bodies are better left undisturbed.
---You might like this story if you also like---
Sunset Shimmer
Twilight Sparkle
The Human World
Humans Solving Problems
Messages of Forgiveness
Stories of Isolation
Nightmare Scenarios
Perfect Story for an Audio-Book Reading
--Update: Slot 32 in Popular Column as of 7:05PM CST Oct 4th, 2016 Tues
--Update: Slot 7 in Featured Box Between 7:05PM-7:56PM CST Oct 4, 2016 Tues
--Update: Slot 5 in Featured Box 2:29PM CST Oct 5, 2016 Wed
--Update: Slot 4 in Featured Box 2:33PM CST Oct 5, 2016
--Update: Slot 3 in Featured Box 3:01PM CST Oct 5, 2016 - Hot Status
--Update: Slot 2 in Featured Box 3:10 PM CST Oct 5, 2016 - Hot Status
--UPDATE: SLOT 1 in FEATURED BOX 5:33PM CST Oct 5, 2016! FINALLY!
Thank you everypony! ;_;
(I'm just really excited it's stayed in the Featured Box this long. I haven't had this happen in four years /)(^0^)(\ )
(Thank you, Doctor-Disco for sending me the Slot 7 Screenshot!)
Too tired to summarize my thoughts. Worth an upvote, but not a fav for me.
I'm not a fan of Horror Stories, but I've been listening to this while reading.
I felt scared...
so you updating other stories now?
Is that a request?
Sunset dead? Now thats a story I can get behind.
On a more serious note, I liked this story. It contains horror elements but it never really feels like your trying to hard. It can be really hard to write a good horror. I applaud you for that.
A quite decent horror story...
BUT, a rather poor MLP story. (Cough, cough.
)
Heck, that's just the immortals from the show this site has given emoticons.
That being said, Sunset ending up doing something horrible to herself on accident is a decent enough plot-hook... but hubris for having sought the secrets of immortality doesn't seem likely.
Loved it. A few punctuation errors but nothing severe enough to detract from the fic's enjoyment.
Let's make it a series. Turn Rainbow Dash into a salt mummy.
I'm uneasy about whether Sunset's motivation was in character or not, but this was an excellent horror fic that did not go into grimdark mature level stuff, and had a non-depressing ending.
MOTOR BOATS!?
poor sunset
Wow.... holy hell
7616727
Ah, i do appreciate the upvote and especially the comment. Thank you for reading! :D
7616773
WHOA. That music is freaky! And I love it <3
Thank you for reading! :D
7617044
I'm working my writing abilities back up to their previous strength, like when a bodybuilder is away from the gym for a while and wants to tackle that super tough challenge, but they gotta practice first.
Super tough challenge = Equus Metamorphosis and Megan's Descent, amongst others. :P
I've been wanting to read something slightly creepy recently, and this fulfilled it.
Mah poor Sunset tho
7617160
Quite a few people have shown interest in audio-recording my horror stories, so I make sure to put that the stories are available for reading. That way, they don't have to worry about asking :)
7617220
Thank you for the compliment! I don't know if you noticed a scene that gets a bit meta, where I was mentioning the flashlight wasn't going to go out on its own, because I try to avoid cliches. I want the characters to be responsible for their actions, and having Deus Ex Machina occur to them isn't something I like to do.
Thanks for reading!
7617378
Ah, well I am working my way up the ladder of spookiness. :)
This idea spawned from a related concept of mine where Sunset was plagued by imps that were drawn to her demon power back when she tried to take over Canterlot High. This is an evolved form of that concept that took a different approach.
Thank you for reading! :)
7617473
OHHHH a salt mummy! That's intriguing! :D
I don't think I've had rainbow dash in a horror fic yet. Her flight and speed is going to have to be worked into the equation. Can't scare something if it can constantly outrun/outfly you. :)
Thank you for reading!
7617808
Thank you, Revan!
It's tough to push some of these characters a bit further than you'd normally expect in their motivation, though at some point I take those leaps to see what kind of stories can spawn from them.
Closing in on the end, I wanted to see what kind of ending I could do that was satisfying, and that is what I came up with.
One of these days, though, you're gonna end up seeing a BRUTAL ending, but you won't know when ;)
7617840
I am trying so hard to get that reference like you don't even understand :P
7618178
I know :(
Thank you for reading and for the compliment you sent me separately! *hugs*
7618207
Yep yep! Thanks for reading! :D *hugs*
7618228
Thank you for reading!
This story was one of those moments where a writer goes "Man, i really like this character. How far am I willing to take this?"
It's tough, because you have favorites that can be hard to write one way or another. Here, I think the reason I was able to write it so easily is cause I didn't have to write how she died, so in my mind, I as the writer hadn't done anything to one of my favorite characters. I simply detailed what happened after.
A psychological roundabout, as it were. :P
Hahahaha!
YES!
FEATURE BOARDS BUD WOOHOO!
s19.postimg.org/f8pf1e92b/Screenshot_120.png
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
7618250
7618247 There is no reference. I just thought of a motor boat from reading the story.
Honestly, I don;t know why myself. i just...did. That's it. I just thought of a motor boat and i have no clue why. I kind of hoped you would figure out the reference for me but now i'm stuck on square one trying to understand why i thought of bloody motor boats.
7618266
OH BUCK YEAH! /)
Thank you for recording that! And because of the upvote number on there, that means it happened AFTER I did my screenshot of it! :D I'm so happy! Thank you!
Great gods this was a good write, I love it, you have an immense amount of praise from me. Gods damn it I can't get over the emotions in this short flick. Frak!
7618725
Whoa, what high praise! Thank you so much! Your enthusiasm makes me happy! And makes me want to write more, which is always good :P
7618725
Also if you really enjoyed that tale, here's one you might like. It is currently unfinished, but you get a good chunk of story:
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/337009/the-wishmaker-megans-descent
Megan Williams has been living for 20 years without any sign of Equestria from her childhood, until several children go missing. Meanwhile, she finds a terrifying secret in the basement of her barn...a barn which never had a basement before...
7618240 If she's a salt mummy, she would no longer be fast. Maybe that could be what ties her to the world of the living: envy of the athleticism she lost.
7618853
Oh that is frickin TRAGIC
I love it. It should be written!
7618903 I'm not much of a horror writer so I give the idea to the public domain. If anyone wants it, they can have it.
All I ask for are boobs.
Could've done with another draft, I think. The concept isn't too bad, but the writing is really rough and awkward in places.
This was the most enjoyable horror story I've ever read. It was gripping (no pun intended), dark and stirring, without being depressing or overly grim. In fact, it was almost ...encouraging? ...in a really dark kinda way.
So many emotions
7618226 well at least this fic was in time for Halloween
please, may we have a prequel showing how sunset turned into a wraith? the story was great and I want more.
7619174
I'm actually working on a separate story that's my attempt to revise a horror work as many times as possible before it's ready for publication, just to see what kind of difference I can make from first quick draft to whatever draft I get to. It's revealing some very interesting stuff.
For this story, I could do what I did with one of my older works, where I posted the first draft, then went back, revised it, and added the second draft as a director's cut in a separate chapter entry after the first.
The reason I tend to overwhelmingly put first drafts up on the site is because I am learning how to write stories quickly and efficiently the first time, though as you can see, there are definitely rough patches and awkward sentencing. it's a battle for inspiration in my mind, but I will try to find a method to help me refine these works a little more before I end up posting them. Maybe a rotating writing schedule so I can loop back around and make a second draft to everything before I post?
Thanks for the comment and suggestion! I'm thinking about how to work it out.
7619228
Wow! Thank you for the very kind compliments! I'm glad that this story moved you in so many ways. In fact, I don't know if you're read this other horror story of mine, but if you haven't and you like this Sunset one, you should give this one a shot:
The Wishmaker: Megan's Descent
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/337009/the-wishmaker-megans-descent
Megan Williams has been living for 20 years without any sign of Equestria from her childhood, until several children go missing. Meanwhile, she finds a terrifying secret in the basement of her barn...a barn which never had a basement before...
7619291
Who knows how many spoopy fics we'll see from all authors on this site for the Ween? :)
7619296
Yay! *hugs* Thank you! I've got some ideas of how I would write a prequel. Reader has to go in knowing they would see Sunset die at one point, so that'll be interesting. Probably a story on how she looks for immortality, but then has to face her own mortality instead.
Thank you for reading the story! :D
WHENEVER I read something that involves a cool character passing away it just makes me sad. Even though I'm not a fan of the death and stuff, it was a good story with a good closure.
7619915
Aww *hugs* Yeah, it can be really tough for me to read when a cool character passes away too. Like I told another reader, this was easier to write for me because I didn't have to write her death scene, since she was already passed away. But still, I wanted the type of ending you saw there.
Thank you for reading!
Holy nightmare fuel...
Have an upvote.
Gonna go sit with the lights on now.
7619941
Aww thank you! What an awesome compliment?
May I interest in another one of my horror stories as well?
The Wishmaker: Megan's Descent
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/337009/the-wishmaker-megans-descent
Megan Williams has been living for 20 years without any sign of Equestria from her childhood, until several children go missing. Meanwhile, she finds a terrifying secret in the basement of her barn...a barn which never had a basement before...
7619629
A more "natural" approach to editing, which is say reading it over again a few times and revising as much as necessary for the story to read and flow well, seems like it would be the better idea. Playing around with degrees of editing as a stylistic choice is very "experimental," but it's not really a good idea in terms of producing something that's readable. There are some problems that only become visible on a second pass or with a second set of eyes. There's a reason editing exists in the first place - most of the time, the first draft isn't really as good as it could be with a bit more time and care invested into filing down the rough edges.
Not usually a horror fan but at least Sunset was able to come to her senses and not murder the poor bastard.
7619966
Oh I can see how that would work a lot better. Rather than a complete revision, simply just focus on making minor edits to what has already been written (but edits which would be more substantial than just a spellcheck run, which is what I always do for my stories right now).
I really need to consider that "revising" doesn't have to mean a full overhaul of the stories. That's a misconception I've had for years which has been hard to break.
Thank you for the suggestion!
That was a pretty good story. I like it when a horror story has a more upbeat ending (well, in the sense that the protagonist escaped a bad fate, not that Sunset's death was upbeat at all of course ...)