Don't Turn Your Back (Complete Story)
The corpse of the red-haired woman in the leather jacket sat hunched over the table in the abandoned study. An urban explorer by the name of Keith examined the body with a flashlight casting shadows across the back-end of the bookcases. He was careful not to touch anything.
“Holy shit...” he whispered. He worried that a loud sound might disrupt the scene and...and what? He couldn’t think of a reason. But something within him stirred. The dead body was bad enough. But it was immobile. The blood looked like it had been dry for a long time. If she had been killed, then whoever did was most likely gone by now.
There was a revolver on the table near her left hand. He wanted to check it and see if it had been fired, but when he looked at the head of the woman, there were no entry or exit wounds. The head was fully intact. He placed his hand near her mouth for a full minute. No breathe came out. The body did not move up and down peacefully as one would when asleep. And yet, there was a blindfold around her eyes. Keith was struck by the overpowering urge to remove it and see the stare hidden underneath. His hands absentmindedly touched the edge of the cloth. He shuddered and pulled back.
No way. Cops will think I did it, he thought. He flashed the beam of light underneath her arms and saw a book underneath her head. There was a small glow coming from within it. A pen was still in the right hand of the woman. The glow flashed again within the book. Keith wanted to remove it, but the woman’s head was resting on it. He’d have to move her.
Is there a phone stuck in the pages of the book? He thought as he heard it vibrate with each pulse of light. He grabbed the book’s edge and waited. Sure enough, the vibration came through. Somebody could be calling her. Somebody who misses her. Somebody who needs to know what happened. Keith reached underneath her neck with trembling fingers. He felt for a pulse. Nothing. He held her head up slightly. She was ice cold. He shivered. The book slid out easily from underneath her head as he placed her cheek on the table. He looked at the book…
Did the pen hand move? He stared with the light. Maybe...the whole body had been disturbed now, so it only made sense the posture would shift a little. He felt the book vibrate in his hand. It fell to the floor with a thud that caused his heart to leap into his chest. He shot the flashlight around the room, taking in the wooden doorframes, the large archways, and the soft beam of moonlight falling through the thin basement window. The wooden floors creaked underfoot as the beam fell across the body once more.
Her head was turned the other way. It stared at him with blindfolded eyes.
Keith shook his head. “No...no, I’m imagining things,” he said out loud. “You’re dead and that’s that.” He waited for a response while the flashlight shone around the body. It did not move. “Yeah...that’s what I thought.” He bent down to pick up the book and held it in his hand. He couldn’t read it while the flashlight was pointed at the woman, so he shone it at the book in front of him. Still, he turned his body towards the corpse. He felt safer that way.
The book had words on the most recent page. And they were still appearing.
Keith stared in disbelief at the message forming in front of him.
Hey Sunset. Are you there?
What do you mean the spirits were chasing you?
Please write back.
Please. I know you must be okay because the book is registering that it has an owner.
Write back, please.
Is this a new type of wireless computer tablet? Keith thought. She must have died recently. He looked for a prompt on the page to input information. I need a pen. Sunset...that her name? She had one…
He shone the light upon Sunset’s body.
It was now on the floor at his feet, one hand outstretched an inch away from his boots.
“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!” Keith screamed as he staggered back. The book fell out of his hands once more as it hit the ground next to the fallen body. He nearly lost his balance, but righted himself just in time. His breathing became rapid. He stared at the blindfolded form on the ground. “Why didn’t you make a sound?! What the fuck!” He bent down. “Hey, are you alive? Tell me you’re okay!” He hesitated, but reached out and tapped her on the shoulder, then immediately backed up about five feet. She did not move. He tapped the body with his foot. Nothing. “Oh come on!” He looked at her hands and saw both of them clutched tight. The pen was still in the right hand. He knelt down over it. “Sorry, but...I need this.” He grabbed the pen. The grip was iron. He stepped on the hand as he tugged. There was a loud crack from underneath his shoe as he gasped. “Oh shit,” he said. The pen came free. “I am so sorry.” He released his boot and turned away, unable to look at the form of the woman whose hand he just broke. He walked over to the book right next to her, picked it up and stopped in the corner of the room about thirty feet away from the body. He opened to the last page and started writing.
Hey who is this?
My name is Keith.
I found
He stopped. Should he tell Sunset’s friend that he found her body? He shone the light back down at the table.
The body was missing.
He gasped and shone it closer to his feet. Sunset’s corpse was three feet away. It looked as though it were in mid-crawl, with back hunched up off the ground and gnarled hands propping her up. She stared at Keith with blindfolded eyes.
“Oh my god...” he said. The beam of light wavered as his hands shook. “Can you hear me? Stop fucking around!” He panned the light atop the table at the gun, then back down at Sunset. In the three seconds he had moved the beam, she had advanced two feet. She was now right below him, propped up on her hands, staring at him immobile behind a veil of cloth. He could not see her eyes but he felt her stare. His heart seized up. His breaths came out in quick gasps.
He kept the light trained on the unmoving body on the floor as he strafed around it around while moving towards the gun. He placed the book on the table and picked up the gun. He opened the chamber. There were no bullets. He dropped it back on the table with a useless clatter. Sunset still hadn’t moved. The book buzzed, nearly causing Keith’s heart to jump. He picked it up and moved it to the very edge of the light beam so the book wouldn’t block Sunset from his view. Words began to appear.
Keith? Who are you, Keith?
I’m Twilight. Where is Sunset Shimmer?
She’s the girl in the red hair.
Is she okay?
“No, she’s not fucking okay. She’s very far from fucking okay! Okay?” Keith yelled. Sunset remained idle. He looked at the doors down the hall and wondered how far he had to go to get to the front door. Sunset was no longer his problem. He’d let the police deal with her. He had cleared how many rooms? He was in the basement, with a staircase leading past the archway and up into the first floor. There were other rooms around, but his goal was to get out as quickly as possible.
He kept his gaze on Sunset as he moved across the room. In his haste, for the slightest of seconds, the beam left her position. When it fell upon her, Sunset’s head had turned in his direction. Her mouth was open. Red oozed out and pattered to the floor, breaking the silence.
Keith yelped in surprise. He turned up the stairs and bolted upwards. Thirty steps later he was at the top. He grabbed the door and turned.
Sunset was halfway up the steps, her mouth open in a snarl, leaking bile and blood onto the path she had made in silence. The dripping was the only sound Keith heard. He slammed the door closed and set the latch on it. “Fuck that,” he said through a breathless whisper. He heard a loud slam on the other side as he jumped back. Then, nothing. He ran through the house, desperately searching for the exit. He opened door after door, but found no room with a window and no way outside. He could have sworn the layout was completely different than when he had entered.
Then he found something. A door unlike any other. Thick mosaic glass reached up along its side. It was too thin to crawl through, but enough to see the light of cars passing by. Keith kicked the door. The firm construction resisted each hit. There were no dents. No signs of impact of any kind.
“HELPPPPPPP!” He yelled.
A loud bang issued from below. Then, the sound of something scraping its way through the ventilation system. “Oh no,” Keith said. He shone his light around. He found a room off to the side, closed the door and looked around. There were no vents, no windows and no other forms of entry. It was completely empty with featureless brown walls. Almost like he was underground.
Keith kept his light trained on the door as he backed up to the furthest end of the room. He pulled out the journal and wrote furiously.
Twilight
Sunset is dead
She’s chasing me through the house
I don’t know what to do.
Help
Keith looked around again. There was a closet around the corner from the room door he hadn’t noticed at first. He ran over to it, closed the shutters and turned off his light. She can’t get me in here. She doesn’t know I’m here. The door is locked. The door is locked…
The book buzzed again. Its vibration was like a moaning creature calling out in the dark. “Fuck!” Keith whispered. He opened it, but couldn’t read it in the pitch blackness. He shone the light once more. There was nothing in the closet with him. He could see out the shutters. The room was still empty. He focused on the book.
No, you have to be wrong!
She can’t be dead!
She sent me a message less than an hour ago!
What do you mean she’s chasing you?
Keith looked up from the book. The blood around Sunset’s body had been dry for a while. But was it her blood? Her body was ice cold. Her mouth bled when it was open. He crushed the bones in her hand and she didn’t move a muscle. What was she? He pulled out the pen and wrote furiously. The scratching of the point reminded him of fingernails on wood.
She was facedown on a desk
Blood around her
This book below
I took the book
She moved when I wasn’t looking at her
Now she’s chasing me
She was cold
She was dead
He shone the light through the shutters. Still nothing. His heart jumped when he thought he heard movement nearby. There was nothing in the closet with him. In fact, there was nothing in any room of the house he’d seen. He wrote quickly.
This house is changing
There are no exits
No windows
I can’t get out
Am I going to die twilight
I don’t want to die
The door opened.
Keith instinctively turned off his light. NO. I LOCKED IT. He thought through panicked breaths. Then, he remembered his message. He had asked Twilight a question. Soon, she would respond. Soon, the book would vibrate. Like a dying animal, it would cry out. And Sunset would know where he was.
And like clockwork, the noise issued from the book.
Keith suppressed the urge to cry. He opened and closed the book quickly so the buzzing would stop. He waited for the end, feeling his eyes water. He had come so close.
But the door to the closet hadn’t been opened. Did she know he was in there? There was nowhere else to hide. Wait...she didn’t make noise when she moved. Did that mean anything she touched was silent too? He never heard her footsteps. He never heard her crawling across the creaky wooden floors. He moved his hand where the shutter should be. It wasn’t there. It was open.
He didn’t need to turn on the light to know she was staring right at him. He felt the hand close around his arm. Felt its crushing grip. Another moved towards his throat. He pushed back and the unseen body fell away from him. He turned on the light and fell to the ground with her iron grasp clutching his arm. Sunset lay sprawled on the floor. She did not move. The bandage over her eyes had fallen off and she now stared straight into the ceiling.
Keith felt tears falling across his face at the sight.
Sunset had no eyes. Empty, dirty sockets stood where her gaze should have been. And in one of them, something gold shone. Keith steeled himself and peered closer.
It was a key. Bloody and rusted, it sat neatly in the crevice where her left eye should have been.
With trembling hands, Keith reached down. He felt the red liquid around his fingers as he clenched the key in his grasp. He pulled it out with an audible squish of fluid. He stared at it. It looked like a house key.
He moved to stand but felt Sunset’s hand still around his arm. He tried hitting it to dislodge it, but she was like a statue. He saw the book on the floor next to him and pulled it close. Another message was inside.
my...
my friend...
is dead...
Keith waited and grasped the book. Please say something. Anything! More words appeared.
Keith
I couldn't save her
but i'm going to save you
Listen
she’s a wraith now.
don’t let her out of your sight
She’ll chase you forever.
You have to give her what she wants or you’ll never be free of her.
Keith wrote furiously in response.
She’s got me, Twilight
I have the light on her
but her hand is stuck around my arm
When the light goes out,
I’m dead.
What can I give her?
I don’t have anything she wants
Keith looked at the book and then at the body of the woman he never knew. The book was the one thing she had been holding when he found her. She only moved after he removed it. It was his fault. All of it. Sunset might never have come after him if it wasn’t for the book. Keith continued his writing.
I think she wants the book, Twilight
But what if I give it to her and it doesn’t work?
She tried to kill me once already
What do I do?
He waited.
While he knelt over the body of his captor, he expected the flashlight to go out. He thought it would flicker. Thought it would lose life on its own, leaving him to his fate. But it didn’t. It stayed bright and shone over the unmoving body of the eyeless Sunset. It meant that he would not die because of circumstance. He would have to turn off the light himself.
The book buzzed.
Give her the pen, Keith.
Place it in her hand.
Open the book in front of her
Move her in front of it
With her pen touching the page
Then
Turn off the light
Good luck, Keith.
If this doesn’t work
I’m sorry
Keith looked down at the words. He couldn’t believe what Twilight was asking him to do. He would be vunerable. And then he would be dead.
But as long as the light was on, Sunset couldn’t move. She couldn’t do anything. And if he didn’t turn off the flashlight the batteries would die eventually. And then he would have no way of fending her off.
“Sunset,” he said. “I don’t know if you can hear me, but Twilight wants you to talk to her.” Her placed the book next to her and opened it to the most recent page. “I’m sorry if I hurt you. I’m just...so scared right now.” he looked down at the body. He began to cry. “I can’t imagine what you must be going through if you’re still conscious through all of this.” He placed the pen in her hand and stared at her.
He wondered about Sunset. Wondered who she was and why she was so special to this Twilight who was communicating through the book. Wondered why her hair was red with yellow streaks or why she wore the leather jacket with the image of the sun on it. He imagined she must have been really special to this Twilight.
“I’ve never had to face death before,” Keith said. “I am so fucking terrified, Sunset. I can’t see a way out. And I don’t know why I think talking to you is going to change that. But...if you want to kill me...please make it quick...”
His hand shivered around the flashlight. He broke down crying. The beam dropped across sunset’s chest, placing her face in shadow. Keith found his free hand clutching Sunset’s grasp around his arm. He felt it move. It was cold. So very cold. The grip did not loosen. The light faced downward around Sunset’s midsection. She sat up. Keith felt his heart drop. He couldn’t see her face and he didn’t want to. He knew the lifeless eye sockets were there. Knew she was staring at his hopeless, crying form. He refused to look at her in the face. Her other hand dropped the pen and moved towards his neck.
“I’m so sorry,” Keith said, his voice cracking. “I’m sorry I took what belonged to you. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I’m sorry.”
Her hand clenched around his throat. But it didn’t close. In the darkness shrouding her face, Keith felt the warm breath from her mouth shroud his falling tears. Her hand moved up from his throat and stopped on his cheek. Sunset’s fingers wiped away the falling tears and held the side of his face. Keith looked up.
In the border between light and dark, he saw the vague outline of two green eyes starring back at him. They were soft. They were kind. With a soothing gaze of pity, they turned away from Keith and peered down at the open book. Sunset picked up the pen and began to write. After what seemed like an eternity, she stopped. The pen fell from her hand. Her grip loosened around Keith’s arm and she fell. Her body moved no more.
Keith pointed the flashlight at her. She was facedown. The book was open in front of her. Keith read it.
Twilight, I am so sorry.
I meddled in things I shouldn’t have.
If you ever come here
don’t follow my notes
I have been cursed by my pursuit of eternal life
I am sorry that my actions have hurt you
and so many others.
But know that I did it
because I wanted to live alongside you
not realizing I should enjoy the time I already have
And now I’ve wasted it
I’m sorry twilight
I love you
Forgive me
and remember the good in me
Keith
I forgive you
Please don’t be afraid any more
---
Keith stood outside the house and looked at the key in his hand. He locked the door behind him, leaving Sunset, the book and the nightmare behind. He stared at the house and wondered if it was somehow connected to her. He didn’t need to know about the side effects of her magic. He turned around and walked home.
Two hours later, sunrise rose over an empty lot. It was odd to see such a large wide-open space in-between so many other houses. How could the home developers forget to put a house there?
A little girl walked across the grass. She stubbed her toe on something and saw a small book with a strange symbol on the cover. She picked it up and opened it.
---
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Too tired to summarize my thoughts. Worth an upvote, but not a fav for me.
I'm not a fan of Horror Stories, but I've been listening to this while reading.
I felt scared...
so you updating other stories now?
Is that a request?
Sunset dead? Now thats a story I can get behind.
On a more serious note, I liked this story. It contains horror elements but it never really feels like your trying to hard. It can be really hard to write a good horror. I applaud you for that.
A quite decent horror story...
BUT, a rather poor MLP story. (Cough, cough.
)
Heck, that's just the immortals from the show this site has given emoticons.
That being said, Sunset ending up doing something horrible to herself on accident is a decent enough plot-hook... but hubris for having sought the secrets of immortality doesn't seem likely.
Loved it. A few punctuation errors but nothing severe enough to detract from the fic's enjoyment.
Let's make it a series. Turn Rainbow Dash into a salt mummy.
I'm uneasy about whether Sunset's motivation was in character or not, but this was an excellent horror fic that did not go into grimdark mature level stuff, and had a non-depressing ending.
MOTOR BOATS!?
poor sunset
Wow.... holy hell
7616727
Ah, i do appreciate the upvote and especially the comment. Thank you for reading! :D
7616773
WHOA. That music is freaky! And I love it <3
Thank you for reading! :D
7617044
I'm working my writing abilities back up to their previous strength, like when a bodybuilder is away from the gym for a while and wants to tackle that super tough challenge, but they gotta practice first.
Super tough challenge = Equus Metamorphosis and Megan's Descent, amongst others. :P
I've been wanting to read something slightly creepy recently, and this fulfilled it.
Mah poor Sunset tho
7617160
Quite a few people have shown interest in audio-recording my horror stories, so I make sure to put that the stories are available for reading. That way, they don't have to worry about asking :)
7617220
Thank you for the compliment! I don't know if you noticed a scene that gets a bit meta, where I was mentioning the flashlight wasn't going to go out on its own, because I try to avoid cliches. I want the characters to be responsible for their actions, and having Deus Ex Machina occur to them isn't something I like to do.
Thanks for reading!
7617378
Ah, well I am working my way up the ladder of spookiness. :)
This idea spawned from a related concept of mine where Sunset was plagued by imps that were drawn to her demon power back when she tried to take over Canterlot High. This is an evolved form of that concept that took a different approach.
Thank you for reading! :)
7617473
OHHHH a salt mummy! That's intriguing! :D
I don't think I've had rainbow dash in a horror fic yet. Her flight and speed is going to have to be worked into the equation. Can't scare something if it can constantly outrun/outfly you. :)
Thank you for reading!
7617808
Thank you, Revan!
It's tough to push some of these characters a bit further than you'd normally expect in their motivation, though at some point I take those leaps to see what kind of stories can spawn from them.
Closing in on the end, I wanted to see what kind of ending I could do that was satisfying, and that is what I came up with.
One of these days, though, you're gonna end up seeing a BRUTAL ending, but you won't know when ;)
7617840
I am trying so hard to get that reference like you don't even understand :P
7618178
I know :(
Thank you for reading and for the compliment you sent me separately! *hugs*
7618207
Yep yep! Thanks for reading! :D *hugs*
7618228
Thank you for reading!
This story was one of those moments where a writer goes "Man, i really like this character. How far am I willing to take this?"
It's tough, because you have favorites that can be hard to write one way or another. Here, I think the reason I was able to write it so easily is cause I didn't have to write how she died, so in my mind, I as the writer hadn't done anything to one of my favorite characters. I simply detailed what happened after.
A psychological roundabout, as it were. :P
Hahahaha!
YES!
FEATURE BOARDS BUD WOOHOO!
s19.postimg.org/f8pf1e92b/Screenshot_120.png
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
7618250
7618247 There is no reference. I just thought of a motor boat from reading the story.
Honestly, I don;t know why myself. i just...did. That's it. I just thought of a motor boat and i have no clue why. I kind of hoped you would figure out the reference for me but now i'm stuck on square one trying to understand why i thought of bloody motor boats.
7618266
OH BUCK YEAH! /)
Thank you for recording that! And because of the upvote number on there, that means it happened AFTER I did my screenshot of it! :D I'm so happy! Thank you!
Great gods this was a good write, I love it, you have an immense amount of praise from me. Gods damn it I can't get over the emotions in this short flick. Frak!
7618725
Whoa, what high praise! Thank you so much! Your enthusiasm makes me happy! And makes me want to write more, which is always good :P
7618725
Also if you really enjoyed that tale, here's one you might like. It is currently unfinished, but you get a good chunk of story:
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/337009/the-wishmaker-megans-descent
Megan Williams has been living for 20 years without any sign of Equestria from her childhood, until several children go missing. Meanwhile, she finds a terrifying secret in the basement of her barn...a barn which never had a basement before...
7618240 If she's a salt mummy, she would no longer be fast. Maybe that could be what ties her to the world of the living: envy of the athleticism she lost.
7618853
Oh that is frickin TRAGIC
I love it. It should be written!
7618903 I'm not much of a horror writer so I give the idea to the public domain. If anyone wants it, they can have it.
All I ask for are boobs.
Could've done with another draft, I think. The concept isn't too bad, but the writing is really rough and awkward in places.
This was the most enjoyable horror story I've ever read. It was gripping (no pun intended), dark and stirring, without being depressing or overly grim. In fact, it was almost ...encouraging? ...in a really dark kinda way.
So many emotions
7618226 well at least this fic was in time for Halloween
please, may we have a prequel showing how sunset turned into a wraith? the story was great and I want more.
7619174
I'm actually working on a separate story that's my attempt to revise a horror work as many times as possible before it's ready for publication, just to see what kind of difference I can make from first quick draft to whatever draft I get to. It's revealing some very interesting stuff.
For this story, I could do what I did with one of my older works, where I posted the first draft, then went back, revised it, and added the second draft as a director's cut in a separate chapter entry after the first.
The reason I tend to overwhelmingly put first drafts up on the site is because I am learning how to write stories quickly and efficiently the first time, though as you can see, there are definitely rough patches and awkward sentencing. it's a battle for inspiration in my mind, but I will try to find a method to help me refine these works a little more before I end up posting them. Maybe a rotating writing schedule so I can loop back around and make a second draft to everything before I post?
Thanks for the comment and suggestion! I'm thinking about how to work it out.
7619228
Wow! Thank you for the very kind compliments! I'm glad that this story moved you in so many ways. In fact, I don't know if you're read this other horror story of mine, but if you haven't and you like this Sunset one, you should give this one a shot:
The Wishmaker: Megan's Descent
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/337009/the-wishmaker-megans-descent
Megan Williams has been living for 20 years without any sign of Equestria from her childhood, until several children go missing. Meanwhile, she finds a terrifying secret in the basement of her barn...a barn which never had a basement before...
7619291
Who knows how many spoopy fics we'll see from all authors on this site for the Ween? :)
7619296
Yay! *hugs* Thank you! I've got some ideas of how I would write a prequel. Reader has to go in knowing they would see Sunset die at one point, so that'll be interesting. Probably a story on how she looks for immortality, but then has to face her own mortality instead.
Thank you for reading the story! :D
WHENEVER I read something that involves a cool character passing away it just makes me sad. Even though I'm not a fan of the death and stuff, it was a good story with a good closure.
7619915
Aww *hugs* Yeah, it can be really tough for me to read when a cool character passes away too. Like I told another reader, this was easier to write for me because I didn't have to write her death scene, since she was already passed away. But still, I wanted the type of ending you saw there.
Thank you for reading!
Holy nightmare fuel...
Have an upvote.
Gonna go sit with the lights on now.
7619941
Aww thank you! What an awesome compliment?
May I interest in another one of my horror stories as well?
The Wishmaker: Megan's Descent
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/337009/the-wishmaker-megans-descent
Megan Williams has been living for 20 years without any sign of Equestria from her childhood, until several children go missing. Meanwhile, she finds a terrifying secret in the basement of her barn...a barn which never had a basement before...
7619629
A more "natural" approach to editing, which is say reading it over again a few times and revising as much as necessary for the story to read and flow well, seems like it would be the better idea. Playing around with degrees of editing as a stylistic choice is very "experimental," but it's not really a good idea in terms of producing something that's readable. There are some problems that only become visible on a second pass or with a second set of eyes. There's a reason editing exists in the first place - most of the time, the first draft isn't really as good as it could be with a bit more time and care invested into filing down the rough edges.
Not usually a horror fan but at least Sunset was able to come to her senses and not murder the poor bastard.
7619966
Oh I can see how that would work a lot better. Rather than a complete revision, simply just focus on making minor edits to what has already been written (but edits which would be more substantial than just a spellcheck run, which is what I always do for my stories right now).
I really need to consider that "revising" doesn't have to mean a full overhaul of the stories. That's a misconception I've had for years which has been hard to break.
Thank you for the suggestion!
That was a pretty good story. I like it when a horror story has a more upbeat ending (well, in the sense that the protagonist escaped a bad fate, not that Sunset's death was upbeat at all of course ...)