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  • offline last seen Jul 26th, 2020

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Featured Sci-Fi Story: "Equus Metamorphosis" ( http://bit.ly/1YnanMR )

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Megan Williams has been to Equestria before. Twenty years prior, she made friends, fought enemies and lived happily. Two decades later, she waits for any sign that she can see her friends again.

When children start to go missing after making "wishes" to visit a magical place, Megan starts to investigate until she realizes the threat is closer to home than she expected. Her barn is holding an entrance, but to where, she has yet to find out. She won't go unprepared though...

Gore Warning: Megan fights back and fights viciously.

---You might like this if you also like:---
Silent Hill
Eternal Darkness
Sanity Effects in video games made into literary form
Megan Williams
Smart Protagonists
Protagonists Who Know How to Plan Not to Get Killed

Credit Edit 7/6/16:
A very special thank you to two people who helped inspire this story:
Doctor Disco helped edit the first half (thank you!)
BlueColton's horror stories, such as "Off the Road," inspired me to write this
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/297276/off-the-road

This story made it to the Featured Box on the day of its release: 7/6/2016

Other horror stories of mine:
(Fluttershy) "The Thing at the Edge of Sleep"
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/335108/the-thing-at-the-edge-of-sleep
(Marble Pie) "It Moves Below"
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/337815/it-moves-below

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 73 )

Smart Protagonists
Protagonists Who Know How to Plan Not to Get Killed

Yes that does in fact describe Megan quite well. And the warning is spot on, Megan killed Tirek without any hesitation so an older Megan definitely would not hesitate to do what needed to be done.

Ther Wishmaker Review
Very sci-fi, very thrilling, very mysterious. An awesome read and I hope to see more chapters added to it!

***spoilers ahead***
Love your intro. Really good set up! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlTRcMowLkc Good background music

“ A pair of yellow eyes shone in the darkness below.” Well that’s creepy AF.

So at first I didn’t like the idea of it all being a dream, but the fact that it’s about the actual barn near her house makes it ok lol.

“Dogs barked at shadows at the edge of the woods.” I hate it when animals bark at things we can’t see, drives me crazy. Nice touch lol. You got a good creepy vibe going here.

I’m loving the barn so far. Like it’s not just creepy, but the fact it was intentionally blocked off is awesome. God I’d hate to live there.

“the books in favor of* online forums and games”

Ooo the newspaper article was a nice touch! The missing cases add a lot of interest.

“It slowly creaked open as she put both hands on the barrel…” Do you mean she put both hands on the gun itself or...she had one hand around the trigger area and her other hand was put on the barrel?

I think it would help the story if you described how big the barn is. I don’t know if it’s like AJ’s barn, or like a smaller one for just a few horses.

Ooooooo I like how you added the paragraph from her dream too...awesome touch!

“Until she realized she didn't have a basement in her barn.” awwwwwwww! What the hell!? That’s super weird!

“I don’t know where I’m going,
but I know it’s the proof I need to show everyone” I like this because it makes you WANT her to go down.
Oooooo the description for how the ponything walks was badass, very creepy. God running from it with asthma...fuck that lol
Aw the end! THat was super fun to read! Hoping you’ll write more!

You have my attention. Now maintain it. This actually creeped the hell out of me, and that's saying something.

Hmmmm... Equal Parts Silent hill and MLP.

Seriously though I enjoyed the beginning. I like where this is going. You have earned a favorite, and a follow.

cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/69282261.jpg

7368800

Oh hey there! Sorry, I saw you had asked this very same question in a previous story but I got super sidetracked. I'm going to work on the next chapter of Equus Metamorphosis today :) It's called SYStem TERminus

i'm just take a guess at what caused this, alicorns are immortal, twily cracked, forced immortality spell, didn't work right, needs live flesh to keep moving.

7369518

Hi! I don't usually answer speculation with definite responses, but in this case, I'd like to say that I GUARANTEE this story isn't going down that route ;)

Just wanted you to understand you're in for a wild ride, and so is Megan. :P

Hm, any pony friendlies showing up in this story? I don't much care for the idea of "Ponies are the Bad Guy(s)" that seems to be the case in most human-protag pony stories. Can't Megan be the hero and save the ponies, too? (Isn't that kind of what she originally did, anyway...?)

7369894

Certain ponies are the bad guys here, but not who you might normally think when it comes to these types of stories.

There will be ponies showing up later that aren't horrific monstrosities bent on killing Megan and anyone she cares about. There will also be a special someone whom can help Megan during some very key moments...

Megan is alone in many ways, but not all...

7369115

Yay! Thank you! I'm really psyched about this story and I've loved Silent Hill ever since the first game came out :D


7368694

Thank you! Megan is definitely going to go through some serious shiz...

7368667

And it's gonna terrifying! And full of gore. And horror. GORROR!


7368665

All of the best and/or worst things happen at the Apple Family farm in the fimfiction world :P

In one multiverse, I'm sure the Apple Trees actually grow grenades. I wouldn't eat them if I were you.

7368647

Thank you! This is only the tip of the iceberg... :)


7368395

Megan killed Tirek cause Megan's a total MURDERBOSS!

*Megan rides by on a Harley with four sidecars and her four favorite ponies in each. The radio is playing a Metallica/MLP remix of the songs "The Smile Song" and "The Unforgiven"*

7370028

Megan killed Tirek cause Megan's a total MURDERBOSS!
*Megan rides by on a Harley with four sidecars and her four favorite ponies in each. The radio is playing a Metallica/MLP remix of the songs "The Smile Song" and "The Unforgiven"*

Okay that is not really accurate but it is funny. :rainbowlaugh:

Also it'll help you to remember than Megan is also very quick witted and adapts to new situations very quickly. That will really help things a long.

7368406

OHhh I really love that background music you choose! It fits well! :D

So at first I didn’t like the idea of it all being a dream, but the fact that it’s about the actual barn near her house makes it ok lol.

I'm very careful about including dream scenes in my stories. I try to make them unique and very integral to the plot in an obvious way because I don't it to feel like the dream didn't amount to anything, as it does with some movies.

“Dogs barked at shadows at the edge of the woods.” I hate it when animals bark at things we can’t see, drives me crazy. Nice touch lol. You got a good creepy vibe going here.

That's one of my favorite horror movie cliches. :) But it's also legitimately unsettling in real life to be next to an animal that barks at something you can't see.

I’m loving the barn so far. Like it’s not just creepy, but the fact it was intentionally blocked off is awesome. God I’d hate to live there.

I like implication so much in these stories. Silent Hill was fantastic at that, showing you the aftermath of something horrific and leaving it up to you to imagine what could be the cause of it all. What the human mind can create is often far more scary than reality.

I went back to fix at least one of those corrections you mentioned. Thank you!

Ooooooo I like how you added the paragraph from her dream too...awesome touch!

And that's how I connected the dream to reality! :D

“Until she realized she didn't have a basement in her barn.” awwwwwwww! What the hell!? That’s super weird!

I love "impossible" places that shouldn't exist. Especially the concept of a near-endless ladder into darkness. There's something very unsettling about things which don't obey the laws of physics.

“I don’t know where I’m going,

but I know it’s the proof I need to show everyone” I like this because it makes you WANT her to go down.

Human stubborness can be motivated by many things, but a desire to prove a truth is a big one.

Oooooo the description for how the ponything walks was badass, very creepy. God running from it with asthma...fuck that lol

Megan happened to have a problem that was a key threat in this fight against the thing. Interesting to recognize that...wonder what it could mean? :P


Thank you for reading it! You'll definitely see more horrific things even worse than the Sightless.

7370033

Hehe yep! I like exaggerations. But Megan really is a heck of a protagonist canon-wise just for her opposition to someone like Tirek :)

I'll definitely show you signs of her quick-wittedness later. Oh will I ever...

7370054 Oh man, she is bad ass and first class, yeah baby. Also if you get lost on how she might react in some situations you can message me and I'll see about giving you a hand with it. I've found that talking with other people helps to break mental log jambs sometimes.

*Slow clapping*

You finally made it back on the Featured Board! Whaaaat!?!?

Woop woo!!! After... what was it, 10 stories? You made it!

Congrats my good friend!

Congratulations!

*Standing ovation*

7370172

WAIT when did that happen?

Aww I didn't see it. Unless you mean the popular column? Or the feature section on the top of the page?

7370394

OH

WELL

YAYYYYYYY!

*hugs*

Gotta get it to stay up there longer next time with the next chapter :)

i love megan stories i wonder if her siblings shall help her later?

7372110

We shall see... :)

I hope they're ready to be as prepared as Megan is for the horrors below the barn...

Will you continue writing this?
Because this is really cool!

My curiosity is piqued. This is certainly dark, but I am very curious to find out WTF happened to Equestria.

7374395

Thank you! Oh yes, I will! I just jump around between stories. Today I will focus on a science fiction story, but I've also been brainstorming more wonderful things about this one :)

7374947

It's going to be a tough, long dark journey for Megan, so she'll discover the answers at the same time you do. I'll tell you this though: there's a very specific cause that may not be what Megan suspected...Stay tuned :D

We get Bacon Hair Pony in this too?! YEs. yes I do believe I approve.

7394631
7394485

If anyone knows about dealing with monstrous enemies and their own darkness, I believe it is Sunset Shimmer. :P

Thanks for checking out the story! :D

I'm getting a real 'Silent Hill 4' vibe, with how Megan seems to be able to go back and forth between the real world and the 'Otherworld'

Also:

'Harry Townshed'

Hah!

7395576

YES! You got like THREE references there! Harry Mason, Henry Townshend and the fact that the back-and-forth is very much SH4! *high fives you into space*

Thanks for reading! Gosh, your one comment energized me. I wanna continue this tonight :D

I've only a single question for you. What happens when an idea is destroyed?

Oh dear... Sunset.... -rubs chin in thought- something stealing children in the night.... I get this feeling that Celestia or Luna are trying to reach out to Megan for help... and so they sent Sunset to find her. Buuutt... -frowns- I'm not sure. This is incredibly interesting. The doors thing really more reminds me of Eternal Darkness, I dunno I'm really digging this so keep it up man.

7396952

I've only a single question for you. What happens when an idea is destroyed?

This isn't really a spoiler, but for those who didn't ask the question, they might not want to know :P

This is actually going to be a rather indirect response, since I think you're trying to ask me a question about the psychological aspects of the story without me giving away too much. :P It depends on the idea and whose idea it is. Let's say that there's an idea that represents fear. Destroying something like that which constantly exists in the human and pony mind wouldn't get rid of it forever. But the amount of fear suppressed would be proportional to the strength of the idea destroyed. Also, destroying a negative idea like fear, hate or paranoia helps re-establish the sanity of the individual who destroyed it and any who helped destroy it. It's a constant fight back and forth between the Terror and the sanity of those fighting for their lives.

7397206

Oh dear... Sunset.... -rubs chin in thought- something stealing children in the night.... I get this feeling that Celestia or Luna are trying to reach out to Megan for help... and so they sent Sunset to find her. Buuutt... -frowns- I'm not sure. This is incredibly interesting. The doors thing really more reminds me of Eternal Darkness, I dunno I'm really digging this so keep it up man.

If you wanted to know what it would be like to combine Eternal Darkness with Silent Hill 2 and My Little Pony generations 1 and 4, then that's what this story is. :) Both Eternal Darkness and Silent Hill are about psychological horror, but Eternal Darkness has a lot more of the ancient cyclopean beasts and hopeless dread caused by humans trying to understand their place in the universe shared with ancient god-like beings while Silent Hill has more of the personal demons and path to self-discovery.

We've yet to establish who is sending for help (if any) and who or what is behind this issue with Equestria and Megan/Sunset's challenges. We do know that Twilight Sparkle is somehow involved from the clues Megan found in the image of the little girl's room in the news article online in Chapter 1.

I'm so pumped about this story I really want to write another chapter tonight, but we'll see. This one requires me to be in a special mood to accomplish it :)

Loving this so much! The feel of what you have written is great! I cannot wait for you to get in the right mood to write more! Kudos! Like and fave!

7407288

Thank you so much for your compliments! :D I actually have 2800 words written of Chapter 3. I was about to take in one direction and thought I should sit back and let the ideas work themselves out a little more, because I want to make things more complex than what I usually envision on a first-pass of a concept. So chances are very good you will see a new chapter by the end of the week.

I tend to write after reading really good MLP dark/horror fics on this site.

Know of any to recommend? :P

7407353
Eh, I would have to have my computer to let you know that. Buuut:
Crisis: Equestria. I don't have the link as I do this from my phone. It is on Equestria daily (I think), and is not complete ,but is a very good adventure story with some very dark tones and themes. Very well written. It is close to wrapping up from what I have heard but the last few chapters have had a year plus between postings. Just a fair warning if you are looking for complete stories.

This is reminding me of Silent Hill just a little, and I just narrated the whole thing to see if I can handle a reading. Good news for you is that I can, but I'd rather wait until the story is complete for a reading. Excellent so far, and definitely will be watching for updates!

7506943

Thank you! These past two weeks I moved, ended up working on job applications, found some info on being a real estate agent and am now working towards getting my license. I keep wanting to write an update, but I'm stuck in that way negative feedback loop where i'm nervous about how long it's been without an update, so I don't update, but then I SHOULD update because I haven't updated, but i'm nervous and so on.

And thank you for reading through this! I look forward to hearing what it sounds like whenever I finish this story, which is gonna be a while. :P

Every time I check in on this story, it keeps getting better. Probably one of the more gripping stories on FimFiction I've read in awhile.

Out of curiosity, when do you think you might be ready to publish the next chapter? Its so good!

7522486

Thank you for the compliments! I want to start this again after I finish some classes I have to take in September. Most likely gonna write another chapter in October, early in the month and then continuing throughout the month with more of my stories, because I'll be done with classes by then. I have to pass these darn tests :P

I wrote out part of chapter 3 a while back, but wasn't satisfied, so I didn't publish yet until I'm sure of where I want to really take the story. I know of the ultimate goal and some key twists, but I explore it just as fresh as you guys do :)

This is incomplete? Almost seemed like it had a fitting open ending.

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