XVI. To Love at all is to be Vulnerable
Ponies were complex. Twilight had accepted this in much the same way she had accepted Pinkie’s strangeness and her premonitions of disaster--by beating her head against the unknowable until she was too dizzy to continue and then conceding in frustration. The world was a big place and it was getting bigger and brighter all the time. Also stranger.
That wasn’t to say that Twilight had just given up her dogged pursuit of truth. Far from it--because the more and more she found her orderly world vision shaken up, the more she found value and deeper fulfilment in her study. A world that was simply a machine could only hold the attention for so long. A world that was a mystery, on the other hand? What more could a true scholar, a true scientist, a true mage ask for beyond a world ripe for the brightening light of study?
She thought about it a lot these days. Until recently, her observations of ponies had mostly been external--watching other ponies, talking to other ponies, taking mental notes on observed behavior. Only after the wings showed up had she really considered turning the lamp of discovery on herself.
It was a slow process. It took dedication and a certain degree of fortitude--not simply to endure what was uncovered but to actually face it. Even the good things needed a bit of will to wrestle with--and she was learning to love it step by step. It felt as if every discovery meant more now that it was hard-won, like planting an outpost in hostile wilds.
So, it was both frustrating and delightful that the best Twilight could do was conclude that ponies were complex. She didn’t understand them and she didn’t quite understand herself half the time. But it was nice to have the opportunity to understand.
None of this went through her mind as she lay still, breathing as quietly as she could. It was in the background, informing the warring emotions within her, but what actually passed through her mind was much simpler.
I’m still in Celestia’s bed. And we both--
Twilight proceeded to quietly panic. Most ponies would be surprised to learn she was capable of this, but when you spent most of your life in out of libraries, quiet panic was actually an essential life skill. In fact, Twilight’s more noisy panic was actually rather pleasant, and an indulgence that her friends would probably never understand. Except Pinkie, who could at least appreciate the joy of noise.
Pinkie in fact commented that this was, to an extent, the case, and that also Twilight should just move already.
The fact that she did this from within Twilight’s head was slightly concerning. Or, it was, after Twilight had realized that she was no longer alone in her own mind and had doubled her still very considerate, quiet panic.
There were others, presently. She was aware of them, and yet didn’t… hear them? It felt as if, one by one, ponies had slid into bed around her, and yet they brought with them no sensation of touch, no bodily warmth. She felt surrounded, a bit crowded, even with the comfortable distance between herself and Celestia. All of it was overwhelming. Twilight could hardly think with all of them talking over each other.
Within her, her six closest friends talked among themselves in a flurry, but one presence was quiet. The Archmage--no, what had Celestia called her? The Faithful Student. She did not join their conversation. Twilight imagined them all huddled together, whispering excitedly, while the Student looked on, not exactly hostile but feeling out of sorts.
Until Pinkie pulled her into their little circle, inviting her to share the excitement. There was plenty to be excited for, after all. The Court’s first day with Twilight.
Also, the whole being-in-bed-with-Celestia thing. Which Twilight realized was still a part of her reality and which she was about to embark upon a third round of panic before their collective voices calmed her.
They spoke with a unified voice, then. It was okay--this, they were saying, is okay. It was good, and today was a good day.
I don’t know how to handle so many of you, Twilight thought. Even with her eyes squeezed shut and her body still, she had found their presence so heavy. Will it always be so disorienting?
No, they promised. It would not be. She would learn to live as the others did, and they would teach her. Step by step, until at last she walked without hesitation, they would show her how to live in a new way. Applejack, there to aid her discernment, Rarity to fortify her in her confusion. Rainbow and Pinkie to pull her back from her worry. Fluttershy to keep the hearth of her spirit warm. Spike to keep her on task.
The dizziness would fade. That was their promise, until only Fluttershy was speaking--could she call it speaking?--in her head. Fluttershy hummed and spoke, alternating her delivery but delivering the same message: wake up, Twilight, and open your eyes. Celestia is awake. Twilight felt a momentary dismay at that. She wasn’t ready! But the Inner Court’s Fluttershy chased the feeling away.
The roar of the Inner Court stirred a bit as she opened her eyes. The sun was slowly peeking into it’s shepherd’s chambers, casting everything in the warm, red half-light of dawn. Celestia’s room was ornate, but not in the way one would expect of a ruler of her stature. It was ornate in that she had chosen to surround her bed with beautiful things, useful things that wore their beauty easily and almost carelessly. The paintings on the far wall were of quiet, pastoral scenes, not unlike Ponyville’s sights. But she did not catalogue the rest.
Instead, her attention was drawn by movement beside her. Twilight dared to look.
Celestia had turned over. Their eyes met. Twilight was sure the surprise on Celestia’s face was mirrored in her own.
“Um. Hi,” Twilight blurted, because that seemed like the best thing to do.
Celestia stared for a second, and Twilight squirmed under her gaze. Then she shook with mirth as she hid her giggles from Twilight with a hoof.
“Hello, Twilight,” she said when the laughter had worn off and a red-faced Twilight had re-emerged from the blankets. “I’m glad to see you awake. How are you feeling?”
Twilight pursed her lips. “Confused. It’s like… being stuffed into a crowded carriage. We’re all going the same direction, but it’s harder to think.”
Celestia nodded. She moved her hoof closer, and then seemed to hesitate.
“We… we should probably talk about this,” Celestia said after both of them had looked at that hoof for a moment. “This being you and I. In my bed, no less.”
“It’s weird.”
“Exceedingly so, yes.”
Twilight took a deep breath, and felt strangely. Applejack was on one side and Rarity on the other. Honesty, said the first; be open, said the second. So she did both.
“I love you,” Twilight said. “I think I have for awhile. I stopped thinking of it that way because I didn’t think I had a shot, I guess. The idea that you might reciprocate that feeling was so good that it felt unrealistic.”
“Do you feel that way now?”
“Mostly, I’m trying to figure out if I’m still dreaming,” Twilight said with an attempt at a smile that fell flat. Impulse took her, and she reached out to touch Celestia’s hoof with her own. They stayed that way.
Celestia smiled. Twilight thought her smile was like the sun. The Inner Court was divided on whether or not this sentiment was silly or not. The Faithful Student in general was not a fan of simile.
“I assure you that this is no dream.” She bit her lip, as if putting words in order.
Was her court commenting? Had they always been considering her?
“But it is as nice as one,” Celestia said at last. “Twilight, I have never had my sister’s unrestrained energy. But we do share a romantic streak, so you may imagine that this is perhaps not how I had imagined things playing out when I said that I love you.”
Twilight’s breath caught. She wanted to say something. She wanted to hear her say those words over and over.
“You do?”
“Yes,” Celestia said. “I love you. And, as absurd as it is to ask this from my own bed, I would like to court you officially.”
“Officially?” Twilight quailed. What did that mean? Court? She had no idea what that entailed, and officially? She had sudden visions of stoic press conferences.
Celestia raised an eyebrow and put on a smirk. “So you would prefer that I merely be your paramour? Twilight, I’m not sure if I’m appalled or impressed at your audacity.”
Twilight flushed. “No, I didn’t mean… ugh.” She rolled her eyes. “I kind of understand dating. It works the same, right? Or… like, I don’t know. Are we marefriends now?”
Celestia was trying not to laugh. It was obvious on her face. Twilight wasn’t sure if that irked her or delighted her. The Court murmured and again found itself more or less split down the middle.
“Well, nopony has asked to court me yet, so--”
“Will you go out with me?” Twilight said it quickly, almost all as one word.
Celestia giggled. “There, that wasn’t so hard.” Then she sighed. “Of course, I’m saying that to myself as much as you. Yes. Yes, I will, Twilight.”
Twilight beamed. Also she forgot to breathe for a few seconds, but that was inconsequential.
“Courting is a bit different from what you’ve seen, I’m sure,” Celestia continued. “Though I daresay it shall be a bit more your, ah, speed.” Another little titter. “I’m an old fashioned nag, really. Remember that.”
“I’ll try,” Twilight said, breathless. “I’m really not sure what to do now.”
And she wasn’t. It had not, in all of her joyful rereading of letters and writing of the same, every occurred to her that this would happen outside of dreams. The court urged a half dozen courses of action, but they kept their voices to whispers within her mind. Her own thoughts still held the field--and most of them were frazzled and concerning Celestia being beautiful and how nice it might be to scoot a little closer.
Celestia smiled. “Breakfast might be a good place to start. The castle staff will have pancakes on hand, just for you. Mead is quite excited. He’s been talking about your visit all week.”
Twilight smiled, distracted for a moment. “Mead! Oh, wow… I still remember my first morning here. I called crepes--”
“Creepies,” Celestia said, and they laughed.
Twilight, lifted by that sound, moved a little closer. “I, um. It’s a bit early for breakfast. I was thinking--”
Celestia cocked an eyebrow at her. “Moving fast? More and more surprises, Madame Sparkle.”
Twilight shook her head, knowing her face was red. “No! Just… just thought I could, um.” She sighed. “Ugh. Talking is hard.”
“Sometimes, yes.”
“It’s kind of awkward to be all the way over here. I wanted to know if I could get closer. I thought it, um, might be nice if we were a bit closer.”
Celestia smiled and Twilight suddenly found herself being pulled into an embrace. She froze, but when the warmth was all around her she found herself relaxing against Celestia. She was soft--she always had been. Twilight nuzzled under her chin and sighed happily.
Celestia hummed. “We have an hour before breakfast. You’ve had a long night. Would you like me to wake you when it’s time?”
“Maybe.” Twilight’s voice was muffled against her teacher--no, she wasn’t that anymore, was she?--against Celestia’s coat. “So, courting?”
“Mm. Well, I would of course expect you to come calling from time to time.”
“I could do that.”
“I’m sure your friend Rarity could help you make yourself presentable,” Celestia said as she began to softly stroke the part of Twilight’s back between her wings, drawing out a little happy groan. “And, of course, I would expect letters. Very important to the whole enterprise, letters.”
“Can definitely do that.”
“Perhaps, if you prove yourself a proper suitor, I’m sure my sister would consent to unsupervised walks in the gardens,” she said and snickered. “Though I am sure she will be merciless to you.”
“Probably can’t handle that, but I’m sure I’ll try.”
Celestia froze, suddenly, and then groaned. “Cadance will be unsufferable for decades.”
Twilight laughed and nuzzled her neck. “Yes, but it won’t be so bad. Cadance is fun.”
“She is an upstart,” groused the princess. “Who will torture me with how right she was with infinite smugness.”
“You could always remind her that Spike was the one that saved the empire if she gets out of hand,” Twilight offered.
“Oh, that’s delightfully evil. I’ll keep that under advisement.”
“Happy to help.”
They were silent after that for a time. Celestia continued to stroke her back. Twilight continued to nuzzle into her shoulder and neck, content. There would be words, here and there, but neither of them felt the need for conversation just yet. Let it wait. Beyond a few soft comments on Twilight’s attempt at preening--poor, but Celestia smugly offered her assistance down the line--and a few happy murmurs, there was nothing.
Twilight carefully dislodged herself and looked up. Celestia’s eyes met her own.
“Think they know already? Luna, at least? I mean, dreams are sort of her thing.”
“Yes, much like composure is mine. I honestly don’t know. We’ll have to see.”
“I just realized I’m going to have to tell my friends. Rarity is going to give birth to a calf in the middle of Ponyville.”
Celestia chortled. “Oh, do break the momentous news carefully. That sounds unpleasant.”
Twilight kept looking, her eyes tracing Celestia’s lips. Hesitantly, she reached up and then stopped halfway.
Celestia made up the distance, and they kissed. It chased all of the thoughts out of Twilight’s head at once. She tasted of paradise.
When they broke away, Celestia was radiant. “It’s a good start,” she said. “I can’t wait to see what you’re like in a few decades.” She laughed and then kissed Twilight again and again, until time seemed soft and malleable, as if Twilight could ignore it forever. And she would.
Celestia was holding her, kissing her, never pushing too much but always pursuing. She felt hot but not unbearably so, caught but in a way she couldn’t help but find perfect.
She found that she agreed. It was as good a start as any.
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Wonderful story. But i kinda want sort of epilogue, where is Twilight talk with Celestia*s court!
The real delight here is your writing, not us mere mortals I'm afraid.
YES!!! An excellent point to leave off, though it does leave one wanting more. But I digress, if this is all we get, it's still been a wonderful ride and I'm thankful you brought it to us. Well done, and I wish you all the bet in future works.
Stay Brony my friend.
...and yes, finding that vid took a bit, but I had to pair it with that line!!
I want the other Mane 5 and Spike to meet their doppelgangers in Twilight's head. I can already see real RD wanting Twilight to build an actual suit of magic armor for her.
... I want more. Epilogue. Epilogue. Epilogue.
7241246
66.media.tumblr.com/8bd9f820286b404de7360bff0c2821f5/tumblr_o7aun9sMQ91uevy0zo1_1280.gif
THE END.
told you i'd have end curtains
7241288 You have kept your solemn word and won your place of renown, brave warrior
Great ending, thanks for the story! Don't know if you do sequels at all but you've definitely put together an amazing world and universe for it. I think I will have quite some fun going through your stories, seems I haven't really read any of them yet. One of the best feelings is finding a great author for the first time.
7241364 I LOVE finding new authors. I usually binge read their gallery in its entirety because I read fast and I'm not happy unless I've got somethin' to read.
You still need to write an epilogue chapter with both luna and cadence gloating at them and grilling them both.
I'd love to see a sequel to this. One that explores there new relationship of course and them telling everyone but also with a time skip. Twilight dealing with the loss of her real life friends as her inner court still resembles them, all 4 of there inner courts meeting perhaps, or i don't know how about the fact her inner court has access to info from the future that was never addressed!!!! ... threes a lot you could explore here.
7241286 That sounds like The Doctor, but a little more grandiose.
Excellent conclusion. While I'd like to see how Luna and Cadance react to the budding relationship, and how Twilight's friends deal with having doppelgangers in her head, that would all merely be sprinkles on the icing.
I am sated. For now.
Loved it wished there was more. Is there going to be a sequel?
Excellent story, from start to finish. I genuinely hope to see a sequal come of this.
Such a delightful, complex story with such a warm, happy ending. Marvelous little bit of world-building laced in, too! So happy to have been able to read this to completion.
Thank you for sharing this with us!
I think many of us would agree a sequel would be most welcome. I would love to see how Twilight handles her friends and her Court at the same time.
sequel nao please?
I really did like your story --- Cynewulf. You wrote it quite well and I loved the concept of the court you presented. While I would be interested to see where a sequel might go, I wont be surprised if you don't follow up with one. Too many possibles of what the future might be. Bravo though. Time to see what else you have written.
I'm going to put this here as it pertains to this story for the most part. I said earlier that it didn't look like I've read any of your other stories and mostly that was true, apparently I did read one of your other stories; The Love Song of T. Sparkle. The story was good iirc but a little on the sad side, as most of your stories tend to have a slightly sad or dark undertone to them even when not enough to justify a tag. I don't want to say that it's your signature or anything but it does seem to be the kind of stories you write. Though I'm not much for sad or dark myself see :D
Regardless having read a bunch of your other stories now they are all very good and most of them I've enjoyed a lot but this story felt like it really had a different tone. I can't articulate it very well but it's definitely there, or rather the sad/dark undertone is not there, or it's a different kind of tone I guess? So yea I really hope this won't be the only foray you make into this universe. Thanks again for writing the stories!
What can I say that I've not already said? I loved it.
...oh, here's one! Having friends with her at literally all times to keep her from flying off the handle can only be a good thing for the rest the world around her. I wonder if her external friends will notice the difference?
7242365 the vast majority of what I've done falls in the sad/dark with hope category. I'll be honest and say that this is the first time I've had FUN writing in a long time. Fun beyond mere satisfaction, or beyond mere enjoyment. Usually I know where I'm going in my head, and the whole thing is a dream. This I had no idea, no plan, ran out of dream in chapter 3, a lighthearted and speculative tone... It was an adventure.
7242479 Pinkie loves it. AJ and RD thinks it's weird but eh whatever. Fluttershy wishes she had friends in her head. Rarity doesn't care literally at all who cares about that, WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL HER YOU WERE SAPPHICALLY INVOLVED WITH THE GOD EMPRESS OF PONY KIND what do you even wear on dates with her
This is the first time I remember ever having people ask for a sequel and it's a bewildering but nice feeling to a bewildering but deeply fun adventure.
I have to say man I would love to see a sequel to this, maybe get the reactions from Twilight's friends, and family, as well as the general populace of Equestria. It would be VERY interesting if you ask me.
And so the good ship Twilestia sets sail once again. Ah, I love it so. Really good story, masterful work of prose even by this site's often high standards. I would absolutely love to see a sequel.
Good fic! I was a little iffy on the whole "Inner Court" idea at first but I started warming up to it as the story progressed. I liked the exploration of the different princesses' courts and how they all differed from each other based on each princesses' domain. I'm a big Twilestia fan but I'm glad that you didn't make the story exclusively about their romantic relationship. It was certainly a big part of the story but I felt that it was just one aspect(heh) of the overall drama. It did take me a few chapters to really get into the story; I felt it was overly verbose at times. But once you started expanding on the main ideas behind the story I became hooked. I was a little afraid that this would steer more into the typical "I live forever and all my friends are dead" territory but I feel that you wrote an ending that mostly avoided that. The ending was super satisfying to me and I didn't really guess how things would turn out until right before everything resolved. Real good stuff, definitely a fan of this fic.
nyeeeeeeTwilestiacuddles
This is one of those stories that managed to draw me in and keep my attention... mostly, and I read it largely in one sitting, and I thought the world-building was fabulous, yet at the same time I have difficulty calling it a really good story. At times, I feel like there was simply too much of some stuff and too little of other stuff. For example, a few times I felt completely lost when you were describing the settings, something I think ought to have been a core aspect of this fic--and yet at other times we have some 4000~ words of the three princesses giving one another drunken speeches. I admired them, I liked them, yet at the same time I can't help but think they're unnecessary. The story stops for them to speak, when what they're saying probably could have been more organically written into dialogue or scenes. Maybe.
Another issue I have is that the conflict between Twilight and her two choices, false though they may be, is... weak. I have difficulty imagining an alicorn Twilight who somehow wouldn't chose her friends over... over what, exactly? I confess that I'm a big hazy on what the Archmage is supposed to represent that Twilight isn't already doing. She's already driven and purposeful, and she does so with her friends by her side. She loses nothing and would gain nothing if she had ultimately chosen the Archmage.
I suppose in some sense it feels like you set up this massive, trying trial, yet the trial turned out to be barely anything at all. Hardly the sort of thing that would cause Cadance to cry for two days and whatever else. Of course, I realize she didn't have the same trial, but I think you get what I'm saying.
Finally, it seems to me that it isn't quite clear what the purpose of the story is, in a certain regard. You start the story off and largely write it in the point of view of Celestia', and despite Twilight going on trial here, I can't help but feel like Celestia is also on trial. Yet the story ends without ever really returning to Celestia's point of view or ever really doing anything with her character. To put this another way, you could have cut most, if not all, of the Celestia scenes out of this story and just used what you had for Twilight and it would end in the same way. Does Noonday ever come back, for example? Does Celestia ever grow her inner court, as it's been hinted and suggested throughout the story? Does Celestia ever become... not boring?
I had this impression that Celestia was in a bit of a rut with her life too, not just with regards to Twilight but in a more general sense. She even notes that she's the only one of the alicorns without a 'child' like aspect in her court. And, indeed, her court is the smallest and least of the three we see (Luna has four or five aspects and a whole citadel for her court, and Cadance has five aspects and it's implied her court goes all the way to Canterlot and beyond.
I like the story, it just... I suppose it falls a bit flat for me, in the end.
While I would heartily with the people that have said they want an epilogue to the story, a follow-up, a sequel; I think you've ended this at a perfect moment. I read through this in a single sitting, it was a wonderful path to travel for a few hours. You've done a glorious job with the characters and the story bring the user in, keeps them interested. It's always a sad thing to have a story end; much like the all too brief lives of Celestia's ponies in this story. However, it drives us to find new paths to explore, new characters to meet.
In short; bravo sir, and thank you for sharing with us.
Goodness. I'm surprised I haven't found your stuff sooner. I think I found that big epic of yours long ago but decided it had too many major characters/was too slow paced for me, among other things.
I'm not typically much of a short story guy but I'll be taking a look at some of your other longer stories, for sure.
I enjoyed this story and was considering leaving a critique... but I'm lazy and pretty much agree with everything CinnamonSwirl said. You're clearly a great writer, but like most longer fanfiction, I think this could have benefited a lot from better structuring. While I'm willing to give a pass to some potentially unessential bits like the speeches - because good authors are allowed to write lengthy asides sometimes if they're fun (I'm looking at you Tolkien) and because they did work to establish Celestia's character at least - the way this story about Celestia ended with a climax about Twilight was just a little bizarre to me. It's like if The Dark Knight had ended with Alfred suddenly rising up, overcoming his demons and defeating the Joker. Like, what? That's not how stories work.
It would be giving the Archmage a little too much credit to call her a strawman, since I'm not even sure what she was advocating for exactly - Twilight rejecting her court entirely? rejecting alicornhood? rejecting her friends? - and her sinful temptations weren't tempting at all since they weren't preying on any major flaw of Twilight's, because Twilight didn't have any major flaws in this story, because Twilight wasn't the main character.
Celestia was the main character. And the ending was a bit disappointing, not even because it was bad or poorly written per se, but because it basically abandoned Celestia's arc and didn't resolve a lot of the story problems that the story had presented itself as being about. (Where the heck did Noon go? She was cool. Does Celestia really only have two members of her court now? Is Celestia really boring? Is that a bad thing? What does her court think about this climactic conclusion? Is Celestia's court going to be courteous and chaste with Twilight's court, or skip straight to the sloppy makeout sessions?)
...I guess I did kind of critique things a little bit, there. Anyway. I saw a lot of creativity, knowledge, and talent in this story, and while I think it could have benefited significantly from better structuring, it's still one of the best Twilestia stories that I've read to date.
...Of course, it was really not about the romance as much as it was a sort of pseudo-character-study of Celestia, and most of the Twilestia stories of appreciable length that I've seen have been trash, but still. I enjoyed it. I certainly wouldn't mind seeing a sequel, and it would give you a chance to finish Celestia's character arc while having her do the kissy-kissy smooch-smooch with Princess Plum. Maybe even ship some of the other characters while you're at it?
FaithfulStudent/Dawn OTP!!! ~ Sable
I'm not one to demand a sequel just for comedy sake...
But goddamned if I'm not tempted. You glorious son of a bitch, you. That was beautiful.
I really enjoyed reading this, and I love the idea of the Inner Courts. Like many of the others, I'm hoping you find the time and inspiration for a sequel!
A lot of others said it already, but I couldn't just leave without saying it myself:
Wow, that such a great, downright amazing ride! A beautifully crafted tale.
Thank you oh so very much!
I love your writing style, and a little CS Lewis never goes astray. Unless its his SF works, those I can leave dusty on the shelves.
I think I agree somewhat with CinnamonSwirltheBreaded and Sable Tails: the story was initially written from Celestia's perspective, and then drifted at the end so that we lost focus on anything except the establishment of Twilight's court and Twilestia's relationship. It needs a bit of tightening up and refocusing (however drunken alicorn boasting must be retained at all costs.)
Celestia's issues with her own court were, if not swept under the rug, then maybe pushed behind the potted plants and neglected. Twilight choosing the aspects of all her friends was never in doubt, so the twist of inviting Archy (lol) to be included was the only real point of completion in the penultimate chapters before concluding the story with the relationship. Which solved some of Celestia's issues, but not all. What actually happened to Noon? Why was Celestia's court so small (and even smaller now) compared to the cast of thousands for the rest of her alicorn sorority?
I can't help but feel that an epilogue may well be required to properly polish this one off.
I have to say, that was absolutely delightful. At the start, it almost seemed a bit pretentious. But, as the literary references came fast and furious, I was joyful to find that any inferred pretension on my part was actually a deep respect for certain types of prose and a boundless love of literature.
And, of course, TwiLestia is bestia.
I really enjoyed it, thank you very much for writing it.
I need to go smooch my girlfriend. You make kisses sounds super great.
7288621 they are one of mankind's great achievements
Maybe it's because I've been awake far longer than any sane person should be and my brain is veering into the melodramatic, but this whole thing seemed very profound. Sweet and humorous in good measure as well, but there is definitely a depth here. I don't really know, but I will say that this was a damn good read. Thank you for allowing me the pleasure, and damn you because I spent all night reading it and now I have work in two hours(because that is totally not my own fault).
My main criticism is that we didn't return to Celestia's court. There was still words to be said there.
7296003 what sort of things?
Well, this was an adventure.
In retrospect, it might have been best if I'd commented as I read each chapter rather than waiting until the end. I marathoned from chapter 1 until 4am last night, then finished the last two chapters today.
This...was a lot of things. What it was in the beginning was not what it was in the end. Truthfully, there was a lot of, well...babbly filter in the middle. This started out seeming to be an intense examination of the implications of immortality, shown from what appeared to be a decidedly non-hum,an perspective. That was fascinating. But then you kind of spent a bunch of chapters just making Celestia out to seem like a clueless buffoon. Which was unfortunate, I think. If anypony, it made the most sense for Celestia to be the one with a good grip on immortality, not Luna or Cadance. But I suppose having Celestia be the calm and collected one wasn't compatible with the Celestia+Twilight dynamic you were going for.
But then the story took a turn into...something else entirely. The direction you took with the internal "courts" didn't make much sense to me. Especially so the decision that Twilight faced. Dividing yourself into multiple personalities...I just don't see how that's a useful coping mechanism. On first glance, the Archmage's proposition seemed to make far more sense. "Don't have a court. Be unified in who you are." That makes a lot sense, doesn't it? And inf act, that was ultimately what Twilight chose. To embrace all aspects of herself.
Why was being unified with them in the first place the wrong choice?
What's the benefit of diving herself up into multiple aspects and having them talk to each other, rather than simply by a singular whole in the first place?
By having "no court" that seemed to be what the Archmage was proposing. But instead, somehow "hold no court" was somehow twisted into "ignore the majority of your self and singularly pursue one aspect of yourself."
I don't see how that makes sense. From having seen Celestia and Luna, clearly the "court" is a difficult coping mechanisms that doesn't make things any easier. I agree with Twilight that it was a false choice. "Bury aspects of you who are" and "divide yourself up into a bunch of aspects and argue with each other every day" weren't the only options.
Unity of self was an option. And, again...you kind of had her choose that, but in a way that didn't make sense to me.
And ultimately, you abandoned the early several chapters philosophical take on immortality. You totally dropped those plot threads. Why? You had a lot of very interesting stuff going on, but you abandoned it in favor of "Celestia is an emotional wreck who can't deal with her own feelings" and chapter after chapter of dream sequence that presumably was supposed to be a metaphor...but that ultimately came across like you'd forgotten that it was supposed to be about something.
This story started out deep. Why did you abandon that in favor of what it became?
This could indeed use a sequel or epilogue to finish things up.
A very enjoyable read. Thanks to the author for sharing it.
I do idly wonder how Twilight would react to meeting Celestia's inner council. Between Dusk and Dawn I can't help but think that Twilight would be humorously awkward.
I have gratley enjoyed this story, I even find myself wanting more. How will their time together play out? How will Twilight react to meeting the council's of the other princess? Will Rarity really have a calf?!
I have many questions and more and do hope to have them answered in a sequel.
7375107 yes that is correct.
At least it looks cool. In like, a tacky over the top rainbow dash way
All in all, I enjoyed this a lot.
A question -- how would Starlight feel about all this, once she discovers Twilight's inner multiplicity? I think her perspective of the whole thing might be interesting.
7392188 not really sure where you got that impression. Regret isn't really madness. If anything, Celestia is very stable and basically everyone here is on the upswing.
7457106 they are not related.
Like most of my stories, they can be considered alternatives to one another--a shared lore across a variety of realities.
7457661 Ah, the "after TNIP has occurred" in the author's note threw me off.
7457731 sorry bout that. Was referring to a comment made shortly after the story ended
eeeeeee
I took way too long to finish this. But between the psychological curiosities and Twilight and Tia managing to spit it out, it was worth it.