• Member Since 4th Nov, 2014
  • offline last seen 10 hours ago


The eternally in-progress writer


This is the story of a mare named Pinkie Pie.

At least, it would be, if she would allow such a story to be told. But she may end up disregarding the narrative... or worse.

Originally featured on 8/28/15!
Goodreads entry~

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 109 )

First view, like, and comment! :pinkiehappy:

I enjoyed this story.
Do you think it might go over some people's heads if they don't know about the other Parable that inspired this one?

This was adorable. I was cracking up the whole time with Pinkie's random nature. You know you're random when the author of your story can't even decide where the story goes. Nicely done! :ajsmug::rainbowwild:

As a fan of The Stanley Parable, I enjoyed this story greatly.

But at the same time, I'm somewhat saddened by the ending. Every time something bad happened to either Stanley or the narrator, I got miserable fast. The "narrative contradiction" part brings up particularly tearjerking memories.


But you'll still die like the rest of us: alone. :twilightsmile:

This deserves a round of applause! I was actually thinking that it was real. Until it was now finished i was like,
"OH COME ON!!" :raritycry:
Anyways, I give this story a 10/10!
plus like and favorite

Well, I found it...funny.
It was short, I hoped for another epic story, but it still was interesting. I read this in the morning when my bus to school was still half an hour away, so I had time to read this and it made my day. Noize

wish Cheerilee’s friend’s uncle’s former roommate’s young son a happy first birthday

Lone Star? Is that you?

Onto the story:

I'm disappointed.

There were no broom closets. :rainbowwild:


6367718 With how I generally run long projects, not this quickly. Given Feedback was a seven-month development cycle, I didn't even publish it until I was three months in.
Glad you enjoyed the story all the same. :pinkiesmile:

6366977 I'd say knowing the other Parable isn't required to enjoy the story~ :pinkiehappy:

6367365 Yeah, the ending is a little bit melancholy. :pinkiesad2:
But, I think, like any good parable, there's a moral to be had. Maybe.

And here I was thinking I would run out of Pinkie Pie emoticons. :pinkiesick:

6367875 :pinkiecrazy: you missed two, and now she is coming for you...:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiegasp:

I request an extra chapter where the second best Pinkie showdown continues.

I'm rooting for Dash.

6367735 Didn't know how to put in the .gif file in here, but this works too. :pinkiehappy:

Talking about Pinkie Pie breaking the fourth wall :trollestia:

6367875 May I ask you if you have any future plans for FiMfictions? Or will you go with the flow and write when you feel like it.

As I could see where this was going, I automatically read this entire story in the voice of the Stanley Parable narrator.

(Which says something for the game, since I have seen one trailer and mabe a couple of reviews and it's already lodged in my head...)

Can't wait to see new stories from you. :pinkiesmile:

6368645 You're not the only one who did that.. :derpytongue2:

6367867 Yeah I was also hoping that there were broom closets. :trixieshiftleft:

Oh, did you get the broom closet ending? The broom closet ending was my favorite!

Is the game worth getting for 15 bucks? I downloaded the demo and it just confused the hell out of me. :twilightoops:

6369602 dunno lemme check steam..
It costs, P419.95

6369655 Not sure what that currency is, but it's US$15. Based on the reviews, I guess it's worth it.

Well, that's just typical Pinkie Pie; she gotta break the fourth wall a couple times to satisfy herself


I'll probably be playing it by ear. I return to University in a week and Fall is typically the busiest part of my year in terms of everything.
But, we will see what happens. Maybe Feedback will get a sequel this winter. Who knows! :yay:

6368645 6369230
Naturally, this is a correct choice. Not reading this story in the voice of the Narrator from the Stanley Parable is somehow an incorrect choice. Certainly, I hope you took this into account when deciding to read this story in the proper voice.

6367867 6369230 6369308
This was a tactical move on my part. I mean, think about how off track Pinkie Pie may have gotten if there had been a broom closet. Why, not even Discord would have been able to get her out of there. That would make for a very unsalvagable story.
Besides, we all know this by now. The Pinkie Parable takes place at Twilight's castle. It certainly does not take place at Carousel Boutique and certainly not in any broom closet. There would be nothing there.

Is it wrong to say I wanted something like that whipped-cream fight in Rainbow Rocks? Or at least as a deleted scene?

While she was in the hallway going toward Twilight's library at the castle , Pinkie noticed a broom closet.
"Oh shiny !"
Wait no ! You weren't supposed to go in there ! There is nothing here.
"I found a shiny bucket !"
Yes .A shiny bucket. An empty shiny bucket....
"That's the amount of buck I give about the narrative !"
I hate my job...
"The narrator , fed up with Pinkie Pie , decided to leave and let her write her own story. "
Wait that's my ... You know what ? Fine , I am going to do it. Since I have no hope of salvaging this anyway , I might as well show someone how it should be done. Goodbye Pinkie.
"...and that's how Equestria was made !"

6367472 I won't die alone! I have a really big family who loves me, ur really mean :fluttercry:

6373729 I figured that out after I bought the game and started playing. :rainbowlaugh:

The people have spoken. We need the broom closet ending. We need it now. Write, oh gilded author! Write now! Write like the wind! Amuse us poor mortals with your silver tongue golden prose!

Pinkie Pie briefly stopped to talk to Cheerilee who, with a saddlebag on her back, was making her way toward the schoolhouse. The two exchanged pleasantries before Pinkie Pie gave birthday wishes to Cheerilee to forward to her friend.
“I mean,” Pinkie Pie said, “because then she can forward it to her uncle, because his former roommate has a little bitty colt and it’s his first birthday today!”
And, again, Pinkie Pie’s encyclopedic knowledge of all of the ponies in Ponyville, or Equestria for that matter, proved to be of use, so that she could wish Cheerilee’s friend’s uncle’s former roommate’s young son a happy first birthday.

Spaceballs! Also, is everyone's last name Asshole?


As the four of them excitedly shot whipped cream at each other,

That's what she said.


I was actually planning to write something like this... damn you.

I would definitely be interested in hearing about the "Good Ending" Where Pinkie Pie follows all of the narrators directions. T'would be interesting. Maybe a bit boring, lol.

I hear Pinkie showed up in a Harry Potter parody disguised as Pinkamena Marvolo Riddle Pie.
Be afraid. Be very afraid.

I was not expecting another chapter, else I would have tracked it.

Instead, after this chapter, discovered by happy chance, I will favourite it...

hi hi

I have to admit, I had to stop reading partway through the second chapter. If the narrator want's to grab my opinion about continuing to read the story as a justification, well, the narrator better not make assumptions. :ajsmug:


Good on ya. Way to stick it to that nasty narrator!

Don't worry, I wasn't expecting another chapter either! Strange how these things work, eh?

It could happen~

I love it when stories like this happen.

Pinkie be like, 'Fuck you, NARRATOR!!!'

Sorry, blatant TfH advert is blatant, and earns the down vote of disapproval.

OH MY MONEY, best chapter ever, 10/10, would read over and over 4evr

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