• Published 28th Aug 2015
  • 3,623 Views, 104 Comments

The Pinkie Parable - RQK



Pinkie Pie prevents the story's narrator from telling a story about her. It's all downhill from there.

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V. Pinkie Pie Attempts To Fix The Story

Pinkamena Diane Pie, known as Pinkie Pie by all, shot up in her bed. She fought with her naturally curly mane, whipping it into a facsimile of a shape, and then she looked out the window. A stream of sunlight filtered in through the shutters and hit her in the face, feeding her just enough energy to yawn.

Pinkie Pie threw the covers off and dashed out of her bedroom, bounded down the stairs, and zipped to the front door. She all but threw it off of its hinges.

The rest of Ponyville appeared grounded. Houses stretched across the landscape in a lattice of blocks. The grass swayed in an imperceptible wind. While there wasn’t a pony to be found in front of Sugar Cube Corner at the moment, there appeared to be nothing out of the ordinary either.

It was as it was supposed to be.

"It worked!" Pinkie exclaimed.

Indeed, it looks like it did.

Pinkie Pie clapped her hooves together and then nodded. "Alrighty, lead on Mister Narrator!"

Right then. Pinkie Pie shut the door and returned to the kitchen, where she threw herself together a bowl of cereal, an orange, and a cup of coffee. She sat down, content to savor every bit of it. After all, breakfast was an important part of any day.

Today… was going to be a good day, she decided. What new mysteries did today hold? Perhaps it would involve Twilight’s castle. Perhaps it would involve something else entirely.

She knew that, one way or another, she would find out.

After placing her used dishes in the sink, Pinkie Pie took one look at the clock. She still had time. She needed it. After all, even after a balanced breakfast, there was still the matter of hygiene.

So Pinkie Pie trotted back up the stairs and into her washroom where she took a few minutes to clean her teeth. One brushing of her teeth and then a mouthwash later, she examined her sparkling whites in the mirror, allowing her smile to grow even wider as she drank in her good work. Before she left, she sprinkled some water over herself to rejuvenate her mane and tail, even if they would remain tangled as they were meant to be.

She was ready. She returned to the clock downstairs. Surely, the others were on their way over to the castle by now.

Pinkie Pie crossed over to the front door and opened it, and stepped into the open air of Ponyville.

As Pinkie Pie looked up, she noticed the clear blue skies above. She couldn’t find a single cloud. Of course, there had been no clouds scheduled for the day, and so it would remain bright and sunny for the entire day.

She passed humble building after humble building and pony after pony.

Pinkie Pie looked around with a confused expression. "Uhm, Mister Narrator?"

Yes, Pinkie Pie?

"I think we have a teensy-weensy little problem here," she said, motioning to the area around her. The empty area around her.

Oh dear. …Where is everypony?

This town is supposed to be filled with ponies for you to wave at. But… but… there’s nothing here. The town is here but there’s nopony here.

"What happened?"

I… I don’t know. I’m at a loss here. But this is probably not a problem. Probably.

Pinkie Pie wiped something out of her eyes. "I sure hope not."

Let’s just keep going for now and hopefully everything will be okay once we reach the castle.

As Pinkie Pie pronked along, she hung a left, and then a right. She knew the town of Ponyville like the back of her hoof. After all, much of the town of Ponyville had been touched by that hoof.

And she was on precisely the street that she wanted to be on, for it would take her straight to Twilight’s castle. Therefore, Pinkie Pie stayed on the street.

The castle crept closer and closer as she pronked along with all due speed. Pinkie Pie wanted to get there and get there soon.

Pinkie Pie looked around.

Still nothing. Hmmm.

Pinkie Pie approached the tall and serene structure that stood like a sentinel over Ponyville. The path up the front door wound about in subtle ways, and Pinkie Pie followed it dirt by dirt until the crystalline steps met her.

Trotting inside, Pinkie Pie saw the equally immaculate insides. The cool floor met her hooves, sending a small pleasurable shiver through her spine. She wandered around an eternally interesting magical map in the throne room and headed up the stairs. And there were still so many things about the castle that she had yet to discover.

Pinkie Pie made her way through the halls on her way to meet with her friends. At the fork, she took a right toward the dining room.

Pinkie Pie entered the room and nearly dropped to the floor once she did. "What?"

N… Nopony here neither.

"Where are my friends at!?" Pinkie Pie screamed, throwing her hooves into the air.

Oh dear. I really do hope what is happening isn’t actually happening.

"This is super-duper-extra weird!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, flapping her legs about. "Everypony is missing."

Yes, I think they are. This… presents a very potent issue.

"Yeah?"

I think that the story… may have reverted too hard. We appear to have started without any characters.

Pinkie Pie sighed and flopped onto the table, sprawling across the hard blue surface and let out an even longer and more dejected sigh. "Welp, we’re kinda done then. I mean, obviously you’re done ‘cause you got nuthin’, and I’m done ‘cause… Well all my friends are gone."

Yes.

"And there’s no one here and like… Wow! Like, I really really can’t even right now."

I’m not sure what to do either.

Pinkie Pie sat up. "Mister Narrator, do we need to start a new chapter again?" she asked.

I… can’t possibly say that would be a good idea.

"No?"

I am not certain. But the next chapter skip might cause us to start without a setting as well.

"So Ponyville would be gone?"

By my reckoning.

Pinkie Pie held her forelegs against her chest. "Hrrrrm. Well, maaaayyybe skipping all of chapter four wasn’t such a good idea after all."

Probably.

"I am so done," Pinkie Pie groaned, falling back against the table. "I mean, really. The amount of done that I am right now—"

Now hold on a moment. I do not think that we are completely under just yet.

Pinkie Pie frowned.

While I do think a new chapter would really break things, we might be able to manage something with a regular scene transition. I mean, certainly we can’t be much worse off than this.

Pinkie Pie made a popping sound with her lips. "Nah," she said in agreement.

Okay, here we go, take two.

* * *

Okay, Pinkie Pie, how do we look?

Pinkie Pie looked around the room but noticed nothing. The pink-coated mare ran a hoof through her poofy hair and shook her head. "Still nothin’."

Well, drat. That didn’t quite work how I wanted to.

"Well, what were you trying to do, huh?"

Well, I was hoping that scene transition would allow me to… how do I say this? Teleport… the others here. I would have thought that they would exist somewhere.

Where did… where did they go?

"That’s what I wanna know," Pinkie Pie said with a pout.

It’s like they don’t even exist anymore. I think we’ve managed to erase them entirely.

Pinkie Pie’s eye twitched. "Well that’s really super duper! Good job Mister Narrator on deleting my best friends!"

Pinkie Pie, I didn’t mean for this to happen. How was I supposed to know that would happen? It’s not like I really understand much of how this works anymore.

Pinkie Pie pointed into the air, "You’re the one that started the chapter over."

…Yes, and you agreed with me.

The change in Pinkie Pie’s expression was immediate; her cracked expression found itself accompanied by the audible sound of breaking glass. She twiddled her hooves together. "…Okay, yeah, I guess I kinda did some of that, didn’t I?"

Now now, it just means we’re in the same boat. You and I are both without them. But, I think I have another possible solution to this.

"Yeah?"

I’m going to perform another scene transition. And I’m going to try and pull a few strings. I’m throwing my narrative powers at the wall and seeing what sticks, but I think that this will nip this in the bud.

Pinkie Pie leapt to her hooves. "Alright then! Let’s go!"

Yes! Yes! Let’s go!

"Scene transition!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

* * *

Pinkie Pie pushed her way through the double doors, emerging into the dining room.

Five ponies sat around the circular table in the center of the room, engaged in idle gossip as they talked about their days.

Rainbow Dash perked up. "Oh hey!" she exclaimed, leaping to her hooves. "Pinkie Pie!"

Pinkie Pie all but leapt into the air, because what other reaction should she have to seeing her friends again. "Hey girls!"

Almost at once, the five others looked around with confused expressions.

Applejack considered it and then frowned. "Hey uh… did anypony else hear that just now?"

Rarity nodded. "Indeed I did. Strange voice that is."

No way.

"There it is again!" Applejack exclaimed, whirling around in an attempt to look for the source. "Ah reckon we’re bein’ watched!"

They… can hear me?

Pinkie Pie’s mouth lay in an almost perpetual ‘O’.

Twilight narrowed her eyes. "We can hear you alright! Come on out, whoever you are!"

Rainbow Dash flew into the air, "Yeah! Cause something weird just happened and I know you’re the one that did it!"

Well… I… uh…

Pinkie Pie shook her head to compose herself before she leapt forward. "Wait wait wait! Mister Narrator! What’s going on?"

Fluttershy raised an eyebrow. "Uhm, Pinkie?"

I’m not quite sure. How are you able to hear me? You’ve never done this before.

Twilight Sparkle shook her head. "What happened anyways?" she asked, pacing about. "One moment I was at Sugar Cube Corner, trying to find a way to please the yaks, and next thing I know I’m here."

Rarity nodded. "You’re preaching to the choir, darling. I was trying to put on a play with Coco Pommel in Manehatten just now!"

"Ah was wranglin’ at the Appleoosa Rodeo just now," Applejack said.

Rainbow Dash frowned. "I was… doing stuff with Tank. Or I was… until he went to sleep," she grumbled.

Fluttershy said nothing in response.

At once, the other five looked over to her. "Fluttershy?" Twilight asked.

Fluttershy’s face turned bright red in response. Her eyes darted worriedly between all of them and her lips quivered. Fluttershy shrunk toward the floor, trying her best to cover herself.

…Oh. Oh my.

Pinkie Pie hummed. "Oh, that sort of fic, huh? No biggie!"

Applejack shook her head and stepped forward. "Pinkie Pie, this is really weird and all, and I need to know just what the hay is going on."

Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes, "Yeah, because this is not funny."

Pinkie Pie considered them, smacking her lips all the while. "Well… mmmmmmmmmmm.

"So we were trying to tell a story," she said, motioning with her body, "and I was the main character of the story but I didn’t really feel like doing the story and so I was like bam and boom and then the whole universe collapsed and then I was here again, ya know? But then we did it again and again and last time things got really weird and everypony was me and then Ponyville broke after we scene transitioned and then we restarted a whoooole new chapter but everypony is gone. But now you’re here for some reason!"

Pinkie Pie landed back on the floor and threw them a wide grin.

The five of them appeared frozen in place, staring at her like she has just answered with a long string of gibberish. Their mental gears attempted to turn but stuck.

"…Uhm," Twilight managed to get out.

That about sums it up, actually.

"What…" Rarity stammered. "What… what what what?"

Applejack seemed to chew on her words for many moments, visibly crunching them within her mouth. "Ah ain’t dealin’ with this," she finally spat before she headed toward the door.

Fluttershy blinked and shook her head. "I didn’t understand any of that."

That is, more or less, what is happening though. This I can assure you.

Pinkie Pie shrugged. "Yup, and right now we’re kinda stuck," she explained. "Kinda like glue! And peas and carrots! Jelly and jam!"

Twilight shook her head and sighed. "I think we get it, Pinkie."

"Let’s just go get some lunch or something," Rainbow Dash said. "I’m hungry."

"Ah’m with ya on that," Applejack seconded. "Let’s get the hay outta here."

The five mares filed through the door at the foot of the room and disappeared down the hall, their voices fading into the distance until there was not a trace of them left.

Well, that turned out completely opposite of how I wanted it to.

Pinkie Pie giggled.

I mean, well, I guess… Those weren’t your friends from this story, per say. But I didn’t think that would happen as a consequence of that.

"Wait wait wait wait wait," Pinkie Pie began, "wait wait. You mean to tell me that you went outside alllllll of this and found them?"

It would appear so. I must have grabbed them from somewhere else entirely. My mistake…

Pinkie Pie tapped a hoof against her chin as the wheels inside her head turned. And then she gasped so hard that she had to hold it back with her hooves. "Oh my goodness, I just had the most spectacular fantacular idea for a thingy ever! It’s gunna to so epic!"

…Do I want to know what this is?

The mare jammed a hoof into the air. "Ooooof course not! That would ruin the surprise!" she squealed.

Oh. Well, okay then.

"Im gunna do what you did earlier. Here we go!" she said, rubbing her hooves together. "Scene transition!"

* * *

"Can she do it? Will she make it?

"Who will win it? Who will take it?

"Can she do it? Will she make it?

"Did she win it? Did she make it?

The students sang along as two humans stood on a stage before them, their hands dancing across the chalkboards in front of them.

…Oh, I know this scene! But wait, that means…

In a single moment, the whole student body paused. The teachers whirled around, and the contestants broke from their chalkboards. Murmurs flew around.

"Woah!" the pink pony exclaimed as she fell from the rafters. She landed on top of the human world Twilight Sparkle, and both fell to the ground in a heap.

How did you do this?

Pinkie Pie scrambled to her hooves, observed the unconscious girl on the floor of the stage, shrugged and then looked up. "You see, Mister Narrator, I just did what you did. I scene transitioned and then we were here! Pretty cool, right?"

But how…? How did you take us into Friendship Games?

"Uhhhhhh…" Sunset Shimmer began from the other side of the stage. The human scratched her head and then pointed down at the pony. "You’re… the Pinkie Pie from Equestria, right?"

Pinkie Pie whirled around. "Yep! I sure am! And I need you for something!"

Sunset frowned. "I’m… kinda in the middle of something right now," she replied, motioning to the chalkboard.

Pinkie Pie grinned. "That’s okay! I’ll have you back in time for when Twilight absorbs all the magic and stuff and—"

"Heeeey!" the human Pinkie Pie interrupted, poking her head up from out of the crowd. "You can’t just spoil the climax!"

"Yes I can," pony Pinkie Pie shot back.

"But… but…" human Pinkie Pie began, climbing onto the stage. "That’s like… the best part, pony me!"

"I know, human me."

Human Pinkie Pie pointed at her pony self, "But that’d be like me saying that Starlight Glimmer comes back in the finale and does—"

She has a point, you know.

Sunset Shimmer stood by with an uncomprehending expression. She went to say something but then shook her head and swallowed it. The rest of the auditorium, including the teaching staff, scratched their heads at this display.

Pony Pinkie Pie considered it, and then nodded. "Yup, okay, I see. Good luck in the sports competition!"

Human Pinkie Pie giggled. "Oh you, we don’t need it! We’re supposed to win that one by a hair!"

"Yup!"

The two stood on the stage and giggled in tandem.

Pinkie Pie looked over to Sunset and then to her human self. "One more thing before I go though."

The human’s eyes went wide for a single moment and she focused her attention on the small equine at her feet. "Wait, not too hard, okay?" the human Pinkie Pie pleaded.

"I won’t do it that hard."

Oh no no no no no no no. We are not doing this. Pinkie Pie did not—

Pinkie Pie the pony punched Pinkie Pie the human in the face, causing the human to fall unconscious to the floor.

Yes, sure. You know what? Fine. That’s just fine. You do that.

Pinkie Pie giggled before whirling around. "And you!" the pony exclaimed, pointing at Crystal Prep’s principal, "Stop being a big ol mean meanie pants!"

Principal Cinch narrowed her eyes in response, adjusting her suit with a defiant "Hhmph!"

Pinkie whirled around. "Okay Sunset, let’s go! Scene transition!"

* * *

Cheerilee placed her piece of chalk into the cup on her desk and then turned to face her class. "Now, are there any questions before we go to recess?" she asked.

Pinkie Pie sat at in the very corner of the room, hiding behind one of the other fillies.

Sunset Shimmer, somehow still in her human form, sat beside her with a completely bewildered expression on her face. As she glanced around at the fillies and colts around her frown drew into one of concern instead.

Cheerilee smiled when a dark filly near the front of the class raised her hoof into the air. "Yes, Nyx, what’s your question?"

Okay! Let’s just stop this right here!

The whole class jumped upwards in response.

"Whaaaaaaaaat?" Pinkie Pie moaned.

I know this story! Just about everyone knows this story! Pinkie Pie, you can’t just jump into other stories like this, especially another fan fic!

Pinkie Pie zipped around the room, circling it twice faster than she could be seen, before she landed in front of the filly from before. She ran her eyes down from the filly's horn down to her glasses to the cute azure vest around her sides. "I need her for something."

Sunset Shimmer shot up from her seat behind the students. "Like you needed me for something, right!?"

Now the foals and fillies divided themselves between alarm, awe, and confusion.

Exactly! Pinkie Pie did not steal Nyx from the schoolhouse!

Pinkie Pie blew a raspberry. "School’s booooring anyways!" She blinked, looked around at the class, and then hastily added, "But you should still do it! Because it’s important."

Nyx frowned. "What… what do you want me for?"

Pinkie Pie hummed. "Oh, I’m still trying to figure that out. But I need you. I mean, since you’re the really cute filly incarnate of Nightmare Moon. We can get soooo much outta that!"

The whole class gasped, turning their glares onto the filly.

Nyx fell out of her chair, trying to push herself away from Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie Pie! Spoilers!

Pinkie Pie frowned. "Oops!" she squeaked. She turned to face the rest of the class, "Uhm, don’t worry about it. That doesn’t happen until later on in this story and really everything turns out really okay. I know because there’s a bunch of sequels and stuff."

Oh by Celestia’s Mane, please, Pinkie.

Pinkie Pie zipped over and scooped the almost tear-stricken Nyx into her hooves, "But don’t worry! Auntie Pinkie Pie’s got a plan!"

"No you don’t!" Sunset Shimmer countered.

No you don’t!

Pinkie Pie shrugged. "You’ll learn. Scene transition!"

Pinkie Pie, you need to stop.

* * *

The train car rumbled as the mountainside flew by it. A grey, clouded sky hung far overhead, and the air felt thick and distorted, like something hung within it that was never meant to be there.

Half of the traincar hosted several beds, many of which held occupants. The other half of the car belonged to a collection of small colts and fillies lounging on the floor, some of whom even appeared asleep.

A black-coated unicorn watched over a small grey mare in one of the beds, using her magic to tend to the female.

An orange stallion near the window narrowed his eyes. "Our shadow’s back," he announced.

The small, grey mare sat up in her bed. "Shadow?" she asked.

Sunset Shimmer sat up in her bed as well. A moment later, Nyx appeared from under the sheets.

One of the more-awake colts looked up. "Mister Calamity thinks something is following us," he said.

Pinkie Pie shot up from underneath the covers of her own bed with a huge, distant grin on her face.

Oh. No. We are not in the story that I think we’re in.

"Yeah, we are," the pink pony responded matter-of-factly.

Sigh.

Pinkie Pie shrugged and looked over at the rest of the traincar, who stared back at her through slack jaws. "Hiya!"

Calamity stepped away from the window with a snarl on his face. "An’ who might you be?"

"I’m Ponkie Po."

The pegasus snorted. "Well, ‘Ponkie Po’, Ah don’ know how you got on this train, but you have a few seconds to ‘splain yourself before I see you off."

Nyx whimpered once and then burst into tears, prompting Sunset to wrap her arms around the filly and hold her tight.

At once, the rest of the ponies turned toward her. While Pinkie Pie remained with a vacant smile on her face, the others looked over with sad expressions.

And then they saw Sunset, and their expressions warped into confusion.

Sunset smiled and stroked the filly’s mane like a mother would a child, and that seemed to calm Nyx down a little bit. With that done, the human turned her attention toward the landscape. Her eyes ran across it, picking up many different details, each more unsettling than the next. "I have a question; what is all of that out there?"

Velvet Remedy blinked, looked out the window as well, and then shook her head. "...Why, that’s the Equestrian Wasteland."

Sunset balked. "That… That’s Equestria!?"

Calamity rolled his eyes. "Ayep."

"That..." Sunset stammered, hiding her disgust with a hand. "I… can’t even…"

You would not believe how popular this setting is for writers of fan fiction.

Velvet Remedy deadpanned. "...Popular?"

Little Pip sat up in the bed. "Fan fiction?"

"Oh, we shouldn’t stay here long though," Pinkie Pie said as she leapt from the bed. "There’s a bunch of baddies about to come in and they’re gunna do stuff to the train and there’s this big ol thing and—"

Sunset Shimmer groaned. "Pinkie Pie—"

Actually, I would give her this one. It’s a bit pertinent in the context of this story.

Nyx nestled herself deeper into Sunset’s chest.

"But that’s okay, becaaaaaaause," Pinkie Pie began as she bounded over to Little Pip’s bed, "I need ya for something."

She’s trying to steal you away from the story. Don’t let her.

Little Pip blinked. "I’m sorry?"

"Commercial break!" Pinkie Pie cheered.

* * *

What is Gak?

The incredible squishable, squashable squeezable, stretchable bounceable, lovable poppable stuff!

The incredible Gak!

Gak Packs sold separately.

* * *

STOP IT.

Pinkie Pie shrugged as she trudged through some tall brown grass, making her way through a collection of wagons.

Where are we, anyhow? I don’t recognize this at all.

"That’s because it’s not out yet," Pinkie Pie explained as she rushed through the tall grass toward a mob of cows, all of whom had packed tightly together, whooping and hollering at whatever was happening in the center.

"Don’t mess with Texas!" boomed a voice from within the crowd.

Pinkie Pie dashed through them to find two contenders in the center of the ring. The bull, with impressively long horns jutting out of the sides of his head, stamps one hoof into the dirt. The other contender lay sprawled out on the ground below him, with her tail pinned underneath his other hoof. It was the latter that Pinkie Pie set her sights on at first.

The calf bucked upwards, kicking the much larger bull in his face, causing him to stammer backwards in a daze.

The two combatants circled each other in preparation for, what looked to be, the final bout. While the calf steeled herself, the bull snorted and then charged headlong toward her.

Pinkie Pie thundered forward in response on an intersecting course.

Pinkie Pie, wait—

Pinkie Pie whipped what looked like a large blue cannon out of her mane and slammed it onto the ground. Within an instant, the cannon fired, sending its charge straight into the bull, sending him flying. His cry didn’t die out into he disappeared into the sky with a twinkle.

Pinkie Pie squinted in an attempt so see that far before she clopped her hooves together. "Wow! That was one heck of a blast-off!"

The cattle looked on with their jaws on the floor. Especially the little calf in the center of the ring, who watched the spot where the bull had disappeared to.

Oh.

The other three invaders reached the edge of the crowd at that moment and they too looked up toward the spot.

Little Pip then traced a line between that point and the cannon on the ground. "Hmmmmmmmmmm," she hummed.

Pinkie Pie zipped up to the calf and wrapped an arm around the calf’s neck. "You’re Arizona, right? Quick! I need ya for somethin’."

The calf sputtered. "What did ya… just do to Pa!?"

I am so sorry about this.

Pinkie Pie raised a hoof into the air. "Scene transition!"

* * *

I’m very afraid of asking where we managed to end up this time.

Pinkie Pie jumped onto the table in the center of the room. "Here we are! Twilight’s Castle! Home sweet home!"

Wait, what? We’re… back?

"Yeah!" she said, gesturing to the bookshelves around the room. "This is the place that we left a while back. Remember?"

Sunset Shimmer placed Nyx on the ground and looked around the room. "So this is her castle, huh…?"

Nyx let out a gasp. "Twilight!?"

Pinkie Pie nodded. "Yup, this is her castle alright!"

"Does that mean she’s here!?" the filly cried with a smile on her face.

Pinkie Pie went to say something, paused, and then nodded. "Somewhere! But I dunno."

I don’t really know where she went either, and I’m supposed to be omniscient. But she was here.

Little Pip trudged around without any hampering on her leg. She looked at every nook and cranny, marveling at the architecture. "Wow, this is so… clean," she said. "I’ve never seen anything this… polished."

Nyx scampered over to the bookshelves, nearly climbing up just to browse the wide selection contained within. Her eyes jumped from binding to binding as she considered the options. "This is just like home, but…" She looked over toward the grey mare playing with the velvet curtains, "i-it’s less wooden and more… crystal-y."

Sunset smirked. "Well, she is a princess in Equestria. I wouldn’t expect less."

Arizona, the calf, snorted, "Yeah, well, it looks like of those fancy deer places to me."

And I… am guessing that’s a location where you’re from.

At that, Arizona frowned. "Who the hay are you?" she asked, trying to pinpoint the source of what she heard.

I am the narrator.

Now it was Sunset’s turn to frown. "…Narrator? As in, narrator of a story?"

…Yes. Although, truly, I have no idea of what is going on anymore and even if I did, I no longer have any power in this story. Strange, don’t you think?"

Little Pip poked her head into a closet and back out again. "Are you Watcher?"

No.

"Are you the Prophet?" Arizona asked.

No.

Pinkie Pie giggled. "Sillies! Mister Narrator is Mister Narrator!" she exclaimed before giggling some more. She then looked out at each of them and nodded to herself. "And now that you’ve all got to know the place, let’s get to it. I have assembled all of you here to help me build New Equestria! It’s like old Equestria, but newer."

Arizona grit her teeth. "And what is Equestria?"

"This place," Pinkie Pie said. "Trust me, you’re gunna love it!"

Sunset crossed her arms and shrugged.

Little Pip smacked herself in the face. "This is weird, but okay."

Nyx raised her hoof into the air.

"Yes! Nyxie!" Pinkie Pie said.

"Will we be the only ones?"

Pinkie Pie giggled. "No. That's why I brought all of you here. I want you to help me make a new world outta this."

Sunset frowned. "I don't know, Pinkie..."

Pinkie Pie fell to her knees. "Pleeeaaase!" she pleaded, looking up at Sunset through puppy-dog eyes.

The human sighed and shrugged. "Sure, I guess."

Nyx hopped up and down, "This sounds like a lot of fun. I'm in!"

Little Pip shrugged. "If this'll prevent the future, I'll give it a try."

Arizona frowned. "Ah was going to be a champion in Foenum! But now I'm stuck here and I can't help them."

You know, Pinkie Pie, psuedo-Applejack has a point.

"What did ya call me!?"

Pinkie Pie honked Arizona on the nose. "Don't you worry your biscuits off; they got palette swaps there. There's a whole bunch of yous running around there."

Arizona raised an uncertain eyebrow.

Pinkie Pie considered it, and then added, "They'll be okay. That's the honest truth!"

The calf sighed. "Ah guess."

"Horray!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed jumping into the air. "I knew all of you would help me! We're gunna do so good at this."

Little Pip chuckled. "So, Overmare, what do we do first?"

Pinkie Pie landed on the table with a grin. In a single moment, she brought out the blue cannon from before. "Well, that's easy. We celebrate the founding of New Equestria... with a party!"

The cannon fired, showering the room with decorations, confetti, and games, booming amidst cheers.

And so the five of them danced and played games and did a wide variety of other various antics. Somehow, it worked.

The five of them—Pinkie Pie, Little Pip, Sunset Shimmer, Nyx, and Arizona—then went on to bring in more and more inhabitants for the new world. To fill the Equestria that had once been laid empty from the lack of characters.

And, eventually, the other members of the Elements of Harmony returned to lend their assistance as well.

After a while, Equestria found itself populated once more. Cities thrived as lifeforms of all shapes and sizes mingled together in a new society. Old and run-down areas saw their own little renaissances as even more came together. Life in New Equestria was great, without any problems.

Even with citizens like Donut Steel, Donut Steel, and several other mega-super-alicorns running about.

And that was how Equestria was made.

Author's Note:

We... here at RQK productions much extend our most profuse apologies to everyone who's work was stolen from. We are currently working on returning these characters to their respective stories and sincerely hope that, however long the stories were without their star characters, that those stories were not wrecked as well.

Sunset Shimmer of the Friendship Games belongs to Hasbro and DHX.

Nyx belongs to the illustrious Pen Stroke of Past Sins fame.

Little Pip belongs to the indomitable Kkat, creator of Fallout Equestria.

Arizona belongs to Mane6, development team behind Them's Fightin' Herds.

Comments ( 26 )

I love it when stories like this happen.

Pinkie be like, 'Fuck you, NARRATOR!!!'

Sorry, blatant TfH advert is blatant, and earns the down vote of disapproval.

11/10 best fic.

Typos:

In a single moment, she whole student body paused
When knew that, one way or another, she would find out.

RQK

6534629 Fixed those errors right up. Thank you!

As soon as Pinkie jumped into Past Sins, I knew she'd be going to Fallout: Equestria. This was written perfectly! This is my favorite story with a narrative like this.

More chapters? You sexy bastard.

Wow. Just..... Wow. What can I say here?

Funnily enough, your story made me discover The Stanley Parable as well as The Beginners Guide from the same creator. Thank You.

RQK

6544722
I don't know. Perhaps it involves usage of the word "tacos"?
Because, after all, tacos.

6536416
Staaahp, you're making me blush!

6535220
Glad you liked it, even if you saw it coming. But then again, who didn't? :pinkiehappy:

6553450
Great! I hope you had a blast with those!

6558174 OMG all the fimfic. All the References. You made my day. Best writer ever.

Comment posted by RQK deleted Oct 23rd, 2015

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Excellent, my good sir. Most excellent.

6558174
Indeed I had. The Beginner's Guide inparticularly impressed me in a way any other video game couldn't do.
Though, The Stanley Parable was an awesome game aswell. The best part I think is The Stanley Parable Adventure Line TM. I hope there is an aquivalent in here, too.

See, Pinkie? This is what happens when you break the fourth wall to much! Please, for the sake of humanity and ponykind, DONT BREAK THE FOURTH WALL!

RQK

7018194 That silly narrator was so distraught that he couldn't get any of his numbers right. :rainbowwild:

Nyx whimpered once and then burst into tears, prompting Sunset to wrap her arms around the filly and hold her tight.

This is quite possibly the most adorable mental image i have ever had.

7059184 I don't know. Nyx staring at books next to Little Pip staring at curtains seems equally adorable. ...I need my party-time what's-its.

This silly story is glorious and I really enjoyed the ending with chapter five. I am so glad you didn't end it on chapter two like it originally seemed. :pinkiehappy:

I think New Equestria would be a great place to visit! :yay:

I loved this, it's a really excellent execution of a concept that's not all that easy to do well. :)

This story is also not in the Them's Fightin' Herds group. That is now fixed.

Glorious metafictional insanity from start to finish. Thank you for one heck of trip from introduction to conclusion. I can only hope my own stable of Pinkies takes this as the warning it is when it comes to interacting with the narrative responsibly.

:pinkiehappy: Oooooor we could take it as inspiration!

No. Bad Pinkie. Don't make me get the spray bottle.

Pros: Very well written.:pinkiehappy:
Cons: Very slow build-up.:ajbemused:
When I started reading this I was amazed at how prosaic, free of typos, and boring it was.
By then ending I was wishing it was boring.

My progression through this story:
Well, what have we got here? :pinkiesmile: ...
Nothing's happening :rainbowhuh: ...
OK, Pinkie did stuff :unsuresweetie: ...
Well, this is boring :ajbemused: ...
Wait! What?! :applejackunsure: ...
Whaaaat? They hear the narrator?! :twilightoops: ...
Equestria Girls? :rainbowderp: ...
Fallout! :pinkiegasp: ...
What the "squee" is going on?! :derpyderp2: ...
3 - 2 - 1
:derpytongue2: I have no idea what's going on here and I don't care. This is awesome!

Good for you RQK! I will be looking at your other stories after this.

Well, here we are. After all this time I returned to this, for I had liked it. Unfortunately, I had no account back then, unlike now.

This story was what pointed me to "The past sins"'s direction. Oh, boy was that a good, long read!..

This was equally bonkers and inspired. I have not laughed like I did while reading this in a long time. Thank you for sharing this delightful madness.

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED - Go Outside

Don't read "The Pinkie Parable" for five years.

Fellows, with the new ultra-deluxed "Stanley parable" comes an ultra-deluxed reread.

'Tis a shame this is all we get. Hm-m-m... Can we do better?.. Can we do justice?..

Me thinks, we can!.. With CYOAT*!..


* The choose-your-own-adventure tool.

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