• Member Since 2nd Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 14th, 2016

Cobra Commander


Have you ever felt like the Universe was out to get you? Well, pat yourself on the back, because you're absolutely right. The Universe is a huge jerk, and its favorite pastime is frying planets with supernovas the moment so much as an amoeba crawls out of the primordial soup.

Given its track record, what will happen when the Universe stumbles across a certain planet inhabited by magical technicolor ponies? The biggest party ever, if Pinkie Pie has anything to say about it!

(Featured on Equestria Daily)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 50 )

This story owes its creation to the one and only Bad Horse of FiMFiction, who provided the inspiration for this tale.

The amazing cover art comes from the supremely talented Hinoraito of DeviantArt. I commissioned it especially for this story, and I am overjoyed at the incredible job she did!

This is the first time I've ever seen something like the universe personified. And, of course, the first time I encounter this involves Pinkie Pie. Who else?

Excellent one-shot, very funny and almost exactly how I would expect Pinkie to talk and behave when faced with the entire universe. Shame that we're all gonna die if this ever comes true.

The ending made me laugh so hard I thought my lung was coming out!!! :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Oh, come off it, Universe!

Glad you enjoyed it! I did my best to try to think like Pinkie while writing her portions. I got a migraine and Type 2 diabetes for my trouble, but it was worth it for the authenticity! :pinkiehappy:
In that case, mission accomplished! Glad you liked it! :twilightblush:
I know, right? Like I said: Total. Jerk. :ajbemused:

Thanks to all three of you for the fave, as well! It's really appreciated. :pinkiehappy:

Oh Universe, you're so crazy! *laugh track, iris out*

An extremely entertaining one shot.

ghost of a human after universe destroy planet: snob

Yesss! :rainbowlaugh:

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :pinkiehappy:

Tell me about it. What prima dona! :duck:

1255626 dude i know to spell snob.


This... was certainly the result of some variety of Genius. :rainbowlaugh: The simplicity of the premise made me jump on it as soon as I saw the title. And you did a good job of handling the situation.

Would you permit me to place a reference to your story in a Doctor Who pony fanfic I'm writing?

The beginning reads alot like Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy which is a good thing!

KABOOM! :pinkiecrazy:

I would be inestimably honored, sir! Thank you for your generous praise. :raritystarry:

For everyone but us bipedal apes. :derpytongue2:


Thank you very much! As a big fan of the Guide, I find that to be an extremely flattering comparison. :pinkiehappy:

I always enjoyed your little stories on devArt, but this really takes the cake... Which actually makes me sad, seeing that I was going to eat it later.:pinkiesad2:

Very nice. truly deserving the random tag XD

Comment posted by city street deleted Sep 8th, 2013

See? Just more proof of how big of a jerk the Universe is! :raritydespair:

It doesn't get more random than a Pinkie fic. :pinkiehappy:

If that was the case, then the Universe did not overreact in the slightest. :rainbowderp:

A truly enjoyable concept. Of course it would be Pinkie that would unwittingly save all pony-kind by befriending the Universe.

That last line was perfect, and I offer you my first born child in thanks for giving us that.

Is it bad that I was reading the first few paragraphs of narration aloud in a voice akin to that of the illustrious Dr. Ivo Rrrrobotnik?

that ending... must be 4chan
because when all else fails blame 4chan

She's the best Deus ex Machina this side of the Sonic Screwdriver. :derpytongue2:

I graciously accept your gift, and shall offer him up as a sacrifice to the dread Pit Lord to whom I forged an unholy pact for the inspiration of this tale. I believe you would know him as Bad Horse. :moustache:

Not only is it not bad, I believe that may now be mandatory for this story. :rainbowdetermined2:


Excellent one-shot. :pinkiehappy:

For a moment there I thought that the Universe was going to turn out to be what Pinkie breaks the fourth wall to communicate with.

I'm glad you liked it! :pinkiehappy:

And that's actually what I meant to imply. :derpytongue2:

"Pinkie breaks the fourth wall" and its various subsets have gone well beyond the point of cliche, but this story puts a unique and original spin on the concept. I really liked the way the universe was portrayed--I got a very "Douglas Adams" vibe from it. Personally, I thought the ending was a bit of a disappointment, though. I can see from the other comments that I appear to be in the minority, but it felt like a hastily tacked-on bit of trollage more than a logical outgrowth of the story itself. Random comedy still needs to have SOME logic, after all, and blowing up the universe for the sake of a "humans are icky" joke after spending the previous 3000 words building up the universe/Pinkie dynamic seems awfully cheap to me.

Nevertheless, I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy this. An excellent waste of a few minutes, I'd call it. Good work.

Saw that ending coming. :rainbowlaugh:

I understand; humor is subjective after all, and the same things won't be humorous to everyone. However, I feel like I should point out (and my apologies if this wasn't made clear in the story itself) that the Universe only destroyed the Milky Way Galaxy, which is very distant from the theoretical Pony Galaxy, so he didn't harm Pinkie with his ridiculous overreactions. Of course, given that only one line ("Choosing a new galaxy at random...") indicated that the galaxy that was destroyed was different from Pinkie's, I can see how it would have been overlooked. In any event, I am glad you enjoyed the rest of the story, at least. :pinkiehappy:


Complete? NOOOOO :raritycry::raritydespair:

This brilliance needs more!

I'm very happy you enjoyed it so much. :pinkiehappy:
Though I don't currently have any plans for a sequel, I won't say that it's impossible. Even then, If it does happen, it won't be for quite some time. :applecry:

That ending was absolutly amazing. It made me laugh so hard. I just made an account, just so I could favorite and like this.

I am both honored and overjoyed! Thank you so much for the show of support! :pinkiehappy:

> sequel
"Pinkie Pie Meets The Multiverse"
"Pinkie Pie Meets The Hypercontinuum"
"Pinkie Pie Meets The Fractally Self-Similar Consciousness Of Which Our 26-Dimensional D-Brane Is An Insignificantly Tiny Part"
and finally
"Pinkie Pie Meets Herself"

:pinkiehappy: "Guys, guys! I just met the UNIVERSE!"
:rainbowhuh: "No, Pinkie Pie. You are the universe."
:trollestia: "And that's how Equestria was made!"

"Um, hi! Yes, I'm talking to you, Mister Eldritch Being! Are you one of those thingies from beyond time and space that make ponies go crazy with cyclopean visions of impossible geometrics and sunken cities holding Dead Gods Dreaming? Because my Granny-Pie saw those all the time!"

Best line ever!!!:pinkiehappy:

Pinkamena Diane Pie could now claim, with one hundred percent veracity, that she was friends with the Entire. Bucking. UNIVERSE.

No, I changed my mind, that one is!!!:pinkiehappy:

At this point, Pinkie's brain was desperately attempting to process these monumental revelations, doing all in its power to rationalize the Universe's apparent ignorance of the two most important things in... the Universe!

ARRUUGGHHH!!! Why must I choose? That's it, I'm just going to point out the best lines in the fic in no order of prefence whatsoever. Here we go!

Eager to make more new friends, the Universe shifted its perception down to the surface of the planet, a planet inhabited by a peculiar species of bipedal, furless primates.

Approximately five minutes later, the Universe simultaneously detonated every star in the galaxy.

...Wow.:twilightoops: I thought there would be more than that. Did I miss something?:rainbowderp:

Haha! I'm glad you enjoyed so many lines. :pinkiehappy:

As for the ending, suffice to say that it's been hit or miss (mostly hit, fortunately)! :rainbowlaugh:

Wow... You are a seriously great writer. The whole story was amazing. Loved it!! :pinkiehappy:

Shucks! Thank ya kindly! :ajsmug:

This is one of the greatest fanfics I've ever read. I love your humor and your writing style, you're amazing :twilightsmile:

And I love the ending. :rainbowlaugh: At first I had mixed feelings about it, but then I read your other comment where you state that the ponies are not affected, so it's ok with me. (I know, I'm a sick bastard.)

Anyway, great job! :pinkiehappy:

This is an excellent story that truely had me smiling and laughing!

Though I am picturing this for those five minutes.

Universe: Let's see what this world is doing...
Universe: ...Internet? What is this about? Oh, they have awareness of my friend Pinkie Pie?
Universe sees /mlp/

Returns to Equestria.
Universe: Pinkie...I just destroyed an entire galaxy that seemed to know of you, but...what they were doing to you, but I didn't mean to overreact like that...
Pinkie: It's okay. Say, maybe if you take a physical body for a while, things will be better. I bet you could make yourself a pony body easy!
Universe: ...alright.
Universe's Pony Body: I just don't know what went wrong...

Okay, that was priceless. :rainbowlaugh:

I love stories where pinkie is aware of higher/other planes of existence, and I love this one.

Just one small nit pick: you used "sentient" where I think you meant to say "sapient".
Handy guide

Other than that, great job! :pinkiesmile:

I jus love when Pinkie Pie meet abstract ideas and befriend them... you might think is an odditie, but I doubt it hasn't happened before :pinkiehappy:

Now she must befriend the multiverse :pinkiecrazy:

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