Twilight and Spike lived their childhood in Canterlot Castle under the benevolent eye of Princess Celestia and violent protection of her resident, so called, monster. A monster she returns to to find peace with but also unexpected danger and threats.
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Crucible dun goofed.
A little more back story.
And a tease.
I haven’t been able to get a smidgen on sleep in this noisy contraption.”
A smidgen of sleep?
I almost squealed at the sight of an update. I also groaned since I was doing one last sweep of the site before logging off for the night and going to bed.
Kingy is dead.
I have a feeling I'm going to greatly enjoy this story. Will binge read all of it by tomorrow.
m.memegen.com/ha55xu.jpg
7785984 7786046 Good sirs, madams, or what have yous. You have just demonstrated what would be called a vast understatement, for 'kingy' will soon cease to exist if he is caught.
7786128 Glad to know I'm not the only one that has read so many stories. Though I don't think I've quite reached a thousand.
he thinks his story is called Alicornslayer, but his name isn't Gotrek, and he's about to get stomped on.
Ooooooooooo someone had a deathwish. https://media.giphy.com/media/eb3WAhXzlUAFi/giphy.gif
Good news! Beef is back on the menu, finely cooked too.
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Your avatar is my current wallpaper.
7786128
this.
I have fimfiction up on my phone at work, refreshing every second in hopes of moar. This is one of the best H.I.E. Ive had the pleasure of reading.
I think a less morbid version of this could be a fireman. I think, deep down, every fireman wishes their job would become unnecessary. At the same time, I don't know that all of them would know what to do. In a way, they need the danger, even though they don't like the loss that comes with it. But they don't have to spend a lot of time thinking about it, because they are confident that there will always be a need for them.
Lol, what a convincing argument.
I feel like Cadence may get to try her skill in diffusing a war. A king attempting to assassinate a princess. There is no way this ends well. He succeeds, and it is seem as an act of war by Equestria. And if they didn't take out Raegdan, he may arrive sooner than the declaration of war. If he fails and somehow isn't killed, still ends up pretty similar, only with Equestria starting out with the king of the opposing nation in their custody. And the most likely, The minotaurs claim that their king was killed while on a diplomatic mission to Canterlot, while Equestria claims that the king attempted an assassination on their diarch. Sounds like WWI, only with even higher ranking parties involved in the assassination.
I can't wait for the next chapter! By the way, what is the picture supposed to represent? I looks really good, but most of yours are supposed to represent something, so I curious as to this one.
Oh, and finally,
Missing a space there.
Another enjoyable chapter. Great job.
7786573 I think it's mine too.
7786015 I like teasing . One day, I shall write a chapter a chapter that will have no mistakes. It will be pristine, like the laughter of a newborn, and flow like a pure stream down a gentle slope.
It will be three sentences long. Ain't managing that otherwise.
7786046 7786128 7786745 The struggle continues as the weight of expectations keep piling on and on. Hold on, Crimmar. Hold on. You can do it!
*crack*
Suck it up, you wuss. You don't walk that much anyway. Kneecaps are overrated.
7786337 Now I'm sad I didn't give him a mohawk :(
7787043 It's a semi-abstract representation of how Cadance 'sees' the web of emotions. If you look carefully you'll notice that some of the colored 'clouds' are tinged with something around them instead of being pure color like the rest.
Oh boy, I can't wait for the next chapter either! You don't even know! It's going to have fights, it's going to have consequences finally hitting their targets, it's going to earn that Gore tag on its own, it's going to have Honest Serenade being her amazing self, wrong decisions made for the right reasons... I have been waiting for the next one for a long time now!
7787109 Ah, so it was Cadence. With the darker coloring, I couldn't quite tell if it was her or Twilight. Didn't think she was an alicorn in this story, but it wouldn't be the first time I've gotten something mixed up.
Sounds like it should be a good ole time! Always a good sign when the author is just as hyped for the next chapter as everyone else.
Crucible's screwed.
great chapter with a lot of back story, gives us the nightmare moon, celestia fight, velvet (love her in this fic, can you remind the chapter where twilight finds out that her mom was ok, and sent him to save her at "any cost")
Cadance is a lot of fun more over with Raegdan when he tells that he does care for her, but my personal crème de la crème was thist
nothing like a promise of a joined bath to blackmail an alicorn
7787538 I'm so glad you are having fun! I'm not sure what you're referring to. Do you mean the part where Velvet tells Twilight she knew about the foalnappers, almost giving her a stroke? If so, that's chapter 24.
Now tell me this doesn't sound like a great one-line concept for a story.
Another excellent chapter as always. Man I'm kinda hoping raegdan ends crucible in the most brutal fashion...I feel like him and Luna have been getting beat around a lot lately and they need an easy win ( maybe with ramifications hitting them on the reputation/political side instead of the physical this time lol) to remind us that raegdan is still the ass-kicker around here. Plus I think he's due for a weapons upgrade...I don't think that perhaps a flint lock blunderbus is too far out of the realm of possibilities and a most fitting end for the king!
Oh and I almost forgot to mention how great the cadence flashbacks were! I really feel like you've nailed these character archetypes 10/10 every time. Especially Celestia, who in canon doesn't have much to work with. I can honestly say it's how exactly I would imagine a Celestia would be behind the scenes. Bravo good sir bravo!
7787733 yep. That was the part
One of the reasons I love how you made velvet in the fic. She is a mare of great insight. For a pony she had seen the true darkness and she didn't hide from it.
At the same time found a small jem i forgot... "We helped him" did she ever revealed who was the 2nd pony?
7787109 Nine clouds. With at least two purple and two pink clouds, my guess is a portion of the Mane 6--Pinkie, Twilight the most likely. Luna and Celestia should be represented as well. There's a green cloud, too--my guess is Spike. Since they're supposed to be the ones he loves, the others in the Mane 6 wouldn't be appropriate. Logic leaves that the others must be Twilight Velvet, Night Light and Shining and that the second pink cloud is actually Cadance.
7788484 Well, there's going to be brutality alright. But not to worry, for once the so called "ramifications" will hit those against them too, and Raegdan will put up a great show. I mean, I hope. I haven't written this part yet. I'm going by what I imagine.
Weapon upgrade? Oh, he's going to get his hands on something later on. It is another great part that I am awfully excited about. Twists and turns! You have no idea!
And I love having Celestia like that. I keep seeing incarnations where she is an impossibly wise and flawless ruler or a manipulative chess master. I, for one, prefer to see her as a mare who does her best, as much as she can, every day, failing and succeeding as much as anyone else would. This kind of character that keeps up like this through so many centuries is a different, but just as potent 'badass' in her own way, maybe even more as she doesn't have the impossible flawlessness that she otherwise is supposed to have.
7788486
I have no idea how Velvet 'grew' in my mind to be like that, but out of everything she has done it is that she knows how dark herself can be, and made her peace with it that I like. It is a great antithesis to Raegdan. Velvet knows and understands what they did is wrong, but she has decided it was the right thing to do under the circumstances and if they call her out on that she will accept anything that may come her way, resolute in the knowledge that she did her best. Raegdan... doesn't quite think like that. For him it was the necessary thing to do, and will do his best to avoid any consequences if he can.
If you dug a little deeper you'd have found a second one . She also said "one of the others".
What makes you think there was just one more pony?
7789776 i think it's more of "he think he has to do the things he does, he know they are not right"
she on the other hand "knows she has to do the things for the greater good while she knows they are wrong"
the idea is that he is driven by revenge and the need to save those he holds dear
she is driven by the desire to save ponies in general and cure the problem at what ever cost, she doesn't deny that she is wrong but she believes she is doing it for the right reason
will hope to see a flash back in velvet future talking about "we" who helped him
Hmm in your canon, how well does ponies fare as endurance runners compared to a fit human?
7789984 Considering that it is possible for a human to out-marathon a horse, I rate humans as much better than any of them, including earth ponies. I suppose that if they were to cover a 20km distance in a plain field the human would lose. Double the distance and the human starts outclassing them. Put someone like an experienced marathon runner or Raegdan, who has done a lot of walking in his way, against them and they stand little chance (keeping in mind that they reach their target in a reasonable state. A pegasi might be able to outdo them, but he/she won't be in position to do much other than land in sheer, deep exhaustion).
Of course, it all depends on how much less physically able than normal horses ponies are and how much of an advantage their magic gives them. In my version I prefer to low-ball and not make them able of the OP feats they pull off in the show, not without a cost. An earth pony like Big Mac might be able to pull tremendous weight, but I consider that to be helped tremendously by their earth pony magic, so how far does their tank go?
SO.... Looks like King Crucible of the Minotaurs is planning to commit an act of war.
Dumbass wants to poke an already enraged bear? To quote Celestia from Interlude 9:
I hope Raegdan doesn't kill him. I want to see Celestia capture him and keep him alive long enough to see his country BURN!
This cliffhanger.. I never asked for this..
...aaaand he still didn't get it. Can't tell if just not surpised or if i'm surprised that i'm not.
Spike and she or she and Spike. Common rule of thumb I learned was to remove half of the couplet(Or whatever it was called, the names of English rules bored me...) and listen or read the sentence to see if it sounds right.
Luna fucked Cadance and me. Correct.
Luna fucked Cadance and I. Incorrect.
Underlined parts are what you ignore when proofreading the sentence.
conceded
non-committal
is it bad to worry how bad the villan is gonna get hurt? because im pretty sure hes about to do the compleatly wrong thing and get fucked the hell up.
7795577 I swear to god, every single time I'm getting a grammar lesson you guys use the most colorful examples ever
7793433 Nobody does, but Cliffmar still delivers!
7795768 I'm sorry, literally the only example I could think of off the top of my head. I think I've been reading way too much lately, though that particular case wasn't one of them...
I'm going to hazard a guess that Raegdan hates himself for loving anyone and that's why there's hate in any connection. Or maybe Sauron? Given how that flashback was shown though, I'm surprised Cadance can feel any love for Celestia in Raeg's mind at all!(Also, Raegdan tried killing/getting killed by TWO alicorns in one night?)
The whole magic immunity thing was confusing to me though. Is he just resistant? I could see Cadance bypassing it because most of her magic targets the mind...
The whole parade thing...I thought it was ponies finally being nice after Baltimare...Celestia STOP HELPING!
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Don't be! One thing you can be assured of is that this rule will now stick in my mind. Also, it was funny!
More like in a month. Luna had already been there for a few weeks before he turned up in her tower.
Oh, it can due to a whole slew of reasons he's not resistant or immune to her "love magic". Perhaps because it also depends on the "web" thus bypasses his immunity, maybe it targets the mind though in a different way since he's known to be immune to that too... or perhaps it targets something else entirely. Who knows?
I considered it more as her giving a few prods... though how strong these prods are considering who she is is debatable. I like to think that a lot of ponies actually believe Celestia's claims by now, a whole lot of others are going with the flow with the wind, and others simply still doubt. It's a mix and match.
7796547
*cringe* Really hoping Chrysallis isn't able to influence him with her magic, things could go south, quick.
7796547
But then Twilight had an epiphany, and thus made it sound like she too could affect Raegdan. And THEN there was that example with the burned hands. I'm not clear if that's an example of magic not hurting him as bad, or if just because it's magically caused doesn't mean objects and elements can't hurt them.
Example: He's immune to Magic Missile. He's NOT immune to missiles fired BY magic.
Editing earlier comment to make it a bit less fuzzy.
7796570 Oh, if only the timeline I have in mind allowed me to tackle it. I swear, I wouldn't know whether to take it seriously or...
7796574 More like she realized that it was Cadance's love magic that Raegdan isn't immune to. The part there meant that the books sparked while he was burning it and the embers burned him a little. And your example is completely right. A magic blast won't hurt him. A blast that's meant to make him burn won't hurt him. But a fire ball would hurt him.
7796633
LMFAO.
Outstanding, simply outstanding. I guess theres no real way to tackle that problem in the universe you built for numerous reasons. Though I'd pay to read a story full of scenes that for various reasons didn't make it into The Lunar Guardsman. I can see Raegdan now in Too Many Pinkie Pies.
7798151
Now, I'm not promising anything, but I have been having some thoughts for later in Ponyville...
7798169
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I love this story.
7786128 Read it and I have to agree this is probably one of my favourites as of now, not #1 but in the top 10. I have too many stories I just hold so near and dear to my heart on this sight.
But definitely will can't wait for more, this story feels like it's barely begun. Although 5 days was nice.
I definitely enjoyed the feel of this story, it has its own flair to it and it's unique to itself which really counts for a lot.
Also Crimmar definitely create a published story of this because this story more than deserves to be shared beyond this site.
There was some grammatical errors throughout the story that I noticed, nothing outrageous. But there are some touch ups needed.
Also I'm guessing there's not going to be any Lunar relations with the Minotaur's anytime soon
There's a motto for the Lunar guard that I'm trying to remember but I can't remember for the life of me. I keep trying to remember but it's always just out of reach.
It's not in English by the way. The motto is stated in Latin. I believe, if memory serves me somewhat correctly, that it is three words. Other than that it's a jumbled mess that my mind can't put together. I found the saying in another fanfic, it's probably on this site but I've spent hours looking to no avail. Not sure if anyone else here liked NLR related fic's but that was how I found the story was looking for. So if anyone has suggestions, it would be of great help if someone knows what I'm talking about. I'm driving myself up the wall trying to remember.
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You are right, King Kai, I probably should.
Thank you. I did try to do something different, and I'm incredibly relieved it worked well enough. I'm also very happy that you liked it. Making this story into a published version is a distant dream goal of mine. Let's see how you guys like it all first, eh?
Touch ups are sorely needed, not just in the grammatical sense, though I have been learning a lot since starting it. I'm very lucky I have two editors by now who put up with me, as well as you guys in the comments who not only tell me when something is wrong but often explain it. If you had seen the prologue when it first got posted... every single "I" of "I am" and such was uncapitalized *shudders*.
Off to write some more. Hoping to have the next chapter ready in a week or two, even with the insane Christmas hours I'm forced to work at.
Edit: I think I remember some latin Lunar mottos some people mentioned in the comments in one of the first chapters. The one with the arena maybe? I'll delve into them later, see if one of them is the one you mean.
7799638
Luna nobis providet - The Moon/Luna provides for us
7806973 Not what I'm looking for but I'll take it. Well on with more searching.
My only disappointment with this fic is that it is not on TV Tropes.
7856662
Well, I'm surprised that he doesn't even need surgery after getting hit twice.
Well looks like one kingdom going to be burnt of the face of the world