Twilight and Spike lived their childhood in Canterlot Castle under the benevolent eye of Princess Celestia and violent protection of her resident, so called, monster. A monster she returns to to find peace with but also unexpected danger and threats.
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The whole "I am not a god, stop treating me like one" thing Celestia's got stuck on her is a bitch, no doubt. Especially with zealot loons like Steadfast Ray leading the charge like the damn God Emperor's Ecclesiarches. Morons, the lot of 'em.
Not bad hope another chapter is out soon. Also Steadfast Ray should have been tgrown in the dungeons for attempted murder in Celestia's name. Also how could Luna wipe the mane 6's memories, i have a feeling that it will back lash.
Very nice chapters
Just excellent so far. Plot twists, reveals and feels. But we need you to get up to date with how to address royalty
When addressing an emperor or empress the correct title is "Your Imperial Majesty".
For kings and queens it is "Your Majesty".
For a prince or princess it is "Your Royal Highness".
Dukes/duchess "your Grace".
For knights and barons/baronesses it is just "sir/lady".
And finally for everyone in between barons and dukes such as counts/countesses it is "Right Honorable".
Now I have simplified it. In the UK the full way to address is for example "Her Royal Highness, Princess of (insert country name)". Just to let you know. Keep up the good work .
7908250
Huh.. being a fan of medieval fiction myself this was interesting and informative. Whenever I actually get off my lazy ass and start writing again I will adhere to this, thanks.
Luna: Nobody helps me, nobody understands!
Also Luna: I have to mind control you so you don't try to help me.
This interlude was great :)
I actually would love to read more about these pre Luna-return years. Maybe a second side story to The Twilight Years, The, um, Afternoon Years? No wait, The Dawn Years!
7908250 Of course, when we're speaking of Ragedan, his usual address to Celestia is something like, "Yo! Royal Fat-assed Bitch" or whatever else pops into his mind at the moment--especially if there's other royalty about.
Most times, even he gets away with such. Most times.
7907765 *eyes shift around* I'm not with him. I don't partake in heresy!
7907931 Gee, you think? Yeah, it will. In a very big way.
7908250 Gah, more knowledge! Not really, that's super useful to know. Thanks for making our brainboxes a little more intellectual today. Just gotta keep it in mind for the rest of the ride.
7908687 This is a gross oversimplification of what's going on that nevertheless doesn't make it any less hilarious!
7909309 Ha!
7910507 I think you'll find that it's actually 'God-Emperor', but that's ok. I expect you just read the books casually and didn't retain it.
7910561
Did u get my email with my oc's cutie mark?
7910561 *narrowly glares* I'm onto you.... *slowly recedes into the darkness... Then comes back... Then recedes into the darkness once more for dramatic effort*
7910564 Nnnn....ope. Just rechecked. Haven't got any PM's or emails from you. (If it was supposed to be an email, where did you get it from?)
7910591 im gonna pm my email to you. Check your msgs.
7910626
Stories that will never end will die without resolution.
7910571 Hold on a sec... *Squints eyes, really notices the avatar* Oh fucking hell, you're an Eldar Harlequin, ain't ya?!?
7910626 7910760 No, no, no, this story definitely has an end and a resolution. It is some way off yet though. If we assume the first Arc was Charybdis, then this one was the Acceptance Arc, then what comes with the next chapter starts off the Rift Arc (which hopefully will end up small), and then we go into the fourth and last Arc which I don't have a name for yet but playfully call 'It hit the fan'. The story IS supposed to be read and have a pretty good conclusion on its own that makes it able to stand as a single story. It will leave some questions hanging but that is supposed to be part of the theme.
Now, if we get to what I want to do... I do want to have a sequel that addresses all the loose ends if people will want one after the finish of this one. The truly complete story as I have it in mind would span two stories -maybe three but I don't see that happening- and while the first one ends in a bittersweet tone (if you choose to not read the last, LAST chapter), the real ending will have a good ending that will be extremely satisfying.
I hope.
7910769 Oh, Honest Serenade! I love this character. The truth is even more tragic than that. Raegdan actually pities her, and doesn't return the hate at all. She doesn't stop to just getting Raegdan screwed, so I don't know if her story is supposed to redeem her. Her, or Raegdan, or Luna, or Celestia, or Steadfast Ray, or anyone else. That's all up to you to decide.
7910551 Luna refusing to communicate is starting to wear on me.
Part of the frustration for that comment was not remembering why the book was important. I THINK it was given by the batponies? Maybe? The way that line was phrased made it sound like Fluttershy would just throw it out without even trying to read it, or ask Twilight about.
As for Honest Serenade and her breakdown, why whatever Raegdan said to her hit her so hard went over my head.Can't remember how old she is, but my theory now is that her daughter was one of the former broodmares who ended up killing herself after being freed. Raegdan never told her. Though in that case how SHE knew of it all, and Celestia didn't...
The trap scene...I'm surprised that Celestia's Personal Student, or being one of the Elements of Harmony, doesn't confer some command over the guard. Steadfast ignoring Raegdan makes sense, since IIRC he was a Captain whereas Raegdan was stripped of his rank. Twilight took too long to get Celestia, should have done it as soon as she realzied about the trap.
Luna dismissing the element bears felt awkward. The line that most confused me was "We refuse to keep hurting you." Was she referring to the events of Manehatten in that? Twilight and maybe Fluttershy were the only ones who witnessed Raegdan fight right? The vibe from that scene is that Luna and Raegdan gave up on friends. Gave up on changing their plans. Gave up hoping for a happy ending.
The interlude scene was also grating, assuming I parsed it right.
Celestia dismisses Steadfast, just goes on Luna's tight lipped word and lets Silver go, somewhat reluctantly. Nobody thought to tell Celestia that there was a foal kidnapping ring, and that Silver was a victim? The torture interrogation was sad, but she deserved it for trying to kill Luna? Or hell, that tidbit about prison torture got conveniently left out because the Solar Guard must remain as pure a Celestia? Maybe it was just Steadfast, but I got the impression hiding embarrassing shit had been SOP for the Solar Guard for a long time.
Luna refusing to TALK to anyone is starting to get old.
7911122 GASP! My cover is blown! RETREAT BACK TO CAMMORAGH!!!
7911633 Let me see if I can address any of the issues. By the way, thanks for letting me know what you find annoying or tiring. Can't well fix what I don't know it's broke, can I?
To be fair, she does talk to Raegdan. To stop using excuses, you're right. It IS getting old, and it's part of what I want to get her out of the habit of doing in the new arc, which is part of the reason why Raegdan got so fucked up. She will be forced to rely and spend more time with her Lunar Guard on her own, members of which are not stupid. Solid Charge and Eventide do have suspicions that something fishy is going on and I'm intending to get her to open up, as well as use that to explore her backstory. The end of the coming arc is supposed to have both Luna and Raegdan come completely clean with everything to their guards. (Doesn't mean you get to find out everything though. There is one more arc after that and I need to retain some mystery to keep the final run interesting.)
The problem that I have been facing is that I simply can't have Luna accept to speak without a great deal of prerequisites. She hasn't spoken to anyone -bar Raegdan- EVER, and she's very, very afraid. It is tiring, true, but I try to keep it realistic as possible and not have her blurt out everything in an OOC moment for the sake of ease. But the issue has to be fixed and I'll take steps to do so.
Fluttershy just appears holding that book when they are waiting for Luna. The only description of it is that it has a golden cover, and in the next interlude Celestia points out that Steadfast Ray holds his brother's diary, a golden covered book. It is not meant to be the same but there's an implication that it's connected. (Sorry, I understand how easy it is to lose some stuff in such long chapters and long story, but I don't want to keep hitting you all over the head with repeating details all the time.) It is important, but thanks to Luna's mental manipulation Fluttershy forgot all about why it was important (the repeating word "worry" as Luna said that the girls will stop worrying about more, is a hint), and that's gonna bite Luna in the butt.
She's Blueblood's aunt, so she's about Velvet's age. I'd prefer to avoid any more spoilers that what I've already given, but I will say this. Velvet in this chapter, as well as everything she has said on the matter, holds part of the answer. Celestia simply doesn't know because it was kept extremely hidden from her. Heck, that line where Celestia says, "Not even Raegdan ever dared to make such a fool of me and disguise murder behind my back in such a cold, calculating manner in my own home, and he’s... him." is a dig at that. Raegdan DID that exact thing.
Celestia makes mistakes, and doesn't know everything. Wisdom and experience do not make anyone infallible. Raegdan has made a number of stupid decisions, but he's very, very good at a number of things, and keeping that hidden is one of them. You'll notice that when being cold and uncaring he's extremely efficient, and he certainly was as far as those foalnappers were concerned.
I'm not sure WHY should being Celestia's personal student give her that kind of power or force Steadfast Ray to listen to her. As for Twilight taking too long, she asks herself that, why she doesn't act or wait, and makes excuses. Again, subtle implications, that can't be communicated much better, that the mind control that Luna has on her is affecting her.
No, the whole idea behind that scene there was that Luna doesn't want to keep manipulating their minds like that. She is making them be more compliant to not meddling too much, as well as forgetting a few things (what Luna did to Twilight, as well as the details behind what happened with Serenade, though that is not said out yet). Her words there are meant to relay that she now knows them and likes them so much that doing that mental manipulation to them is hurting her emotionally, so she wants them to leave, at least for some time, so she doesn't have to do it anymore. In her final words Luna excuses her actions by saying that the outcome will forbid the girls from being ANY kind of defense for Equestria and thus kept safe to live a normal life unlike Luna herself.
Celestia lets Silver go because she realized that she was a victim in a twisted game between Steadfast and Raegdan. She knows she is being lied to about Silver, but what is she supposed to do? Force the innocent girl to talk?
The only ones who know about the foal kidnapping ring are Raegdan, Luna, the girls, Velvet, Silver Tallow, and Serenade (according to what the reader knows) and none of them talks for their own reasons. Raegdan and Luna are obvious why, the girls are mentally stopped even if they meant to broke the deal they made, Velvet keeps her mouth shut as well unless she's forced to (and with Celestia on charge of Silver she found it unnecessary to do so), Silver Tallow won't say anything for her own reasons as well as owing Raegdan, and Serenade has her own reasons as well. Steadfast doesn't know who or why Silver Tallow was important. There was this scene where Serenade went to Steadfast and offered him a way to hurt Raegdan without consequences (she lied of course, why would she care about Steadfast?) and she's the only possible way that Steadfast could know about Silver Tallow.
(I'm a fan of hiding hints, and a hint to that coming was that Raegdan had name dropped Silver Tallow and her coming marriage in the chapter before the one with the Steadfast/Serenade scene. It's where Applejack eavesdrops on them at the station.)
I don't know where you got the idea that there was any kind of torture. If it was because of what Steadfast Ray, remember that it was all a ploy to goad Raegdan and he's NOT an inherently evil guy that would torture or harshly interrogate someone he knows innocent, though he would let Raegdan believe that. If it was because of Silver Tallow's reaction when a Solar Guard pushed with with a wing, you have to remember that Springfall immediately said that "she doesn't like being touched by strangers." Keep in mind what happened in Silver Tallow's past. When Velvet and Raegdan saw that they both got pissed off because they knew what Silver was reliving.
I feel like I've been doing a lot of excusing so far. I'm sorry, but I think a lot of it might be coming out of the way I write. I don't straight out spoon feed every bit of information, and rely on the reader making connections instead. It is hard to do so however because the characters often lie or are being cryptic.
7912541
What mind control? I mean, I got the impression from Luna's dismissal of her friends that she had manipulated their minds before, but I just can't remember where.
Pretty sure Silver walked in with at least a black eye...
Is Luna's big primary issue with talking to Celestia fear of being casually dismissed again?
I really hope SOMEONE goes to Celestia once Raegdan and Luna come clean...
Maybe once this arc finishes I'll read it again, refresh my memory.
It's always interesting how Raegdan can disconnect himself emotionally and take pleasure in hurting people. I mean it's horrible, but it's a survival instinct that he's honed in on and developed, as a way of coping, after all the messed up worlds he's visited. The fact he could continue to fight, even after a knife to the face, is a terrifying image. It kinda reminds me a bit of LV in Undertale, and how the higher it is, the more you can distance yourself and feel nothing about killing other or even take joy in it. And of course it only raises by continuing to commit violence, which Raegdan's done, a lot.
I think Celestia reacted appropriately enough, after Raegdan's murder attempt. I mean besides the fact that she probably should've thrown Steadfast into the dungeons to await trial for almost killing Raegdan in front of eyewitnesses in the first place. But I guess what's done is done, and she's shown enough disapproval to maybe get the hint across that she doesn't approve of this kind of crap. I think the only other way she could do to stamp out this godlike adoration. Would be to scrap the whole Solar Guard and build it again, from the ground up. Which would be impractical, given their current responsibilities. But she should definitely start being a bit more pro-active in cleaning house, which it seems like she's going to try to be.
7912786 There are plenty of instances where Luna does her stuff. It's just that since the POV we mostly is that of Twilight and friends we don't get to see them being referenced again because they simply don't remember them to bring them up.
Black eye is a great ways away from torture. You can make your own guesses as to how she got it, but keep in mind that she's shown to get real panicked when touched.
No, it's something way worse. She didn't try to commit suicide because she was scared she going to be blown off. She's afraid that Celestia will banish her back to the moon if she digs too deep. How valid she is on that fear is up to question, but that's how she feels.
7913463 Oh, I didn't know that about Undertale. Didn't play it though I've heard enough, but the similarity is pretty spot on. When Raegdan gets disconnected it is meant to be scary and horrible. He turns into a far more efficient killing machine (disconnected Raegdan would never have stopped from hitting Steadfast because Morning Dew was present) but that exact remorselessness and emptiness is what makes him so. What we imagine to be a badass "action hero" I try to give a show of what it might really mean. The price he paid to become that and how terrifying such a man that can kill so easily, and tank so much damage and still keep going, can be. Such a man would have to learn to enjoy the killing and suffering at some level. Otherwise, how would he not kill himself? You might want to pay some attention to the narration when he becomes like this, here and on chapter... 21 was it? This is not a narration for the sake of the reader that he does. This is what he tells himself to do. Every time he laughs at someone or being cruel is a conscious decision to do so.
It's even worse now, isn't it?
I love your way of writing. Had this in "read later" for a while. And now this story has taken the space for second best story i read on this site, right after diary of a madman. So many secrets, motives and stories to find out about the character. It almost reads like a mistery novel.
7913835
Oh, that makes more sense, I guess.
From the way your world is being ran, with all the undercurrents of sexual predators, extortion, plots of regicide, and backstabbing, I was just assuming that Celestia was simply clueless...despite there being hundreds of pony and other creatures' heads mounted up there, she just hasn't noticed....
=
Good chapters. Well done.
7914153
I could feel the disappointment you had for yourself all the way out here
7913858 That fear is a bit more valid then being ignored once more.
Alright. This is all I got right now:
Honest Serenade was one of the fillies/mares Raegdan saved from the breeding ring. However, they got her pregnant, she gave birth to a foal and then they took it away from her. Raegdan promised her to bring back her child, but he either found the foal dead, and buried it somewhere, or the foal grew up not wanting to meet their mother for whatever reason. Honest Serenade went mad with rage against the human foro not fulfilling his promised, and against everyone else involved in the breeding/rape circle.
I'm pretty sure I just spoke whatever crap went into my head and it might make no sense whatsoever, but it's late and I haven't slept in a while, so... Yeah
I've already voiced how tired i am of Luna not getting her just desserts, and what's his face above me that you responded to summed up my thoughts really well. I'm super glad that Steadfast got his shit kicked in, I'd never really liked him. It was beyond satisfying.
I love Serenade. I'm sure most people here despise her, but her character is one of the few, along with Leaf Steam? (The no winged pegasus), that i truly enjoy. I slide back and forth with Raegdan for many reasons. Sometimes he does or says something that makes me pity him and see why he does what he does, but then he does something fucking stupid and throws what little i cared for him out the window.
Luna though. There was a time really early on that i felt bad for her, but that was a long time passed. Nothing she has done since the near beginning of the story has given me any reason to pity her, and i usually love Luna or Nightmare. Everything she does is fucktarded, past and present, but she sees no punishment for it and won't likely see any for a long time because Celestia is fucking blinding herself to everything that she does. She's so fucking worried that she'll lose her piece of trash sister that she won't even confront her about anything, perfectly settled into her place of letting the fuckstick run wild. That's exactly how she fucking fell into Nightmare the last time, so why the fuck would you not meddle more now?
Fuck, everything that happens around Luna pisses me off.
7918428 The more I think about it, the more amazed I become at how much I've dropped the ball as far as Luna is concerned. I've devoted almost no time at her at all save from all those unsavory moments. Small wonder you feel this way as far as she is concerned.
Raegdan is supposed to be sliding along the middle of that scale as much as possible. As much fun, caring or pitiful he can be at times it doesn't take away from the fact that he can and will do horrible things or even stupid ones driven by conditions that don't apply to him anymore. Luna was supposed to be the same, perhaps a tiny bit better, but I've not given her the proper attention. Also, that sliding scale is extremely hard to catch. Everyone draws the line somewhere different.
I'm currently in the process of writing the next chapter and I'm taking steps to start making ammends (better late than never, I guess?). Hopefully, you'll see some changes soon, and I'll probably start using the Interludes to delve into Luna's past so that at least her characteristics are better understood if not excused. Please, keep up with the feedback and let me know your opinion, no matter how harsh. I'm a big boy, and I want to get this better that it is.
As for punishments and such? That is reserved for the end.
7918681 You've done really well with Raegdan. No matter how much I hate him at any given time, I know that there is actually a person under all of that, and that everything he does, he does it for the small group of ponies that he legit cares about. It's an amazing dynamic personality that is constantly under conflict with itself, struggling to do what he thinks is best for those in his circle.
Luna, on the other hand... You put it very well, I suppose. She's had nothing to truly tell us that she's anything less than an emotionless void. The only time she opens up is with Raegdan, and, from what I've gleaned, that's only because he shares a similar mindset to her. Every action she's taken has always been for herself, despite how she tried to play it off in the backstory that we've gotten, at least from the way I've seen it. She wants to be loved by others, but does nothing to try and win over the populace. The whole Leviathan thing was done solely out of a selfish goal trying to show her power and return the favor of those that had been loyal to her in the past and just happened to result in her being adored by... whatever the fuck city that was. My memory is garbage, so you'll have to excuse my inability to remember details like names and such. :( She spent her entire time pre-nightmare fighting shit and never once reached out to her sister, committing obvious atrocities in the name of the greater good, and then blamed her sister and the ponies for the populace coming to resent her and fear. It's just, there's no sympathy to be given here. She's a pure idiot out of choice, similar to Raegdan, but at least he's shown that he can try and better himself.
I get that, and understand completely from a narrative standpoint, but it doesn't make it any less infuriating.
Still, keep on trucking. I don't comment often, because most of the time it's vitriolic rants like this, but I applaud you for taking the knocks like a man. It's a rarity nowadays.
So, how many episodes of season 2 have we skipped at this point?
This... story. It's amazing, this story is the only one that made me actually cry, made me actually laugh. This story is the one thing I can't wait for. Before I found this story I was reading Diaries of a Madman, that story was my favorite. Then this story came to meet my eyes. The way you portray Raegdon, it showed a beaten up man. A person who had nothing to live for, until Twilight came into the picture. They way it reminded him of his Little One. The way that they acted, he wanted only to see her happy, to see her have a nice life. It seems like he didn't care for himself as long as she was safe and sound, he would kill for her. He wanted to protect her until he couldn't no more. Then there is Twilight finding truths that he didn't want her to find out, it is breaking his heart to see her like this, then add what Twilight did to him. He is not allowed to see Little Flame, unless with a certain person that Twilight allows. It broke my heart. This story is beyond words, and I will be here even after it ends.
On the side note I got my friend, who isn't even a brony, to read this and he even says it's a really good story. So keep up the good work.
Also I love your pictures that you draw to add 'color' to the story.
7918765
I'm a bit on the opposite.
I can't help but feel sympathy for him.
The things he's been through shape a person.
Regardless of your determination not to become a monster, experiencing what he has ends in only one of two ways:
1. You give up and die, allowing everyone and everything you care about to die as well.
Or 2. You go on and reconcile being a monster.
Raegdan's only crime is not giving up when he has every right to continue on.
Like Luna in this story, everyone seems to forget that the first victim of what he was forced to become was himself.
The guy needs mental help, and he's LOOOOONG since passed the point of ever being rehabilitated, but he's actually got a very good chance at being... "defused", so to speak.
With expert help in our world, even someone this broken has a (surprisingly good) shot at reaching the point where he no longer experiences uncontrollable bouts of hostility. He'll never be sane again, and the things he's experienced will haunt him for the rest of his life, but anyone capable of showing the patience that he did raising Twilight is quite capable of being "redeemed", both in society's eyes and eventually his own.
Clearly, however, Equestrian society is a few centuries behind us in psychological help. Not terribly surprising, considering they have so many different species. Each creature on our own planet has it's own unique way of thinking, as well as strengths and weaknesses, so having a planet with dozens of different sapient races could (in all likelihood) drastically hinder their efforts to learn the ins and outs of the mind.
(It's like adding extra decks of cards to the game, each new deck exponentially increases the difficulty of your average guy ~not someone with an eidetic/photographic memory~ counting cards using memory tricks.)
7924321 I think you misunderstood me, or perhaps didn't read my first post a few above it.
7928713
If that is the case, then what Raegdan did was a kindness. (Telling her that her child was dead, but they couldn't find the body or couldn't tell which body was her child if something happened that disfigured multiple abducted children beyond identifiability.)
But to be fair, her decade(s?) of abusing Raegdan well warranted his dropping this bomb on her psyche (whether the aforementioned nightmare-situation is or isn't the case, the possibility will no doubt have occurred to her that it could indeed be true).
Honestly, because she's so completely gotten away (so far) with her atrocities toward anyone even close to Raegdan (let alone Raegdan himself) including those of which are entirely innocent of any wrongdoing, Serenade deserves all the cruelty that can be lumped on her at this point.
She's tried to have ponies murdered, brutalized, and raped (and that's just what we know of!) so far, and she's knowingly done this to ponies that are 100% innocent.
At this point, she's no better than the monsters that did terrible things to her child and the children of who-knows-how-many other parents. For that, she deserves every last bit of pain that can possibly be inflicted upon her.
I say this because DECENT people IRL who HAVE experienced what Serenade went through don't go about murdering/torturing/raping innocent people who are even remotely affiliated with someone involved in their child's abduction.
^ You don't go around abusing and murdering the kidnapper's innocent hired help (IE, gardener, physical trainer, housekeeper, errand boy) to get back at the kidnapper.
And on top of that, Raegdan isn't even the kidnapper!
From what the story has told us so far, reading between the lines tells us that she blames Raegdan and Luna because they simply couldn't save ALL the children who were kidnapped. Not being gods, they only managed to save some, and Serenade is just lashing out on them because she blames them for not saving her kid along with (or instead of) someone else's kid.
Now, wanting to blame your child's would-be rescuers for not being able to save everyone is understandable (parents often feel the need to lash out on the wrong person because they're a convenient target and the parent's need to direct their anger/hate/frustration on someone), BUT once you take it to the extreme of outright attacking them (much less the innocent people around them as well), you've crossed a line that even most grieving parents don't cross. (And she damn well knows how wrong her actions are.)
7920988 I think Crimmar said the truth was even worse than that theory, so my new one is that her child was involved with running the child sex ring.
Not entirely sure why he'd hide the fact her child was eaten, but I guess that depends on whether Honest was aware of what her child actually did for a living. Hunch points to no, given that Raegdan placed emphasis on her name.
7941515 Well, it makes sense that you don't. The book only appeared on this chapter and one like it in the interlude. There's not going to be much more showing off of it until later on.
I caught up. And now I have to wait like everyone else for chapters.
Worth it!
Well done. A little too dark conspiracy and conflicting emotional for my taste, but the truly amusing, light-hearted parts proved to apply a refreshing break while achieving maximum quality.
Quite well done
7912786
So after rereading this, can't believe how I forgot how many MC spells Luna was throwing out.
Still want them to come clean to Celestia just how close Luna came to killing herself, if only because allowing Celestia to remain ignorant is the greatest kindness they've done so far.
I'm also a bit confused on just why Luna wants to stop her brainwashing now. What changed, what was the catalyst, the final straw?
So homeboy dove in front of a bullet meant for Superman? Lol stupid muhfucka
There is only pain and more pain.
Celestia wanted her back so mutch but once she was back? She was ignored once more...
cough