Twilight and Spike lived their childhood in Canterlot Castle under the benevolent eye of Princess Celestia and violent protection of her resident, so called, monster. A monster she returns to to find peace with but also unexpected danger and threats.
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ROTHFLOL
Poor CMC...not...
8546378
Careful there, mate. Imma thinking you might have not noticed that I uploaded three chapters today. I fear you just jumped straight to the last one.
8543641
No no no don't do that that's so fucking annoying
8543641
I would say that we don't need to know when each little thing in a chapter happens, unless you are doing weird flashbacks like when Luna and Raeg visited Leaf Stream in the hospital. If actual dates are too cumbersome then just a little blurb at the beginning of each chapter "X time after Y event" would do.
OOOO, or "T-minus time until Shit hits the Fan!" Wait, why am I giving you ideas for MORE suspense, we don't need it!
On the other hoof, you finally got your cutie marks much earlier!
8543641
The announcement of character and time is hurting the reading experience more than anything. It's a crutch that comes across as lazy and amateurish. If readers are having trouble gauging time, then say, in story, that a certain event happened "two days after" or "the evening of" another or something the like.
Readers struggling to immediately find out what character they're following will come to know soon enough given the character's thoughts or others in the same scene using their name. For me, it's always good fun searching for clues as to whose perspective a scene is seen from.
8546855
hmmm, not that crazy about it as well either. It felt kinda condescending to me, but it was worth a shot to see if people preferred it. Gonna leave it up in case I hear any more yays or nays, but I'll take it off probably. Oh well, they can't all be gold!
8546871
You're respected in my books because you pay attention to what your audience says, but at the end of the day if you feel you're making changes that are the best for the story it's your prerogative to alter it as you see fit.
I'll still gripe about them if I don't like them, though.
Youch. The CMC had it coming I guess.
Also, Raegdan needs to boost that public opinion of his. Pretty much the whole town doesn't like him. I honestly would've thought that someone would've stood up to him by now.
8546855
I guess my thing was that most of the time it's not really needed. But we(I?) need some clue when the last chapter involved the element bearers heading home, and the next one is Rainbow going into the Everfree for training. Or when boring stuff like sitting in a hospital bed is timeskipped.
Basically, if a chapter flows into the next, no timestamp. If it starts a new arc, or timeskips, timestamp it.
8546900
Agreed.
As much as I hate other kids acting like brats and I'm fine with corporal punishment I wouldn't go around laying my hands and physically punishing children who aren't mine.
He's really been stepping out of bounds a lot of the time and most of the time and repercussions are played off jokingly, assuming he gets any.
8546923
Probably a far better solution by far. I think this one might be far better off that what I currently did.
8546970
Okay. I am going to do something I have never quite done before.
Irrevocably defend Raegdan's actions.
As much as he had no business entangling himself into what punishment a child should face and despite the fact that you shouldn't lay a hand on another's child, there is one very important context to consider; the children in question were going into a literal forest of death, at the drop of a hat, for shits and giggles. They could end up dead at any moment. We've seen them enter it just to look for a chicken or to just look at some apple trees. If he deserves repercussions for something, I certainly don't think its for slapping three kids once on their butt as punishment for risking their lives in the Death Forest without telling anyone.
8547000
If we're talking about context then to be fair if what the girls are saying is true then Zecora, the person who lives in the forest of "death", somehow manages to keep the path clear, the follow it and have done it multiple times staying on the path.
While it is a danger to go into the forest obviously without telling anyone, it's not like they're running in blindly exploring the forest for shits and giggles. They're going along the one safe route to the one safe place to visit the one person who manages to live in that place safely.
Nice to see a flurry of updates, enjoyed these chapters, even if it is a little early in the morning for me to wrap my head around some of them!
Also, while not hugely bad, I think the headings stating character and time are unnecessary, and I also like to work out the perspective from what is written rather than having it told to me. No worries though, whatever you do is cool. Great chapters!
8547052
Aye. But then you got Raegdan who knows there are more in there than just regular monsters, things that come up rarely but the forest is chock full of. Evil things that can come up only in one in a million. But that's all it takes. One. It is a "safe" path only as long as it is safe, and you can never know in a forest of magic when it will stop being so. He wasn't angry because they didn't tell anyone, he was angry because not only they went on their own, they didn't even tell anyone. As safe as Zecora might make the path, they are still going in the Everfree. Safety is relative. I wouldn't let my kids go in there because of the notion that the path is safe enough. They'd be lucky enough to see the outside world when they were eighteen if they pulled that stunt!
8547075
I live to serve.
8547000
Most concerning to me is Raegdan's hypocrisy here. If anyone were to lay a hand on Twilight or Spike, for any reason whatsoever, they'd find themselves short an arm if they were lucky. Yet when he does it he's justified.
He knows a stern talking to and punishment from Applejack and Rarity and whoever Scootaloo's guardian is would have done the trick, but he's giving the Elements that he and Luna fear so much reason to question his judgment of what actions are necessary vs excessive which is already the cause of their wariness of the two.
Raegdan already has a call to arms against him; should he and Luna prod too much without concern for those around them they will endanger themselves and shatter the already frail image they've been building of being protectors and not monsters. Fear and hatred are the greatest motives for violence against a threat.
8547052
Applejack was traversing a supposedly safe path as well in Chapter 39 when delivering her farm's apple stock. Then she was ambushed. This was all despite the work the Lunar Guard put into culling the monster population threatening Ponyville and the trade routes to make travel safer. The Everfree is a place with a reputation for unpredictability; there is a reason not even Zecora wanders about outside her home for longer than necessary.
Raegdan's frustration seems to lie in the fact that Applejack and Rarity are obviously not doing enough to dissuade the CMC from doing something they wouldn't live to regret, and he wishes to save everyone heartache in the long run by disciplining and putting the fear of God into them for not thinking before they act.
His reasoning for this is two-fold: first, he wants to ensure Luna's happiness and make her feel that her and her Lunar Guard are making an impact on the safety of the ponies she's charged herself with protecting. If three fillies related to the Elements of Harmony, friends of hers, were to turn up missing or dead like so many she couldn't save in the centuries she wandered slaying monsters and razing Equestria's threats to the ground, imagine how devastated she would be! Especially if this were to happen almost right under her nose in the very forest she'd put so much blood and sweat into depopulating! She'd likely dissolve the Lunar Guard then and there―believing their efforts fruitless, pack her bags and isolate herself in Canterlot Castle again and we'd be back at square one.
The second reason is because Raegdan wants to drive the point home that there is only pain at the end of a poorly thought scheme. If the CMC are comfortable enough to venture into the Everfree, a place of horrors and death, without any kind of adult supervision, then they are begging for Darwin's Law to drag them kicking and screaming into the belly of the forest. If that path is unsafe just once, if they are caught unawares just once, then the Crusaders take their crusades to pony heaven. It only takes one time.
8547184
Bernie Sanders.
8547120
This is a bit contradictory.
8547242
No, It's not. Not even slightly. The fact they were in there alone is bad enough. But what if they were to vanish and never come back? NOBODY would have any clue where they were, in the event that a search party needed to be sent out. That's why the simple inaction of not telling their sisters made it so much worse.
8547000
Wait... he only slapped em ONCE?! Jesus christ, how strong is he?
8547120
8547052
Alright lets just skip the fact they are going into a forest of death and address the punishing of others children first. It seems to me that over time parenting has.. well for a lack of a better term, degraded. Im in my late 20's (it feels better to say that than saying 'Im almost 30...) and growing up in a community for me meant everyone took an active role in raising the children of said community. You fucked up and you could be looking at getting punished thrice. First by the neighbor that caught you. Then by your mother when said neighbor dragged you back to your house and then finally your father when he got home from work and heard the story from your mother. These punishments btw all shared one common factor: an ass whooping. Little kids are shit bags and sometimes the only way for a lesson to get through to them is for it to be beaten into them.
Honestly no one batted an eye in my day so I didn't even think it a problem untill I saw some disagrements in the comments. I mean come on if I were AJ I would tan their fucking hides for that nonsense or are you all forgetting the manticore they killed that always stalked AJ while she was trying to deliver apples.
"Nothing bad has happened and we always go to Zecora's!"
Fuck that thought process, familiarity and complacement like that will get you killed, hell remember in the show where a cockatrice literally stoned Twilight? Moreover all of them have direct first hand experience with that death trap; the manticore that they faced in s1 e2, timberwolves, gah
/rant
Oh and with the whole time notifications on the chapters they didn't bother me any, wish I would have read it earlier just to guage if the transitions were confusing without them.
Raegdan’s stare turned her way. “Water: The Sequel. That’s what she means
And by water he means he "marked" Zacora's property. The way wolves mark their territory.
8547410
You seemed to miss the part about me not having a problem with corporal punishment.
Even so, a person should not be hitting someone else's child without the explicit input, supervision and trust of said parents and guardians.
There is also the hypocrisy that Bearded. Brought up.
8547540
Look at it this way, if the parents/guardians aren't doing enough to keep children out of trouble, then who's job is it to make sure they get the point? If AJ, Rarity, and RD don't make it clear enough that the CMC going in alone is EXTREMELY BAD then it's up to someone else to do so. Honestly I see what was done as a much more direct version of a kid trespassing at midnight in an abandoned/condemned building and the cops dragging them home. Sure there's the addition of a SINGLE slap to their ass, which is far from enough honestly, but it's otherwise the same.
TLDR: Parents/Guardians don't do enough, someone else has to, even if they have to do it without the parents "input, supervision, and trust".
Holy shit, how did I miss these updates?
8547730
Going "well the parents aren't keeping them out of trouble so I guess it's my job to HIT them."
You want to keep them out of trouble, fine.
But don't hit children that aren't yours unless you're 100% sure the parents are fine with you doing it.
8547242 8547343 8547410 8547730 8547851
My personal opinion stands in the region of 'special circumstances allow special exceptions', and I suppose as one of the people who did get the crap kicked out of him by both parents and fellows, I didn't feel it was problematic. HOWEVER, these are all excellent points! In fact....
Ah, you'll see soon enough if I can get it in a good way!
(if there was one thing that would make a discussion go on, I never would have betted on on this though)
8547349
Spoken like a man who never got a well-deserved slap. Trust me, your mother could do it easily. I know mine did. Doesn't take much to do a perfect handprint. It's all in the shoulder.
8547940
No no, I got my ass beat a number of times. But I got slapped anywhere from 5 to 10 times, and never got that kind of bruising.
8547981
Bah! Lovetaps!
8547988
Hardly. But my over-sensitivity to pain back then isn't the point. The point is that Raegdan is freakishly strong if he can do that with a single smack.
8548000
Well, he is that, true. He hasn't been living a sitting life, and if you take notice, the few times he is mentioned by other humans in interludes or his memories/flashbacks a common theme is that they all say he is BIG or gigantic. I'm gonna refer to that later on, but his height is basically about, without his armor on, 215cm give or take. That translates to a pinch over 7 feet.
great chapter and dang i got suprised 3 chapters from yesturday that i apparently missed well done. and finally an carakter that can teach those cmc manners off not telling there elders where they going.
8547343
I meant self-contradictory. "Raegdan wasn't angry because they didn't tell anyone, he was only angry that they didn't tell anyone?" That is the literal definition of contradiction.
8548130
Hold on, that ain't what I said. This is slander! SirReal! I'm aghast! I counted on you to keep it real! (heh)
I think you missed the "not" there.
8548139
i.imgur.com/81RtnIG.jpg
And concerning me missing the "not", it doesn't really change the overall meaning of the sentence.
It's an argument of semantics in regards to that statement because I was feeling particularly cheeky when making that comment, but to say that "not only" was he angry about the CMC leaving without supervision, but that they did so without telling anyone they'd be leaving means he is still angry about them not telling anyone. This is something explicitly stated not to be the case, contradicting the first part of the comment where it's said he "wasn't angry because they didn't tell anyone".
It's muddy ground, and ultimately inconsequential, but it doesn't sound right when you read it aloud due to this. And for the record, I always keep it real! Except for those times when I don't.
Raegdan, I know you're an omnicidal force of nature that has terrorized the stars for centuries and heralded the end of countless civilizations, but disciplining three fillies? Now you've gone too far!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
8547851
Agreed for the simple reason that it's a great way to go to jail. And probably get labled as a child abuser and/or sex offender. Smh
8547410
Sounds like you had a good rearing. That's the problem with a lot of young adults and children these days, way too lax parenting.
8547410
>It's okay to beat your kids if they deserve it!
God I hope you never have children.
8548896
>It's okay to maliciously twist and oversimplify another's words if they have beliefs dissimilar to my own!
God I hope you never have children.
Well, that took a lil bit of effort, but I managed to catch up!
8547410
Guess I did miss that, so what would you do if you come across a child whose parents refuse to administer any kind of physical punishment and the child blows off all verbal warnings and time out punishments?
8547487
Wow... I did not realize he marked her house like a dog to deter Timberwolves...
8548896
Come off it mate, you special snow flakes see a child getting whipped for bad behavior and instantly assume the child is being abused. But let me stop for a second and see if I can't understand your point of view.
I take it that you were a saint among children. That you didn't try to test your boundaries as a child. Your parents told you no once and you listened. You were never hit because when your parents sat you down and told you to stop you actually listened. Now as an adult you've discovered some poor children are actually struck when they disobey! Surely they are just being hit without being warned first, you yourself used to be a child and you listened when your parents said no so obviously the parents aren't telling them anything. They're just frothing with rage slapping children left and right.
If this is you I truly wish for you to have a child like youself that does not press boundaries. Because I pressed my boundaries as a kid was told no, then pushed straight passed my boundary only to get slapped back into place. I had a former best friend who liked to push his boundaries as well except he was never physically punished. It started slow and gradually but by the time he reached adulthood the ones to finally put him in his place ended up being the police. You fail to raise your kids right and teach them their boundaries and somewhere down the road someone is going to do it for you. I rather it be the neighbor I know across the street than the officer called to scene.
You know, I. I'm all for setting boundaries and talking with kids and time outs, you know actually doing the good parent thing.
I'm also all for equal consiquenses, going into the death Forrest without an escort is a monumental act of stupidity, hell going there in and of itself is monumentally stupid, so I'd say ragain did good here. The consiquenses fit the punishment, like teaching little kids not to go into the road, getting hit by a car would hurt (not to mention be deadly) so a slightly red backside would be appropriate.
8549150
That is literally what he said, though.
8549728
>you special snow flakes
Anddddd there it is, ladies and gentlemen.
I bet you still think the world loves Trump and that "dem triggured libruls" need to stop crying.
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/trigger-the-libs
>When conservatards embarass themselves to "trigger the libs"
>I rather it be the neighbor-
"Yeah hey Jimmy? It's Mike, my kids are being rowdy again, next time you see them in the neighborhood can you physically assault them to teach them a lesson? Nono it's fine, it's just "discipline". Yeah thanks."
8550812
No, that's what your strawman of him said.
You overlooked the argument that he made stating children were punished for doing presumably idiotic and dangerous things simply because he said sometimes kids need to be disciplined in order to learn not to repeat said risky behavior. On top of this, you distorted his argument into a two-dimensional, substanceless husk of what it was to make it easier for you to strike at it instead of coming up with a proper, thought out counterargument that would warrant discussion. Grow up and you could debate these things, not attack others for not subscribing to your point of view. That destroys any grounds for conversation.
Your sloppy retort, despite its short length, impressively was a massive logical fallacy, as it targeted the person instead of the argument (ad hominem fallacy) and misrepresented his message (straw man fallacy). I may not agree with him on all the points he's made, but you don't see me or anyone else debasing him for it out of childish spite.
8550975
You story not only has a nice way of bringing up moral debates but also keeping readers despite them severly disagreeing with Raegdan's choices to the point of hating him. Good for you, one day Im going to start writing again and hope my story ends up being as engaging as yours.
8550863
Thanks mate but I guess Im over it, any more posting and Ill just be poisoning the well as apparently he doesn't want to have a discussion with some Child beating Trump Supporter. Though I find it funny that somehow I've been branded a Trump supporter. To be honest I know nothing of politics and have no interest in getting worked up over them. As edgy as this sounds I rather not be labeled in anyway, it detracts from the real me as it allows people to formulate an opinion on me solely based on assumptions.
*cringe* yeah that definately came out all myspace emo
Poor poor CMC.... they totally deserved it though.
8551763
Well, it is a good way to go on thinking. I mean, you have seen all those debates on how you must do all you need to do to survive, victory is what matters, all that? Here it is! Personified! Some of his decisions have merit, some of his thinking does, but you need to decide which and how much. Then you have the fact of how much decisions and choices affect someone, if he all a single label, all that. He isn't meant to be loved. It's more of a sympathy or understanding of the devil I'm trying.
Do be sure to give me a heads up on when you do or if you want to talk out any ideas. I'm all up for that.
8551763 8550863 8550812
Now come on, I think we all know what each other person meant even if it wasn't typed in such. One side means that according to his own rearing and experiences a spanking or a slap or two are valid means of discipline. The other means that this is a dangerous view to adopt that can get children really hurt. Both are valid and I think we can both quite agree that it all relies on culture, environment, the children in question, proper choices, the parents, the other people that might aid in rearing, and a thousand other factors, which is of course what the kid in question has done. No one here would say "punch the litle shit because it talked when I didn't want it to."
Let's not go down into insults and "villainizing" kind of arguments here. Most people have a good head on how to raise their children and it's all different. I once got thrown into a corner once and received quite a number of kicks. Considering I was stupid enough to light a bed on fire while under it I say I deserved it. I almost killed myself in a horrible fashion, and I almost burned my house down. My father pretending I was a cockroach was the best response. I sure never fucked up quite that much after that, and I never thought of anything more of it than, "yep. Deserved it." My little brother never got whacked but that's cause he never did anything worthy of that.
Other people I know never did and are quite great. Others could do with a good slap even now. It all relies on judgement, which of course can err. The best solution of course is to know as much as possible, and as always keep the violence as last resort and most severe punishment they can receive. As for other people "putting in a hand" that again depends. I'm sure Beardedredmane's neighbor for instance wasn't some unknown, and I don't believe for a second he advocates for random people on the street whacking children. Same as i don't believe Tokai advocates worshipping every child's choice and making them realize one was wrong by giving them only half their alloted candy unless they promise not to do it again. Let's assume there is some reasonableness in each until proven otherwise, eh?
8552581
Indeed, neighbors when I grew up were not strangers or mere aquaintences.
As far as playing catch with ideas that would be pretty awesome as soon as I get it more polished. I wanted to try a H.I.E. with some world building and to achieve that have a group of 5 or 6 friends thrown to the far corners of Equestria. Though I do have a worlds cross comedy stewing on the back burner.