• Member Since 9th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Dec 23rd, 2020

Cheesecake404


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The citizens of Equestria are no strangers to the strange and unusual, especially when it comes to the Everfree Forest. So when the most dangerous creatures start mysteriously dying no one thinks it's unusual. In fact some believe there's someone or something protecting them. The ones who do call it 'the guardian' and speculate as to what it is. But all it is, is just a human who watches over Ponyville's inhabitants who wander in to the forest, and keeps hidden to protect himself. However everything changes when he meets an injured little filly named Applebloom.

Proofread by Regreme

Note: This is NOT a Sniper Elite crossover.

An Anthro HiE story, remember it's your choice to read this. Don't like it? It's your fault. But constructive criticism is welcome.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 341 )

Pretty nice! Have a like. Also, the opening seems a bit rushed. While pretty nice, these scenes are pretty short. The scene where AJ tries to go out and save AB in particular. detail needs to be a bit more frequent. Also, how did the jet and vans get there? He rolled down a hill. Not crashed a plane with vans in it.
So yeah! If this a first timer, really good, not-so-new, average, year+, expected more, veteran, disapoint. I assume its the former though..

This seems like an interesting story. I'll keep track of it. Hope the next chapter comes soon.

I'm actually playing the third sniper elite right now :rainbowlaugh:

All of the potential...

Finally, a Sniper Elite Crossover fic. Well, that's what I thought at first until he mentions a C-130, but story is fantastic nonetheless. Please continue.

Once again the ponies are gonna judge someone as a monster, just because their different, "friendship is magic" my foot.:ajbemused:

6268506 "friendship is magic" your foot? ...:facehoof:
more please!

6269009 "Love and tolerance" indeed:trixieshiftleft:

6268506 it says "friendship is magic" but it dident say "racism is bad for ponys" so they yell at innocent things for doing absolutely nothing.

Nice nice.
Aside from a few spelling/grammatical errors (of which I am currently too tired to point out.), this was really good. I am looking forward to the rest of the story!

not to bad of a start only problems i have are the already mentioned C-130, vans and hanger thingy. mainly wtf they came from :rainbowhuh:
you haz tracking get

I'd really like to see him dishing justice with DC-e5.4 fiber optic scope... But meh...

Just a heads up, that Mosin-Nagant doesn't have the right bolt handle to be used with that scope. Other than that, it is a good rifle that is pretty cheap.

Haha, someone noticed the same thing on the DeviantArt page.

I like it by the way what rifle is he useing ?

This is about to get real interesting.

Indeed :rainbowlaugh:

Before the manticore could get any closer a sound like an explosion came out of the forest and the manticore howled in pain. The manticore stood it's ground and closed in raising it's paw only for another mysterious explosion to hurt it. This time the manticore turned around, as he did there was a third explosion and it's head was blown apart.
The two stallions stood there holding each other for a moment before Midnight asked, “W-what just happened?”
“I don't know.”
“Do you think it was the guardian?”
“You believe that? That's just an old mare’s tale.”
“How else would you explain what just happened?”

If I could get over a creature getting shot in the head after two sentences of dialouge, it would make my life a lot easier.

...But seriously. This pacing is giving me whiplash.

When I saw the cover image I thought for a second this was going to be a Sniper Elite V2 (or 3) crossover but I then notice the lack of a crossover tag, the C-130, and the main character isn't called Karl Fairburn. However I am still interested in seeing how this story will pan out.

6270681 yeah that was a pic from v2. fun game if a little frustrating at times.

Damn this is good. I hope that this gets updated on a regular basis and not left to die for some reason.

fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/127/1/3/thor_and_mlp_meme_for_fimfic_by_ponpheonix-d64fsvg.jpg

As long as he's got Applebloom next to him, David shouldn't worry too much about the townsfolk. Children make the best meat shields

is this the kind of story that it is sooo good that after it gets featured it never updates and starts updating a year later?

6268506 be vewwy vewwy qwiet, I'm hunting hypocwicy!

((In case you can-t read Fudd-speak, that says, "be very very quiet, I'm hunting hypocrisy!"))

6270859 that joke was so terrible I laughed. And felt bad about laughing. Which made me laugh more.

*reads chapter*
:fluttershyouch: Ehhhh......
I'll be honest here, the chapter could definitely use an upgrade. Things like the pace (going from 'introduction of the human' to 'the reveal to the mane 6' in one chapter is pretty fast, though that's my opinion) and the more pressing grammar issues (like where commas could and should be placed).

Overall, the story is okay. I wouldn't call it the best or the worst rendition of 'human sniper in Equestria'. I'll track the story, but I ain't gonna keep my hopes up.

Have a good day/night, and good luck in your endeavors.

You know what? I LOVE THIS STORY.:flutterrage: Please say that there will be more soon:applecry:

It's like you mind-jacked me and stole this idea/plot from my head. I shall be following this story :D

Seems interesting, but you are really gonna have to adress where that shitload of vehicles and supplies came from. Sooner rather than later would be ideal.

remember it's your choice to read this. Don't like it? It's your fault.

I was about to read it and offer you constructive criticism, but then I saw this.
Fuck you too.

How is it someone's fault for not liking something?

6271119
I believe he meant that for all the trolls and haters that inhabit this place called the internet. I would not like it if they went rampant on a story I wrote for the sole reason that they "didn't like it".

Also, of fucking course its your fault! Its your decision, its your choice, its your brain saying so! It defiantly isn't his, because why would he write something he doesn't like?

6271201
I don't think you understand what the word "fault" means.

You can't know for sure whether or not you'll like a story until you read it. Or are you agreeing that it's everyone else's fault for not having psychic powers before they open the story?

A pre-emptive "go fuck yourself" like that only makes the author look bitchy and insecure, and it has no place in the story description.

6271222
I was implying you read it.

But it seems not. And yet, my point still applies. It is all your decision, not his fault. Weather you read it or not, just means you haven't found out yet.

I agree however, its rude to put something like that. But it is his story, not yours.

Seems interesting, but feels rushed. Also, how does Apple Bloom know that the food was pre-packaged? They've shown no signs of that in Equestria, so that'd be a new concept for her. And also, lots of areas could be described a bit better.

But, other than those issues and some proofreading, it's a decent start.

6268506

Yeah, how dare those horrible ponies be suspicious of a strange, cloaked figure with glowing, yellow eyes who lives in a (to them) utterly unnatural place filled with dangerous creatures. Obviously they should have welcomed her with open arms. :ajbemused:

Sarcasm aside, while what they did was bad that does not mean they didn't have a very valid reason for acting that way. If you saw someone approaching you while concealing themselves and you knew they were from a bad neighborhood, then could you honestly say you wouldn't even slightly be suspicious?

As for the story itself, my biggest complaint is how does he have all of those vehicles with him?

Actually, now that I think about it, why didn't Zecora just introduce him to them? He's obviously friends with her, so there's no reason they couldn't have done that.

Honestly, the more I think about it the less I can see any reason he'd stay in that forest instead of going into the town.

I can imagine it now,

David : Hello! Take this girl back, she was wandering around in the woods and I-

Ponies : Phukinmonsterrrsgotapplblumfuuuuuuu

That usually happens.

My only complaint about this story is no second chapter.(i like everything thing else so i can't wait for second chapter)

6270589
Yeah, the way it is setup currently, the bolt would only rotate partly up before it hit the scope. This rifle could never be completely cycled.

Ok you good sir have my attention on this fic. I will follow.

Am I the only one confused with how he ended up in Equestria? I mean I get that it states he fell and hit his head and woke up there, ok. But how on earth did vans, supplies, and a C130 end up there with him?

Don't like it? It's your fault.

I know what you're saying here, but you should really reword that.

6271395 Snrrt :rainbowlaugh: ... sorry, that's the noise I make immediately before uncontrollable giggles :twilightblush:

6272106 Magic or not, the Hercules is a big ass bitch! I've flown in them before! Ain't no magic that's gonna be transporting some unconscious guy and then decides "let's transport these cars and a plane bigger than a house with him." haha

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