• Member Since 22nd Apr, 2014
  • offline last seen January 25th

DEI Caboose


T

Princess Luna decides that risking the lives of the Elements of Harmony time and time again is hardly the most sensible or strategic response to the threats Equestria faces, leading her to seek an alternative solution, one which will ensure Equestria's protection in a more efficient manner.

The vagrants and outcasts of Equestria then find themselves presented with a proposition, one which could ensure their futures and prosperity... Assuming they survive the tasks requested of them that is.


Additional tags: Princess Ember, Bon Bon / Sweetie Drops, Changeling.
Old Cover Art
TvTropes Page

Chapters (15)
Comments ( 315 )

That 's an odd cast: why would Starlight leave her current position as Twilight 's student to join Luna 's suicide squad? Isn't Trixie doing better with her shows? How did Luna recruited Sonata from the portal? And why would Ember, a dragon Princess, bother with all of this? :applejackunsure:

This seems interesting. Not a lot of pure villains on the team like the Suicide Squad, but more like a few jerks and/or old bullies with a few token good teammates. I'd like to see how Luna handles their recruitment and if she'll keep them in line the same way they did in the film with explosives or some other way.

Kewl premise. I'll be interested in how this develops. Lots of ponies to choose from to fit this type of team.

7494701 a good question that I hope will be answered

Equestrias very own suicide squad!!

I like this. Now it's time to assemble the Aveng-er oops, wrong world. Guardians of- no not that one.... *Taps chin* How about M.A.R.E.S? Mares Assault Recon & Espionage Squad? I cheated and used something I had in a fic of my own. :raritywink:

7494924 Yeah suicidal cause they work for Luna. :rainbowlaugh:

7494959 yeah that is eardrum suicide in itself

7494991 lightning: rubbing her ears with her hooves* WHAT DID YOU SAY?! I CANT HEAR YOU!!

........HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Sorry......Love the idea, proceed with the Suicide Squad Pony Style ^~b

Now this is gonna be good!:pinkiehappy:

I love this premise. I have not yet seen the full movie, but I found about half of it online (don't ask) and loved it. If the comics share any similarities at all, this will be good.
But I have to agree with many people. Sonata, a pre-"No Second Prances" Trixie, a Changeling alcoholic (Captain Boomerang?), and Lightning Dust all make sense. Ember, Starlight, and Bon-Bon (Sweetie Drops, whatever) do not. Unless Bon-Bon is Rick Flagg, that might work. But seriously, Garble would be a better choice for a dragon, especially to represent the Killer Croc type team member. This is, of course, assuming your cover image is something you made or had commissioned specifically for this story, and is not a huge mislead.

7495646 Garble was actually part of the original lineup (As was Gilda) but I removed them simply because I found Ember to be the more interesting character with the better personal story to tell. The story I had planned for Garble I gave to another character.

I'm also not actually trying to have this squad just be expy's of the actual suicide squad (Bon as Flag, Luna as Waller, etc.) I was more just inspired by the general concept. I've also tried to justify just why these characters may or may not agree to this whole idea in the first place, and let's just say some aren't going to be happy once the stakes start ramping up.

Ah, the framing chapter an age old staple of literature. Anyway so far this alternate universe(cough, cough) has got my interest keep up the good work.

From the desk of: M.Hatter

I'm actually not surprised at how quick Lightning Dust accepted Luna's offer (even before she heard it!). Given your setup here, I think Lightning Dust was in such a low funk that she would have taken anything. Let's see if that enthusiasm lasts...

I find it amusing that Rainbow Dash gave an unbiased report. She can be painfully blunt without even thinking about it. Also kinda sweet that Rainbow seemed to have stuck up for Lightning a little, even if it didn't help.

I'm now wondering who it will be that will kick up a stink about joining Luna's little squad. I have one in mind but I'll hold off in case I'm totally wrong.

Interesting. You have my attention.

Nice! Not bad at all. I like it!

I was going to do a Suicide Squad story with Luna, Trixie, and Lightning Dust awhile back but shelved it until recently and have been working on the first chapter...now I guess if I do it I'll be just treading over ground of what someone else has done. Darn, wish I had been a few days faster.

OMG this looks like this is going to be a good story:rainbowkiss:

7498606 I'd say go ahead with it if you really want to, it's not like the concept is my wholly original patented idea. Besides the casts, general settings and story development are going to be completely different anyway so it's not like we'll be copying each other.

Plus, a squad story by you is one that I want to read.

I made a story called Disharmony Squad a year ago but I since canceled it but it's still available to read.

OMG! This was great! I loved it. Luna's reaction was funny too. But it's nice to see Sonata having a bit of freedom from her sisters' control. I always thought she was the more innocent type of Siren.

Interesting enough, Sonata was the only Siren to think about the consequences of becoming overlords of a whole world, namely the tiring responsability of governing it.

I'm only on Chapter 2 and I'm already completely invested in this story. I can definitely see the inspiration that comes from Suicide Squad but I like how you make the story your own and not just copy paste it such as making Luna a direct Amanda Waller clone.

Though there are a few minor grammar errors, but that's buried under all the detailed writing. Needless to say, I am giving this story a follow and I'm eager to see how it goes.

Well, the best character is here! You can stop the story now. I give it a solid 10/10!

But in all seriousness, I really like the characterization and interactions between the characters in this story. I like how each character (Lightning and Sonata) so far each have their own motivations for taking on Luna's suggestions. And Luna herself is another plus to this story. I'm glad she isn't anything like Amanda Waller and is kept more in character where she displays kindness and empathy. It really goes towards humanizing (ponynizing?) her. There really is a lot of potential for character development in this story if that's the route you want to take with it.

Keep up the great work! I'm anticipating more!

how interesting. I wasn't sure why she was a pony in the cover image, but this makes sense. i'm glad you finally got to watch friendship games, its a pretty good film. i'd rank it in the middle of the three that I have seen (at the time i'm typing this, I don't believe Secret of the Everfree has been aired yet). I do think in some places this chapter felt a bit rushed, though that may have been just sonata's way of thinking and talking. I would encourage you to take your time anyways, I wasn't expecting another chapter for a couple of days and i'd prefer quality to quantity. I would also like to see more of discord in this story, since he would make a great counter to luna's seriousness.

7500786 I suppose the rushiness is down to the fact that I was basically cramming every first act of every 'x in Equestria' story in existence down to 3000 words, that and Sonata's rather basic perspective on things is rushed in itself, though I think that's rather in character for her.

Regarding Discord though, don't expect for him to be around for very long if at all, I tend to avoid him simply because his very presence is a deus ex maxhina in the making.

Next chapter will be more structured though, as it is the debut of one of my favourites.

7500870 deus ex machina? mm, yeah I suppose. though it depends on how you write him. I was thinking for one of the recruiting scenes, or a between missions kind of thing. he would show up just to poke fun at luna the same way he does twilight. looking at his episodes; return of harmony, keep calm and flutter on, princess twilight sparkle, three's a crowd, twilight's kingdom, make new friends but keep discord, what about discord, and... that's actually it so far, he hasn't appeared in season 6 at all yet (I have not watched the latest episode, please no spoilers); anyway, in all those episodes, his own power was used as a deus ex machina exactly once, to defeat Tirek, and that didn't exactly go as planned. with him, the trope Rule of Funny seems to be the best way to go. he would be a great inclusion for if things seem to be going down too dark a path... or, if you want things to seem really dark, have discord himself get serious. introduce a threat so powerful even discord can't snap his fingers and fix it.

7501088 I do have a plan for a small Discord appearance, but his overall role will be pretty minimal so that I can focus on the main cast of characters. I do also plan for an extensive series of 'suit up' chapters so to speak and Discord along with a few others will be appearing around then, that I can guarantee.

Might we see him way down the line though? Well... Spoilers :raritywink:

7499400 Oh? Anything in particular you'd expect from a Squad story by me? :rainbowlaugh::twilightsheepish:

Also, thank you...not sure I'll be able to muster it together at this point, but I'll still try.

7502057 I just really liked We Remember Everything (Though I have yet to finish it) so I'm always eager for more Trixie and Luna.

7501115 dude- or dudette, I've no idea- I just watched the latest episode, and if Thorax is not the changeling on this team, I will be a little upset. :pinkiehappy::raritystarry:

7503203 I'm honestly super conflicted about that, Thorax is a great character and would fit in well with the story but I already developed another changeling character with a backstory and everything since Thorax didn't exist until three days ago. Thorax's creation will have an impact on this story however, it makes this changeling's inclusion so much easier.

Can't wait for more!

You're building up quite the universe here, I must say, and I am very intrigued as to whom is next on Luna's list.

You're doing spectacular! GIVE ME MOAR!

media.giphy.com/media/11t9sYRP19MFd6/giphy.gif

Here i was worried Bon bon would need to be convinced after Lyra was hurt or something. Glad I was wrong.:twilightsmile:

Luna = Amanda Waller
Dust = ?
Sonata = ?
Bon Bon = Rick Flag

Keep up the good work!

Bon Bon's reasoning of Celestia was a perfect bit for her. It showed her loyalty to Celestia and kept true to both characters. I like it.
Also, Luna was adorable sleeping like that. I wonder how often she tries to steal confectioneries, if I had to guess her dream.

I'd suggest you go with Thorax, but if you can't I think the audience would be okay with a cameo or a reference.

I would stick with your original plan but have them aware of Thorax. That way you can use hi as you see fit and not alter your plan that much.

I have a bad feeling about keeping it secret from Lyra.

Also, there is one typo that you may want to fix:

leaving Bon Avon contemplatively standing upon the stairs.

I don't think Thorax is all that awesome. He was pretty boring and generic (as was the episode). I think that now that the show's canon has opened the doors for more legit changeling characters, it could be a good opportunity to make a character that would actually be interesting. Something better than "oh, we're all evil, but I'm not, I wanna be fwiends". I'm sure Thorax could be spun to have some depth, but the show might use him again...

Login or register to comment