• Member Since 16th May, 2015
  • offline last seen February 24th


If you happen to cry, I will be there. If you happen to smile, will you do the same for me?


With Twilight off at a conference, Spike is ready to host the greatest O&O session of all time. One problem: none of his regular gaming buddies can make it. And they're sending substitutes.

Special thanks to Themaskedferret, ChappedPenguinLips and FloydienSlip for editing.

Chapters (4)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 106 )

normally I don't mention editing stuff, but this is something you probably want to fix:

Uh Oh.[i/] Spike swallowed. “Umm, sort of?” He flashed a guilty smile as drops of sweat covered his face. “She’s actually the princess we are supposed to resc—“

“A princess?!” Rarity’s eyes widened as she stared with adoration at the small figurine. “Oh, Spikey-Wikey. You made a princess just for me? You really are the sweetest dragon in Ponyville.” She rubbed his cheek with her hoof.

“Err, that’s right!” Spike’s smile widened. “I made the character just for you!”

there was an oopsie with the italics right after Spike says "uh-oh".

and now that I've read it- god I wish I could get involved with something like this again. this was so much fun! :pinkiesmile::twilightsmile:

Humm OK so Starlight is the Twink, Ember is a KCD player, Rarity has over detailed her character, Applejeck is exploiting have read the manual and Marble is blessed by the RNG.

I'm confused since I'm not a D&D player but you have my attention.

nice chapter i really like how Spike has to pretty much re-write his campaign
hope to see the next chap....

This is kind of amazing...

Hmm this is labelled complete but it's very... not


*Reads story*

*Sees Complete tag*

Ha ha! That's pretty funny. You accidentally missed the Incomplete tag. Hahah, nice one Lise~

Let the GAMES BEGIN ! :moustache:

:trollestia: With a room full of mares you'll have nothing but games!

:derpytongue2: Head games!


:facehoof: poor Spike, I left him all alone....


Fine, you blackmailers! *sets story to incomplete*
Happy? :P *goes back to sleep*

Please write a sequel. I really want to know what happens next. Like maybe the next O&O session having all the players who couldn't make it coming and having to deal with the wild party that is their substitution squad.
EDIT: I just saw the 'Incomplete' status now. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Oh dear. *cue uncontrollable giggling*

Comment posted by Inugami deleted Oct 7th, 2017

yeeeeees Goooooood
But really the story did not feel like it finished
Have a good night bruv

I mean, I felt like this story was complete. The initial scene shows how bad it gets while the rest of the story explains how and why. We finish with a nice bit of spike tempting fate. where could future chapters go? There'd be some good banter, but it feels like the punchline would get lost.

oh man...the pain watching Spike going through as the DM was unbearable especially when some of those things happen to my stories xD

Owlowisicious being curious of O&O?

Well you didn't post a new chapter with it XP


Oh boy. Can't wait to see how this keeps going wrong for Spike.

First rule of being a Dugeon Master/Oubliette Master: Nothing survives direct contact with the players.
You may have options A, B, C, and D planned out, but the players always end up choosing option Triangle.

I hate option triangle:flutterrage:
I prefer option potato because the GM never sees it coming:pinkiehappy:

So true!
I used to DM a Dark Heresy campaign and one of the guys always wanted to mod weapons, like dct taping a bundle of grenades together.

This is something my players are always doing, and I, for one, LOVE IT! When they force me to think on the fly, to twist the adventure to fit what they just changed, while still keeping the storyline intact, it's a thrill to any good DM worth their salt.

spike at one point you have to remember as the GM it's your duty to countermand op dice rolls.

I wish my players would do this more often. I Plan for A, B, and C, always expecting M, Q, and :derpyderp1:. And then they ask me to tell them what to do, and when I continue to insist that it's up to them, they spend half an hour debating before finally coming up with plan A.

The Predictability is insufferable.


monsters or rules

but i felt that there was enough hand holding in this for me to enjoy it.

you got the personalities down pat. didn't expect marble pie though. because all the female characters you've chosen could be slashed with spike. i eagerly await ember calling on rarities bullshit/ treatment of spike.


Reads story

Hm... Time for my thoughts as a D&D addict.

1) Who the hell uses a d8 system?
2) Curse you Starlight, you min-maxer!
3) Curse you AJ, you Metagamer!
4) Curse you Ember, you cheater!
5) Curse you Marble, you lucky monster!
6) Curse you Rarity, you... um... uh... checks notes you seductress!
7) And curse you Spike, for being a spineless DM! Gotta keep order and wreck your players, not play soft ball with 'em! C'mon, they're level 10? Send some Mindflayers at them, or a couple copper dragon, or how about.... uh... reads something 42 goats accompanied by 49 giant goats... which are evil, for some reason. Just send them and make it tough!
8) This campaign is gonna fall apart sooo fast.
9) Again, who uses a d8 system?
10) Love the story, need more of it in my life.

I don't know ANY system that uses that. Hell I can't even find any evidence of using that system in the show!!

Therefore, Author-san I must ask: WHAT MADNESS IS THIS?! O.O

The rules very clearly state that whoever kills the monster gets the prize, plus corresponding experience.”

Oh Celestia. This sounds like a fantastic way to never have anyone play support classes ever. :raritydespair:

I actually like the 3D8 system, gives a nice probability curve and all.

Poor Spike will go through his baptism of fire here, but I trust he'll emerge as the rightful tyrant he needs to be:moustache:

Well, the show must go on. Spike smiled as he started selecting monsters for the group’s next encounter. Besides, what’s the worst that could happen?

Somewhere totally different, Discord stood behind Spike, gazing through his Scouter. The Chaos level. Its over 9000. :pinkiecrazy:

In the last weeks game, my character distracted an entire cavern of Apprentice Mages, with a few guards, with a ferret. The ferret is a familiar, specialising in Trouser Hunting. He ges +12 in intimidation. :yay:

It sounds like just a horrible rule in general.

I don't have any knowledge of D&D, but this is certainly funny. Can't wait for more hijinks

Oh dear Neptune... Marble Pie is a dice god....

Like, I played a healstick in the last campaign I was in. There were exactly two encounters where I actually killed something (both late game war sequences where I kinda sorta drowned an entire army or two >_>) and I doubt my party would've been happy if I stayed a lv1 cleric with 8 HP and two 1d8 heals a day for the whole thing.

Yeah, Which is why I call bull crap on that rule. There's more to the game than killing stuff. You shouldn't penalize the support classes.
Worse, if you just give the xp to the person who kills the monster, then every one will start fighting over who gets the killing blow, driving a wedge in between your players and ruining their teamwork. Eventually they're going to start killing each other over kill stealing...and then you've got to give out the xp for that too.:derpyderp1:

I've long been fascinated by role-playing games though I've never had the chance to participate in any. I've watched it a lot on TableTop on the GeekandSundry YouTube channel. (Ember's bad dice rolls reminds me a bit of Wil Wheaton's similar issues with dice. :rainbowlaugh:) Though personally I would have liked to have seen the players describe their characters and stuff, but maybe that could be in the next chapter. Either way, I look forward to the next installment to see how this role-playing session goes down hill. Keep up the good work. :pinkiesmile:

To be fair there are plenty of tabletops where you're actively encouraged to backstab your friends like that, and I get the feeling Discord wouldn't have missed that for the world.

They just don't typically have varied classes.

Poor Spike. He sent a rock monster against a Pie, what did he think would happen?

Spike should feel sorry for my group, because I'm the principal Starlight.

And I'm also the principle DM.

(I once ran an encounter (for a party six-plus nearly seventh -famailiar with fifty enemy combatants, of which thirty-five were all casters, manifesters or martial adepts. It took us four sessions (eight hours) to complete. Probably won't repeat that experiment, though...!)


Eh. Play with the majority of the same crowd for twenty-five years, and you can pretty much predict where they'll go.

(Actually, in all seriousness, my group is actually very good about not going off the rails most of the time, which is good, 'cos I'm the opposite of a freeform DM.)


That's AD&D for you! Arbitary restrictions (hey, nonhumans would like to be restricted to level 5 or so for picking a non-steriotypical choice and a level cap even if you pick a steriotypical one?), cluny mechanics (THAC0), nonsensical rules (and, if you ever have the absolute misfortune to read the psionics rules, the most arse-backwards counter-intutive mechanics that I've literally ever seen, which indicated the psionics rules saw THAC0 was counter-intuitive and told THAC0 to hold its beer).

Which is why, when D&D 3.0 came out in 2000 or so, my AD&D books have never been used again in anger, and only opened occasionally to amuse me, reminiding me why they don't. AD&D was, frankly, a frack-awful system mechanically[1] and the few times I did run it in preference to Rolemaster, it was after tossing out a lot of the arbitary restrictions.

(Now, in fairness, I'll be the first to say 3.x/PF has a lot of other flaws that need to be fixed, and my 3.x/PF hybrid house-rules are so significant that I actually call what we play 3.Aotrs, but the base engine - especially the multiclass system - I feel is so good it was worth improving on[2].)

[1]I have zero nostalgia for AD&D, since unlike a lot of folk, it wasn't my first RPG, or even mu second, but a distant forth behind HeroQuest (the MB games version, that is), Rolemaster (only toppled from system of choice by 3.x and still my secondary) and Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay. (Actually, thinking about it, I've probably played more WFRP than AD&D, unless you count the computer games.) So I don't have fond memories of playing in college with gaming buddies or something, since by the time I was in college, I'd been playing Rolemaster for seven years, having started as the youngest of the group. (At least two of whom I still play with every week after over twenty-five years...)

[2]Don't like 4E much. I am quite content to be a player in it when someone else is DMing for a change, but I won't run it. While it is, in fairness, mechanically sound and does exactly what it sets out to do... I just don't like what it sets out to do, because I'm more of a simulationist. (I willing play Rolemaster, for frack's sake.) Of 5E, I can say only that nothing I've heard about it inspired me to give it a passing glance. (Especially with Pathfinder stuff being around and freely cribbable, something I'd feel guility about if Golarion wasn't the only campaign world I ever buy sourcebooks for just for the fluff.)

3.x is fine at early levels, but speaking as someone who recently finished a 1-21 campaign in it, it shows a lot of cracks in midgame, and by endgame it's an unrecoverable mess of one hit kill rocket tag and WAY too many stacking buffs to keep track of. People just explode too suddenly, and until level 18 that carries an XP penalty that can set you back several game sessions and indefinitely delay progress.

Case in point, at one point our barbarian had a duel with another barbarian who was designed to be a rival with roughly the same spec. They self-buffed with items and cooldowns, rolled initiative, and charged with full power attack, rage, leap attack, pounce (lion totem), keen swords, improved critical, flame bursts on crit, etc. The enemy won initiative by one point, made the roll, took almost a minute and a half to check all the modifiers and add up the damage, and instantly splatted the barbarian for about 150% of his max (raged) HP. Then the DM remembered that since this was a friendly duel they would be rolling at -4 for non-lethal damage, which made one iterative miss and one critical fail to confirm. After taking that into account and recalculating the damage, our guy survived with 10 HP out of well over 200. Our barbarian does the same attack, rolls a couple points better, and splats the other guy for well over his max HP instead.

The thing is, this wasn't an isolated incident. This is how basically every nontrivial encounter had played out for half the game by then, up to and including one minor accuracy modifier being the difference between no sell and death. Level 10? Razor boar that does piss-all damage, except he instantly decapitates you on crit and has an attack modifier nearly as high as your AC to confirm it. Level 7? Mind flayer that can doublecast large cone high-DC stun attacks that last several rounds and always ambush you in narrow single-file tunnels because they canonically know exactly how bullshit they are. Late game monsters get full attacks with 6+ hits that can easily one-round armored characters, especially if they're smart enough to wear gear, and just about everything has ridiculous Dex and will get initiative on you. Important story bosses would frequently get oneshot in the space of a single mounted charge before their encounter could even play out or any strategy could be employed. Player characters would get shredded before they could input commands, and they'd lose up to a level and a half of XP -- at the rate it took fights to play out (a small pack of barbed demons literally took two hours because every action had minimum 4 buffs and barbed demons trigger counters every time you look at them funny), that could have been as much as a month's worth of weekly sessions. Instant kill spells that destroy remains are introduced much earlier than appropriate resurrection spells. And it just goes on and on. It'd be one thing if this happened rarely and meaningfully on a lucky crit or something, but it was continuous. And the way to counter it was inevitably always the same -- put up the same buffs, dispel/sunder their gear, machine gun quickened rays of enfeeblement/exhaustion before someone died, wait for one of the melee to smack it for 100+, and don't bother with direct spell damage because everything except the party has absurd saves and/or spell resist. There was a clear optimal strategy and not really any room to even prepare anything else.

It got so bad that the DM eventually held a major questline in the underworld where level loss explicitly didn't happen, just to push us from the low teens to 18 for True Resurrection. It really seems like it was tuned for short dungeon-as-a-campaign that start at X level and end a few levels later with half the party dead, not for a full 1-20 thing that tries to tell a coherent story with a consistent cast.

4e figured this out but took it too far in the other direction. Healing was overtuned so badly that a lowbie fight with a pack of kobolds could literally take hours.

5e is good IMO -- it simplifies the right things, and stops 3.x's more obnoxious parts while still being playable. Most buffs and modifiers are simplified and don't stack (and the ones that do are typically "you physically hand someone an extra dice to add to a roll"), penalty on death is more manageable, and damage flow in general isn't this ridiculous wood chipper with no off switch.


That combat encounter I mentioned? That was in a 16th to Epic campaign. I have no problem with high-level stuff - though the fact we play with WAY higher stats that the average (and these days, max hit points) probably helps in that regard as does my players, if not being the same level of mid-high optimisation are always willing to listen to those of us that are. The parties I run for usually have six to eight characters. I also have a few tricks up my sleeve for dealing with anti-climatic boss fights (something called the Defiant Template which basically gives, for each application, a monster an increment of its hit points (which is can spend to Ironheart Surge away Bad Stuff) and a save reroll (at the cost of effecticely a negative level)... And my PCs are usually pretty darn tough.

So I find it works for me - at our paradigm - far better than anything previously.

(The fact that, in our Epic game, the Fighter and the Monk were contributing shuld say something.)

In fact, the only time in recent memory I accidently nearly killed one of them (that they couldn't; fix after battle) was at LOW level in an offical module where they had at about level 2, a creature with a high strength and a falchion. (If I hadn't remembered it was power attacking and thus failed to confirm he'd have been splatted.)

As I say, i also play Rolemaster. Willingly. (And the Rolemaste version we play is ALSO a monstrous house-ruled hybrid of about four editions or something.) And in Rolemaster EVERY level is rocket tag level. In fact, I literally gave up on boss fight in RM because there was no point, after sending a maxed-out cybernetically enhanced ridiculously equipped super NPC and later the most powerful monster I could find plus the highest tech weapons (okay, they DID use their starship to win that one)...

Looking forward to this


Speaking as someone who has played much Desktop Dungeons, I can confirm, goats are inherently evil.

Also, story is painfully accurate.

This hits a little to close to home. Beautiful.

Rarity and roleplaying is a dangerous combination.

i think ember is the one i'd be most frustrated with. the others are fine, just a bit overpowered. but her? not understanding the difference between reality and imagination? ugh.
Also, why does spike have a crush on marble? I can understand starlight, ember, and applejack, but not marble.

Oh right, I forgot that you were blackmailed by the dark powers to continue the story that you decided to write more. So far so good. Poor Spikey-wikey hope he has more luck next chapter.

:fluttershysad: I dunno. It's really funny and I like it, but I keep cringing for Spike's sake. I'M SO CONFLICTED :raritycry: but in all seriousness: I feel for him. We players love to take the DM's carefully crafted plans and ruin them. Violently. With fire. And sometimes bs and fairydust

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!