• Member Since 29th Jan, 2015
  • offline last seen Sunday

Fanfic27


I write inventive fanfiction that takes place across numinous universes

T
Source

"Fearing the actions of a god-like pony left unchecked, Ponyville's own formidable, forceful vigilante takes on Canterlot most revered, modern-day savior, while the world wrestles with what sort of hero it really needs. And with Zapp and Matter-Horn at war with one another, a new threat quickly arises, putting ponykind in greater danger than it’s ever known before."

Chapters (21)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 58 )

If we get to 100 likes I will start on a Suicide Squad pony version

Is there going to be the usual hating on starlight or are you going to try and add actual depth to the character?
also i would love a pony version of Suicide Squad.

I like the idea but there are a lot of grmarical issues with this. Maybe you should get a proofreader?

I do like the story and I will keep up with it! So swears I!

Hey there. Thanks greatly for getting this story started. I really appreciate you going to the effort. Excellent work on the exchanges, emotional content and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I must admit though, I kind of respectfully disagree with the casting for Batman. Rainbow's alter-ego, if anything, is closer to an Expy of Thor (though maybe with elements of Iron Man if the power is more technology based), which is about as far from Badflank Normal as you can get.

Still, I'm mature enough to accept and respect that this is YOUR story, so the casting is YOUR call. And, I will still look forward to more of this as soon as time and inspiration will allow.

6880928 I Will eventually add depth to her

6881407 Thanks for your criticism. if you want to know more of my casting check out my blog for this story

Hey there. Thanks for getting the next chapter up so quickly. Admittedly, the chapters ARE short, but I still appreciate you going to the effort. All I can politely ask is that you please try a little harder to not copy the clips and trailers TOO much. Yes, I get that some copying is necessary to keep it recognizable, but maybe the characters could have a equal part their canon personalities and the characters they portray. Plus, maybe there could be a scene somewhere along these lines (MUCH) later on:

Zapp: I will say this about you at the very least; you ARE punctual.

Matter-Horn: I make it a point to always try VERY hard to NOT be (starts shivering with a noticeable eye twitch) tardy.

Matter-Horn: I read A LOT about you, Miss Zapp.

Zapp: Normally, I consider that much reading to be a little too eggheadish for my taste, but I still get that going into a fight with a being as powerful as you unprepared would NOT be cool; just stupid.

Matter-Horn: Look, I would rather talk this out first BEFORE it comes down to violence.

Zapp: You think I'm stupid enough to fall for THAT? Somepony like you is WAY too powerful to allow to go unchecked. And this is not the first time I've fought a god. As a matter of fact, my ARCH-ENEMY is a hopelessly insane mass murderer with high level reality warping powers. (beat) That sounds a lot cooler than it actually IS.

6882944 I sorry but I promise the next chapter will be at least a thousands words long and will be of my own ideas and not from the clips and trailers that we already seen before.:rainbowdetermined2:

Perfectly all right. I understand how real world concerns must take priority. Anyway, as for how Matter-Horn and Zapp could meet, maybe a robot duplicate of Matter-Horn (with technological substitutes of just enough of the real Matter-Horn's powers to fool most ponies) could publicly frame Matter-Horn for an atrocity that is guaranteed to attract the attention of both heroines. The real Matter-Horn defeats the robot fairly easily, but the robot ends up self-destructing in such a way as to leave no evidence the heroine can use to clear herself. What's more, the robot self-destructed JUST before Zapp arrived to see it, meaning the other heroine arrived just in time to get the wrong idea.

But, I will admit it is just an idea (and not a good one at that). I'm sure somebody else can come up with something better.

So is this Starlight as Lex and if so, interesting. :twilightsmile:

Thanks greatly for getting the next chapter up. I really appreciate you going to the effort. Excellent job on the exchange, emotional content and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I'll definitely be looking forward to more of this as soon as time and inspiration will allow.

Can anyone help me with a design on an armored Zapp suit that I will need to use when they eventually fight and also a name for Matter-Horn's home planet

Thanks

Go ahead and give Zapp a vehicle, as long as it is clear that the vehicle is VERY RARELY used. I mean, she can ALREADY fly faster than sound UNDER HER OWN POWER. She has NO NEED for vehicles (though she COULD have a gadget built into her costume to temporarily increase her flying speed in the event of a BIG emergency). Plus, maybe it could be clear that most of her gadgets are for instances where her weather control skills would actually be excessive (i.e. she's usually trying to capture her quarry alive; conjuring up a tornado and lightning storm combination to catch a purse snatcher would almost certainly more than qualify as unnecessary force, but a precision weighted throwing weapon and/or a sleeping gas capsule is just right for dealing with said purse snatcher), but against an opponent as powerful as Matter-Horn, she can pretty much go all out guilt free. Okay, she might HAVE a vehicle in case she breaks a wing, but that should be the ONLY time the vehicle gets used.

At any rate, as usual, the chapter is pretty short, but great job on the exchange, emotional content and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I'll definitely be looking forward to more of this as soon as time and inspiration will allow.

6916711 Thanks for that and if it's no problem do you mind if you can come up with a creative armored suit for Zapp when she faces off against Matter-Horn(or should she not have one?) and second what do you think I should name Matter-Horn's home planet?

The reason I comment on any feedback is because I want this story to be fun, enjoyable, and an experience for you the readers, so I love to receive feedback on this story whether its negative positive or neutral I need to understand what you like in this story and what you dislike

Thanks and keep the comments flowing

6916904 Yeah. It DOES make sense for Zapp to have a special armored suit for fighting Matter Horn.

As for Twilight's home planet, maybe you could you BonFaust (as a homage to both the original creator of the MLP franchise AND to Lauren Faust).

Also, Maybe Twilight could wear a outfit in public that hides her wings so she looks like an average unicorn in her civilian identity (after all, there are only three other adult alicorns on the planet, which would make it a heck of a lot easier to figure out her secret identity if she were known to be an alicorn in both of her identities).

******

Plus, here's is a possible idea for a later scene:

Celestia: Twilight, I've known you since early foalhood. I've helped Night Light and Twilight Velvet raise you. I've helped you learn to control your powers when they first started surfacing. I can tell when you have something important on your mind.

Twilight: How did YOU do it, your Highness?

Celestia: Excuse me?

Twilight: How did you earn the trust and respect of most of the general public? I mean, you're literally powerful enough to single-hoofedly move a cosmic mass MUCH larger than a planet on a twice a day basis, and ponies don't fear you.

Celestia: They used to, Twilight. It took several years, but through hard work, determination and frequent displays of compassion, charity and optimism, I was able to turn things around.

Twilight: In other words, you're saying don't give up, no matter how bad the situation might get. If I stick with it, things will eventually change for the better.

Celestia: Indeed. But be forewarned; while most laws ARE generally common sense and intended for the greater good, there ARE certain overly obstructive bureaucrats who won't hesitate to bend the law as much as possible without actually breaking it all in the interest of serving their own egos.

Twilight: So, don't go breaking the law without a very, VERY good reason, but don't get so caught up in the letter of the law that I forget about the spirit of the law. And while I shouldn't let bad laws get in the way of helping good sentients, I should also only strike against certain beings if I have solid proof they are doing something really bad.

Celestia: Again, correct.

******

Then again, if you don't like the ideas, I profusely apologize for wasting your time.

6917078 Thanks I will use that scene you suggest for the chapter after this one

Hey there. Thanks very much for getting this next chapter up. Again, you could use work on making your chapters longer and NOT making your chapters TOO much like the actual clips, but all the same, great job on the exchanges, emotional content and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I'll definitely be looking forward to more of this as soon as time and inspiration will allow.

6918646 Speaking of I have cast Darksaid

NIGHTMARE MOON

6919334 Thanks. And here is some more potential casting:

Dinah Lance/Black Canary (probably not in the movies, but she WAS a founding Justice League in the Post-Crisis Pre-New 52 comics): Fluttershy/Mare-Do-Well (as opposed to her Power Ponies role of Saddle Rager)

Jon`n Jon`zz/John Jones/Martian Manhunter (again, probably not in the movies, but WAS a founding Justice Leaguer in the pre-New 52 comics AND in "Justice League: the Animated Series"): Zecora/Maretian Marehunter

And, since you are casting Nightmare Moon as Darkseid, maybe you can have Chrysalis passingly mentioned as a Clayface analogue.

I figure having a couple of heroes who probably AREN'T going to be in the movie would be a nice way to make at least a minor difference already from the actual movie series. However, if you don't like the idea, I profusely apologize for wasting your time.

Oh, and thanks greatly for the watch.

Oh, and thanks greatly for getting the next chapter up, AND for liking my exchange idea enough to use it. Both are really appreciated. As usual, excellent job on the exchange, emotional content and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I'll definitely be looking forward to more of this as soon as time and inspiration will allow.

6919606 I will be working on a MLP Suicide squad story called Disharmony Squad and it will have Chrysalis and some other villains in it to

Comment posted by Fanfic27 deleted Feb 11th, 2016

Hey there. Thanks greatly for getting the next chapter up. I really appreciate you going to the effort. As usual, splendid job on the exchanges, emotional content and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I can't think of much for an action scene, but I have thought of SOME stuff:

1. Matter Horn trying to calmly reason with Zapp before the fight actually starts, but Zapp makes a comment about how Matter-Horn is too powerful for her to trust and she prepared a particularly powerful arsenal just in case the two of them ever actually met.


2. Zapp trying to hit Matter-Horn with a lightning strike [super-charged by some sort of gadget] and a tornado [boosted by a speed-enhancing gadget], as well as some strength-enhancing horseshoes [since she isn't as young as she used to be, she has to be more high-tech, ESPECIALLY against such a powerful opponent]), before pelting Matter-Horn with a super-super-glue bomb

and 3. Matter-Horn easily breaking free of the glue before using her own powers to stop Zapp's tornado before anybody gets hurt and then comments "I've read a lot about you before coming here. Given your background and profile, I expected you to be paranoid enough to try to strike at me first, even if I tried reason first. Still, I had to at least try reason. I don't particularly mind you trying to attack ME, but I would prefer you didn't use attacks that pose a sizeable risk to innocent sentients." before opening a jumbo-sized super-powered can of kick keister on Zapp and adding "I'm begging you. For your own safety, PLEASE stay down."

But, if you don't like the ideas, well, I completely understand and I still look forward to more of this as soon as time and inspiration will allow.

6926470 Extremely awesome ideas I will use them and give you credits for it

Hey there. Thanks greatly for getting the next chapter up And for liking another one of my ideas enough to use it. Both are really appreciated. As usual, splendid job on the exchanges, emotional content and future chapter set-up in all the right places.

6929028 Hello I posted two new blogs one is the schedule of my stories the other is what Doomsday will look like

Hey there. Thanks greatly for getting the next chapter up. I really appreciate you going to the effort. As usual, excellent job on the exchanges, emotional content and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I'll definitely be looking forward to more of this as soon as time and inspiration will allow.

6931984 Please view my 2 new blogs I made to see future events

6932682 Yeah. I saw them. I'll post some stuff when I actually think of something to share.

Anyway, thanks very much for getting the next chapter up. I really appreciate you going to the effort. As usual, very good job on the exchanges, emotional content and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I'll definitely be looking forward to more of this as soon as time and inspiration will allow.

Hey there. Thanks greatly for getting the next chapter up. I really appreciate you going to the effort. As usual, excellent job on the exchanges, emotional content and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I'll definitely be looking forward to more of this as soon as time and inspiration will allow.

Excellent job on the exchanges, emotional content and future chapter set-up in all the right places, once again. Well, on to the next chapter.

Once again, very good job on the exchange, emotional content and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I'll definitely be looking forward to more of this as soon as time and inspiration will allow.

Hey there. Thanks greatly for getting the next chapter up AND for liking another couple of my ideas enough to use them. Both are really appreciated. Once again, the exchange, action, emotional content and future chapter set-up are ALL well done in all the right places. I'll definitely be looking forward to more of this as soon as time and inspiration will allow.

Well, the grammar isn't the greatest, but the ideas do come through.

Hey there. Thanks greatly for getting this chapter up. I really appreciate you going to the effort. The exchange, action, emotional content and future chapter set-up in all the right places. Well, on to the next chapter.

Once again, very good job on the exchanges, emotional content and future chapter set-up in all the right places. Now, I have an idea for close to the end.

At the appropriate point Miss Mare-Velous can explain to Matterhorn and Zapp "Since trust is important to beings such as us, I'll trust YOU with something. That so-and-so Glimmer brainwashed my younger foster sister into helping her. I want to save my sister, but I admit I'm going to need help."

That is, of course, assuming you like the idea enough to use it. If not, I profusely apologize for wasting your time. Well, any way, on to the next chapter.

Hey there. Thanks very much for getting the next chapter up. I really appreciate you going to the effort. Once again, very good job on the exchanges, action, emotional content and future chapter set-up in all the right places. Now, I have one last suggestion:

In an epilogue scene (after Flash has been rescued and Apple Bloom has the brain-washing that was done to get her to help Glimmer undone [assuming you like the idea I put in my last review enough to use it]), Mare-Velous, Zapp and Matter-Horn can comment on how if just the three of them working together were able to accomplish what they did, imagine what they could do with the organized teamwork of lots of other heroes, with cameo appearances of Aquamare, Cyborg, Radiance, Filly-Second, the Mare-Do-Well and the Maretian Marehunter all in action separately (i.e. Aquamare battling some pirates at sea with her seaborn strength and the help of some telepathically controlled squids and whales, Cyborg using cybernetically enhanced strength, a built-in sonic cannon and an impressive mechanical interface ability to battle some killer robots cooked up by the Flim Flam Brothers over in Manehattan, Fillisecond taking on a battle armor enhanced jewel thief [the battle armor grants not only augmented strength, reflexes and durability, but also has a built-in freeze gun. flamethrower and weather domination device] with her super-speed over in Fillydelphia, Radiance fighting off an alien invasion with the aid of her power gem in deep space, the Mare-Do-Well using martial arts skills and a sonic scream power to battle a street gang in Griffonstone and the Maretian Marehunter using her super-strength, flying ability, intangibility, shape-shifting and telepathy to battle a full-grown Ursa Major in the Everfree Forest)

That is, of course, assuming you like the idea enough to use it. If not, I profusely apologize for wasting your time and still look forward to more of this as soon as time and inspiration will allow.

Thanks for getting this chapter up. I really appreciate you going to the effort. Once again, very good job on the exchanges, emotional content, action and future adventure set-up in all the right places. I'll definitely be looking forward to more of your work as soon as time and inspiration will allow.

Hey there. Again, very good job on the exchange and future adventure set-up in all the right places. I'll definitely look forward to more of your of work as soon as time and inspiration will allow.

Thank you all for you support it has really helped me stay positive about writing and my future stories

6942916 Oh, you are quite welcome.

An enjoyable story.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!