• Published 19th Aug 2016
  • 6,595 Views, 315 Comments

The Undesirables - DEI Caboose

Princess Luna assembles a team of Equestria's most undesirable inhabitants in order to deal with the problems too dangerous to risk the lives of the Elements of Harmony.

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1. Something New

Her tea was remarkably soothing, flowing down her throat quicker than a pouring waterfall and tingling the itchy feeling that pestered her throughout the day. Princess Luna knew she would need to praise her hoofmaiden the next time she saw her for her efforts; their time together may have only been brief yet her loyal servant had yet to disappoint her.

The time for that would need to wait however for the night was dark and the castle was fast asleep, resting under the shine of the moon above. The lone Princess sat upon the balcony of her private tower, gazing up to the shining stars above and the twinkling lights of Canterlot below. Such a sight it was, a sight which Luna always laid to appreciate. Candles, gaslights, lanterns, neon signs, their glows all blended together, shone and reflected against the grey and scattered clouds. Sometimes it was impossible to tell which was brighter, the stars or the city. Some would wonder but Luna however didn't particularly care, the scenery was too mesmerising to ponder such trivial matters.

Tonight however was different. Thoughts plagued Luna, dark thoughts which despite her efforts to dismiss continued to linger, clouding her vision and souring her mood, her prior feelings of serenity suddenly seeming like a distant memory.

Equestria had been attacked again, in the heart of Ponyville by some creature suspected to have originated from the Everfree Forest. The damage it had caused was extensive with various buildings needing to be restored, though thankfully the number of reported injured was minor to the point of being effectively nonexistent, a miracle which put Luna at ease. It had almost been a complete disaster however, the wedding she and Celestia had been invited to was almost ruined entirely.

Had either herself or Celestia been aware of the attacking creature the second it had appeared it would have never made its way beyond the Everfree border, Luna would not have allowed it. But alas it had and now the citizens of Ponyville would have to once again recover from yet another catastrophe.

This was becoming far too frequent for Luna’s taste.

The day was however saved thanks to the efforts of the resident Elements of Harmony, once again jumping into the fray to save their home, family and their friends. They had done such a good job that neither Luna or Celestia had become aware of the incident until after the wedding had gone ahead as planned and they were promptly informed about it over tea. Celestia had laughed it off with her former pupil and dismissed the situation as a consequence of the town's close proximity to the Everfree forest, commending Twilight Sparkle and her friends for their swift response.

Luna had not joined in with the festivities.

The Elements of Harmony were civilians. Farmers, bakers, veterinarians and dressmakers. Yes, they were civilians gifted with a magic beyond comprehension, but that didn't make them any more expendable than anypony else, yet whenever danger struck it was not Celestia or even Luna herself who rushed off to battle, it was the Elements of Harmony and their Princess in training.

That was something Luna refused to condone any longer.

Her thousand year absence from Equestria had left Luna ignorant of the common customs and expectations of its citizens, but despite all that, Luna refused to accept Celestia’s ‘armchair’ approach to defence. In the days of olde it would be her and Celestia leading the charge, sisters united in the pursuit of peace. Now that had changed. Celestia had soldiers, personal students and now even the Elements of Harmony at her disposal. “The old ways are no longer needed’” Celestia had once told her, “Equestria needs leaders who lead through peace, not strength, not through displays of power.”

Luna rolled her head at the memory, annoyed by her sister's words. While Luna accepted that the times had changed and so she must do the same… Some things just lingered. Luna was always the warrior of the two, a strategist at heart, perhaps that was why these thoughts plagued her so? Perhaps Luna wished to return to the role she used to play in Equestria, no longer needing to pretend she was simply Celestia’s sister, identical in every way that mattered.

Her head fell low and Luna found herself looking across the city once more, yet it did not appear the same. As if a switch had been flicked, the Canterlot of light and glamour Luna had gazed out upon mere seconds ago was gone, replaced by something seedy… Heinous. It was as if Luna could see every darkened alleyway, every fearsome figure, laid in waiting, ready to pounce.

That was the Equestria Luna knew.

She had taken it upon herself to protect the realm against the creatures that wallowed in the night, in the shadows and in the foliage of the blackened forests and decedent ruins. Luna routinely ventured out to do just that, often at times forgetting to lower the moon in morning as she returned to the castle matted in sweat and the grim of her enemies. One such glorious battle had culminated in the discovery of Tiberius, her fiendish opossum companion, but that was a story for another time.

Luna’s ventures into the dark weighed upon her conscience heavily, every night protecting against the monsters reduced to simple fairy tale stories to many, though Luna knew firsthand that they were anything but. It was Luna’s duty as a Princess, one which she carried out with great exuberance. Yet after today, one bug-bear slipping past her watch… Perhaps there was something else she could do, something more. Another line of defence for the citizens of Equestria, one which did not rely on the magics of Harmony or risk the lives of unwilling combatants.


Something different, something new. Ponies who fight for the better of Equestria and for the betterment of themselves in the process. As a princess Luna was able to be persuasive, able to bend others to her will and illuminate new paths to pursue, that would be how she would acquire her manpower. She would not rely on the Royal Guard however, they were seasoned and veterans yes but their discipline and methods were just as much a liability as they were a strength. If Luna was going to go about this, it would be on her terms, her rules, her methods.


This was an idea worth looking into.

Author's Note:

Image source

Here we have a squad, a squad of deplorables, misfits and miscreants doing a thing nobody wants to do for ponies they don't know with teammates they don't like.

It's going to be a long trip.

Anyway, yay new story! Chapters are going to be short and sweet, I'm basically writing this whenever I can.