• Member Since 28th Sep, 2012
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Meta Four


I didn't write any of that.

T
Source

A compendium of sketches of far corners of the multiverse. Ideas that were amusing enough to write down, but not quite meaty enough to build a full story on.

Marked "Complete" because each chapter is a standalone story, but I will be adding more stories as inspiration strikes. In spite of the "Teen" rating, most stories should have "Everyone" content; stories with actual "Teen" content will be marked with a [T].

Yak Attak: In which Ponyville is already home to a couple of immigrants from Yakyakistan. With them "helping" the mane six, the diplomatic visit with Prince Rutherford goes in a rather different direction.
That's my name ...: In which a cross-eyed pegasus breaks the census.
Dewey led a very interesting life, you see: A feghoot.
Veto: Two weeks after the attempted Changeling invasion, something surprising happens at the Equestrian Senate.
From Canterlot Boutique with Love: Another feghoot.
The Cutie Relapse: Starlight Glimmer and her teacher have an unpleasant but necessary meeting.
... don't wear it out.: Pinkie Pie takes a cliché very, very literally.
Change(ling)s and Forms: After Spike befriends Thorax, Twilight discovers that changelings are even better at blending in than anypony suspected.
Between a Spike and a Hard Place: AKA how "Princess Spike" should have ended.
When all you have is a spell book ...: Stupidlight Glimbutt gets a lot of mileage out of her new favorite spell. [Teen]
The Longest Line: Twilight Sparkle (not our Twilight, but a Twilight none the less) passes through water and fire to see a friend again. [Teen]
I Am the Night ... Glider: Night Glider never forgave Starlight Glimmer, and now she's back to get her revenge. (Available in two wildly different versions.)
Domains: Regarding Luna's Moon, Celestia's Sun, and the difficulties of being the Only Sane Alicorn in the kingdom.

Chapters (14)
Comments ( 104 )

This fic funny, but good funny! :pinkiecrazy:

:rainbowlaugh:

The jokes just kept escalating! Have my props.

:rainbowlaugh:
Pity I didn't check on this before.

LMAO!! GO PINKIE!

I'm slowly dying on the floor laughing. HELP. :twilightoops:

I forgot about this!:pinkiehappy:

It's... well, it's just what it needs to be.:rainbowlaugh:

:rainbowlaugh:
You know, you wouldn't expect Rainbow to even know the Dewey Decimal system, but what the hay.

If a Roman Legion shows cowardice in the face of the enemy, randomly, 1/10th are put to death. Ponies usually get this wrong and believe that it is 9/10ths. The Master got this right when he decimated the population of the Earth (he killed 1/10th of the population of the Earth for cowing the remaining 9/10th into submission). It seems unlikely that ponies would know about decimation.

Dewey Decimal Classification System is a system for organizing books. It is strange that ponies would know about it. I wonder what-sort-of systems for organizing books ponies would invent.

6839533 The system of organizing books is the Dewey Decimal Classification System.

6840349

Yes, but ¿how did it reach Equestria? ¿How did a human-book-organizing system reach Equestria? ¿Why this particular book-organizing system?

To answer the question at the end, apparently said senator forgets that kind of tactic is only used for a special kind of person, mainly one who needs to go down...fast.

Ah, good to have this out.

Celly and Luna actually get to be regal and put their hooves down.:pinkiehappy: And everyone else is at least civil!

Of course, now we're going to keep expecting these of Twilight.:trollestia:

6841237 Ha. I hadn't seen that video, but Funko's unusual solution to censoring Derpy's name was my inspiration for this... thing.

That... de-escalated quickly.:trollestia:
Sadly plausible, though.

Well, at least the silly name didn't somehow screw up the mission.

May their names be revered for a thousand generations [...]

'Doh! Poor Flügel Snoot. :derpyderp2:

... I guess that's the downside of being a master of cartoon logic. Sometimes, it can backfire on you. :trollestia:

I just call her She of the Seven Bubbles. :derpytongue2:

Also, I deeply regret not reading this earlier. On to the rest!

Hooray, I contributed!

(I normally don't do the comment-per-chapter thing, but this certainly merited it. :derpytongue2:)

I am incredibly glad that I read these. Looking forward to more whenever they may come.

:rainbowlaugh: what the actual hell!!!

Baked goods mare is best pony!

That was actually reallly cute... in a really sad way but still.

At first, this just seemed like a pleasant little headcanon dump.

First impressions can be deceiving. :rainbowlaugh:

:rainbowlaugh:

I love how she knows but just doesn't care.

Kind of a stupid time to open one's mouth, but whatever.:rainbowlaugh:

Nooo, Twilight. Bad Twilight. :trixieshiftleft:

That's a sapient being, you can't have him / her - pardon sir or madam - as a chair. :ajbemused:

"But it's sooo comfy!" :twilightblush:

Not sure how they went from thinking Spike was passing on Princess Book Horse's wisdom to dispensing his own, but who's counting?:rainbowlaugh:

7560195 If they'd attributed the wisdom to Twilight, then she might have ascended again. I don't think Equestria could handle Princess^2 Twilight.

7560201

Can you really do that? Can you explode ascend twice?

7560554 Where do you think Discord came from?

Star Swirl's method was a little … flawed … at first.

7560571
7560554
If that happened, Twilight would somehow jailbreak it and make herself a draqonequus of pure order.

Then she and Discord would be required by ancient magical law to move into a house together and get into arguments and wacky hijinks on a weekly basis.

Oh dear. Someone's going to have to disconnect Cadence from the Akashic Records before she starts trying to unite the incompleat through unbelievably invasive surgery. Not it!

In any case, you've worked wonders with one of my least favorite episodes. Magnificent work!

7561744 I think "Princess Spike" was the only time an episode's ending legitimately made me angry.

Ever read Raugos' Randomus Draconicus? As a serious take on how "Princess Spike" should have gone, he absolutely freaking nailed it. And it helped me—knowing that someone else had already "fixed" the episode freed me to laugh and love again and turn the episode into a snowball of absurdity.

He say, "I know you! You know me! One thing I can tell you is you've got to pony!"
(Fight together, right now, in the street!> :pinkiecrazy:

Glad I found this collection - I just read through the whole thing!

And great callback to the Changeling furniture - I especially loved that!

Always the quiet ones.:rainbowlaugh:

Seriously, just gold all the way through.

7608716 What convinced me I had to include that last part was remembering Fluttershy's nice dream from "Do Princesses Dream of Magical Sheep". In fact, her last line before Starlight whammies her was taken verbatim from that scene.

For shame, Twilight. This is why you have passive mental protection going, especially if it's for a mind control abuse intervention.

Still, that's definitely one way to address the problem. I can't argue with the results at all.

7725406 A little bit of that, a little bit of Flutters' dream from "Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep", a little bit of an M-rated fic I read once about Twilight having a hypnofetish.

This is my new favourite name for this pony. Just saying.

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