“Past experience has taught me that telling other ponies about what I do is a bad idea.”
In this economy, it’s hard for recent graduates to find and keep a job. That goes double for a young mare fleeing the personnel of the insane asylum. This is the story, in Ditzy Doo's own words, of how she became a fugitive ... and how she found a place where she could stop running.
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This is a companion piece to Black Magic Mare, Roaming Queen. You should be able to read these two in either order.
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Cover art was slapped together from an art by Krololo and a photo by Chuckcars. Since the latter was released under a Creative Commons license, this cover picture is as well.
Mad props to my pre-readers:
Kuroi Tsubasa Tenshi
Sereg
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Chapters (1)
I am really liking this verse and your interpretation of Derpy.
She has had quite the interesting life before even getting to ponyville or joining the RSS.
So Derpy and Turner had kids, there's a story in there somewhere I take it.
Now to read the other story now that its finished.
Good song too.
What a great way to tell an old story anew! ^^
I bet this will get featured.
It's a delightful story.
Is there any particular reason, aside from formatting, that you want us to go to Google Docs?
I'm not seeing any reason why would anyone need to read the GDocs version. I initially assumed there would be some formatting that is important and not supported by FimFic, but all I see is a slightly different font.
Are those ponies in white suits supposed to have been sent by the RSS? Because it's ridiculous to take everyone who talks about nonexistent creatures to psychiatric hospital. You'd be apprehending every bighoof hunter, UFO nut and religious person.
Well, that was enlightening on several levels. I'm going to have to echo the uncertainty about why you feel reading the Google Docs version is better, but aside from that, another great glimpse into one of the most interesting Ditzys on the site and her descendants. Thank you for it.
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The story initially failed Fimfic moderation because of Ditzy's blatant disregard for the rules of capitalization. When I normalized her capitalization for the Fimfic version, the letter in the middle—the one where Ditzy uses normal(ish) caps to sneak in a hidden message—suddenly made no sense. So I had to cut it and Twisty's commentary on it.
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Oh. I didn't even think to check. Whoops.
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"There's a creature that no one's ever seen out in the woods somewhere," just elicits eyerolls. "There's a creature on your head right now that you can't see or feel," elicits smiling and nodding and backing away slowly. "There was a creature on your son's head that you couldn't see, so I took him somewhere to get it removed without consulting you first," provokes responses along the lines of "Get the hell away from my son, you monster!"
Even so, I agree that this does seem to be an unusual acceleration of hospital procedure. I mentioned that Roka was on the mental hospital's board of directors, so the reader could interpret that Roka was pulling strings to get Ditzy locked in a padded room as quickly as possible, if they think that makes more sense.
5764756 There is a big leap between "you are not allowed near my children" and nice young men in clean white coats coming to take you away haha.
She should get into a fight somewhere public causing major property damage while yelling about invisible monsters, assault or appear to assault someone important or highly visible while yelling about invisible monsters, appear to have an attack in a public place, or be implicated in a serious crime and try to justify herself with talk of invisible monsters in order to provoke that level of response.
A foalsitter taking their charge outside doesn't cut it, and your suggestion right now would make Roka pretty much a mafia boss with the orderlies as her enforcers.
I love it. Though just a little thing bugs me about the story.
From the extreme way that Ditzy reacts in Alarm Clock to the thought of going to an asylum I kinda thought she had been in one in the past. I had a little more evidence for that when she also seemed to know how to take off restraints as if she had done it before. I believe that seeing her committed would be a very interesting character development and was a little sad that it seems like your taking in in a different direction.
Though your a superb writer, so I expect whatever your plans are, they will be better than what I would have done.
It wouldn't have lost anything without the input from Ditzy's granddaughter unless you really like Derpy x Doctor Whooves which I don't. So....The letters themselves were good, they were interesting, but not pure awesomesauce or off-key comedy or heartwarming like your other works. I don't think they were intended to be, though. I also don't think what Ditzy said would have realistically got her pursued by orderlies, but I'm willing to push that aside because I like all the backstory that it adds to the rest of the Ditzy saga (which I adore).
Dang
It may be a while until this gets its own TV Tropes page, but this Ditzy is in dire need of an entry under The Woobie. And a fresh pan of my mom's blueberry muffins.
Are we going to see more of Roka? She seems to have a sinisterly wide jurisdiction for a single Mama Bear asylum bigshot....
This was a fantastic ride! I read the googledocs version as well, it does work much better!
Oooooooh, I didn't even register Ditzy was their grandma until the very last line.
Well played, well played.
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Hmm, I just noticed the fimfic version is missing the interjection about the capitalization code.
Specifically, the part from "I’m doing just Spiffy right now." to "I’d love to read what you uncovered."
The YouTube video linked in Google Docs is not available.
6375638 That's what I get for linking to a fan upload rather than the official music video. Here's a video that works:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFBpdVfpJiY
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Thanks.
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...Wow. This story has ZERO downvotes. Congratulations.
7260516 Shh! If you speak of them, they will appear!
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They haven't appeared yet...
OfficialCouple: Time Turner and Ditzy?
Couldn't you copy the formatting and stuff into this version now that it's approved?
Yep. Woobie!
Well, we know she'll turn out all right. And has grandkids! ... Wonder who her kids were and who they married...
I knew it!
Okay, yes, GDocs version is better. The bare message does not make sense; if it isn't, it fails safety.
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as it's not there to note…
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thr signature at the end does hint at that; it's a real shocker!
Ohhhh this was really really good. Though kind of questioning why just one incident of saying something odd would have the stallions in white coats and the hug yourself jacket beating down her door like that. Doubly so given this is Equestria, weird shit happens all the time, and even if Derpy's stuff is weird even by those standards. So, just one panicky mare ranting about her saying odd things, leading to that level of response and an Equestria wide mare hunt just.. feels so odd.
Would make a lot more sense if it was the specific words she used being reported tripped a few flags, and this was the agency Hooves works for investigating a potential security leak.
Beyond that, your derpy continues to be amazingly adorable.
Huh. o.O Why the great disparity between GDocs and this version?
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One of the mods wouldn’t approve the Gdocs version because of all the lowercase.
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That mod is opposed to fun. >:B
Unlike this one.