• Published 9th Jul 2015
  • 1,884 Views, 106 Comments

Their Variables - Meta Four

A collection of short one-shots about alternate universes and "What if?" scenarios.

  • ...

That's my name ...

Twilight Sparkle hummed a happy tune as she cantered down the street. She glanced over the stack of forms suspended in her telekinesis. Half finished already, she thought. And Spike said this would be boring! I just don’t understand him sometimes.

She approached the next house and knocked, then a gray pegasus mare opened the door. Twilight immediately recognized her from the “Welcome to Ponyville” party just a few days ago—she’d never gotten the mare’s name, but those misaligned, golden eyes were impossible to mistake.

The pegasus shook her head, hard. After finishing, she looked at Twilight with both her eyes and smiled.

Twilight extended a hoof. “Hello, ma’am. I’m Twilight Sparkle, the new librarian, and I’m—”

The pegasus, ignoring Twilight’s offered hoof, rushed forward to envelop her in a hug. Twilight couldn’t return the gesture—her left foreleg was pinned to her side by the embrace—so she settled for awkwardly patting the other pony’s back.

“Uh, thank you ...” Twilight said.

“No, thank you,” the pegasus said.

“Anyway, I’m helping Mayor Mare with the biannual census. Do you have a few minutes to give me information for the official census form?”

“Sure!” The pegasus released Twilight and stepped back.

“Okay! To begin, what’s your full name?”

“My name is

Twilight blinked. The pegasus just smiled back at her.

“I’m sorry,” Twilight said. “I didn’t get that. Your name is …?”


Squinting, Twilight said, “Did you say
?” The foreign phonemes felt like insects crawling on her tongue.

“No …” The pegasus’s face darkened, briefly. “It’s

“Um …” Twilight glanced between the pegasus and the empty census form. “How do you spell that?”

“First, make a bucket shape with the hole facing up. Then, make sort of a fluffy cloud shape on top of that. Maybe make some vertical lines for the paper wrapper. Then add a bunch of little points for poppy seeds, or big dots for blueberries, depending on what flavor you prefer. You got all that?”

Twilight held up the census form, whose “Name” blank now bore a small line drawing. “Is this right, Ms.

“Close. We just need to work on the shading. Now, decide which direction your light source is …”

Author's Note:

Source for the muffin vector.

Thanks to KuroiTsubasaTenshi and Yami Vizzini for pre-reading.