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David Silver


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Sequels1

Comments ( 2242 )

Uhh... I'm really creeped out right now. More so than that one chapter from The Apple Falls Far from the Tree.

Great. So much for sleeping.

Can't sleep, ponies will eat me.

5976105

Or ponies will just French kiss you.

Saw TatzlJack image, went reading.
No TatzlJack, misleading image is misleading.
Will track to see what happen.

This is, interesting. I will have to read it! :twilightsmile:

5976123

Given that this is chapter one and the main character nave only shown the tiniest symptoms of infection, I'd personally argue a bit of patience before calling 'foul' on that cover.

Personally I thought it a really solid start. For a zombie story it's near cliche' center as far as beginnings go, but that spin of 'with ponies instead' made it feel fresh and interesting again.

Especially the part with an earth pony tunneling around to get to people blind sided me completely, and this seems like it will be a really fun ride. :twilightsmile:

5976294
Maybe the image show that the MC will become TatzlPonies?

i would call this judgement day but seeing how the ponies are not really killing anyone I'll call it love and tolerance day, but all jokes aside what the hell is up with the earth pony? it reminded me of tremors, and this is some really freaky shit, people and ponies dragging you out of your cars and French kissing you like they were straight out of Paris

5976123 and now i'm curious what in god's name is a TatzlJack, i'm going to have to look this up:twistnerd:

well I know what it is now and I have to say
derpicdn.net/img/2014/1/25/534181/full.png

5976354
Not enough.....I have seen enough shit that it wouldn't be called hentai anymore.

I feel like there needs to be a bit more embellishment to set the scene, specifically with the dream, but nice stuff so far. I'll keep an eye on this.

*Pops out eye and leaves it on the story*

Don't touch it.

5976294

I know, reading this story made me really happy. I've high hopes for the future.

My favorite part this so far actually is the abortive dream with Luna where she gave up after a few seconds as a lost cause. That and the unicorn shooting itself.

Huh. I'm guessing the tunneler was a tatzlpony, otherwise the cover image doesn't make much sense. In any case, this is actually less disturbing than I thought it was going to be. I'm honestly relieved. Looking forward to more.

Oh, and one important note:

Thankfully my boss was not one of them. She appeared behind me...

...Enjoy the sudden vacation." He hung up without further word.

Either one of those needs to be changed, or the werehorse disease can cause gender changes.

hum not really sure about this one David.
I will be watching as I am sure you have a plan.
Harts Fire

5976478
5976123

It's a bit premature, but [tatzlpony hint] this is a zombie genre homage of sorts, can you really not recall a zombie type that might fit the cover image?

5976478 The first one was a manager, fixed!

5976567
5976382 I'll be doing my best to make it worth keeping an eye on. Do feel free to drop suggestions/ideas. I love feedback!

So it appears that different people have different 'turn' rates. That's fairly interesting, though it rules out critical mass turning, as at the very least there is a small delay, enough that an infected wouldn't join in the current attack, perhaps not even the next either.

As for people deciding to live the zombie survivor dream during day 0-1, willing to murder anyone that doesn't'the agree with them . . . The city will be a dangerous place for a few weeks as strongholds attack anything and eventually will need to scavenge for supplies.

5976877 Which is why some of the 'attackers' the day before were full ponies, and many looked entirely normal, and the rest were in odd between states.

You certain this doesn't deserve a dark tag?

Not only has there been some rather grim outright murders on screen now...

But the idea of some poor bastard being gunned down for the dread crime of licking somebody isn't that much lighter fair. I mean, fine, they're infectius... but on the other hand, so far they've basically been acting less like monsters, and more like pet-dogs that don't quite get what they've done wrong. :fluttercry:

5976938 I am never certain where particular tags start or end, to be honest.

I agree on the dark tag at least for the chapters we've seen. Being zombie apocalypse genre kind of implies it's going to continue to be dark, if not necessarily grimdark.
As for the overall concept. I find it hilarious. :) The execution does a good job of not being comedy line by line, but when you step back and think about what the hell is going on...

5976944

Fair enough. Can be rather tricky business getting that bit right from the get-go.

Just thought I'd point out that the absence of that particular one is starting to bother me slightly. :unsuresweetie:

5976948
5976955 Would that there was a rating for a tag. I don't really plan for grimdark, but it is kinda dark. People are not at their best in these situations. It's a bad time. Am I making any sense?

The cold calculus of survival makes itself known. In order to function, people must integrate into local maxima, deriving safety in numbers.
I am mildly sorry.

Math puns aside, these two going out on their own is a dangerous but necessary choice. That kiss was going to come out sooner or later, and that's assuming that Sandra hasn't been infected. Still, at least there's no risk of death. Not physical death, anyway. Not that we've seen...

Not so interesting story

the plot thickens this may be a good story only time will tell.
that is if there is any one left around to read it. :facehoof: ok that was lame even for me.
Harts Fire
PS I loved the movie zombie land.

5976962
Yes. They should add tag ratings that go from 1-11 on a scale marked 1-10.

It feels like this could, honestly, be a fair bit scarier than Walking Dead. The ponies turning you without killing you isn't exactly less scary than being turned into a dead zombie, at least judging by their apparent lack of higher brain functions shown so far. And unlike traditional zombies, they have fliers, burrowers and telekinetics to make it really hard to create any kind of fortification against them.

But then when you look at Walking Dead, very quickly the zombies stop being the big threat. They're the backdrop. It's other humans that are grimdark scary. In part because there's a risk that they'll be trustworthy. I say 'risk', because with a zombie you just know it's irredeemably evil. Everyone knows that, and only the odd nutcase will fault you for putting them down 'unprovoked'. But with other people, if you just flat out kill them on sight, you don't know if they could have been a great friend and ally that would have had your back through thick and thin. But to give them a chance to be that ally, you have to give them a chance to betray you. Or, you know, just be a waste of your efforts in a situation where you can't afford to be wasteful.

And then, getting back to this story, there's the question whether there will be some who turn without going crazy, or go crazy slowly. Or whether those who already turned will return to a form of sanity when the dust settles? Like if a small town all got infected and then ignored for a year would it end up essentially looking/functioning like Ponyville? Only with the inhabitants viewing humans as a dangerous psychotic monster who needs to be 'cured' with a quick French kiss? (I say dangerous psychotic, because it's very likely most would be shoot-first types after what they've seen/heard of the ponies from incidents like we've seen here.)

Anyways, looking forward to seeing where you take this madness. :)

5976995 Sorry to hear it wasn't your cup of tea. Was anything in particular off?

but no curfew or other 'official' move had been done.

made

"Hey, Will, don't bother coming in." It was my boss. Was I fired?

"Uh, did she actually get me fired?"

I think that should be moved to the start of the next paragraph.

Enjoy the sudden vacation." He hung up without further word.

She...another

One time they came up and started tried to get in.

tried or started trying

They weren't natural colors that's for sure!"

colors, that's

A horse like creature landed on a car with an angry winny.

horse-like...whinny

I didn't wait to find out, running full speed as I could through the tangle of cars.

as fast as I could or full speed

another pony poking its head out at me.

We all knew where this was headed, but you never showed your protagonist deciding that that's what they were.

Unsettling cracking and pops came as a tail forced free of his pants

I could hear unsettling cracks and pops

it was clear this was no magically instant transition

magically-instant

Eh....I don't know about this....too soon to decide.

5977259 Thanks for the extreme typo hunting! I do hope you enjoy this story. It's nice having you about.

but significantly safer feeling with boards up in front of every exposed window we could find.

safer-feeling

The scenes with the neighbors didn't make sense. It felt like they had all been through this scenario several times before. The situation was first recognized less than a day ago and they've already solidified their alliances and their who-to-shoot policies. They also seemed very unemotional about the whole situation, even the ones that were exiled and then immediately shot. Maybe you were going for a humorous angle and it went over my head, but the general flavor was "another day, another zombie crisis".

5977267 I was reviewing the Fimfiction rules, and you're probably going to need more than one cameo by Luna to justify posting the story here. I'm not going to rat on you or anything, but your connect to FiM is extremely tangential at the moment.

5977292 They are treating it that way, or are trying to. Everyone is working under the policy of 'We've seen this before, if we just don't do anything stupid, we'll make it!' They've literally followed the handbook of zombie survival. Of course, this is just one group of people. I'm sure others are reacting in very different ways. I... have a hard time imagining that some people won't react this very way in the event of an actual breakout, since, yes, we have seen zombie movies a lot.

Of course, most zombies don't fly or tunnel, so good luck with that!

This reminds me of WWZ that movie with brad pit.... that scene..

You submitted your story to A For Effort. I'm here to inform you that the group has been unfortunately abandoned and I'm one of the few people willing to continue reviewing added stories. I read the first few bits of your story and can safely inform you that your story is actually quite good and shows a level of quality. But, unfortunately, I never could be interested in a human story.

5977315 Or can disarm you with magic Lol, so not only do you have to keep a eye on a 4 dimensional playing field but you have to watch out for magic appearing out of nowhere. Not ending up as a pony seems to be a lot harder than it looks

5977428 Thanks for the kind words, and I hope things improve over there.

5977460 It's dangerous to go alone, take this.

Hmm. Interesting. The body, the magic, and the herd instinct made it through, but little else. Also, tatzlponies. Whoops.

In any case, Will seems to be vaccinated. "Seems" being the operative word. He may have just gotten a minimal dose, with more exposure leading to further transformation. It remains to be seen.

Also:

You probably pricked your finger on a nail or something you'll die of dysentery.

Missing "and," I think.

I hope this doesn't have a bad ending...

5977878 Why doesn't the he saw the horn off?

5977938 Is it even possible for a zombie fic to have a good ending? :rainbowhuh:

this story is getting vary interesting.
ok I am hooked,
now if I am right I know who he is turning it to or should I say she.
Harts Fire

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