RefugeInSilence
Joined 16th May, 2013 ·
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Interesting way to start out than the usual wake up randomly as a pony you see in a lot of fics. My only complaints is that It felt a tad bit rushed and was lacking in details. Over all it's pretty good.
2718108
It was my first attempt at writing something like this, I'll bear that in mind for future chapters.
2718142
Glad to be of assistance.
Another thing I forgot to mention: the whole reaction to the transformation could have been better.
These encapsulate much of my problem with this fic. Forget that it's a mild self-insert fic in a world where MLP is real (something I have an inherent problem with), forget all the grammatical ambiguity I highlighted...
Consider how vague all of those statements were. I don't see any sign that you have a real grasp of depth. All of the things referenced in this passage display issues of significant import, yet our hero just glosses over it.
The rest of the story isn't much better. There's a global meltdown of society and the thing that's most on her mind is getting a shower and meeting her mom? Honestly, I feel like I'm reading about an aging frat boy who wasn't all that clever and doesn't know where he's going in life.
This, really, is a prime example of a story that bites off more than it can chew - it presents us with serious issues and then completely ignores them, focusing instead on the narrow, limited perspective of someone who is neither interesting nor clever.
All I have to say that it is again, an interesting concept you have come up with and I look forward to reading more of this to see where this goes. I'm definately adding you to my watch
thank you all for your critisim, I'll do my best to expand and flesh out the story abit more.
2749689
Thank you, the idea of the story revolves around change and overcoming the problems that come along with them. I'm doing my best to improve as I write this story, so again thank you for your critism.
Again this is simply another good chapter. I really like how your character is developing and it was cute and touching with your interactions with that filly. Even I wanted to hug her. It is nice that you included some lighter material. You are coming along fine as an fanfiction author. Please keep up the good work and I honestly can't wait to read more of what you create in the future.
Damn for almost making me choke up a bit emotionally especially for the final part because you caught me slightly off guard.
Keep it up
-Frost
I loved this chapter! And the state the filly is in is unfortunate, I just want to hug her!
You earned a fav good sir. Your story is emotionally ground breaking and heart-warming at the same time. You seemd a little indecisive with how the story's mood would be like in the beginning, but you established it firmly with the last two. Good work
.
Daww
I must say, This story has gotten pretty good, Silentpassion.
Keep on writing
i.imgur.com/tXjgL.gif
2833518
Odd? The original idea was to create a Mother-daughter dynamic between the two. Mark doesn't really have a clue how to deal with children, so shes only doing what her grand mother did with herself at Sunshines age.
I'll do my best to explain it further on in the story.
2833655
I do admit I'll have to do a little research into this one, it is an important plot point.
Awww!!! this is so adorable! and awesome
Wow,intense
Again another good chapter written. I, again like how the character's are developing and how this story is coming along. I simply can't wait to, once again read more from you, and see what happens next and in the future.
-Frost
2881338
The explaination of Mark and Trevor's relationship was only meant to emphise his relationship with his stepfather Kevin, it was also meant to show that Mark very well understands what Sunshine felt to be treated by her parents like she was unwanted.
I'm still looking into the explaination of the bond between Sunshine and Mark, but all I can come up with is who horses form herds. it is instinctive on some level, but you have to bear in mind the human mind and emotions are compicating things further. I'll keep looking but that's the best I can come up with giving what I've already looked up.
2880608
I'm glad your enjoying the story so far, I'm still new to writing things like this but I'm doing my best.
2881593
I wouldn't have noticed the issue between Mark and Sunshine being a little rushed unless someone like your self told me.
It's not that, I'm guess I'm trying to improve the story as much as I can with the critism I'm getting. Considering what I like I'm always miss something important.
Love the story keep up the great work
.
sorry for the delay, the first part of the next story arc will be up in the next few days.
Yay update
that was interesting to know what had happened to her 
I have to say i love stories involving this premise but ive never read it from such a well developped and more interesting characters perspective, you are a great writer and i am excited to explore the character youve made even deeper. -i have not been this excited about a piece of fanfiction in awhile
The feels man you have brought them
Not gonna cry :(
MOAR PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3070616
I'm glad your enjoying the story, the next chapter will be up by then end of the week.
Why do I get the feeling that Trevor might do something he might regret?
Other than a few grammatical errors I thouroughly enjoyed this chapter, cant wait until the next one comes out
new chapter will be up by the weekend.
Wow
3130196
I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter.
3130338
I really do love this story
so I enjoy every chapter 
Agreed this chapter was great, people can take religion way out of context and do what they think is right which is sad really but good work non the. less
I could completely relate to Shawn. I had to ho to a catholic school growing up and its the exact reason im not religious, The dramatic parts were great cant wait until next update, thank you for all the time you spend writing this /)
3133651
Ah well I didn't honestly expect to please everyone with this chapter. I'm sorry you found it boring...I didn't realise I was following a structure, I more or less wrote this chapter to emphisize the friendship between Mark and Shane to be honest.
Also Shawn?
I'm pretty sure I called that character Shane.
I wood like you to know, that you have dun a grate job on the story so far. Keep up the grate work. I do hope to see an new chapter soon.
Dragonfox
I liked this Chapter, especially the part where Matts laughing at him as he is changed, cant wait for the next chapter :)
I can't wait for the next chapter
I know Scott wont do anything stupid now.
A grate chapter and I am looking forward to the next one. Keep up the grate work you are doing with this story.
Dragonfox
Just letting you all know there won't be another update for a fortnight, due to getting my PC upgraded.
This has piqued my interest, not to mention this is also what I'm mostly into, I like it..... pwease keep gowing
( oh and my best regards with that new up-grade to you're computer
)
where is the next chapter!!!!!!!
3324662
It'll be up by the end of the month. sorry for the delay.
hehehe.... Fez
DOWNWITHTHEBLOODYBIGHEAD 
I have my PC back new chapter is in the works
3380365
Sorry if the whole memory issue came in as left field as you put it, I was intending for the characters just becoming aware of the issue in this chapter, while setting up the plot for the next story arc. I would like to note that Scott's reason for his memory loss is due to a different issue altogether which will be explored in the new story arc.
The best way I can explain it is that the process is so gradual that the person in question never realises it happening in the first place. I believe this is called False Memory Syndrome or at least I think it is, I read up on the term somewhere over the last few weeks.
3399958
First of all it's Mark not Matt who gender was changed. Give the memory issues some time to develop it will be explained as the arc goes on if you have any advice on how to explain this problem then I'm all ears. The closest thing to explain whats going on would be this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_memory_syndrome
3401281
I'll probably look into extending previous chapters as I go back through them to correct the grammar, god knows I desperately need to. Like I said earlier if you have any ideas to extend each chapter I'm all ears.