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# WritingSpirit

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WritingSpirit Joined 3rd Jun, 2012 · Offline

# Sequels1

• In a world torn by conspiracy, hate and a grand conflict with an old, mysterious enemy that once was thought to have fallen, Rarity and Pinkie, in their own separate paths, will come to find that the world they live in was not as it all seemed.
WritingSpirit · 301k words  ·  47  5 · 828 views
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Rarity receives a formal invite to a grand masquerade down at Palgiot Palace, famed for its brilliant architecture and the occupants's eccentric family history. Taking the train to Pendant Lakes, a friendly yet unsettling town, she quickly stumbles upon the numerous guests around her, all invited by the head of the family, Winter Palgiot.

But beneath the splendor and the smiles, a tangled web of conspiracy begins to unfold, as one of the guests was found dead, strangled by the sheets of his bed. As Rarity slowly digs into the case, she quickly uncovers the dark secrets of the Palgiot family and their rise to power in Pendant Lakes that might not only endanger the lives of everyone at Palgiot Palace, but to her friends in Ponyville as well...

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This is my first fanfic. Please give tips on improving!! Critiques are welcome as well!!! :D
Rated Teen for Gore. Especially the first chapter (which has a little too much... I apologize for that)

Image by the talented =Nightwalk3r on dA. All rights of it to the artist himself.

Author's note: I'm starting to rewrite most of the chapters, especially the beginning ones, to make sure not everything is jumbled up. Thx for 5000 views of all the chapters combined!

Chapters (75)
Comments ( 493 )
• Viewing 1 - 50 of 493

Slightly long for one chapter, and incredibly gruesome related to Caesar's death. I understand why you'd put that in considering it's a murder case, but actually showing us the whole murder of Caesar is kind of excessive, don't you think? Nevertheless, this is incredibly well written, and I'm giving this a like.

695642

Well I agree for that part. Caesar's death was described excessively, but the way he died and such is going to affect a later portion of the story. I'm still working on chapter two. Thanks for the tip!

And......done!! Chapter 2 is finally up!! This might shed some light on the Octavia tag I placed.

Less gore in this one. Taking a break from the story for awhile!

Hope you guys enjoyed it! Remember to give me tips on how to improve~!

WritingSpirit, signing out!

Nice job, this isn't too dark and gruesome anymore! It's actually kind of cute.
Although, it would be good if you didn't end up making this too cute & cuddly and still stick to the original plot at hand.

701180

Glad to see you're keeping in touch with the updates! I decided to slow the pace down a bit, so the darker parts of the story will start somewhere in the middle. The details I've added in the past chapter, like Spring's Room & Fountain Square, will be revisited, as they will help push the story along.

In the meantime, I'm working more on Chapter 4
This is mainly about when the guests all start arriving.

Remember, give me some advice!

Chapter 4 is out!
A little bit emotional at the end, I know

Chapters 5 & 6 might be done as well. It's time to get the story started!

;_; I'm starting to get the feeling that Spike won't pull through at the end of this, but that just adds to the suspense.

Also I'm getting the feeling that it's Summer who's the Mirror Mare (even though he's a colt), but that's probably the intended effect anyway.

Take a look back at Chapter 2
Winter didn't say it was a 'he' or a 'she'

Just a hint

Oh snap! This is a long one

Chapter 6, finally!
Sorry it took a while, with the length and all. I had to go out to see some festival, which I didn't enjoy .

Anyways, here you go!

I knew it! I knew Crimson was one of the targets!!
Ahh, they were so close to catching MM >_<

Chapter 7 is out!!!!

If you must ask, With Clandestine Desires, the title, refers to Fedora and Flair's 'improvements' to the town, secretly hoping their children will succeed.

Chapter 8 will be coming soon!

Here you go guys! Chapter 8!

For now, I'm thinking of a name of Chapter 9 and 10.
My school's almost starting (I'm 16 btw) so don't expect daily updates after Sunday!

Anyways, enjoy!!!

719900 Wait, where are you from? I just finished school, I'm surprised you're starting in June.

Anyways, I kind of knew Spike wasn't gonna make it considering the whole turmoil in the story and how nothing ever really looks up in there.
Speaking of which, I was really surprised that Rarity was one of the targets. You just keep putting in suspense and a bunch of subplots into this story, it makes me want to keep reading!

FOREVER.

720615
Lol. Thanks! Although it wouldn't last forever

I'm from Malaysia, a little south of Thailand, just west of Phillipines. I'm on that little peninsula that sticks out from the mainland.
So you could say I'm Asian

Well, down here school is split into four terms. Between each term there is a holiday. Basically my 2nd-3rd term holiday is about to be over on Sunday.

Damn it.

There ain't many people that like, or even know of MLP: FIM. I had to introduce to my sister about it xD.
Music here (I'm a music person) is a little backward >o<
Anyways, wait 'till the next few chapters come out. Tough decisions are going to be made...

There you go! Chapter 9!

Many thanks to coffee, that made me stay awake all night trying to finish this up.

I'll try to finish Chapter 10 and 11 soon, but for now.....

Great chapter and everything, but you don't just give up on someone because you can't get a pulse. If a person has lost a pulse for a minute or two after almost drowning, they are not beyond saving. The pulse can just be too faint to detect. You apply CPR and listen for a heartbeat. EMTs have been known to go on trying to resuscitate people for up to an hour.

I suppose I'm being a bit critical considering these are ponies and most likely aren't trained for these situations, but when half your family works in the medical field, you get nitpicky.

As EMS said, Harlequin may not exactly be dead. She could simply be in a slight coma with a low pulse, and might wake up, but that's your choice in the matter. OwO

The next chapter is going to explain it all actually.
When they perform an autopsy and such.

Which is going to be a little weird....

There we go!! Chapter 10.

Seriously, I didn't want to get hurt, cause she's one of my favorite characters!!

In the meantime, I'm gonna have a bath! I'll post Chapter 11 tomorrow!

Finally did the cover image

Chapter 11 will be coming soon!!!

...Pinkie Pie was a victim? What the crap, this just gets weirder and weirder.

I'm not sure if this makes me a bad person, but I'm glad Summer died. That guy was kind of a douche.

This is the part where Rarity should tell her friends to get the princesses involved. Fuck what Winter wants. He's not capable of handling the situation.

Here ya go. Chapter 11.

A bit lovey-dovey on this one. Romance galore!!!

Have you all found a connection yet? Try to guess from the victims and their deaths so far .
It might be slightly clear, but explanations will continue in the next chapters.

Slight hint on the identity of Mirror Mare at the end!

I think I figured out who she is, but I don't see the motivation.

731271 If you think it's Harmony, then her motivation is probably related to something that broke her and Winter apart, making her bitter and wanting to kill any pony who's in any kind of romantic affair or in love (although I'm not sure where Pinkie and that old guy came in).

733532

That was my first guess at her motive, but then I remembered Pinkie and now I'm not sure.

733801 In due time, I guess.

Well, it is rather confusing, but I can tell you romance does not fit into this one.
The relationship, as well as the history of the family will be explored further, then everything will come clear.

But for now, please be patient! I'm trying to get as much time to continue this

736251

LOL xD

Motives will be explained somewhat in the future. For the time being, I'm working on the background of some characters.
You know: Caesar, Sidus, Autumn, Crimson.

As well as helping the story to connect with Mirror Mare.

SPOILING THE TITLE FOR NEXT CHAPTER: Sanguine Societies
Try to make a guess about it.

There we go!! Chapter 12!

Finally done with this. Working on the plot for 13.

And here it is: Sanguine Societies....

Here you go!!

Chapter 13, as promised

I was busy wondering if I should have a sequel for this. I'll reserve the thoughts for later.
I'm also currently busy working on another story!
That one will be released once I've added a few chapters onto it. It'll be slightly harder than this one, that I guarantee

Oh, AJ, you silly pony.

I've just figured it out. I'm not going to really list it all out until I read the next chapter, but I think I know what Mirror Mare's motives are.

752598 Wait, hold on a second; sequel? You mean you're gonna end this story at chapter 13? That's not cool!

757234
That's not what I meant
I meant after this story is over (in chapter 20+ or 30+), I may write a sequel.

This story still has a long way to go!

Chapter 14

Things are gonna get tough from now on!

The title is merely a merge of two Latin words.
Equa, meaning horse and Animus, meaning soul.

Remember, there's still a long way to go before finishing the story. I know some of you are still guessing the motives and such

Pinkie's going crazy. omo
I'm starting to think this is a prequel to 'Cupcakes'.
<shudder>

Well, somepony decided to wake up!!

And here it is (finally~!) Chapter 15
Sorry it took a while. I wasn't in the mood lately.

I've decided to split this chapter into two parts. There would not be a part 2 or anything like that. It's just I feel that this chapter might be too long if I decided to add everything inside.

I'll try to finish chapters 16 and 17 as fast as I can. I won't want to rush it though

784966 Oh boy, chapter 15! <looks at date released> Huh, the 21st, wonder what day it is today..?
<looks at date today>

Sweet Chapter 16!!

It took less time than I thought, actually.
And it seems Mirror Mare had made the first move!!

Chapter 17!

Finally done with it! Hard to focus at night.

I was thinking of getting pre-readers for the next bunch of chapters.
I'll think about it.

Chapter 18.
Amazingly good progress so far, in my opinion of course.

Which reminds me, if anyone is interested to, well, be an editor, just give me a note.

And I noticed lately there are not much critiques or tips and such.
Speak up, people!

I have been reading the whole of this Fic for basically the whole day... and I love it keep up the great work.

and i can't wait to see what you do with Spike and rarity in this story as well as the what are the motives behind the villain.

Well, my network is having a few issues.
Don't expect any new updates till about... Wednesday? I dunno

As for Sparity part, I just thought of something that can deal with that!
Just be patient!

One day early!!!
Chapter 19!!

The budding romance will begin in the following chapters, if I got enough time to deal with it, of course.
This story's getting a little bit of attention now . Thanks for all the awesome views.

I feel this chapter's a bit too rushed, though. Not really much to expect
Tell me if you agree!

Great job with this chapter.

Good to see that Pinkie is slowly turning back into the normal pinkie a well as the situation with rarity and her group has not really improved that much.

I am also interested to see what Celestia's plans are to help Rarity as I am curious to see were that goes.

Keep up the great work, andI can not wait until the next chapter comes out.

This is quite a long story, but it is SO worth it! I'm excited for the next chapter!

Just to notify you guys, Chapter 20 is gonna be long. And when I mean long, I mean super long!!
I'm only done with one brief part of it, and it already had 1.5k words.

Well, on with the story I guess.....

Chapter 20!! Here it is!!

L'amour De Ma Vie (Love Of My Life in French). Never planned this to become a song, but somehow it just feels right. Never planned Gypsum and Romani tradition inside as well!
Could imagine a movie from this chapter. Especially the last part!

Chapter 21 might up the seriousness a bit. It was slacking a little in this chapter

• Viewing 1 - 50 of 493