- Member Since 18th Jun, 2012
- offline last seen Jul 27th, 2020
MonolithiuM
Reality is relative, logic is a lie, and God prefers Thinmints over Tagalongs.
MonolithiuM
Joined 18th Jun, 2012 ·
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good job
This is a good story.
From what I have read this seems great, can't wait for you to post more chapters, and I hope you can keep this story-line alive because of how original it appears to be!
well here's hoping this doesn't just get two more chapters and never updates again. Looking forward to more regardless.
Daaaaaammmmmmnnnnnn. I love this guy. Please continue.
I'm enjoying this! Keep it up!
poor set up. theres no point in showing the human killed someone. that much is already implied. it would be different if you gave us information on the human, gender, appearance, age, but we are given almost nothing. the point made by this is that the human is not a protagonist, but the monster. the story from this point will be set on the main character, the human owner pony girl mentioned in the summery.
the problem is is that you give her no entrance. she needs to be the first pony to hit a scene. and she needs to be characterized well. instead we have a prelude in griffon land. this is where the story is headed. it will be even more of a mess if you twist it somewhere else without careful steps forward.
6133450 I hear you bro. Don't worry about the reveal, it's all planned out. Just give it a couple chapters or so.
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I eagerly await your next chapters.
Every comment liking this story has a thumbs down...........................
Well this might be the first 'your human and you' story I might like, I await the next chapter.
6136031 Yeah I saw that too. Salty peeps are salty. Anyway, thanks for liking it. I have a couple more chapters that I'm tidying up, but we still have at least three to go before the blood starts to flow.
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6137088
Yes. All my Yes!!! Take my like and fave, your glorious genius!!!!
If this is to "Your Human and You" as "The Secret life of Rarity" is to Canon...
Evil Me is pleased!
Have a Favorite and upthumb
Alright, so the human here is a complete psychopath with nothing to make him even remotely likable or sympathetic or interesting as a character. I think your story would be much better off focusing on the griffon detective and making her the protagonist, with a few scenes of our killer so we know what he is up to. Sort of like you are doing right now.
I'm starting to get the feeling that the human really isn't one of the good guys. At least it's a change from the status quo.
He wears clothes and was covered in blood that was not his. Then you proceeded to bring him to a slaughterhouse. You're just asking for trouble. At least the Human showed them who is the apex predator.
6153336 I agree with the idea of a character supposed to be interesting. But sympathetic? Really? A story about a psychotic murderer, going around killing people with no second thought, and were supposed to feel for him?
Even the description says
No real reason to be sympathetic, if he doesn't care care that he's murdering someone, then that's just it. The character was made to be evil and psychotic, Fills it to a tee, sure, but again I have to agree, there's no content to the character besides he kills people and doesn't care.
6153535
Yeah, I had a bit of a brain malfunction when I brought up that he should be sympathetic. Still want him to have a character trait other than "murder is my first and last resort to any given situation."
6153684 I whole heartily agree. Backstory maybe?
Dayum!!! This dude is fucking ruthless.....I LUV IT!!!!!!!
6153684
6154062 ALL YA'LL NIGGAS GETTIN' TO CHAPTERS I HAVEN'T EVEN POSTED YET. GODDAMN, YA'LL PLAYAS GOT MENTAL POWERS OR SOMETHIN'.
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6154233 ... That is now my favorite gif... and, oOoOoOoOo psychic abilities!
This dude is a big threat. I hope they get him soon, be it here or in Equestria.
6154195 Well, it's not like the Gryphons are any different towards humans.
Death to the ponies!!! >:D
This chapter was enjoyable, please keep up the story. I wish I was better at giving feedback...
Please more I find my self interested
Here's a hint: NEVER write "killing him/her/it/whatever instantly". That's bad writing and a lazy way to tell what you should be showing. Make the instant death known by describing the details such as the corpse dropping without a reaction or sound.
Besides, nobody says "killing her instantly", why should a character do it?
6223057 Hmmm, thanks for the tip my man. I'll make sure to adjust the story-telling to make it more interesting. Thanks for the feedback, homie.
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A Griffon named Caleb...I find that a bit odd. But then again it could just be caused by my name being Caleb as well. XD
I Feel As though A Murderer Made this... Yay~!
6433242 Shhhh. Don't tell the cops!
6434381 *Looks in a corner Seeing Pinkemena Holding a Butcher Knife* That... Won't be happening.... Trust me...
Very cool premise for a story, I like it and do really hope that this continues.
6514222 It will be continuing. I'm getting the Equestrian landfall chapter in order, expect another week or so.
A clever human serial killer in a world where humans are seen as animals with no more intelligence than a dumb, feral dog and everybody is a fluffy pony who treats you like a pet. Yeah, this guy is gonna be having a good time.
6525850 Yup. Just remember, you're going to be rooting against him at some point.
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6526673 You say that like we aren't already.
6527159 If you already aren't... oh boy, you're in for a shock.
Not one to often like Human and You stories, don't even remember the last one I read, but this one is good. Premise is fun given the situation
6526673 I guess I wouldn't be rooting for a dog or a pig if it turned out to be an intelligent serial killer and started butchering people who take it in. So perhaps its just me rooting for the human because I am a human. Speciesm? Like racism but instead of another race its another species? I dunno.
6529532 That's the goal of Twisted Product. No "liberation", no "revenge", just a sicko with some leeway and good cover.
6531106 It's only natural to root for your own race, I get it. Though that tone might change soon enough...
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Okay. A Jeff Yahey. Sounds fun.
(Yahey is a slang term for the, 'Your Human And You'. Sound out the acronym, 'YHaY'. See? Makes sense, doesn't it? Of course, I made up the term, but I hope it catches on.)
I'm loving this so far. Stories were the protagonist has no connection to us but is still truly interesting due to his/her uniqueness are my favorite. They way you perceive the griffon society and it's views and actions towards humans is definitely to my likely. I enjoy this story and can't wait form more
Is beautiful.
7255498 Am thankful.
Sorry that I had to cut the chapter down, but 12,000 words seemed like a bit much. No ETA on Chapter 6 release, as I am rewriting and revising it to account for the split. Thank you for your patience everybody, sorry about the delays.
Tell us now for real, Mono: is this gonna be just a snuff fic and nothing else, like the original YHaY is nothing but pet play clop? Because I'm getting sickened of Simon Pollux killing and maiming as he pleases, no matter how plausible his impunity may be, and you describing the gorn as if you get a major thrill out of it.
7293336 What he (She?) said.