• Member Since 11th Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen April 7th

TheGreatEater


T

Alternate Title: Like Student, Like Teacher.

We all know of Twilight's legendary botching of spells that destroy cities, summon elder gods, and create logic breaking effects upon the world around her almost constantly. Of how her dancing is considered a war crime in some nations. As well the only mortal that can create more worse horrors in the kitchen and call it food is Rainbow Dash.

Yet have you ever wondered how that came to be? This is Celestia's story.

When her sister brings up the fact that while she has taught for millenia. Celestia technically hasn't participated in school herself in centuries. Luna proposes that she visits her four academies to get her hooves scholastically wet as it were. What happens next is a series of misadventures and coincidences that will shake, quite literally, the foundations of Equestria and summon forth the Cakeocalypse.

Warning: This is an Inception Satire, and at no point takes itself seriously, while having fun with itself as Cakelestia's plot pilots the fics plot :twilightsmile:., Sex tag for innuendo, implied, and colorful phrases. Enjoy.

Special Shout out to:

Vexy, the linked story sparked the seeds of inspiration of this fic. Read the follow up blog in the A/N. It's an interesting read, if you have the chance.

Talguy21 for getting me pumped about making this, and giving me the idea of twisting the Twilight does X with Celestia. With this one line.

makes me wonder what would happen if the likes of Celestia botched a spell. :twilightoops:

As well as our little back in forth in the blog-follow up to "The Darling Conundrum".

Zurvan For Editing this fic.


Cover Art: Me.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 42 )

A bit vulgar on the humor side for my tastes, but damn is this entertaining! Celestia really is out of touch! :rainbowlaugh:

I feel so bad for Close Call... and whoever else will be assigned her as a sacri-- ...aide.

And if this is the kind of mess she can cause by cooking, I shudder to imagine what's going to happen when she goes to magic school. :twilightoops:

Good show so far! Maybe tone the jokes down a pinch, but otherwise, the shenanigans make up for it, at least for me!

Ah, yes. The Jokes in chapter's 2 and 3 are much less vulgar (Since I saw Cooks like a bunch of sailors with cutlery. The rest is much more Woona Friendly for 98% of the future chapters. Chapter 5 will be iffy. But hopefully nothing to bad in a few sections (give 0 details, but it's left to the readers imagination).) But other than the sailors that the cooks were. It's toned down by tons in later chapters. Most of the humor / jokes are in name puns, situational humor, Sisterly banter, or the kind of joke that her cooking was.

5931632

Cool! Sounds like we're in for some crazy adventures then! :pinkiehappy:

5931632

Also, could you actually put a link to the blog follow-up? It's tough sorting through Vexy's blog pile. :rainbowwild:

5933958

Done :twilightsmile:. It's under your shout out bit.

Is Twilight being a bad cook a fanon thing? I can't remember the show ever showing her failing at cooking, unlike say, Sweetie Belle.

I'm just curious as to the origin of that "quirk".

5961454

It's a fanon thing. I think it originated since Spike is the one who does all the cooking, and Twilight is shown either eating his food, or eating out. So the fans wrote her up as a horrible cook. Although as a scientist, chemist, and used to following directions she'd be a semi-decent cook, but it's still a humorous little quirk that can be used.

This entire story was a rollercoaster from beginning to end and I've haven't said that about a story since last year.

5967556

Thank you :twilightsmile:. Glad you enjoyed it.

Short as it is, it's chock full of funny. Good job TheGreatEater. I very much enjoyed reading this in between farming event chests in destiny.

Well this was entertaining.
I don't particularly like it, but I can't deny that I had fun reading this.

Okay it’s been a while since I’ve done this but I am going to work on my comment before finishing reading the first chapter. Fluttershy in cooking school sounds wonderful. Also the combination of that and Twilight trying to hook Flutters up with Pinkie would make for a wonderful comedy. If I remain inspired I will work toward this end, Fluttershy will go to CACA(Celestias Acadamy of the Culinary Arts)

Next, Jessie? The god of undeath? Very nice.

Okay at this point I think I’ve noticed that the cooks seem awfully obsessed with Lunas mamaries... Silly ponies.

Okay all in all, this was great! I love how you have written Celestia. She is kind and caring, but she is a little absent minded. Not stupid! A lot of writters wuld just make her seem like some brainless pile of mud who makes these mistakes, but all things considered you have simply shown her to be, for lack of a better word, human. She makes mistakes but always tries to learn from them.

I’ll see you at the next chapter.

6401370

Thanks :scootangel:, yeah FlutterPie is an adorable ship. As for the obsessions with Luna's mamaries, I thought it would be a nice little pony swear to the gods, rather than the usual pony swears.

And yep. There are a lot of fics that say that Celestia wants to be treated as a pony. But personally, even as an immortal physical deity. She's still a flesh and blood being, and it's interesting to play the flaws to show them as a person / character. Rather than a one dimensional prop. Thanks for the compliment :twilightsmile:.

And now in chapter two we find Luna’s titles to be just as amusing. I am interested though in just who or what “The Thing That Hides Under the Bed” is... oh there it is... Luna is best little sister. Also Celestia is awesome for giving such a glorious title for her sister’s bravery. Also I am wondering if you’ve though about writing that fic.

Well isn’t Twi’s correspondence interesting. I don’t normally read those kinds of stories, but I can only imagine how cute those two would be with Self-conscious Sparkle and Semi-clueless Celestia. Don’t get me wrong though, I ship Twilestia like Fed-Ex.

And already Celestia has passed on her earlier learnings to a stoner... I mean student...yeah. Also Twilestia experimenting with the Mary Jane... that would be priceless. I think the best part of your story here at least is that there are so many parts that are just little jokes but could be made into wonderful full stories.

I'll see you at the next chapter.

Sugar Sweat is best Sweat!

Pinkie is awesome and I hope that Celestia gets things sorted out at the patent office. WAIT WAIT WAIT WAITWAITWAITWAIT! Death Ray? As in, “Death Ray” Death Ray? Pinkie... what are you up to?

Okay another amusing chapter with more PinkieShy ship threats and Twilestia nods. Also Raridash sounds cute, I never thought of Rarity as somepony who would enjoy wrestling... wait... um... Oh! Aw... so cute.

Well on to the final classes of the day for Celestia, I’ll see you at the next chapter.

6401565

Yep Luna is best, and bravest little sister. I could probably make that a fic when my current schedule slows down a bit.

And Sugar Sweat really is best Sweat.

As for the Death Ray, yes, Pinks has a Death Ray, and it is adorable ^_^. As for Rares wrestling ... you have to admit she was rather skilled in fighting AJ and Flutters when discorded, and has a some rather strong legs [well toned too for considering her profession :rainbowlaugh:.]

First paragraph is a lie! Celestia went there to rescue Twi from evaporating existence, Also baby spike from eating the universal concept of economy.

Did Tia just march on the Smooze? Well I suppose we’ll find out in a bit.

[quote[“Well you see each year has a way of dealing with these places, and it’s a good way to exercise magic. First years use a bubble shield, second years use these masks, but third years try teleporting their stuff out of their bowls into the cordoned off area out back …”Oh... so it was the Smooze! Also I think you meant “bowels” at the bolded part.

Well Luna was delightful, also Spikes Mother was epic. Oh and Snuffles is wonderful, hooray for best Changeling Snuffles!

I’ll see you at the next chapter.

Well this was a fun ride. It gets an upward facing thumb and a bronze star. Now I want the seqquel of Tia at magic kindergarten... please yes? Don't worry about it if you aren't inspired to write that, but I think it would be funny. Seriously though Twi could have at least shrunk Celestia into a proper foal size so the fillies and olts wouldn't make fun of her...

I'll see you at the next chapter.

6401646

Snuffles is second best Ling. Aegis from of the Hive Series is best Ling [I'd totally snuggle her for hours]. And yes Spike's mom is awesomesauce.

Thanks for the error fix. I fixed it :twilightsmile:.

6401674

I'll definitely put it on the list of fics that I'll be needing to working on one of these days. Thanks for the star ^_^, and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

6401678 Yay! in your face errors!

6401682 And now I have to put aside some future time to get into the Goldenverse. I read the group stuff and one way to get me to do almost anything is some delightfully adorable ScootaBelle... or ScootaBloom... or SweetieBloom...... um... or SilverBelle... or Tomburg... shut up inanimate objects need loving too.

6401705

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/214317/rarity-and-toms-magical-adventure, best Tom ship ever made. Rarity makes the best Wingmare ever.

And yes, the series is shipping crusaders. As well as some adorable side ships.

6401833 And there's another read later. Not tonight, sleeping time tonight.

6401940

XD. That read later list keeps growing :twilightsmile:. If you are interested I got some other amazing series for you to get to later, and sleeping sounds good. Everyone needs a good rest every now and then.

6401955 Yeah that would be awesome, I always enjoy getting recommendations from writers who have written things I really like. It greatly increases the chances of a recommendation being good. Also yes sleep is good, someone should tell that to my boss.

6404193 I'm a cook. I would eventually like to open my own establishment, but for now I work for someone who either thinks too highly of me or not highly enough. I am not a machine, I need rest just like normal humans.

Hooray for a story pile, "A Foal's First Words" looks cute. I might start there tomorrow... if I don't pass out from exhaustion.

6405785

Cooks have the most intense jobs, but make things that are practically magical. If your boss's opinion is the former, that speaks volumes of your skills. And best of luck in getting your own place.

If you haven't tried investment banking yet. I'd suggest going to CharlesSchwab, I put in 21k back in 2012, and now I have 38,426 USD in one account, in another I put 9k back in October of 2014 and I have 10,006 USD. So it'd be a good way to build up money to go towards that. Nonetheless, best of luck to you ^_^.

Btw, what type of food do you normally cook?

6405921 Yeah it's fun and I love it. I do think it's the former, because I do have a key to the place and I am trusted with coming up with our soup specials. Unfortunately I am also responsible for the desserts. Believe it or not I really don't like baking. I love the product, but the process is so boring.

I actually have a 401K with my current company, or I'm trying to. The owner promised some paperwork on that, and I haven't seen any money taken from my check so I need to talk to him today.

Type? Like regional cuisine? If that's the case I like Earth Cuisine. Seriously I have a love of pretty much everything I've come into contact with from around the world.

6407295

Earth Cuisine is pretty delicious. And it's good that you're doing something you love. Well the end result anyways.

And you definitely should go and talk to them, after all a 401K is pretty important.

How is this story not rated higher? This was amazing! :rainbowlaugh: Perfection in a bottle..in a cake.

8158349

I know right? It's kind of like how https://www.fimfiction.net/story/214317/rarity-and-toms-magical-adventure is an utterly adorable romance fic. But only has a rating of 14 : 0.

That was amusing. The swearing was maybe a bit much, and perhaps a bit too much satire as well, but it was fun to read.

I also have a comic that somewhat illustrates what happened with her saddlebags of holding: http://dilbert.com/strip/1992-02-16

...
:unsuresweetie:
:rainbowlaugh:
Well. That "meeting" is sure to be interesting. Or extremely awkward.
I wish I had that level of musical skill, though.

Out of curiosity, what stories mentioned the hazmat bathrooms? It sounds like it might be funny to read them.
If only because it probably resembles a few I've seen in real life... :pinkiesick:

9199396
Saddly it's been a while since I read the source material. So I totally forgot what fics they were. I vaguely remember it was around when this fic was made, and there were a few of them that I read back to back.

9199332
Yep, this entire fic is satire poking fun at various tropes, and story hooks that pop up in the fandom. The swears were poking fun at the various swears in Celestia's name (the latest and funniest of which is this fic.), and Satire is one of my favorite forms of comedy.

That 'equation' :facehoof:
For the curious: The part in brackets with the derivative is the time-dependent schrodinger equation. It yields the energy of a system and is used to determine the wavefunction. This is multiplied with the plank quantum and a frequency, which yield an energy as well. The expression on the bottom is correct, the limit of that function is indeed one. It is called the sinus cardinalis and important in signal processing. You just don't divide by equations like that... The part on the bottom left is actually equal to zero, so there's no need to take a limit.
Yes, I'm a nerd. :twilightsmile:
Though there were many curses, ever since Fallout Equestria i'm looking forward to how creative they can get. Also love the way Celestia is messing up.

10128661
LolXD. Thank you very much ^_^. Honestly I kind of Frankensteined some math stuff that I saw online that I thought would be a cool technobabbly way to do Bags of Holding.

(Since Twilight and the show do have both advanced math and made up maths.).

I'm glad you're liking it so far. Hopefully it continues to impress.

10129196
Well, better late than never. I was a little put off by how much things escalated. Mostly because i didn't expect things to go that far. :twilightoops: Was quite enjoyable nonetheless. Thanks for writing.

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