• Member Since 11th Mar, 2013
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TheGreatEater


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While sitting in on parliament with fellow princesses Cadance and Twilight. Luna burst in with a news article that brings to light some rather sordid parts of Celestia's past while bringing her actions into a new light.

After looking into it, as well as some introspection. Celestia makes a choice that will change her life, and the lives around her forever. Will it lead to an end, or a new beginning?

Inspired by: Twilight Manages To Screw Up More Than Usual by, Fire Gazer the Alchemist

and a conversation in that fic with howard035.

Editor: Zurvan

I have this entire fic written, and 6 buffer chapters of this stories sequel. Until I catch up to the buffer chapter, I'll be posting two chapters a week ^_^.

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 227 )

I can already tell this is going to be great. Loving the characterization and I eagerly await more.

Well this looks interesting. Are you going with the books background that Cadance was born a pegasus who was raised by earth ponies, or are you using another background for her? Because that look like it could make a difference here.

And what do you know, Celestia's already thinking Pegasi are guileless! Got to watch those assumptions, Princess!

This sounds really good!

6944086

Thanks, I hope this does go as well as I personally think it does. And thank you for making the fic that inspired this ^_^. This and the sequel have been a blast to write so far.

6944120

Didn't know she was raised by earth ponies. But going with she was born a pegasi, and ascended.

Tia thinks of her as a niece in this fic, but Cadance sees her as a mother figure. I'll be touching that up in the sequel eventually ^_^. And it turns out a lot of this fic and the sequels play on assumptions from Tia. Not necessarily ill meaning, or to be cruel. But we get to see how those little assumptions build up quick.

6944122

Thanks, I can say that it only gets better from here on out ^_^.

6944258 Oh so you already doing a sequel? That's really cool! Would make it funny that the next newspaper was this!

Should we be worried that were ruled by only Alicorn Mares?

Oh geeze, the reporters know nothing of Cadance do they? Well of course not I guess, they are reports looking to sell newspapers They will ignore that Cadance was a pegasus or that the princess are part Earth pony and Pegasus as well as Unicorn. Hee course the Unicorn nobility might support the idea of focusing on the unicorn part of Alicorns

6944865 There would be a notion that there isn't an Earth Ascended Alicorn, as Celestia/Luna were born naturally, and Cadence ascended before ever really reaching Canterlot and living out in the backwoods, and of course Twilight practically had every advantage that an Earth pony wouldn't have.

Considering that earth pony past is filled with "Forced to grow food for angry spartan pegasi and Nobility obsessed Unicorns". They likely would be checking deeply for bias against them.

That or someone's stirring the pot in general to sell news, but that's so stereotypical at this point. :ajsmug:

6944918
Reasons don't have to be true to make sense. Those from a historically repressed group often look for bias against them with so much passion that they see it weather it exists or not. If your looking to be offended you'll never be disappointed.

6944739

All I can say is that the sequel is adawable. Right now I'm letting it grow organically, but it's an adorable little fic atm.

Oh, and I'll leave that little surprise for the sequel.


6944918
6945299

The next chapter is the news article itself. In it's full glory. But Wroth mostly got it, with Tia and Luna being born naturally to alicorn parents. And Cadance being not only deep in the backwoods, but even in the show nothing of her past is talked about or known. She's just another alicorn that popped up around Twilight's arrival as a student, but with much less hubbub or fuss as Twilight's own coronation.

Then you got Twilight, something as Celestia's student will get touched upon in the news article, but think of all the students Celestia's ever had? So alicorns are known for their magical prowess. Most focus on their magical power, rather than the other two tribes they have the magic of. Their students are unicorns (at least to historical knowledge). And the other two's importance seems a whole lot less important.

To wrap it up. Celestia really does love all her subjects [something touched upon next chapter]. But living in Unicorn Captial of the world since her reign as Princess, over seeing thousands of bills / laws / paperwork daily, and not really having time to see a city as it is normally [since the second a pony knows Tia is coming they change everything to make their city look the best it can. As we see with Ponyville freaking out over a visit]. Mistakes and assumptions Tia keeps making get made. It's not really something done out of ugly thinking [or hateful prejudice], as much as a mix of familiarity, accidental prejudices, and uncorrected mistakes that slowly build on top of one another for thousands of years. Building a huge tower of suck.

Cadence = Former Pegasus
Twilight Sparkle = Former Unicorn
? = Former Earth

She may need to depending on the publisher get on the ball of things, point out what tribes the two 'newer' princesses were and how it would be impossible to be 'tribalist' physically or socially. Even though recent generation only know what Twilight was, which could had been channeled in that paper due to prejudice done to them by Unicorns or their own bias. Which if it is the later would be quite interesting to learn how that evolved, because that wouldn't be very 'harmonic' now would it?

6946648

It's all revealed on to how things got to where they were by chapter 5 "History Pt.3: Canterlot". But I can say that everything that's happened is unintentional on her part, after she loves all of her subjects and wouldn't intentionally do anything to hurt her little ponies.

But yes, Cadance being a former pegasi is something that gets overlooked by the populace as a whole :facehoof:. Silly them :scootangel:.

CCC

Is Celestia raising the other Princesses to further downtrodden the non-unicorn population?

Well, I don't think much of this newspaper's editor's grammar. 'Downtrodden' is an adjective, not a verb.

This post might look way too into it but i am the over analyzing erverything to death type . Also i am assuming
real life information where the show demands it due to them expecting you to simply know stuff they do not
explain .
I have pretty much ripped every second episode a new one that way finding stuff most would probably not think of .
The setting is interesting but ultimately your statements are in direct contradition to information given by the
show and goes with the very shallow ignorance this show takes towards monarchy and
the problems and corruption of a noble system in addition to a simply wrong display of several things
the show uses from RL .

Ignorance on Celestias part does not mean that she in not behaving like a tribalist .
Also making those assumptions is tribalistic .

The problem with your setup is that celestia is either tribalist or incompetent beyond merely incompetent
or both .
Let us start with the obvious . According to show the only ponies allowed into higher goverment are Unicorns .
It is completely impossible that no Pegasi or Earth Ponies qualified as Nobels if they where choosen by merit ,
especially since the military that defends the country is almost completely Pegasi .
That is made more obvious through the fact that Celestia relocated the seat of goverment into a Unicorn only
city , as there is no existing way that the old castle was not near the capital , and that one is more than a full day of travel away from Canterlot , making it difficult for most non Unicorn citcenzs to directly appeal to her .
Then there is the School for gifted Unicorns whitout there being one for the other groups .
Even in the Millitary , high ranking Officers are mostly Unicorns which , given the ratio , should be the other
way around , especially as the show more or less openly claims that Pegasi are better in Millitary matters than the other groups .
Then threre is the open corruption that Celestia ignored for over 1000 years that is ten complete lifespans
she had time to do something . She is not a ramdom politican that has only 4 to 30 years after all .
The biggest thing everyone ignores though is the fact that Equestria was created as a council in wich all three
groups where present and was changed into monarchy after the Discord thing , wich means that this system
was an intentional choice made by celestia .
Furthermore only the unicorns had a nobility system which means that the unicorns where given an direct
advantage .
Then there is the point that the Unicorn nobility ceased to exist together with their country when Equestria
was created , as such they never had any inherent right to assume a goverment position as any position they might have had was directly based on the existence of the old council which no longer exists .
That means that all positions where given to them by celestia .
In that case the question is , where are the old representatives of the other two groups ?

As for Cadence , Cadence was made an Alicorn for the act of directly Brainwashing an Mind Controlling others
with a form of magic that is hinted at , in the show , as being considered a bad thing , if not actually illegal .
And before you say anything , Cadence changes the feelings of others whithout their knowledge or permission
to do what she wants them to .

Regarding the supression by millitant Pegasi that is not the case for the simple fact that the Earth Ponies
ultimately relied on the Pegasi as millitary force in case of an attack from outside the tribes which means
that the Earth Ponies took advantage of the Pegasi just as much if not more than the other way around .
Then there is the fact the Pegasi are the ones most responsible for farming , a lot of work is to make
sure the harvest survives weather conditions which are completely taken care of by the pegasi .

Adressing the barely explained system of the show is kind of a minefield .

6947714


I haven't read this story (sorry author, I'll hit up the first chapter after this post) but I have to comment on this long comment.

The biggest thing everyone ignores though is the fact that Equestria was created as a council in wich all three

groups where present and was changed into monarchy after the Discord thing...

Equestria was founded by the three tribes coming together. Ignoring comic canon of Celestia and Luna originally being chosen for the job (and thus suggesting that Discord deposed them temporarily and seized control for himself) Discord ruled as a monarch, a king, but Celestia and Luna intended on ruling as a Diarchy (which is slightly different). Functionally it became a monarchy again after the whole Nightmare Moon incident (the first one) but it technically remained a diarchy as evidenced by Luna's return to her role.

Then there is the point that the Unicorn nobility ceased to exist together with their country when Equestria

was created ,

That is demonstratively false according to show canon. The unicorn nobility (Blueblood being the most blatant surviving example) did not cease to exist with the establishment of Equestria, much like the warrior/weather control class of the pegasi did not cease to exist with the founding of Equestria. If anything, the three societies merged and brought thier respecitve parts (good and bad) with them. The unicorns naturally "taking over" management duties makes sense in a non-military dictatorship (which the pegasi would have excelled at most likely).

Then there is the School for gifted Unicorns whitout there being one for the other groups .

Wonderbolt Academy (for pegasi).

That is made more obvious through the fact that Celestia relocated the seat of goverment into a Unicorn only

city

Unicorn "dominant", not unicorn "only", a technicality that makes that statement less racist/tribalist and more logical for the reasons already pointed out about unicorns.

Then there is the fact the Pegasi are the ones most responsible for farming , a lot of work is to make

sure the harvest survives weather conditions which are completely taken care of by the pegasi .

The pegasi control the weather. What the farmers and planters do is entirely on the earth ponies. What happened when Tirek took the magic of the earth ponies away? The entire kingdom faced a massive food shortage because the earth ponies could not grow crops anymore; the weather being controlled by the pegasi makes things optimal, but it is false that the pegasi do most of the work in farming.

ven in the Millitary , high ranking Officers are mostly Unicorns which , given the ratio , should be the other

way around , especially as the show more or less openly claims that Pegasi are better in Millitary matters than the other groups .

The Wonderbolts are once again a notable exception there. Shining Armor is captain of the royal guard for reasons obvious from the Crystal Empire episodes and the Canterot Wedding episodes (dat bubble shield). No earth pony nor peagsus is filling that particular role. Celestia in this canon is more likely to be threatened by magical foes that require magical retaliation, so the head of that organization which is supposed to guard her should logically be a unicorn.

As for Cadence , Cadence was made an Alicorn for the act of directly Brainwashing an Mind Controlling others

with a form of magic that is hinted at , in the show , as being considered a bad thing , if not actually illegal .

And before you say anything , Cadence changes the feelings of others whithout their knowledge or permission

to do what she wants them to .

By that logic, Twilight was ascended in order to brainwash the world into Equestrian ways of thinking (Friendship is Magic) for the sake of national security. Not implausible, but that also makes it highly unlikely that this kind of magic and/or influence is outlawed in Equestria, and even if it were, that would make the alicorns more tyrannical than tribal or incompetent.

No, it is more likely that Cadence was ascended specifically for the purpose of effectively taking control of the Crystal Empire. The cutie mark, the way Celestia handled that whole affair, the real reason an alicorn of love was needed was for the power of the Crystal Heart to be used to both defeat Sombra and gain control of the Crystal Empire (as a vassal or union or whatever, the two are conjoined at this point).

It is completely impossible that no Pegasi or Earth Ponies qualified as Nobels if they where choosen by merit...

Nobles, an aristocracy, is not generally chosen via merit even in real world situations. If they were chosen via merits then they're not really a "noble" class at all, but just an "upper" or "privileged" class.

6947714

Actually my statements that are brought up in this fic. And that you've pointed out. Show that I'm right. And if you read the comment section it says that alot of the things that happen are accidental in nature. Still a lot more gets explained in further chapters into how things got this far.

But look at the following.

Celestia is in the Unicorn capitol of the world. While the other founders of Equestria did have representatives. You have to look into what type of ruling system they had. Pegasi were militaristic, and ran by a military ruler. So of course when Equestria got started, they'd take up the familiar mantle of warriors for their homeland.

Earth Ponies seemed to have a Council, or a collection of ponies who'd agree to do what needed to be done [something the Princesses took up] as well as look into communal affairs of their earth pony dominant lands.

Unicorns though. They've always governed. They were politicians, scholars, and in a time where one group was woefully uneducated, and the other military dogs. They were the smartest. Like Nobility of Earth's dark ages tended to be, having access to the greatest minds, the best literature, higher education, access to vast amounts of leisure time, and those under them to do the hard work for them.

So when Equestria was founded. The nobility stayed in a governing format. Near the capital and as you pointed out had the greatest advantage.

Now Celestia and Luna are products of their times. They are from a time when nobles governed and carried out their will. Pegasi were militaristic, but best when pointed at an enemy rather than a cooler head needed for logistics, strategy (beyond rain Lighting and Arrows down upon thy enemy), and non-lethal force. With Earth Ponies being an important agricultural back bone of society ensuring the land is fruitful. After all, Earth Ponies are great at many preternatural things. But unicorns go Ape Shit over that saying it's impossible. And most ponies, even Earth Ponies think that they are only good with Animals, and helping things grow / things of the earth. As well as the strongest / greatest endurance of all 3 races because of their connection to the earth. It's in the show. Implied and Addressed (partially).

Now Nobility still exists in the show's modern era. We have Princes, Princesses, a Unicorn Noble Class, that lives lifes of decadence, grovelling over Tia's hooves, and while it's possible that Tia granted Nobility [like with the Element Bearers when they were Knighted] to non-unicorns. A vast majority, and the only ones acknowledged to any real degree are unicorns.


Then you have all the points you made for me regarding Canterlot, and her School. Although you forgot to mention her personal students / protege's [all unicorn].

Now as for is she a Tribalist, Incompetent, or if this is a huge misunderstanding.

Follow the fic. See history playout before her eyes, and at the end of the story. Let me know what you think. After all, you have 3 sides / lines of thought in this. Even in the story itself ponies fall in 3 camps. 1) Is a tribalist; 2) Isn't a tribalist and all of this is misconstrued; and 3) Doesn't know which side to choose because there's a case for it either way. It's one of the best parts of the fic, it causes one to think, and at the end of the day. Even after reading it, still makes you think.

6947918

No problems ^_^.

And you've stated things better than I did XD. Although the Wonderbolt Academy is less of an elite school backed by the crown. And more a mix of a branch of the military / peace corps, and a private business mostly used in the entertainment industry [since they take in only those old enough to join who're in their high teens / adult ages. Rather than fillies / colts], and rather than give them schooling, gives them preparation of the job that is being a Wonderbolt.

My mouth opened and closed several times as I tried to comprehend the level of stupidity that was before me.

One look at the title, and I could feel a millenia of control almost break at the urge to facehoof.

Despite my previous comment, I have to point out that this can't possibly be that out of this world to Celestia. Maybe something like this hasn't popped up in awhile, but surely this isn't the first time this has come up right? Unless there is a civil rights headcanon that we haven't been introduced to yet.

Also, I have to point out that while it was an enjoyable read (funny too with the commentary) this part doesn't really sound like Celestia thoughts (since you're doing this 1st person and all):

Maybe hook her up with Pinkie’s newest creation, Red Minotaur. It does wonders.

Hook her up? While Celetia could plausibly be a facehoofer, I'm skeptical of her being the type to say "hook him/her up with stuff" even in her thoughts.

I'm also guessing that the next chapter has details on Parliament's reaction, however mellow, to the abrupt interruption.


*Post-Script

Although the Wonderbolt Academy is less of an elite school backed by the crown.

I disagree, the weather teams prepare one nicely for the general flying duties of the Wonderbolts, not to mention the existence of a Flight Camp.

6947918

Ignoring comic canon of Celestia and Luna originally being chosen for the job (and thus suggesting that Discord deposed them temporarily and seized control for himself) Discord ruled as a monarch,

Journal of the Two Sister had Celestia and Luna being chosen by Star Swirl because being an Alicorn meant that they would represent all three pony tribes, because the three currently still had bits of tribalism against each other. The creation of Equestria didn't mean they had given up their systems of government, just that they were more in a treaty with each other to work together. There was somewhat of a council of the three but they still debated on mostly their own tribes terms.

No, it is more likely that Cadence was ascended specifically for the purpose of effectively taking control of the Crystal Empire. The cutie mark, the way Celestia handled that whole affair, the real reason an alicorn of love was needed was for the power of the Crystal Heart to be used to both defeat Sombra and gain control of the Crystal Empire (as a vassal or union or whatever, the two are conjoined at this point).

Actually Celestia hadn't even met Cadence till she had ascended, here's a blurb that explains a bit of it.

She turns to Cadance, who tells her life story, how as a baby Pegasus she was found in the woods by Earth ponies, who took her to their village. When she grew up she reversed a love-stealing spell cast by a pony called Prismia. Prismia wore a magic-enhancing necklace that amplified her evil and jealousy, but when Cadance confronted her, the necklace amplified Cadance's love. Once Prismia changed her horrible ways, Cadance was surrounded by magical energy and transported to a strange place where she met Celestia, who adopted her as her royal niece.

6947986

The next chapter is actually shows the article itself. And you're right it has happened plenty of times in the past. With different wording, but everytime she makes a rather flashier than normal show to show that she isn't against non-unicorns and things die down. With each time she hopes that her ponies would get the point. Which causes it's own problems.


Although it hasn't happened in quite a few centuries, and things do get more clear as the fic progresses. There are a few things of which she isn't quite aware of, having delegated certain tasks to others almost a 8 centuries ago. Since as powerful as she is, there's only so much time in a day, and she can't be everywhere at once. With that trust / power. Also comes a degree of corruption and abuse of power, that while she does her best to prevent, doesn't always happen or happen in time.
_______________

Point in the flight schools. But those aren't backed by the crown, nor carries her name on it. I'm sure [and have used in my fics] that she's ensured that government has money set aside for schools, and even has quite a few schools of higher learning in Canterlot. But none of them are Celestia's School For X other than for Gifted Unicorns. Nor are there any cannon schools of the other Princesses either.

That and those schools aren't geared solely for the Wonderbolts, as much as they are generalized schools that prepare a Pegasi for Pegasi related duties, jobs, and fine tune their Pegasi Abilities. A small smattering of pegasi might be Wonderbolts material someday, but there it's mostly based on a mix of vetting, and tests to see those applicants that try out are worthy of the position.

6948017

The creation of Equestria didn't mean they had given up their systems of government, just that they were more in a treaty with each other to work together.

Yes, yes it did actually, at least on the national level. The effects of said decision (much like the US) might not have been immediately felt, but when they decided to establish a diarchy, their systems of governance (not cultures) were effectively put out of practice.

Actually Celestia hadn't even met Cadence till she had ascended, here's a blurb that explains a bit of it.

The blurb from the wikia explains how they met, but not necessarily that Cadance became an alicorn because of the magic that brought her to Celestia (divine providence if you will). I would need the comic pages detailing the event.

In any case, Celestia still made the conscious decision to adopt Cadance regardless of canons, which as we know from Celestia's canon character would have been done with a purpose in mind.

6948085

Not necessarily, on the diarchy bit. They founded their nation before the diarchy, and while the formation of a diarchy did give final power to the Princesses. Ponies aren't known well for their ability to handle change and the new. Taking ponies who were used to doing things a certain way, and having certain responsibilities. Then going away with it completely is a surefire way to instigate a revolt / civil unrest.

But you restructure things so that while, having less power, are basically doing the same things. The transition is much more smooth. That and with how slow ponies progress in lots of areas, fully stripping ponies who were used to playing a certain role, would have been catastrophic.
_____________________

As for Celestia and Cadance. In story cannon at least. You're right. She didn't know of her ahead of time, but ponies rarely end up in that Astral Plane without a good reason and she knew that Cadance would have a huge role to play in the future. It was merely bringing her under wing, giving her guidance, and making plans for numerous possibilities (with or without the help of her Prophetic Powers). Then it was mostly sitting back and ensuring her niece kept on a proper path to be the best pony she could be till the time was right.

Since in the show, Celestia said she didn't know much about the kingdom itself until Sombra took it over. But a pony who has power over love. That could be useful for many different things [especially since move huge magics / curses revolve around acts of love, or love itself as a power source. And if "Friendship is Magic", and love is a deeper form of friendship. Then it stands that love is a deeper form of Friendship Magic]

6948085

Yes, yes it did actually, at least on the national level. The effects of said decision (much like the US) might not have been immediately felt, but when they decided to establish a diarchy, their systems of governance (not cultures) were effectively put out of practice.

Equestria was formed from the treaty of the three tribes, before Celestia and Luna's Diarchy

In any case, Celestia still made the conscious decision to adopt Cadance regardless of canons, which as we know from Celestia's canon character would have been done with a purpose in mind.

Well of course, still Celestia afterall. :trollestia:

Interesting. I would very much like to see where this goes.

Given that the nobility and high ranking positions in the guard are all unicorns, and Celestia only ever opened up on school with her name on it for unicorns, I'm not surprised at this.

6948175 I'm wondering how your going to handle Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns and the fact of the belief that only Unicorns can do magic? With the most BLATANT COUNTER FACT THAT Zecora can wield magic!!!! Not the same way that Unicorns can but if that wasn't a spell she used on Nightmare Night i don't know what else to call it. She blatantly a Shaman or Witch Doctor of some kind. Than there's Pinkie Pie... lets... just... erm file her under Magical Anomaly and call it a day.

You know, I think I'll like the concept behind this and what the story is about, but I think you really need a proofreader. There are some seriously sloppy errors and simply misapplied words scattered all throughout this chapter.

6948721

Pinkie is covered in the Sequel. And is awesome.

As for Zecora and other non-unicorn magic casters other than Pinks, that does get not only addressed, but looked into in the sequel [although writing in rhyme is quite the challenge. Especially making it so it's not 100% terribad].


6949109

I do have an Editor on this, but I guess that there were things that he and the automatic Google spell checker missed XD. Sorry about that, I hope it's nothing to bad.

6949281
It's comparatively minor, but noticeable enough. Not really any spelling errors, but some things just don't actually mean what they should or are phrased in ways that don't really work that way in English.

6949307

XD. Actually that's always been a problem of mine, even in IRL. I usually count on Editors / Pre-readers to catch the times I do that though when it comes to the written word.

The premise screams comedy, yet the tags say the opposite... do I dare to read?

6951248

:scootangel:, the next chapter comes out tomorrow if you want to stick around long enough to find out :twilightsmile:.

6951322 Plot twist: it's all true. Her actions from on high actually do impact non-unicorns more.

Sunbutt Glitter. Now that was just spiteful.

Also, kind of the same issue as the last one. The parts between the article sections aren't so bad, but the articles are seriously horrendously badly written. It seems like half of the sentences in those sections literally break up in the middle and are hacked into parts that make no grammatical sense whatsoever.

well her past is calling and it wants to bite her in the flank. While im interested in the rest of the article it is poorly written with grammatical mistakes through out.

6952556
6952552

Would any of you two be interested in being an editor in this fic? Honestly grammar is one of the few things I rely on editors for XD.

6952587
Sorry, I kind of already edit two and promised to help with a third. In all honesty, this is something you should also try to work on yourself. You shouldn't rely on editors for everything about that sort of thing, or you'll end up with something that's 90% someone else's writing and really only has your name tacked onto it anymore.

It's a good story, but mother of god, the grammar! It's absolutely shite, especially in the news articles. Here's an example of a particular problem that I kept seeing over and over in this chapter and the last:

History has shown that these ponies were either Flares, ponies with magical reserves far beyond normal as well as their ability to control safely. As well as unicorns of extraordinary talent, who paved the way as prodigies in their field.

That shouldn't be two sentences. It should be one, separated with a comma. I'd also like the point out that I have no idea what you were even trying to say when you wrote "as well as their ability to control safely". I think you're missing a few words there.

6952644

True ... do you know any good, free grammar checking programs / sites to run the chapters through?


6952648

Yeah ... I need to get a second set of eyes on this XD. I'll be posting up edited chapters after the first two get fixed.

6952657
Sorry, no. Grammar checking is one of those things that machines just can't really do. It involves actually comprehending what a text means and is supposed to tell the reader. They're just not smart enough for that.

6952657 I'd offer my own help, but I'm a slow worker. A site that checks for grammar only really works for spellings, which you seem to be ok with. Like wlam said, a computer just isn't capable of understanding what you meant and fixing things accordingly, especially in the very specific context of MLP. You need an actual person for that.

6952660
No problems ^_^. I'm going to look around, and hopefully I can find someone as well as get it all fixed up before I get finished with this fic and move onto the sequel. I'll be putting up *edited* next to the updated chapters that are fixed / were in need of fixing.

Hopefully the content itself is good enough until then :scootangel:. But it will be something that I'll work on fixing asap.


6952667

Ah ... I'll ask around then. Grammar is one of my weak points. Good on spelling, some dialects, and paragraph / dialog structure. But grammar and my sometimes weird word usage is usually what I bring others in for. Thanks for the critique though ^_^. It's been appreciated.

Ri2

…So. Them marems, eh?

6952834

Yep, it was a nice thought on Tia's part ... but rather poor in its execution. That and she comes from an age where the more mates one had the more one could protect their lineage, as well as a sign of power and affluence. Seeing as having large numbers meant that you were wealthy enough to care for them and powerful enough to protect such a number.


6952854

Don't forget the about:

4.bp.blogspot.com/_oLzZ1Fows8M/TTLggOS1G9I/AAAAAAAAAH8/hHQ6Zef8NhA/s1600/whoopass2.jpg

I hope Twilight reads about how they misspelled poor Sunset Shimmer's name, she is her friend after all. It makes me wonder how this will all shake down during the story.

Good Grief Pony SJWs (it's Unicorns offended on BEHALF of other tribes). And yea Cadance got to avoid Score didn't she, certainly makes it convenient for the paper that they don't need to risk their position by imply the Princess of Love, an Ascended Pegasus, is a tribalist. But then like I already commented things don't need to be true to seem true.

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