• Member Since 11th Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

TheGreatEater


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Filly Twilight has read to many books, and to allow other fillies and colts the chance to win things is banned. But she get's something special for her efforts. It's what I think happens between Twilight seeing Princess Celestia raise the sun, and the entrance exam.


Art done by, Hinoratio

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 39 )

buck ya! i would do anything for free icecream:twilightsmile::twilightsheepish:

2738339
OMg:pinkiegasp: that is some amazing ice cream :heart::twilightsmile:

Aawwww..




2738128
I will take your flank, and turn it into cake.

Ice cream, the one thing that leads to you true calling. :facehoof:

Nothing terrible, no glaring mistakes (other than "forth" right at the beginning) but this wasn't particularly good either.

This just needs more effort over-all: make it longer, make it more interesting, don't leave the reader trying to piece together something like a board-game that gives prizes based on reading. Or declaring a six-year-old has a college reading level.

2742650

I did. This was actually based on what happened to me in the Paradise Valley Book Club, and my first favorite book was an Encyclopedia of Snakes. Took me a week to finish it, but I loved it. And from the ages of 6 - 14 my life revolved around Reading on every spare moment I had. Add in chronic insomnia and I did alot of reading.]


As for Paradise Valley Public Library [Phoenix, AZ.]. My baby brother was 1 at the time and I wanted to get him gifts too. So from the moment I woke up to the moment I fell asleep other than Bath time, and Breakfast/Lunch/Dinner. I spent reading a veritable mountain of books. Each block was one hr of reading and to say the least I breezed through them.


Eventually I was told that I was banned from the book club for the same reason Twilight was given. A document that has long since been lost do to constant moving signed by John McCain and the Head Librarian with some hooblah about me reading more than anyone in the program ever had. And something something something. [It's been 20 yrs since I saw it]. And I got a coupon for Dairy Queen and I got a Clown Face Ice cream thingy they used to have. It was green with strawberry for the eyes.


So that is realistic. That and this is Twilight. and she was 8 when she did got banned.


But how would you suggest making it more interesting?

Hehe shes so cute!

2742721

I kind of assumed this was a real thing. But realism isn't your only goal, especially when writing (of all things) fiction OF fiction.

I mean, yeah, good for you and all that. That's a great story for friends and family. And having experienced that, you can identify with the characters more when they undergo a similar experience.

But when you're writing for a mass audience, you need some razzle dazzle:trixieshiftright:

Take the basic concept: filly Twilight reads so much she gets banned from a reading rewards program. This is good slice-of-life stuff.

Next, create the conflict. You had Twilight freak out in the library when she thought she was banned, and it works because Twilight's character flaw is over-reacting and panicking. But instead of throwing this in right before resolution, this should've been somewhere between the beginning and middle. Then the audience can say "Oh, little kids always like to freak out over little things, haha."

You could elaborate on this by having that misunderstanding between Twilight and the librarian cause, among other things, existential crisis ("All I love is books and now books are gone"), fear/avoidance of punishment ("What if mom/dad find out?"), shame ("What if my brother finds out?") or an elaborate ruse (" I'll staple cardboard and paper towels together and stare at it. They'll never know it's a fake book"):twilightoops:.

After dragging Twilight through the Briar patch, THEN she gets ice cream and resolves her problems.

EDIT: found the picture's source for you: http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/358/c/e/mlp_fim__baby_twilight_sparkles_by_hinoraito-d5p15jz.jpg

Artist is Hinoraito. Google doesn't draw the pictures.

2750576

Ah! That actually sounds like it'd add onto the adorable factor :twilightsmile:. Although it'll probably have to wait until my editor has some free time to go over any fixes I make before the edited version gets up.


Thank you for your suggestions, and I'll send you a pm after I add in some razzle dazzle to spice it up.

Edit:

Thanks for the Artists name

:rainbowlaugh: both versions are good.

I like both but you may want to go back and fix some of the BBFFF to BBBFF :twilightsmile:

2799672

Thank you for the comment, and thank you for pointing that out. :twilightsmile:. I fixed them up :twilightsheepish:.

Twilight being banned from a book club at 8yrs old, I can so TOTALLY believe it:twilightoops:

Such a lovely story! Laughed at all the cute frivolous situations. You have made my day, keep writing. Definitely earned a thumbs up. Enjoyed the the scene and characters, both intertwining to fit perfectly, even with the book-fort. :twilightblush:

Maybe this is an appropriate Twilight response a few years later: :facehoof:

Ha Ha Ha

3776833

Thank you, and it definitely an embarrassing family story for her parents to tell Twilight's marefriend someday.

3777515

Twilight's marefriend

HMFF!

marefriend

That's rather assuming, don't you think? Who knows if she swings that way! :trollestia:

3807363

Canon Gender Split. Statistically speaking mares have a higher chance of being with a mare than with a stallion. Then you have the point that canonically she has more of a realistic foundation than with any male [that is to say none [and I don't count EQgirls as canon [neither do some of the writers so it's still questionable]] on the show :rainbowlaugh:.

3807399

Yes, but all of that hasn't happened yet. Who knows? This incarnation of Twilight might drop a muffin when the canon Twilight ate it, and wind up going down an entirely different path.

3807536

True, but then you still have statistics. And a filly crush on her Princess when she gets into her school. She still has a staggeringly higher chance of meeting a mare than with a stallion. Adding to the fact that she's under the roof of her filly crush and those element bearers [the 18/24 different ponies they could end up being] have a staggeringly high chance of being female. She'll have a marefriend.

3807614

But who's to say that places we haven't seen yet don't have an equally skewed gender ratio in the opposite direction? Just because we haven't seen it, doesn't mean it couldn't exist.

3807651

Easy. Scientificaly speaking. When looking at the planet as a whole. And seeing the populace from multiple settlements, especially the biggest cities in Equestria. And the end is 1.85 females per male [slightly higher than the gender split after the Civil war in the US]. Then that shows that the world as a whole with ponies is going to be a higher rate of female births than male.

As for how ponies can give birth with an abnormally high female ratio. Simple. Magic. After all scientifically speaking, there is scientific procedures in development that can use one egg to impregnate another one. With a unicorn magic (and doctors who specialize in biological magics) there's no reason that their need to further the species wouldn't allow them to invent spells allowing a female to impregnate another one. And if they are teaching quantum mechanics in school (in Cheerilee's class room one of the equations was for quantum mechanics which is pretty cool). Then there's no reason that the scientific experiments needed to do said impregnations wouldn't be another viability.

3807748

So... what you're saying is we should start eliminating more males, and then we can have two girls each?

3807912

No need to eliminate males. There's few enough as is. But it's a world geared to little girls as the primary demographic. Where the only large amount of males is either villains or in the gaurd. I'm just saying that F/F shipping and pairing is more likely than not. And with Twilight / Mane 6 it's more likely. As well as has a more deeper foundation than with males.

And it's not that I don't like Straight pairing in other universes where the gender split is more like it is on earth [execpt China where there's so few females that most Chinese males will never marry or know what sex with a female is like. So reverse FIMVerse.]. Where it'd happen [basically every Universe that I follow [story and movie wise other than this one]. But in FIMVerse the chances of a straight pairing are just scientifically improbable for most of the population.

Adding to the fact that there has been enough canon hints that the mane 6 - Rares are into mares. Then it just goes to say. Twilight would bring home a marefriend.

3808350

Reviewing what you were saying, I see where I made a mistake - I assumed the gender ratio you gave was a gender ratio of females to males in our current world.

3808923

Nope. The blog given has me listing every time a mare/ filly was mentioned. And every time a colt or Stallion was mentioned on the Mlpwikia site. Then I calculated then I calculated everything. But that's purely for FimVerse.

And it's all good :pinkiehappy:. I'm glad that the little miscommunication could be cleared up.

Oh my god, I think I just got cuteness overdose!

2750576 How To Make Book Tent

:rainbowlaugh:

I DON’T WANT TO BE A SUN BAKED ZOMBIE!

With that and having spent days downing Waking Potions, and sleep and food deprivation she passed out on the book cover.

That is so much Twilight. :twilightsmile:

Loading up the cart with as many books as many books as she could push she headed to the checkout desk.

(In Traditional Royal Canterlot Voice) The 'as many books' has been doubled!

At this point Twilight started to ball.

Unless she's curling up into a ball, I think you mean bawl.

We are always glad to have such a little thespian in our midst.

:rainbowhuh: Isn't a thespian an actor? Or is this a reference to her freak-out?

Overall: :rainbowlaugh: just :rainbowlaugh:.

4658886

Fixed the typo thanks, and changed thespian to scholar. Although filly Twilight is a rather large ham.

And thanks for the compliments :twilightsmile:.

4658973 You're welcome. Crazy filly Twilight is best Twilight. :yay:

It's So adorkable. My whole 3rd year in high school was spent ditchin in the theatre or the library, This was a sweet canon (like a nuclear canon) story .:twilightblush:

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