- Member Since 10th Jun, 2013
- offline last seen Last Wednesday
Matt11
I'm a recently returned writer and plan to release alot of stories again.
Matt11
Joined 10th Jun, 2013 ·
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I must say, that's really cute. Could be maybe a bit longer, but still a good job^^
5533249 I can't exacly find a good coverart. but thx for the help.
5533296 Just find something with a cute scootaloo. That can't be too hard, right?
What's with the 'M' rating?
And I honestly don't believe that there was an editor present.
5533304 it wouldn't get approved unless it was rated M, fetish fics must have M or they will never get approved
5533309 Reeeeeaaaaaly?
Well, the more ya know.
5533309 I didn't really see anything fetishy about this, so I think it could've been rated Teen or possibly even Everyone. I would've rated it Teen just to be safe.
5533359
mod said that to me so it had to be rated M.
5533362 - huh, must be one of those funny borderline cases. I definitely didn't find anything adult in this very cute fic. I suppose technically it is adult baby fetish material and so falls under mature despite being perfectly tame.
5533362 Well, can't argue with that.
You need to proofread your work before you post it. Here's your short description as it appears (Remember, this is an attempt to entice readers to check out your story):
Misstaken for A foal
Scootaloo is exited to go to the wonderbolt academy to meet Spitfire with her big sister, she's been waiting for weeks, however things don't go as planed once they arrive.
That's about 35 words that you're sharing with the world, and they contain 3 spelling errors and 4 capitalization errors. That and the whole thing is one, big run-on sentence.
Here's a suggestion:
Mistaken for a Foal
Scootaloo is excited to go with her sister to the Wonderbolt Academy to meet Spitfire. She's been waiting for weeks. However, things don't go as planned once they arrive.
You have an intriguing idea for a story, but there's no way that I'm going to slog through 2,600 words of poorly edited material, and I think many readers will reach the same conclusion. Keep writing, but take pride in what you publish!
Why does it say that there aren't any words in this story?
5533895 no idea, maybe a site glich.
5533614 Good advice. (It's unfortunate it had 2 thumbs down. Good advice isn't easy to come by.) It appears it's been applied almost entirely. This part is all that's left to correct. It was probably missed since no emphasis was made before.
And here's my part: the gift of a little proofreading... because I like cute filly fics.
- lower-case 'o'
(Maybe your spell-checker thought this was a name and failed to recognize it uncapitalized. Spellcheckers are wrong sometimes.)
- add period after 'frown'
capitalize 'dash'
add comma after 'eating'
replace the comma after 'overslept' with a period
capitalize 'squirt'
('Squirt' here is used as a name.)
add comma after 'passenger'
add comma after 'office'
add comma after 'arrived'
capitalize 'dash'
capitalize 'squirt'
add commas after 'but' and after 'again'
- add commas after 'in' and after 'empty'
- replace the comma after 'surprisingly' with a period
- capitalize 'all'
add comma after 'things'
- replace the comma after 'nursery' with a period
- capitalize 'setting'
- add comma after 'mat'
add comma after 'down'
- add comma after 'hooves'
- add commas after 'but' and after 'mitten'
(Parentheticals are surrounded by commas.)
add comma after 'neck'
add comma after 'meaningless'
capitalize 'cutie'
- add comma after 'finished'
- For your OCD readers, I recommend replacing the ["] character at the end, instead, with [”]... please.
add commas after 'foal' and after 'name'
add aporstrophy after 'name' (name's)
capitalize 'dearie'
- name's
- add comma after 'Scootaloo'
lower-case 's' in 'such'
- add comma after the first 'play'
- add commas after 'and' and after the 'hours'
add comma after 'chair'
(Alternately, you could rephrase this into sentences.)
Using quotes without italics makes it look like she's speaking. Consider italicizing the quote for clarity's sake.
add comma after 'mess'
add comma after 'mind'
hyphenate 'three-year-old'
- add comma after 'tower'
- add commas after 'and' and after 'did'
add comma after 'hour'
add comma after 'there'
add comma after 'chair'
- add comma after 'foal'
- add apostrophe after 'Let' (Let's)
add comma after 'cabinet'
add comma after 'spoonful'
- replace the comma with a period
- capitalize the first 'choo'
- replace the comma after 'mouth' with a period
- italicize Scootaloo's thought
add comma after 'finished'
- add comma after 'it'
- add commas after 'but' and after 'drinking'
add comma after 'finished'
remove the comma after 'burp'
let's
"Same process" as what? "Same process as earlier" or "Same process as before" would add needed clarity
- add comma after 'diaper'
- remove comma after 'crib'
- replace the comma after 'forehead' with a period
- lower case 'n' in 'Night'
- add space between 'bed' and 'bugs' (not a compound word)
add comma after 'by'
add comma after 'asked'
remove both apostrophies
add comma after 'room'
add comma after 'got in'
- remove the comma
- italicize the thought unless she's thinking out loud, in which case, maybe say "she thought out loud."
add period after 'Dash'
replace 'an' with 'a'
(Words starting with and including 'one' are preceeded by the article 'a,' not 'an.')
replace the comma with a period
- replace 'wide-eye' with 'wide-eyed'
- add comma after 'wide-eyed'
capitalize 'squirt'
- add comma fter 'dry'
- correct 'Fash' ('Dash')
Squirt
add comma after 'here'
(D'aww!)
let's
shook
I recommend using bold instead of allcaps for emphasis. Looks much better and more professional.
add comma after 'it'
I could nitpick over other things like the lack of appropriate use of any past perfect verb tense, but if you're not comfortable writing with it, then you did the right thing to avoid it. Overall, it's written in a good clean style that reminds me of a child's story book. Cute and fun.
5534338
I would definitely send this as a PM to the author.
5534388 Considered that option. Reasons.
5534395
Well your reasons are misguided.
5534410 maaaaaybe
but nah.
5534338 "aporstrophy" is quite the typo.
5534482 Hehe. Quite. I guess that's what happens when I type stuff in a plain text editor rather than in something with spell check.
Well it was an intesting read 2 things. It's a bit short but it is a one shot so kk. Scoots seems WAY to calm abut this especially wetting herself
5537283 I tried making it so she hated it the whole time, and she was to tired to even care about the wetting part.
5534338 I will try to fix some of that.... sorry its very long.
5537731 It is very long, but I've posted longer on other stories with fewer words. Like I said, good style overall, and it looks like your editor is decent. Glad I could help!
5537723 Ok fair enough :)
Im sure alot of people have already told you about the grammar or spelling
So im just going to say it was good there should be more stories like this short and sweet :)
5533178 thx, might be working on another padded fic one of these days.
Before I go on to read the story, I felt I should leave a short message about the Summary.
The first point is that it is completely lacking Paragraphs.
I do like the little warning, just in case we thought it was a different story.
would be better like ==>
she quickly finds that things don't turn out how she hoped.
5533249 Woah, a Double "That" is one too many, isn't it?
5542121 omg just noticed I put 2 thats in that summery XD, I shall fix that.
5542162 kind of embarrassing, but now that is out of the world.
One step closer to that one perfect story.
Now I guess it is time to start reading the story.,
Very cute and hilarious as well.
5566366 glad ya liked it.
5533249 Eh, I had nothing to do with the front page. I only worked on the actual story so any errors in the title or description aren't my fault. Considering the subject matter didn't interest me I might have zoned out a little and missed things but you don't have to be a jerk about it and demand he get rid of me. You should have seen what it looked like before.
5533249 ya know... I have to agree with 5571258 you were acting like a jerk and for the record I got a spelling disability, I honesly don't care how the editing is, as long as its readable its ok,
I thought that overall this was indeed a good little story that was indeed worth both in reading and in favouriting. I am glad that I have chosen to follow you because I like your stories. This was a sweet little fluffy tale and I didn't even really notice the spelling errors or the grammatical errors as to me they weren't really that obvious. (my sister and best friend suffer badly from dyslexia so I can understand it). You can still write a decent story and it is easy to understand your writing.
I shall be reading more of your stuff and in commenting. Take it easy my friend! This was really fun to read!!
-Frost
5690036 I got a learning disability um club foot and a few other things I can't remember, I used to have a reading disability but thinks to this site I moved past that.
From what I understand, you have a disability (I'm not sure if thats the right word to use) that affects your spelling. Even with minor errors due to that, this is still pretty well written. Pacing is decent, characterization is very good, and this just might have changed my outlook on padded pony stories. I believe you have earned yourself a follower.
5698224 Thx, I still got some issues with doing Punctuation, never learned it in school, my teacher didn't teach me that for an odd reason.
How did you get a zoomed in picture of that image for your coverart?
5795577 I edited the pic so that it would fit. I used paint tool to edit it.
I don't get why this is mature...
6018785 A Mod said it needed to be.
This was an okay fic. As everyone has already pointed out:GRAMMAR PUNCTUATION SPELLING EDITING PROOFREADING blah blah blah. But the plot was nice and I liked it overall. This was not written in the best way, it seemed just like a bland cardboard cut out of an RP. It seemed like a robot just going on like, first this happened. Then this happened. Etc... Good job, anyways and I hope you have a nice day!
Editing: 4/10
Clarity: 8/10
Impact: 7/10
Final Rating: 6/10
I'm planning to do a sequel to this fic, involving Fleetfoot getting physically regressed, and being taken care of by the mare featured in this fic.
6424958 That sounds awesome, this blind pony has recently became my Padded pony type OC for stories like this, she maybe used again in a story by me oneday.
6424958 Just noticed the fic says 0 words, nice little glitch it has.
Very cute. I'm happy to see a story where somepony enjoyed being pampered
6425005 The sequel is up and can be found here.
6018841
That makes literally ZERO sense.