• Member Since 10th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Matt11


I'm a recently returned writer and plan to release alot of stories again.

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Source

Everypony should be with their family on Hearths Warming Eve. So when Fluttershy sees Scootaloo being bullied for being an orphan, she makes it her mission to give Scootaloo a home for Hearths Warming.


Editor/proof reader: RaylanKrios

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 45 )

5703817 fixed and think you.

Oh god so much HNNNNNNG

i like it a lot

Daytime Garden smiled but had one last question. “Last one, you live alone, who will care for her if you're gone?

Fluttershy smiled, “I know someone who can, my friend, Discord. He’s great with kids.” she said.

In that very moment, Princess Celestia and Rainbow Dash both shuddered in fear, neither knowing the doom that had just been laid before them. At the same moment, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle felt a surge of magic in their flank, and knew that they were feeling their potential cutie marks preparing to be epic.

A few errors here and there, but none of them could drown out the feels I go from reading the last part! great job!:scootangel::yay:

5704330
5704356 thinks. I've always wanted to do at lest one story on Shy adoption her, and glad to see its doing good.

5704384 WAH!:pinkiegasp: I didn't realise you were the author. Should have known though!:rainbowlaugh: You being scoots biggest fan!:scootangel: It was really good! I'm fave'n it!

5704401 I'm an idiot was looking for errors unpublished by accident when finished.... they really need to move that button somewhere else....

5704452 I know what you mean.

I love it:heart: please let there be a sequal one day

Not bad, there's a good deal of heart in this. Even if it is too late to be Christmas related.

5705304
5704543 when I got time,I might do a sequel more focused on their life together. but to busy with other things.

It's nothing short of a Hearth's Warming miracle! The government would never be this streamlined normally!

Also, because Christmas, adoption, and motherhood, I present a carol to the tune of "Greensleeves"

Lovely story. i enjoyed it very much.

Very sweet story even if what Twilight said made me want to punch her in the face. No child should have to deal with bullies.

Not a bad premise, but it moved way too fast. Plus Twilight seemed out of character and Scootaloo was as well. I can deal with Scootaloo OoC since adoption and a home can easily make a tough person/pony break down or cry in joy. Twilight saying she should deal with her bullies herself basically goes against her character in the show and her position as a princess. Princess of Friendship telling/implying that a filly she knows she deal with a problem herself? Not a good friend.

That being said, it's still a good prompt plus I love Scootadopt. It was alright overall. I'd say work on the characterization of the characters and pacing a bit more and you'll go a long way.

5706691 I can understand what she was trying to say. She wanted Scootaloo to be able to stand up for herself, but it's one thing to just ignore idle teasing. It's another thing entirely to stand up against blantant bullying, especially the kind of bullying Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon partake in.

5708271
5706691 when I wrote Twilight the way I did, I wrote it part of how my days in school were, in school teachers don't do anything to help you, teachers can careless about the kids, so I practically wrote Twilight like a teacher, I now know that in order to defeat a bully you must face them alone.

5707607 thx for the advice.

HOLY HORSEAPPLES THAT WENT FAST. Seriously, I'm not disapproving your story. It's quite cute and a nice read, But Buck if it doesn't tie itself up quickly. She goes to the shops, sees a little orphan filly getting bullied and adopts just her like that. Just 'Can I have her?' home inspection, 'yep, it's all fine.' Done and dusted. Sorry, maybe it's because I'm used to more pacing in stories, but I just really thought you could have wrote this... Differently. I'm only saying this because I have seen this EXACT SAME STORY from others and I always see it as a cute one chapter flick through. Whatever, anyway I still liked it all the same.

5710018 well I'll be doing a sequel at one point.

5710026 I'm quite glad that you have decided to follow onto this story. I hope for it to be just as enjoyable. (Although I hope you think of your grammar and spellings a little more.) Remember, there is no need to rush a great story. :twilightsmile:

5708405

I can understand why you did that, but you have to remember to keep them in character (for the most part at least). Twilight is more of a mentor or tutor than a teacher (e.g. Twilight Time). Portraying Cheerilee as you did Twilight would have fit much better. Think of Twilight here more like a close family friend or something.

Daytime Garden smiled but had one last question. “Last one, you live alone, who will care for her if you're gone?
Fluttershy smiled, “I know someone who can, my friend, Discord. He’s great with kids.” she said.

Now THAT I have to see. Just picture the lovely chaos Discord and a single member of the CMC could get into. Add the other two and we have a recipe for pure chaos pie. (Happy PIE day everyone :pinkiecrazy::pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy::pinkiesad2::pinkiesmile:)

a little dry in a few parts, but over all a good story. also,

I know someone who can, my friend, Discord. He’s great with kids.

I'm honestly surprised Daytime Garden didn't at least hesitate at that. I mean, the library was in this, meaning before season 4 finale and before everypony accepted that discord had truly learned to mend his ways.

This was super cute!!

manly tears fell from my eyes after reading this.

This was bittersweet I loved it this should be a series

5851191 there will be a sequel sometime and maybe a side fic with Discord foalsitting Scoots.

5851200 Discord foalsitting Scootaloo should be quite interesting. I wonder if, since Fluttershy legally adopted Scootaloo, does that make Discord Scootaloo's father, or maybe uncle? (Probably not officially, unless he and Fluttershy have been dating).

5853739 heh I didn't explane if they were dating weather or not but that's cus I haven't decided on that.

An adorable Scootadopt. It moved a little too quick for me, but it was touching enough that it wasn't a big deal. I look forward to reading the sequel. When you find the time, that is. :yay::heart::scootangel:

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are stuck with booorrrriiinnggg parents. Scootaloo has the best mom ever. Take that, rich snobs. (:heart: this fic!)

6186215 There are some things money can't buy, one of them is a good home with loving parents.

6245950 once I work. On it. But still trying to figure out a name for it.

for Pinkie Pie a new party canon,

THEY SELL THESE THINGS??!!!!

Hmm.. there are grammar errors but the story is so good that it really come off as oh, hey, a comma should be there. Nothing serious, but I would suggest a proofreader.

It felt very rushed to me. The grammar wasn't bad though, and scene presentation was nice. Just doubling the length and having Scootaloo react more slowly, and Fluttershy decide to adopt her after showing a better reason to than apparently on a whim. But not bad.

6246202 What will the sequel focus on? I'm curious as to how Discord would feel about Scootaloo's presence around Fluttershy's cottage, especially given how he reacted to Fluttershy inviting Tree Hugger to the gala instead of him.

I found the pacing to to fast. In my option stories like this should have meaning and not just she got bullied for being an orphan. This is a decent story even with the pacing issue but it could have been better if it was more than one chapter as stories like these struggle to do well we it one chapter.

Really good. But so many pacing issues. First noticed in the very first line:

Fluttershy watered her plants and fed her birds, then she moved on to her pet Angel.

Sorry, where is she? What's going on? Feel like you need a bit of establishing text. Maybe a bit establishing the weather at least. It being winter at Fluttershy's cottage is a brilliant opportunity for some flowery establishing text.

But this continues throughout the piece. Things need to be spaced out a bit. Just doesn't flow right.

But other than that, I liked it.

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