• Member Since 10th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen March 18th

Matt11


I'm a recently returned writer and plan to release alot of stories again.

Comments ( 91 )

5087947 *Giggles* sweet

It is good but needs some editing, at least, towards the beginning I noticed a few mistakes. Nothing too serious, just a suggestion.

5088016 k I'll see if my editor has time to fix those but thx

5088295 glad you like it there is more to come once I get started on chapter 2 :scootangel:

damnit I was about to say that. WAIT HOLD ON A second hey trickster. yea im talking to you matt11. taking her outside isn't technicly breaking the promise because what if rainbow dash flys over head and sees scootaloo.
ha flaws so easy but yet so hard:rainbowlaugh:

5088332 RD will find out sooner or later so yeah

Outside of the rather sudden Scootabelle crush, this was a good first chapter. :pinkiehappy:

I can't wait for more. :heart:

5088621 excellent sorry that its short but this story will prob be 1k at the most for each chapter

5088631 Take your time, and include as much as you can. Don't try to rush through it.

5088640 oh just wait till DT and SS see Scootaloo lol poor filly

5088645 Hopefully Scootaloo will get her revenge.

This story is like my algebra class. Fun but confusing.

5088621 also Scootabelle is prob one of my fav shippings, but this is a padded fic not like there gona make out or anything only thing to ecpec is humiliation/cuteness lol

5089563 And possible retaliation on Scootaloo's part.

5089574 retaliation hm unless she gets her cutie mark she won't be retalating anything lol but only I know the true ending

5089583 Still, hopefully she'll get some form of revenge on two certain ponies who will undoubtly laugh at her.

honestly.. its a good ideas... buts its ooc at the end for scootallo.... the three of them wouldnt embarass each other so bad that they would be possibly scarred for life like this.... and you also need an editor for this. as i had to read almost every line twice or even thrice. good idea... but needs some work.

5090190 of course its going to be OOC that's why I put the AU tag there, then again this is juse your opionin

5090190 How is it OOC for her to be furious at the idea of going to school while dressed up like a foal? If anything, that's perfectly in character for her.

5091330 its ooc for the cmc... they wouldnt diaper up scootaloo and bring her to school, knowing full well diamon tiara and silver spoon would be there... it would kill scootaloo even worse then blank flank or cant fly.

5091350 Well, it's probably OOC for Apple Bloom. But Sweetie Belle can be a bit naive at times.

5091358 thats true, but still.... this would kill scootaloo inside...and honestly, it would have been funnier if they would have gotten silver spoon as their baby.

5091403 Ahhhh. I see what you did there.

5093237 Yeah. The only thing is, there's no way the CMC could ever willingly get Diamond Tiara to be their baby. Unless you were to make an alternative universe where they're friends. (I would write something like that, but I'm not 100% sure everyone would like it.)

5093399 Or it could go down the pattycakes way.

5095634 Maybe, but I'd rather not go that route. Even if Diamond Tiara is a brat, she doesn't deserve to be kidnapped and held against her will.

5095716 Well I had it up to (distance from sea level to the moon) with Diamond Tiara for making fun of my favorite filly by stating that she can't fly so I think she deserves it.

5095742 I was thinking that she gets paired up with the CMC for a group project, and said project involves taking care of a baby. So the four fillies draw straws to decide who gets foalified, and Diamond Tiara draws the shortest straw.

5095771 Let's write that story together. Ok?

5095786 I've never done a colaberation before.

5095826 I haven't either. It will be a new experience for you and I

5095832 Well, the thing is, I don't use any sort of editing software. Not even google documents.

5095837 I don't have one either. I'm using my phone for everything I do on fimfiction.

5095841 I don't even use my phone.

5095843 The reason I'm using my phone is because my Dad took my laptop.

5095854 Well, I'll see what I can do. But I won't write it right now.

5095863 K. The credit for the story shall be 50-50.

5096086 So any ideas on how to start it off?

5096091 Probably with Diamond Tiara teasing the CMC as usual, and the CMC vowing to somehow get even.

5096122 Then comes the pairing up for the assignment, then the drawing of straws, and then the foalifying.

5096204 What should the title be?

5096213 Diamond Tiara's Not So Dazzling Days in A Diaper

If you have a better idea for a title, I'm all ears.

Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, and sweetie belle lay defeated on the ground in the park* they had just tried getting their cutie marks by destroying the foal rides. But unfortunately for them they had an angry mob after them, and their sisters had to come to put an end to the chaos they had made

Sweetie Belle.

*Missing period/Run on sentence.

“Come on girls, lets be cutie mark crusaders, uh mansion destroyers. after all Diamond Tiara does not need that place hehe” Scootaloo cackled evilly.

MISSING PUNCTUATION EVERYWHERE! I've added in the correct punctuation's in bold. Cutie Mark Crusaders should be capitalized.

“Actually Scootaloo lets just call it a night, maybe we can think of a better idea tomorrow…..ok” Apple Bloom tiredly answered as they walked away front hooves waving goodbye to her friend.

Again with the missing punctuation's! You've got the comma in the wrong spot. it should be right after Scootaloo. And after lets just call just call it a night, should be a period. Not a comma.

Your editor is not doing a very good job. I'm not trying to come across rude here, but there are just so many errors in this story. I tried to read it, I really did but all these errors make it nigh impossible to read. Please, I urge you to find an editor who knows what they are doing.

5098017 honestly finding extremely good editors is hard considering I've gotten about 20 and a lot were not that great unless you know someone who can handle the way I um type

Comment posted by SuperPinkBrony12 deleted Oct 6th, 2014
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