The history books say that Commander Hurricane and his lieutenants Lightning Streak and Ice Wing successfully brought the Pegasi nation into a firm alliance with the other races, establishing a new country under the Royals in Equestria. Yet, time tends to forget the darker details of history. Not everypony was happy to see the mighty and miltant Pegasi subdued under the 'beneficial' union with the other races. The ensuing internal struggle would fade into Pegasi myth, a secret long thought laid to rest...
Thousands of years have passed. Equestria has been at peace under the Diarchy of Celestia and Luna. Nopony recalls the forgotten history of the Pegasi. It is all about to change. Storms from the past are on the horizon, an ancient vengeance set to transform Equestria. Only three unsuspecting pegasi stand destined to turn back the storm; to discover the forgotten Legacy of the Pegasi.
Proofread by SeerGun
I'll give 'er a read later on. Concept is new, I guess, haven't been around long enough to really say it.
Pretty good first chapter.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
This is really interesting you know o.o i'll be waiting for more!
Waiting~
This was probably the last story I expected to show up updated. Good to see it's back.
Man, was I excited when I saw that this story had updated.
Yay, it updated.
Holy buck do I owe you an apology. I put this story on my read later list, and I sorely regret doing so. I should have read this from the start. It's EPIC!
I can't wait for more.
Chapter 5, complete. While I'm glad I was able to get this one (relatively) out sooner, I'm not entirely pleased with it. Spitfire was kinda hard to do, and hopefully she doesn't come off as too mean spirited, because that wasn't my intention. Additionally the ending felt rushed, but I felt the chapter had more or less served its purpose, and I didn't want to drag out a huge chapter that you guys wouldn't see for another two months. Hope you all enjoyed it all the same.
Ooh
Great new chapter. Like how the plot is developing organically and with a good pace, and you're not just rushing us into the action.
Wow...Why haven't I been told about this story. This just goes to show that here are plenty of quality fics that no one reads, and it's a down right injustice to quality authors who put so much effort into good material.
Beside that, I'm liking this story. Have a stash.
Well I certainly still enjoyed it, glad they finally met (in the plot anyway).
Spitfire...took that better than I expected. She must really be concerned for him...I wonder what Scootaloo is going to say to her.
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Soarin_dayum.png : D-Did I do that?
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_rape.png : Yes...yes you did.
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Rainbow_dealwithit.png : Nice.
Thanks for all the comments everyone! Its good to know that people are enjoying my writing, and at the very least I can put out a halfway decent story. As a side note, I'm thinking about starting a second story, this time focused on Soarin' and Spitfire, in a sort of adventure/romance story of how they ended up where they are. The funny thing is, I initially liked Soarin'/RD, but recent stories have also led me to an equal like of Soarin'/Spitfire. Both seem to pair up well with very different, but equally interesting chemistry. I'm still in the brain storming phase right now, but I believe it will work out. This doesn't mean I'll quit Legacy, or even put it on hiatus, rather I'll just be splitting my time. Plus I think it helps to keep the creative juices fresh, just in case I end up with writers block on one or the other. Thanks again for the comments, they really make my day!
1am and this updated...well good thing my exam is on Wednesday.
Loved Scootaloo's characterization in this, and she even taught me a thing about being on a team.
...Maaaaybe.
This can't be anything but good!
A bit a both, some parts I feel like someone's reading the story to me, other times I feel like I'm looking into the story. Either way I feel drawn into the story and I get a good sense of what's going on. The parts that do break 'show don't tell' still flow very well and get the picture across in my opinion. Normally when a story is heavily breaking 'show don't tell' it reads very choppy and stilted, something that this story does not do.
A couple things I noted while reading:
While she had learned fly quite some time (to)
Turing to the copper (Turning)
She winced again a that last thought. (at)
the mayor once again address Spitfire. (addressed)
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Ah that's good to know. And thanks for answering my question. After reading some more accomplished writers around here, I think I know what I need to improve on. Also thanks for pointing out those grammar mistakes. Just goes to show that proof reading once doesn't cut it!
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No problem, and yeah proof-reading only catches so much. I've proofread something 3 times over and still missed stuff.
Looking forward to the next chapter...I fear what's going to happen to Scootaloo, seeing how she doesn't share the backstory to have the special bond with Soarin and Dash...yet...
...
At least I don't think she does yet...
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Well it would be misleading of me if I didn't use that dark tag at some point...
You do realize Fleetfoot is a girl, right?
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Yep. But I made a conscious decision to make the character a male in this story. If anything, it was to balance the genders a bit, give a male character that Soarin' could interact with, and for lack of a better term, be the 'bro'. Plus I couldn't think of any named Wonderbolt that is supposed to be a male, at least from what I researched.
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Rapidfire, Silver Lining, Lightning Streak, Fire Streak, Wave Chill
Another excellent chapter. You've really got me hooked. Keep up the good work.
Dude why have I only just read these two chapters
This. was. EPIC
Ooooooh, the plot thickens. What a wonderful way to start the new year.
Attaboy Soarin.
...
Wait how did, the now male, Fleetfoot know Soarin was thinking about Dash?...Man word really travels fast if he even knew about that! I mean Spitfire just learned about it a few minutes prior to his arrival.
I'll laugh if the next chapter starts out with Rainbow Dash sneezing.
Can't wait to see what she ends up doing.
let out all the strange and unbelievable things that had preying on his mind
the Wonderbolt felt not threat as the invisible haze spilled out around him.
the Wonderbolts joining the their waiting Captain in the sky.
as well as of its many stories and legends that seemed to surround the wood. (I think that should be 'the' many stories, its doesn't really work with the added 'that seemed to surround the wood'.)
Awesome
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Ack! The typos strike again! And as far as Fleetfoot knowing about Soarin' and Dash, I guess I was kinda going for that Spitfire filled him in about it while Soarin' was off by the forest. Probably something Fleetfoot should have mentioned.
Intersting start, you make an enemy out of an unknown.... event or beast. Remind me of the beginning of the Latest Star Trek. It provided insight into Soarin of who he was and where this story will seem to go. All in all, a decent first chapter, with just enough to keep us interested. However, it does give us an image of "emo" trying to deal with past Soarin as opposed to the normal wonderbolt that you portray in the first few sentances. I prefer the first, but we'll see how this plays out.
As an introduction into the known cast, this was pretty good. Especially the first part with Twilight, I feel as if Rainbow could have been written better and you've given us a lot of atmospheric mystery, but spelled out what's gonna happen. Its an intersting move. Looking forward to the rest.
I loved your portrayal of Scootaloo, its fairly awesome.
This chapter was so well done. I'm actually surprised at how.... amazing you portrayed Soarin and his Combat against the mental assult. It was awesome. You've gained much respect from me.
Good Chapter, if more of the atmospheric stuff that you are so amazing at. Soarin feels like a pretty decent character and it's always good to see Surprise done well.
Perhaps the thing I have to commend you the most on is how you started the Soarin/Dash shipping. It feels very natural and real, and that is something that is worth it's weight in gold.
Looking forward to more. How could I not, you introduce so much mystery and so little answers it gets a little overboard.
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Thanks! I'm glad you've enjoyed the story so far. I'm especially glad the Soarin'/RD seems somewhat believable, I'm trying to avoid cliches when it comes to establishing a pair. Hopefully it won't be too long until the next update.
Very well done so far. I agree with Edragon; some breaking of show, don't tell but the flow is good and the dialog and world-building are awesome! Thanks for writing more pegasus history, MLP fandom needs it.
Just a quick question for everyone. Do you happen to know of any good artists that do commissions for stuff like FIMfiction? I've been looking around DA, and I've found a few artists, but largely I'm still shopping around. At any rate, I figured it was time to get a more accurate and detailed piece of artwork for my story. And just to let you know, chapter 8 is coming along well, and should hopefully be posted later tomorrow. Hopefully.
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Can't say I know any artists, sorry.
Though I am looking forward to chapter 8.
Also since it's been such a long time since last I visited this page. Hi.
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Believe me, it's been killing me how long it's been since an update. Chapter 8 should have been published last week. But military duties pretty much took up all my time last week. At any rate, chapter 8 is coming along, and I should hopefully have it posted some time this week. Hopefully.
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Work comes first, especially important work like military duties.
th04.deviantart.net/fs71/150/i/2011/245/7/f/rainbow_dash___saluting_by_lixr-d48ekba.png
Look froward to the chapter whenever it comes out. I'll probably re-read the whole story again soon anyway, my memory is such
...Oh no...they actually have good memories...crap...I'm out done by fish.
carpcrap...or maybe it is carp...fish are supposed to have crappy memory right?Hey everyone, just wanted to let you know why the next chapter hasn't been posted. Chapter 8 is 99% percent complete, excluding proof reading. However as I was finishing it I ran into additional military duties/training that was starting. Unfortunately this will last for about three weeks. So I sincerely apologize for the repeated delay. However know that I'm very excited about it and I think you guys will like it. Expect to see the chapter early April. Thanks for reading and sticking with me in this little story.
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Ah so that's where you went, very well I've waited this long I can wait a bit more...especially since it's now early April.
Hope the military didn't work you too hard.
Kinda reminds me of Skyrim in a sense, when you use the elder scroll to go back in time or something to witness the first three dragon-burns defeat Alduin with DragonRend.
How long would say I have to wait for the next chapter?
This story sounds very intriguing. You will definitely see me more in the comments. Keep up with the great writing on this!
Hey! Dash! It ain't gonnabwork without Da Scoot's awesome! We all hate that she's involved, but she's the key
wow. a lot for one chapter
Sweet Luna! Sixteen thousand words?! And so much awesomeness! Ok, yes, I forgive how long this took. I loved the way you had them bond, especially Soarin's antics during the challenge.
) Seems like what Commander Hurricane feared might be tied to such thoughts though.
This power is getting interesting. Some sort of pegasus magic it seems, can't wait to learn more about it. The lore you're building for this universe is seriously awesome.
The pegasuperiority is a bit concerning despite it's complete accuracy. (Pegasus pony is best pony
I'm predicting two things, one they need to find the third pony, and two they need Commander Hurricanes blade.
I can't wait to see the new lore and ideas you have, please don't make me wait as long for the next chapter, this universe you've made is to engaging.
Huh. I wonder why the Wonderbolts hate Celestia so much. I sense future plot threads.
Anyone who writes a quality chapter that's over 10K words long needs 30 more likes and 50 more faves for there story immediately. I'm not sure if I've said this before, but I'll say it again. It is a damn travesty that this ONLY has 24 likes. I've read HiE fics with 500+ likes that have no where near this level of characterization, plot, pacing, description, etc.
In short, they're terrible compared to this.
You sir, have won an Awesome Medal.
4.bp.blogspot.com/_Jwp07QElyvk/THvS6vFldfI/AAAAAAAAAOg/D8eY-sAUUpQ/s1600/2010.8.30+Medal.png
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Does it make me 20% cooler? Haha.
Seriously though I really do appreciate it. While it would be nice to receive a little more recognition I'm just happy that I can create an engaging and enjoyable story. Heck, half the time I get excited from my own ideas and how they will play out. I am glad to hear that the characterization is good, that's something that I try to be very careful about. Thanks for continuing to read.
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To be completely honest I try to work so that I can get a chapter a month (slow I know) at least that's been my track record roughly. However the nature of my job (military) dictates that I may be away from my computer for lengthy periods. Here's hoping something mid May.
Thanks for reading.
"I mean is that even possible?"
ALIENS.