After Rainbow Dash discovers a hidden "shrine" in Twilight Sparkle's Castle, the Princess of Friendship is forced to question her evidently unshakable attraction to human males.

Rainbow Dash find herself questioning... everything else.

(Thanks in small part.)

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 67 )

Oh man. Off to a wonderful start already!

"unshakable attraction" is putting it mildly...

I have no pithy comment to give for this story.

For a moment i thought this was about Bob Sapp.

I hoping Twilight takes Dash to the other world to get her to see what they're actually like. :)


Well, bite my naked monkey ass, Dashie.

Oh, this is like when you forget to erase your browser history.

"Fudge me to the Chocolate Kingdom of Chunky Monkey!"



Important rule for being a decent person on the Internet: Never judge someone else's fetish.

Dash, what have you learned on Tumblr about kinkshaming?


I think the story is a parody/deconstruction of Xenophilia, seeing from the other side.

Oh, will Rainbow Dash start feeling bad because of her lack of... something? Did Twilight poison the cheese to keep her secret safe and that's why she didn't eat it?


Needs more guttersluts.

6447308 I'm all for Ace Rainbow! I'm even more for sad Ace Dash!
Just, just give me the angsty ace, SS&E!

This is the weirdest SSE fic ever

I love how you write Dash.

Weird, but not a bad story.

Okay, normally I'm one of those guys that reads one of your works and ends up either hating it or loving it with no middle ground. The detail is always superb but sometimes they read a bit too ... well, anyway. I either hate them or love them. Then I read this.

I don't know what the fuck to feel about this one. I think this is the only fic of yours I've read that honestly leaves me more conflicted than amused (or annoyed). I think it's because I'm not entirely sure where you're going with it. And because of the love/hate thing I've come to expect (a failing on my part but that's me) because I neither love nor hate it, I'm left a bit uninvested. Sure, I'm curious as to where it goes but [BULLSHIT NO ONE CARES ABOUT THAT'S ALL ME ME ME].

Anyway, I'm really curious as to where the hell you're going with this. Honestly and deeply curious because this doesn't read at all like any of your other stories I've read. Not that I've read them all or anything but from what I remember, this is different. So yeah. I'm curious where you're going. Yeah.


well, A very interesting moral story here in a way Skirts. The whole 'don't judge other peoples likes and preferences' or similar.

6446869 Not even a grueling exercise or fifty?

Well, the road to Crackfic Springs seems pretty scenic so far.

I'm with Minalkra on this one. Well, I don't dislike it. It reads weird, sure (don't ask me how, it's a feeling though) but the potential of being a good story is there. Maybe great.

Funny thing is, it might have started as a parody or such, but right now this looks more and more like a loss of innocence/growing into adulthood story for and already "adult" mare. Rainbow might be over 18, know about sex and even have some solo fun, but the way she talks - and R&F talk to her at the beginning - shows that that's all mostly physical. She does it because it feels good, and even if she knows what it is, it's like she haven't found her sexuality yet. That chapter ending reinforces that. She' still pretty much a child in that department.
Not ignorant, just... Not matured in that yet. And more, she'd never had reason to look into it before. So a"child" she stayed.

But Twilight changed everything. When RD entered the sex dungeon, she was forced to confront the reality of sexuality - it exists. She might have had contact with such things before - she does know Naughty Griffon - but she'd never had to actually confront that before, think about it like something people do instead of some mental disease. Something a FRIEND does, and that this something might be actually common (kinks, not Twily's homophilia). By spending hours hearing about it, details and fantasies, as something to help a friend, to actually comprehend... Now it becomes something she never though about. Something ponies have, adult ponies... And she don'doesn't.

Now she hangs to the comfort of her room, beneath the covers and hugging her plushie... For deep inside, something stirs. Something new, exciting, terrifying. Change comes...

How will she face it?

I hope you ask that question, SS&E. Because damn, this one is intriguing.

Comment posted by viofriedsevey deleted Sep 22nd, 2015

Off to a good start. I swear, I enjoy reading your pastel colored equines just talk way to much.

How's the weather along with Rainbow's sub-sequential reaction. Ha!

It got hard to read from there on, mostly because I was cringing from the guilt trip Twilight must be feeling. Rainbow was really laying on thick there. All those turn of phrases though!

Aww. :twilightsmile:

Dodged a bullet and a potentially angsty princess by staying Rainbow.

The room being brighter-than-bright. Dang.

I do find it interesting that Dash is portrayed almost the same in just about every fic I've read about her attitude towards, well, sexual things. Seems nearly always she doesn't care much about it and it's always one of her least confident talking points.

Hahahahaha literally what the fuck, this has to be one of your weirdest fics. It's funny though , even while reading a fic as out there as this one, I can't help but notice your voices for the mane 6 are phenomenaly accurate. They never feel ooc.

Probably a pretty accurate description of how any sane pony would react.

Comment posted by viofriedsevey deleted Sep 23rd, 2015

Whats kinda funny is Twilight honestly has a very good excuse, she was a human at one point surrounded by humans. It's a little ironic to think that her excuse is far better than ours.

Huh. Okay. I went into this expecting a crackfic, but... it isn't. At least, not yet (it's still unfinished, after all). So far this story is... well, it's kinda odd. Not bad, just... unusual. I'm having trouble pinning down its structure, as well as where it's going and what it's trying to say.

I'm glad that Rainbow lightened up a bit and was supportive of Twilight, rather than guilt her or make her feel like a freak. We're all entitled to our kinks, y'know? And then there's the thing with Rainbow herself. I'm guessing she's asexual, which is an intriguing angle to take. If so, I wonder how it's going to tie into the rest of the story... which brings me back to my first point:

Where the hell is this story going?

Your writing is always wonderful to read and since this is new, I noticed a couple things. Forgive me if I'm wrong but...

Yeah. That." The stallion turned and pointed at a large rectangular packaged wrapped in brown cardboard. "Somepony's paid super handsomely to have that delivered to the Castle."

"Yes..." The stallion bit the edge of his fetlock. "And if I don't get it to Her Royal Highness in the next two hours, my supervisor's gonna kill me!" He gulped. "But... if I don't get this wagon fixed, he's gonna kill me all the same! Ohhhhhh... why didn't I follow Mom's device and take up drywalling?!"

Rainbow finished, belched, then slammed the can against her furrowed brow. [...] She flung the bottle over Twilight's flinching head [...]

Guess you really would be surprised at what a little bit of magic can do. :ajsmug:

That last chapter is such a "WHY DOES IT END HERE?" moment. I want to know what Rainbow gets up to. D:

But yeah, loved the whole way Twilight described her love of that stuff. A nice reverse play of human on pony loving that actually does it through the pony's POV. She was so adorable describing her love of the tall creatures. Those HUMANS. Especially the whole "you'd be surprised what a little magic can do" and the shower fantasy. hehe

Fun story.

6452141 I've heard, well read, plenty. What you think of them however, is your opinion.

Interesting and funny. Not a bad reversal of the whole xenophile 'thing' in Twilight, but also a new characterization for Dash (at least by my experience) .


Naughty Griffon, hehehe...

I'm going to venture out on a limb, and say that Dashy is not the only pony that knows of Twilight's little Secret. I can imagine that a certain princess of the Night is well aware of it cause of lucid dreams that Twilight may have.


Maybe this is where Twi puts all her old bookcases..." She tripped over something that rattled. "...and... hoofcuffs?"

And that's when I knew exactly where this was headed.:rainbowlaugh:

Rainbow Dash was staring at a ponyquin... only there was something terribly strange about it. For one thing, the ponyquin had five legs instead of four. For another, it was standing straight up on two of its legs. And, lastly, one of its legs was pointed straight towards her at a forty-five degree angle... and at muzzle level.

...Well, maybe not "exactly"...

Neither mare noticed how close Spike had gotten to the doorway. "Hey..." His reptilian nostrils flared as he leaned forward to peer into the rosy room beyond. "...does anypony else smell raw fish?"

THE DELIVERY! HAH!:rainbowlaugh:

"Here, Spike! Go to town! Buy yourself... uhm... t-tater tots!"

"Tater tots?!?" Spike jumped up with a bright grin. "Woohoo!" He rushed over and gave Twilight a hug. "Oh, Twilight, you're the best!" He ran down the hallway, waving the bits around with a jubilant cheer. And then... he was gone.

This was the last thing I expected him to be excited about, but lol.

"Hey!" Twilight's eyes briefly flashed with righteous anger. "Don't be knocking on the good talented artists at Naughty Griffon! They make the best commissioned artwork that bits can buy—" Suddenly, the alicorn gasped and covered her muzzle.


"Ew! Ick! Twilight—jeez!" Rainbow shook all over, cringeing. "Don't you even—" She suddenly barked: "At least the only time my folks ever visited a swingset was when they were taking tiny filly Rainbow Dash out for a walk in the park! What's your excuse for having a Tartarusian Cirque du Cheval in your 'study room?!'"

This line is fantastic.

"Twilight, would... would it help you to have somepony to—y'know—share these sort of things with?"


"Do they eat the whole apple, including the core?"
"Erm... no..."

I know plenty of humans who do that.

"Flash Sentry,"

Sorry. Lost me there.

Yes, I'm a bastard.

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