Rainbow Dash sat in her chair, resting a squishy blue cheek against the cold edge of the round table in the palace's throne room. Her wide eyes stared blankly across the chamber. Meanwhile, her fuzzy ears twitched from the persistent echoes of hoofsteps, growing closer and closer from the immense vacuum of the tree palace's interior.
At last, over the course of a cold minute, Twilight shuffled down a tall flight of steps and approached the table. She levitated a cold six-pack of cider, placing it down on the table. Yanking one away from the others, she set it gently before Rainbow Dash. Then, shuffling forward, she had a seat... exhaling quietly.
Dead stillness.
Both ponies sat silently across from one another.
There was a brief groan of the massive crystalline structure settling all around them, then all was nothing but a breathless hush, occasionally broken by the subjective melody of titanus.
Thus, when Twilight gulped, it sounded like a tsunami washing up against the bastions of the palace. She fiddled with a lock of mane hair, one fuzzy ear twitching after the other. Then, with the grace of a blooming flower, she raised her blushing muzzle up... and smiled nervously across the round table.
Rainbow raised her round eyes like that of a dying puppy's.
Twilight exhaled, then waved a hoof. "...so... uhm... h-how's the weather, Rainbow D-D-Dash?"
THAP! Rainbow gripped her cider can. Snap! She opened it and flung the bottom of the container towards the ceiling. "GLUG-GLUG-GLUG-GLUG-GLUG-GLUG!" She poured all the contents down her guzzel in one massive swig.
Twilight watched and watched, her whole body coiling up tensely.
"GLUG-GLUG-GLUG-GLUGGGG...!" Rainbow finished, belched, then slammed the can against her furrowed brow. CRUNNNCH! "ARRRRRGH!" She flung the container over Twilight's flinching head, then leaned forward as hard as she could, hollering: "TWILIGHT WHAT IN BUCKIN' TARTARUS?!?"
"I-I know, Rainbow—"
"THEY'RE FRIGGIN' ANIMALS TWILIGHT!!!"
"I know, Rainbow." Twilight curled into a tighter ball, dwarfed by the immensity of her throne as she shrank from Rainbow's gaze. "I know."
"You know, huh?!?" Rainbow wheezed, shook, and summoned the breath to yell again: "You know that your friggin' 'special study room' is filled to the brim with dirty naked monkeys doing the nasty?!"
Twilight frowned for the first time since Rainbow arrived. "They're not monkeys, Twilight. They're called humans..."
"Do they stand on all fours?"
"Uhhh... no."
"Do they eat the whole apple, including the core?"
"Erm... no..."
"Are they fuzzy and cute and like having their ears scratched?"
"Well... not exactly—"
"Then they're not bucking ponies, now, are they?!" Rainbow shouted. "They're animals, Twilight! And you wanna... you wanna be done by... be d-done by..." Rainbow's blue muzzle had turned three times as blue by this point. With a heavy wheeze, she slumped down against the table, staring off into undefined space. "Phweeeee..."
Twilight bit her lip. Coiling her wings tightly to her side, she leaned forward, peering over the massive round table. "Did... did you get it all out of your system?"
"No." Rainbow Dash shuddered, gazing into oblivion. "I hurt in all my fuzzy places."
"I see." Twilight gulped. She squinted out one eye. "And... and your head?"
"Mmmm... that's the fuzziest of them all."
"Rainbow Dash... uhm..." Twilight struggled to straighten her bangs. She was only moderately successful. "Please... understand... I... uhhh..." She tapped her head several times, gritting her teeth. "Celestia help me, how do I put this into words...?"
"How about 'Why, yes, Doc! I agree! I do need to be put into a home!'"
"Now just hold on a second..." Twilight waved a hoof, glaring. "You know me, Rainbow."
"Do I? Do I really, Twi?!"
"Lemme speak!" Twilight's voice cracked. "Have you ever known me to ignore my friends? Or abandon my studies? Or shirk any of my royal duties?!"
"What are you even trying to say...?!"
"I... I-I consider myself..." Despite her red, puffy cheeks, Twilight sat up straight with a modicum of pride. "I-I am, in fact, a very healthy pony! And... a-and I'll have you know that everything you saw in there has... h-has been for my eyes only! I've never gotten another soul involved! It has always just been me and me alone!"
"Yeah...!" Rainbow nodded, eyes bulging. "You and a whole friggin' zoo made out silicon!"
"Rainbow, can't you at least... nnngh..." Twilight face-hoofed, then stammered. "You have your own hobbies, don't you?!"
"Sure thing, Twilight, but it doesn't involve me being impaled by... by..." Rainbow fought the color green washing over her features. "Th-th-those things are like five times your size, girl!" she exclaimed, waving up at the ceiling. "How... h-how could you even manage getting... I mean being..." She grimaced, trying to imitate a power-drill going into a kumquat with her hooves. "Y'know... how?!" She frowned, snapping: "How even, Twi?!?"
"Uhhhm..." Twilight hugged herself, looking over her squirming shoulders. "You'll be surprised what..." Her dimples curved with the tiniest of dumb smiles. "...wh-what a little bit of magic can do..."
"Gckkkk!" Rainbow shoved a hoof into her own mouth to dam the floodwaters of bile in. She rocked in her seat, then ultimately chose to pop another can of cider open, washing the surmounting effluvia heavily down her esophagus.
Twilight shuddered. She brushed her bangs again and leaned forward. "Rainbow, I... I just have to know. Why...? I mean, how did you even—?"
"BURRRRRP!" Rainbow slumped against the table, eyes burning holes through the polished surface. "Mmmmff... I-I was trying to do a delivery pony a favor. His wagon had—like—imploded or somethin', and he needed to bring a package to your Palace. So, I told him I'd make the delivery myself. I knocked and knocked on the front door, but nopony answered. But you had said I was always welcome, so I looked for another place to drop the package inside and safe from today's rain."
"Well..." Twilight exhaled, managing a slight grin. "That was awfully nice and loyal of you, Rainb—"
"But little did I know that inside it I'd find some... friggin' portrait out of Bacchanalia Monthly!"
"Hey!" Twilight's eyes briefly flashed with righteous anger. "Don't be knocking on the good talented artists at Naughty Griffon! They make the best commissioned artwork that bits can buy—" Suddenly, the alicorn gasped and covered her muzzle.
Rainbow stared with gaping muzzle.
"N-n-now Rainbow..." Twilight gulped, waving a hoof. "Before you go off on—"
"Seriously, Twilight?!" Rainbow wretched. "Seriously?! You order crud from Naughty Griffon?!"
Twilight curled up in her throne yet again. "...maybe?" she squeaked.
"Twilight! For Pete's sake! Those guys are total sickos!" Rainbow gestured wildly. "Not a single one of them does a decent thing for a living! All they do is make bits sculpting horribad stuff like giant dragon p—..." Her pupils shrank, and she gawked in Twilight's direction.
"No." Twilight pointed. "Not even in the least."
"Does it matter?!" Rainbow exclaimed. "Twilight, you share the same household with a little kid!"
"Yes, and?!" Twilight sat up, frowning. "Your parents lived in the same house as you! I'm sure we both know that didn't stop Mommy and Daddy from—"
"Ew! Ick! Twilight—jeez!" Rainbow shook all over, cringeing. "Don't you even—" She suddenly barked: "At least the only time my folks ever visited a swingset was when they were taking tiny filly Rainbow Dash out for a walk in the park! What's your excuse for having a Tartarusian Cirque du Cheval in your 'study room?!'"
"Oh my gosh..." Twilight covered her eyes, murmuring. "Oh my gosh oh my gosh... this can't be happening..."
"Twilight... look, I... mmmfff..." Rainbow slumped back in her seat. She took several deep breaths, calmed herself slightly, then leaned forward with a gentle expression. "Let's start over on a new hoof. Just... just level with me." She gulped, holding a hoof up. "How... did this all start, exactly?"
Twilight looked at her, lips trembling... eyes glistening. "Do... do you really wanna know?"
Rainbow immediately winced, but struggled to usher the grimace away. "Ahem... as your friend... as your awesome... loyal friend... yes, Twilight, I really wanna know."
"Will... will you promise not to tell anypony...?" Twilight sniffled, ears folded back.
Rainbow looked at it, at her eyes, at how tiny she looked inside her throne—recoiling from her. After such long contemplation, she realized she was hesitating. So, after a strong breath, she crossed her heart, flapped her wings, then pressed a hoof to her eye. She followed all of this with the tiniest of smiles.
Twilight saw it, and she inhaled meekly. The alicorn popped two cans open at once, poured them both down her royal gullet, then wiped her muzzle clean. Sliding her throne back with a scraping sound, she hopped down to the floor.
"Follow me," she said.
"Uhhhhhhhhhhhh..." Rainbow started trembling again. She looked nervously up...
"Downstairs..." Twilight offered a gentle smile. "I promise... you'll only get an earful. Not an eyeful." She turned to move, fidgeted, then floated the last two cans after her, popping one open as she limped her way down the basement stairwell with a nervous pegasus following.