• Published 21st Sep 2015
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Bestial - shortskirtsandexplosions



Rainbow Dash discovers that Twilight Sparkle is physically attracted to human males, but just who is this revelation more earth-shattering for?

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II. Revelation ( // )

"Okay, I'll admit one thing," Rainbow Dash muttered as she paced around the dimly-lit basement. "I shoulda seen this coming."

Twilight had plopped herself down in the middle of the floor, facing the elaborate horseshoe-shaped magic mirror in her possession. An complex array of manatech devices were affixed to the gateway, but they currently lay dormant. At the very top of the portal's frame, an empty slot resided—perfectly-sized to receive an enchanted book.

"If you're wondering, I have Sunset Shimmer's journal safely hidden away in my bedroom," Twilight Sparkle said. "I figure that... that the portal should only be open when the moon naturally allows it to happen from their side... or if my friends from Canterlot High need me for another crisis of sorts."

"Yes," Rainbow droned, still pacing. "Because Celestia forbid that a group of transmogrified hydra cheerleaders from ancient times should attempt taking over the world from the girl's lockerroom in the near future."

Twilight groaned. "Rainbow..."

"Right. Right. I know." Rainbow plopped herself down besides Twilight. After a dull sigh, she put on her best smile. "Go on, egghead. Tell me all about highschooltopia."

Twilight took a deep breath, took an even deeper sip from her cider can, then looked at the gateway. "When I first—HIC!—excuse me. Ahem. When I first entered that world, I was—like you—totally freaked out. I mean... you could ask Spike. I was screaming and stumbling all over the place. You would be shrieking your head off too if you had lost your wings, hooves and muzzle and instead had them replaced with thin limbs with tiny digits sticking out of the ends."

"And were you surrounded by naked monkey dudes wearing leather masks at the time?"

"Rainbow...!"

"Right. Sorry. Sorry." Rainbow said, nevertheless cringeing. "Ahem... don't let me stop you, Twi."

Twilight looked at the gateway again. "I... I-I was charged with the task of finding my crown so I could protect both that world and Equestria. But I-I couldn't even walk right! Everything was just so... strange and frightening." She gulped. "I had become a powerful alicorn in our world, and yet—all of the sudden—I was stripped of all my magic and strengths. I just... f-felt so weak and helpless."

"Yeah, but you totally kicked Sunset Shimmer's flank in the end!" Rainbow Dash blinked, then smiled nervously at nopony in particular. "No offense."

"But I hardly even got that far, Rainbow!" Twilight's voice cracked. "Even with Spike's help, I was a bumbling, clumsy stranger! I had fallen flat on my muzz—er... face more times than I could count! And... no one did anything to help me until... until..." Just then, her eyes began sparkling.

Rainbow stared at her from an angle, her eyebrow slowly rising. "Until...?"

"Hmmmm..." Twilight Sparkle leaned forward, nuzzling her fuzzy warm cheek against a pair of crossed forelimbs as she gazed lovingly at the mirror. "...until him."

"Uhhh... gotta be more specific than that, girl."

"Flash Sentry," Twilight cooed. "He saw me collapsed in the middle of the school hallway like a deflated flower. His fingers curled around mine and he helped me up to my feet. Such curious things, hands. So delicate, and yet articulate and strong... and his were both. And when his fingers enclosed with mine, it was... it was as if he could lift the whole world up. Instead he chose to help me and only me. And his voice was so soft and gentle... his eyes shining and radiant..."

"So... you got a whacky fetish all because a single dude in the primate world helped you up that one time?"

"Rainbow!" Twilight grumbled. "It's..." She brushed her bangs aside, her cheeks flushed. "It's n-not that simple..."

"Wait..." Rainbow squinted, staring off towards the mirror. "'Flash Sentry'... I know that name."

Twilight gulped. "You... pr-probably should..."

"Oh yeah!" Rainbow brightened. "That's the name of the pegasus guard who serves under your brother and sister-in-law! Y'know, the clumsy dude that kept bumping into you while you were in the Crystal Empire?" She smirked. "For weeks Rarity would just not let up about you having a crush on him! Wowers, that mare is a hopeless romantic at times. Heheheh—" Just then, Rainbow's pupils shrank. "Hold up.." She gave Twilight a crooked glance. "There's a... version of him on the other side?"

Twilight nodded. "Uh huh."

"And... you bumped into him too?"

Twilight blushed. "Uh huh."

"And... like... you got the hots for him over there?"

Twilight smiled dumbly, partially hiding her flushed cheeks behind her forelimbs. "Uh huh..."

Rainbow scratched her head, glanced at the mirror, then glanced back at Twilight. "So... did you lift your tail up for him or what?"

"N-no!" Twilight lifted her muzzle. This time her cheeks burned with anger. "For the love of Celestia, Rainbow, I'm not some hussy!"

"Er... of course not, Twi. It was just a question."

"Besides..." Twilight giggled airily. "Humans don't have tails."

Rainbow face-hoofed.

"Although..." The alicorn tongued the inside of her mouth, searching the ceiling with thoughtful eyes. "According to the many biology textbooks I've hauled over from Canterlot High, the human fetus briefly possesses a tail during some of the middle stages in utero..."

"Twilight..."

"And if you carefully examine the spinal structure of the tailbone set within the interior of the sapien buttocks—"

"Twilight, please tell me that you didn't crush on a freaky alien guy that you met only once."

"Well... no. It's not so much that I crushed on him..."

"Cuz, y'know, what's stopping you from meeting up with the guard who's stationed with your brother?" Rainbow bore a plastic smile. "Celestia knows that Rarity's been chomping at the bit to get the two of you together!"

"Mmmm... that's just the thing..." Twilight pawed the floor with alternating hooves. "I-I'm not interested in that Flash Sentry. Not really..."

"Why?" Rainbow squinted. "Because he's not a tall mutant monkey without fur?!"

"No!" Twilight frowned, but then her ears folded. "And yet... yes."

Rainbow sighed.

"Don't give me that look."

"Twilight, you're my best friend. Perhaps the best of the best. But... just... h-have you ever thought about this?"

"Mmmmmmmmyesssss..."

"I mean rationally!" Rainbow frowned. "Pretend—say—Fluttershy decided to get really really friendly with one of the chimpanzees that they have holed up inside the Canterlot gardens. Or... or if Applejack's brother, Big Mac, was found doing the nasty in the farm's pig pen with—"

"Rainbow, we're not talking about unlawful and non-consensual acts with lesser-intelligent animals!" Twilight exclaimed. "So don't even pretend!"

"Is it really all that different? Really?" Twilight cocked her head to the side. "You don't see those... those things strolling around Equestria on their goofy legs... wearing their goofy clothes!"

"It could happen," Twilight said. She pointed up at the dormant gateway. "All it would take is the right kind of spell to affect the mirror—"

"That's not the point!" Rainbow's brow furrowed. "It's not natural, Twi! I'm no biologist, but even I could tell you that!"

"Who are we to say what is or what isn't natural?"

"Hellllllloooo?" Rainbow leaned in, waving a hoof between her and Twilight's muzzles. "Twilight Sparkle? Scientist egghead extraordinaire?! You've studied nature since you were a friggin' infant! Surely you can say that a pony and... and... like... a minotaur are never ever designed to go for a tumble in the hammock!"

"Yes, but since I began my studies, our knowledge of the world has expanded." Twilight sighed dreamily, pointing at the mirror. "Even beyond other worlds."

"Yeah... and if—like—we found a mirror that took us to a world populated by sentient dolphins, does that mean it's a-okay for me to dive into the nearest fish tank and spread my legs?!"

"Rainbow..." Twilight sighed into her hoof, shaking her head. "I... I-I can't make you understand." She looked up, eyes thin. "If only you've been in my shoes... my human shoes on the other side."

"Girl, I've been a breezy once, thanks to you!" Rainbow's voice cracked. "But you don't see me secretly hoarding dirty magazines full of dragonfly wings, now do you?!"

"Erm..."

"And the fact is, when you came back, you became a pony again!" Rainbow blinked, then gave Twilight a look-over. "I mean... r-right?"

"I assure you, Rainbow, I am full pony."

Rainbow pointed at her skull. "Then how come your skull's full monkey?!"

"Because...!" Twilight bit her lip, fidgeting. "Because..."

Rainbow gazed at her, waiting.

"B-because... I-I came back from the first visit... and I-I couldn't get Flash and his... warm, warm limbs out of my mind. And... I-I did some studying, and I determined that the monke—... that the humans over there are about eight times the size of us, which means they could easily pick up and... mmm... c-cuddle a fully grown equine from this world. And so I started imagining just how nice it would be if... if say my warm, fluffy bed covers were really just the loving arms of a human, holding me, engulfing me... protecting me. And then that secure feeling helped me open up... in more ways than one... or two. And I imagined those gentle fingers of theirs caressing my mane and my ears and... and my... my..." Twilight had a big dumb grin at this point, and she was fanning herself with her tail. At last—trembling—she popped open the final can of cider and chugged it down, sweating bullets.

Rainbow watched, her muzzle frozen into a confused grimace.

At last, Twilight finished the liberal swig, then held the cold empty can to her forehead, slowly crumpling it as she panted, shuddered, panted and shuddered. At last, her glazed eyes opened, and she looked over at Rainbow.

Rainbow looked back.

Twilight gulped and said: "I... I-I have a problem, Rainbow. But... but for the first time in my adult life..." She smiled exhaustedly. "...it's the one problem that I don't want fixed." The alicorn trembled somewhat. "Haven't... haven't you ever had that before?"

Rainbow glanced at the floor. "Well... uh..." She ran a hoof through her mane and shrugged. "I... I-I guess that one time that I discovered how much I loved reading, it sorta... dawned on me that I could never be the same again. And when I thought about ditching it—my sudden insane love of books—I... I just couldn't, y'know?" She winced slightly. "I staged a heist at a hospital so I could finish a Daring Do novel. A friggin' hospital."

Twilight giggled. "It's funny what lengths we'll go to secure something that's so special to us."

"But... but is it really the same, Twilight?" Rainbow looked up, muzzle agape. "I like putting Daring Do stories into my heads. But... you like putting these human things into... into your..."

"I promise you." Twilight gulped. "I'm... uh... quite hygenic."

"Sure. I'll buy that. But... but doesn't it ever affect you in weird ways, y'know?"

Twilight stared at Rainbow with dull eyes. "You've seen me these past few months. Do I seem 'affected', Rainbow?"

"Well, no. Actually you seem..." Rainbow winced slightly. She leaned back, kneading the cold floor with her hooves as she avoided the alicorn's gaze. "You've been on top of the frickin' world."

Twilight smiled at her, but that grin slowly faded. She hung her head with a dull sigh, fidgeting.

Rainbow looked at her friend sideways. "This... this must be a super tough thing to get off your chest, Twilight." She bit her lip. "And here I show up... stumbling straight into your... your..."

"My homo sapien shrine," Twilight muttered.

"Snkkkt—ha ha ha ha ha!" Rainbow slapped her knee. "You call that rose-colored working mare's room a 'shrine?!'"

Twilight only winced.

Rainbow blinked, her features slowly sagging. "I... I-I'm sorry, Twi. I mean... I know it all looks super weird... and, y'know, it is all super weird... k-kinda..."

"You must think I'm such a freak..." Twilight sniffled. "I... I-I'm sorry, Rainbow..." Tears welled up in her eyes, and her trembling hooves dropped the empty can in her grasp. "I... I know I must have permanently hurt our friendship."

Rainbow did a double-take. "Hurt... our friendship?"

"H-how could you ever think of me the same way ever again?" Twilight sniffled once more, hiding her muzzle in her hooves. "Mmmmmf... Celestia... night after night I've tossed and turned, dreading the day that this would happen. That my second life would be discovered! It's... it's all over! My studies... my princesshood! Because I completely and utterly trashed my friendship..."

"Ah jeez, Twilight..."

"And all f-for what?!" The princess began sobbing, her tail curling up as she collapsed into a trembling mess in the center of the basement floor. "...just so I could get my jollies from a bunch of perverted fantasies? I've... I've failed... I've failed at everything."

"Twilight, don't you... don't you friggin'..." Rainbow winced from the incoming wails of sobs echoing from where the alicorn sat, deflated. "Ahhhhhh buck me to the moon," she rolled her eyes, then slid in, wrapping her hooves around the mare. "C'mere, girl..."

"I'm s-so sorry, Rainbow," Twilight whimpered, burying her muzzle in Rainbow's chest. "You d-didn't ask for this! You were such a good friend, but n-now you know what a horrible pervert I am! I don't bl-blame you for hating me..."

"What do you mean I was a good friend?" Rainbow tilted the mare's chin up, smiling. "So you've got some crazy nasty psychotic fantasies. So what? That doesn't change anything!"

"But... b-but..." Twilight shuddered, puffy-eyed and tear-stained. "Earlier, you were practically screaming in horror!"

Rainbow winced. "Yeah... okay... so I was pretty freaked out. But I was reacting to... to the stuff! Not to you! I mean... you were right, Twilight. I know you!" She brushed the mare's cheek dry. "And I know that you're as smart and clever and as sympathetic as ponies get! That hasn't changed in your character one bit! I mean... just how long have you been building up this silly 'shrine' of yours, anyways? A week? Three weeks?"

"Mmmm... seven months."

Rainbow's eyes bulged. "Seven months?!?"

Twilight grimaced hard.

Rainbow gulped. "Er... I mean... Wow! Seven months! Just... uh... goes to show!" She smiled nervously. "When you put your mind to it, you can get anything done! Whether it's inventing a new friendship spell, or... uhhh... making a secret sex museum to naked, dinosaurically-endowed monkeys!"

Twilight hung her head, shuddering. "Goddess help me. I'm so pathetic."

"Hey... hey!" Rainbow forced the mare to look at her again. "None of that, okay? None of this 'I'm pathetic' crap. A pathetic pony wouldn't have saved Equestria a gazillion times over and made my life all that more awesome."

"Really?" Twilight wiped her muzzle dry while peering at her. "I've... m-made your life awesome?"

"Totally, girl!" Rainbow smiled proudly. "What other friend has given me a chance to kick dragons in the face, or fight changelings, or nearly go to war with yaks!"

"Eheheh..." Twilight bit her lip, wings fluttering slightly. "I try my best, I suppose..."

"You're the smartest and brightest pony there is, Twilight," Rainbow said. "All of that genius deserves a bit of eccentricity, don't you think?"

"Mmmm... yeah..." Twilight brightened slightly. "Yeah, sure..."

"And... y'know... we all deserve our 'me time,' but when you keep it all bottled up?" Rainbow shrugged. "It's gotta be torture when you've got nopony to share it all with." Rainbow's expression turned blank as her ears twitched, registering what she had just said.

Twilight, too, was blinking hard. Her lips pursed. "I... I-I never thought of it that way."

"Huh... me neither." Rainbow scratched her muzzle. "Not until I said it." She looked gently at Twilight, then loosened their hug slightly. "Twilight, would... would it help you to have somepony to—y'know—share these sort of things with?"

"To..." Twilight rubbed her tear-stained cheaks. "...share?"

"By word of muzzle, I mean. Talkinga bout 'em," Rainbow said. "It's totally not my bag, of course. But... but maybe it would be a good thing for you to get this stuff off your chest... verbally... instead of keeping it all secret and treating yourself like some dirty pervert until you toss and turn over it every night." She gulped. "Don'tcha think?"

"Oh, Rainbow, that's so sweet... but..." Twilight sighed. "I couldn't. I mean... we both know how much it grosses you out—"

"So?" Rainbow smiled smugly. "I'd rather throw up than see you become a total basket-case."

"But it's so selfish of me and... and inappropriate."

"What could be more appropriate than making sure my friend felt comfortable being... herself?" Rainbow Dash smiled with glinting teeth. "And I promise not to judge you from here on out. I'll be your... your absorbant sounding board, y'feel me?"

Twilight Sparkle took a shuddering breath. At last, the tears had stopped, giving way to a toasty warm smile. "You... you would really be willing to do that for me?"

"Pffft! You haven't banished me to the moon yet for stumbling upon your 'shrine,' have you?"

"Uhm... I-I haven't mastered that kind of alicorn magic, Rainbow," Twilight said. "At l-least not yet."

"Good! So this is the next best thing!" Rainbow winked. "So, how about it?"

"Well..." Twilight gulped, glancing across the basement. "I... I think that would be wonderful. Uhm... wh-when would you want to... h-have such a discussion?"

"Well..." Rainbow shrugged. "My afternoon's free today. How about yours?"