Bestial

by shortskirtsandexplosions

I. Discovery ( // )

"Aaaaaaaaand—Haaah!" Rainbow Dash flew into the umpteenth cloud of the day, slamming it with her strong back hooves. The wispy vapor instantly grew dense, turning the cloud a dark gray while miniature salvos of thunder broiled from within. "That oughta do it. Ponyville should get plenty wet tonight."

She brushed her hooves off, wiped the sweat from her brow... then hovered in place. She blinked, her eyesight absorbed by the gently levitating cloud bed directly in front of her.

"You know... if we're all made of stardust anyways... am I not just kicking past and future incarnations of myself whenever I slap my hooves against water molecules?"

Dead silence.

Rainbow belched. "Eh, whatever. I need a nap." FWOOOSH! She soared down towards the verdant countryside. Along the eastern edges of Ponyville, a train had rolled up to the depot, unloading several crates of shipment from its supply cars.

"Hey!" Rainbow waved, flying low so that the ponies below could hear her. "I just finished some cloud kicking! Expect heavy rain and a bit of lightning in about... ohhhh... two and a half hours!"

"Alright, Rainbow Dash!" replied an elderly conductor, waving a pale hoof. He adjusted his hat and smiled up at the speedster. "Right on time as always."

"Wish you could say the same about your locomotives, eh?" Rainbow winked devilishly.

"Heheh... what a kidder!"

"Just spread the word, okay? It's gonna be a stormy night!" She looked towards the other end of the depot, and did a double-take. "Whoah! What's going on here?" Swissssh! Turning hard right, she zipped over towards where a wagon had collapsed on two broken wheels. The cart was overturned and three stallions were struggling to mend the dilapidated thing back together. "Hey... uh... everything okay? Is anypony hurt?"

"No. No, Miss Dash, we're all okay. Thanks." A stallion in a brown khaki uniform and matching cap nevertheless grumbled, "Wish I could say the same about my deliveries, though."

"Deliveries?" Rainbow squinted at the sign plastered to the side of the pony's lopsided wagon. "Ah. 'Equestrian Parcel Service.' Yeesh. Total bummer, dude."

"Well, for the most part, it's not so bad," the delivery pony said with a prolonged sigh. "Most everything here is standard shipping and isn't due to arrive until the day after tomorrow. All except one item, that is."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. That." The stallion turned and pointed at a large rectangular package wrapped in brown cardboard. "Somepony's paid super handsomely to have that delivered to the Castle."

"No kidding?" Rainbow flew closer. She squinted in mid-hover, then grinned. "Say! This is to Princess Twilight!"

"Yes..." The stallion bit the edge of his fetlock. "And if I don't get it to Her Royal Highness in the next two hours, my supervisor's gonna kill me!" He gulped. "But... if I don't get this wagon fixed, he's gonna kill me all the same! Ohhhhhh... why didn't I follow Mom's advice and take up drywalling?!"

"Hey! No sweat, buddy!" Rainbow Dash stood beside the wagon, wrapping a hoof over the top of the leaning package. "Twilight Sparkle's my very best friend! How 'bout I make the last leg of the delivery for you?"

"Careful!" The stallion cringed, gesturing wildly at the box. "The package is super... super fragile!" He gulped. "And... uhhh... th-that would be super nice of you to offer, Miss Dash, but I couldn't!"

"Pffft! Why not?"

"Because you're not an employee of the Equestrian Parcel Service and it just wouldn't be prop—"

"You said yourself that you risk getting the royal burn from your boss, right?" Rainbow remarked.

"Erm... yes... w-well..."

"Just chillax, buddy!" Rainbow smiled. "What he doesn't know can't hurt him! Lemme do you a favor!"

"Oh Miss Dash..." The stallion bowed low, exhaling in relief. "You're too... too kind, really. I... I-I could share part of my latest paycheck with you!"

"Ew. Naw, dude... I don't do this sort of crud for bits." Rainbow Dash fidgeted in place. "...though, it would be nice if I could get the next order of Daring Do books delivered to my doorstop extra early..."

"Heh..." He winked. "I'll see what I can do."

"Cool beans!" With a voice-cracking grunt, Rainbow heaved the package over her shoulder. It was considerably lighter than she expected, though the great width and noticeable thinness of the parcel made it somewhat unwieldy. "Whew... you said this stuff's 'fragile,' huh?"

"Erm. At least that's how it's marked."

"Well, shouldn't be a problem. Just work on your wagon and go about the rest of your deliveries!"

"Uhm... what about the signature, though?"

"What, you mean from the Princess?"

"Yeah."

"Pffft! As if Twilight Sparkle signs anything," Rainbow said, rolling her eyes. "It's all the little dragon's claw-work, believe me. Don't fret. I'll get Spike to provide you with a signature sooner than later."

"Oh... uh... alright..."

"Zoop!" And Rainbow Dash was gone, effortlessly carrying the package as she soared westward across the skies of Ponyville. The athletic mare casually dodged the tight little thunderclouds that she had conjured over the past hour of weather flying. In no time at all, she had arrived at the front entrance to Twilight Sparkle's crystalline castle.

The mare came to an agile stop, landing in the shadow of the palace's massive doors.

"Whew! And that is why only pegasi should be hired as delivery ponies." She smiled to herself. "No friggin' sweat." Trotting up to the door, she banged it several times with a blue hoof. "Hey! Hey, yo, Twilight! Special delivery!"

Silence.

Rainbow knocked again. "Hey! Egghead! Break open the shell, will ya? I've got something for ya here from E.P.S! Y'know... those poor guys who wear khakis in ninety-degree weather and drive poo-colored wagons?" More silence. "Where are ya, girl?!"

The castle stood dormant. A few ink-black crows lingered on the upper spires, cawed, and flittered away.

"Hmmmf... probably fallen asleep in her pancakes again..." Rainbow shifted her weight from one pair of hooves to the other. "...note to self: buy her a 'breakfast bed' for Hearth's Warming." Knocking the door again, she raised her voice: "Hey! Twilight! Wake up! You even home?! I come bearing gifts!"

The stillness in the air made Rainbow's blood boil. Bored, she set the package down against the outer structure and turned it about. Her eyes flew across the packing label, then squinted to read the return address of the sender.

"... ... ...who in the buck are 'Equestrian Specialty Commission Services?'"

The mare blinked... then shrugged. She looked back up at the tower with dull eyes.

"I could... just leave it here." She gulped. "But the clouds are gonna friggin' rain in two hours. Dang it. The one time you try to do something cool for a stranger..." She glanced up, up, up the treehouse castle. Eventually, her eyes locked on the balcony. "Hello hello..."

Grinning, the mare grabbed the package, flew up to the balcony, and tried the large glass doors. Even there, the entrance refused to budge.

"Dang it... this isn't Detrot, Princess. What gives?" She looked up and down. "Hmmmff... 'mi castle es su castle' my flashy blue flank..."

Grumbling to herself, she hovered again, slowly orbiting the circumference of the tall palace's central stalk. At last, she came upon a window wide enough to allow the package to fit through.

"Hmmm... that looks easy enough to open." She flew up to it, squinting into the darkness inside beyond the glass. "Say, exactly what's on this side of the Castle anyways? Not sure I've ever been inside this wing..."

The mare thought... contemplated... pondered... then ultimately shrugged.

"Grnnngh!" She pressed her lower hooves to the bottom of the windowpane and shoved, shoved, shoved. "One way... or another... y-you're getting your package, Twilight!"

Schwisssssh! At long last, the window flew open. Cold air wafted out, chilling Rainbow Dash.

"Whew! That wasn't so hard!" She repositioned the cardboard container so that it could fit through the window behind her. To do this, she had to fly into the room backwards, which made it all the more alarming when she felt cool, velvety fabric brushing up against her flank. "Brrrrrr... what's with the super-black curtains? Heh... getting a bit luxurious, eh, Twilight?"

She finally entered the room, and the thick curtains draped back into place. However, this accomplished little—except to drown Rainbow Dash in complete darkness. She blinked, her brow furrowed as she twirled around in a full circle. All was black, save for the tiny sliver of translucent light coming in from the opened window.

"Uhhh... yeesh... I thought this was Twilight's palace, not Luna's. What gives?" With a calm breath, she placed the package down and rested it up against something sturdy. Fumbling slightly, she shuffled across the room, stretching her wings out on either side of her. "Gotta be a lightswitch somewhere... ugh... awfully big for a supply closet. Maybe this is where Twi puts all her old bookcases..." She tripped over something that rattled. "...and... hoofcuffs?"

At last, Rainbow's front leg came into contact with a lightswitch, and she eagerly flipped it, flooding the room with a rosy red light.

"There we go!" She pivoted to her side, only to be staring into a structure with a porcelain smooth peach surface. Her eyes tilted up... and up and up. "Uhmmmm..."

Rainbow Dash was staring at a ponyquin... only there was something terribly strange about it. For one thing, the ponyquin had five legs instead of four. For another, it was standing straight up on two of its legs. And, lastly, one of its legs was pointed straight towards her at a forty-five degree angle... and at muzzle level.

"Gaaah!" Rainbow Dash back trotted, only to knock into something else. She spun around to see two more five-legged figurines rattling to a stop, clad in a black jacket, torn jeans, and a blue wig. "Fudge!"

She looked to her side, panting. She saw a fluffy bed with rose-red bedsheets, besides which was... what could best be described as a chair made up of several massive hands with invasively long fingers.

"F-fudge!" Rainbow's voice cracked as she side-stepped.

Th-Thud! She accidentally knocked over the cardboard package. On the way down, it upset a dangling pony-shaped harness that hung on metal chains suspended from the ceiling. As the swingset floated to a stop, Rainbow could see several identical figurines standing all around it, all dressed in various forms of masculine workgear.

"Fudge fudge fudge fudge!"

Grimacing, the mare squatted down on trembling limbs to pick up the collapsed package. She noticed that the cardboard had burst open and a wooden frame had slid partially loose. Without thinking, she pulled the thing out the rest of the way. Rainbow Dash found herself staring at a framed picture of a rosy-cheeked alicorn with a familiar lavender coat. After a few nervous blinks, Rainbow realized that Twilight was being sandwiched between two bipedal monstrosities with very little room for her to breathe... or accomplish any other biological functions, for that matter.

"Fudge me!" Rainbow dropped the picture immediately, her voice squeaking. It was then that she noticed—in the rosy light—an elaborate assortment of custom paintings and posters lining the walls, each of them depicting the Princess of Friendship in many, many positions, and most of them nearly as foreign as the beastly things entangling her with all manner of fantastical limbs, straps... and leashes. "Fudge me to the Chocolate Kingdom of Chunky Monkey!"

Rainbow Dash didn't realize it, but she was galloping towards the nearest door at this point. A pair of blue wingfeathers instinctually covered her eyes, which caused her to blindly bump into no small amount of tables and lockers, spilling all sorts of sloshing bottles and silicon objects to the cold tile floor. She brushed by a bookcase, accidentally stealing more than one glance at textbooks filled to the brim with all sorts of smooth-skinned primates in various states of undress. And whipped cream.

At last, in a panicking heap of hyperventilating wheezes, Rainbow reached the door. She banged herself against it—and it was then that she noticed that the thing was bolted in place with over five heavy duty locks. Collecting her wits ever so slightly, she undid each of them, yanked the door knob, then threw herself out into the well-lit corridor of the castle beyond.

The pegasus draped herself over a bench, panting and sweating, her eyes as wide saucers as she struggled—in vain—to wipe the short term memory of every raunchy (and ribbed) object that she had just witnessed over the previous two minutes.

This made her oblivious to the series of tiny claws scraping over the crystalline tile. Spike had entered the room, rubbing his slitted eyes and yawning. "Twilight... nnngh... what's with all the noise? I was trying to get some much needed beauty sleep." He froze in place, blinking. "Whoah... Rainbow Dash! What are you doing here?"

"Spike!" Rainbow rolled over onto her back, legs twitching like a dead pill bug's. "You that is? I m-mean... you is that?!"

"I didn't know Twilight was having company today. Otherwise, I would have pulled a cold can of cider from the fridge—" Spike did a double-take, looking past Rainbow Dash. "Whoah... the door's open!"

"The... the door...?" Rainbow trembled, hugging herself as she rocked back and forth.

Spike waddled slowly past her, squinting. "Twilight's always keeping that door locked, saying that it's her 'special study room.' I mean... whew! It must be super special, 'cuz sometimes she's in there for hours at a time! I just wonder what she's studying—"

"Spike... uhhh..." Rainbow gulped, reaching a trembling hoof towards him. "I-I don't think you should be going in th—"

"Spiiiiiiike!"

Rainbow's blood ran cold from the familiar-sounding voice.

"It's me, Spike! I'm home from Quills and Sofa! Good news!" She trotted gaily around the corner, her canter energized by a trademark bounce. A bulging saddlebag hung around her side. "I found this new brace for your wrist! This way, you should be able to write future letters to Princess Celestia without..." The alicorn froze in place. Her twitching eyes locked on Rainbow Dash... and the open doorway beyond. "...cramps."

Rainbow tried to pronounce something, but all that came out of her muzzle was a dry, voiceless whimper.

Twilight's muzzle dropped one inch per second.

Neither mare noticed how close Spike had gotten to the doorway. "Hey..." His reptilian nostrils flared as he leaned forward to peer into the rosy room beyond. "...does anypony else smell raw fish?"

FLASSSSH! Twilight materialized in a bright pulse of magic, blocking Spike. Gritting her teeth, she flung the dragon whelp across the room with telekinesis.

"Whoah—!" Thud! He struck the wall somewhere beyond Rainbow.

SLAM! Twilight threw the door shut, pressing herself against it. However, her sudden jostling movement caused her right flank's saddlebag to open up, spilling several bottles of questionable oils and lubricants to the floor. Squeaking frantically, Twilight opened the door, shoved the items inside, and slammed it shut yet again... this time fastening all the locks magically from the outside. Once finished, she slumped against the frame, panting and panting.

Spike sat up, shaking his head. "Guh! Jeez, Twi! What was that all about?"

Twilight tried replying, but all that came out were high-pitched notes. Sweat poured down her lavender brow as she looked Rainbow's way.

Rainbow gazed back with a thousand-mile stare.

Twilight bit her lip to the point of bleeding. Finally, summoning a deep breath, she levitated several bits out of her saddlebag and plopped them in Spike's open paws across the way. "Here, Spike! Go to town! Buy yourself... uhm... t-tater tots!"

"Tater tots?!?" Spike jumped up with a bright grin. "Woohoo!" He rushed over and gave Twilight a hug. "Oh, Twilight, you're the best!" He ran down the hallway, waving the bits around with a jubilant cheer. And then... he was gone.

Blinking, Twilight's head swiveled back to face Rainbow.

Rainbow looked at her in horrified silence.

Twilight looked back, equally stupefied. After a few twitches, she brandished a frazzled smile.

Comments

[Sind]

"unshakable attraction" is putting it mildly...

[Leftover of Saikano]

Oh, this is like when you forget to erase your browser history.

"Fudge me to the Chocolate Kingdom of Chunky Monkey!"

[Lightning Bearer]

Well, that got bumpy fast.

[viofriedsevey]

Hahahahaha literally what the fuck, this has to be one of your weirdest fics. It's funny though , even while reading a fic as out there as this one, I can't help but notice your voices for the mane 6 are phenomenaly accurate. They never feel ooc.

[Generaresity]

Your writing is always wonderful to read and since this is new, I noticed a couple things. Forgive me if I'm wrong but...

Yeah. That." The stallion turned and pointed at a large rectangular packaged wrapped in brown cardboard. "Somepony's paid super handsomely to have that delivered to the Castle."

"Yes..." The stallion bit the edge of his fetlock. "And if I don't get it to Her Royal Highness in the next two hours, my supervisor's gonna kill me!" He gulped. "But... if I don't get this wagon fixed, he's gonna kill me all the same! Ohhhhhh... why didn't I follow Mom's device and take up drywalling?!"

[RoboRed]

Oh...my...god.

Maybe this is where Twi puts all her old bookcases..." She tripped over something that rattled. "...and... hoofcuffs?"

And that's when I knew exactly where this was headed.

Rainbow Dash was staring at a ponyquin... only there was something terribly strange about it. For one thing, the ponyquin had five legs instead of four. For another, it was standing straight up on two of its legs. And, lastly, one of its legs was pointed straight towards her at a forty-five degree angle... and at muzzle level.

...Well, maybe not "exactly"...

Neither mare noticed how close Spike had gotten to the doorway. "Hey..." His reptilian nostrils flared as he leaned forward to peer into the rosy room beyond. "...does anypony else smell raw fish?"

THE DELIVERY! HAH!

"Here, Spike! Go to town! Buy yourself... uhm... t-tater tots!"

"Tater tots?!?" Spike jumped up with a bright grin. "Woohoo!" He rushed over and gave Twilight a hug. "Oh, Twilight, you're the best!" He ran down the hallway, waving the bits around with a jubilant cheer. And then... he was gone.

This was the last thing I expected him to be excited about, but lol.

[wlam]

Dayum. I mean, given what the story is about it was kind of to be expected, but I did not see Twilight going full-out sex dungeon coming. Kinky.

[Fishberry]

Hooray for tater tots!