• Member Since 14th Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

zakueins


T

Last night, Dusk Shine-favorite student of Prince Helios and newly ascended alicorn-went to bed in a Ponyville where all of his friends were stallions and a major event was about to happen the next day. When he woke up, Dusk Shine had swapped placed with an alicorn mare named Twilight Sparkle. And, all of the friends and ponies that were male in his Ponyville were now female.

But, with the Princes (or is that Princesses?) coming tomorrow, Dusk Shine has no time to figure out what happened or what went wrong. Preparations need to be made and friends need to be consulted to get ready for the event. After all, everything else was just like his Ponyville. Surely it shouldn't be a problem, right?

Right?

A story that is inspired by and runs parallel with One Of Those Days by Taranth.

Proof reading and editing help provided by Door Matt.

Chapters (9)
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Comments ( 535 )

Tracking this. Will read tomorrow morning.

For a minute I thought that the side by side the stories are doing would make me choose one over the other, but they've each got little quirks that make them interesting.

Dusk needs a "muzzle" for his "traitor"

That would solve his problems :raritywink:

Hohoho, this is fun.
Fav this, i will read in next day.

The traitor voice pressing against his inner rear thighs was saying Grab her with your magic, drag her up to her cloud house, and see if you can actually do the practical with all the things you saw in the Pony Sutra with her…

Ohhhhh you. Good job traitor. Keep it up.
.....*thinking about twily* oh man...what happen to her.
*Meanwhile from Male version World*
(if you know what i mean)

A story that is inspired by and runs parallel with One Of Those Days by Taranth.

What the hell does that even mean? "Runs parallel?"
...
Never mind, I'm an idiot. Had a brain fart and forgot that OoTD was from Twilight's PoV not Dusk's.:derpytongue2: I'm over here all; "How are two stories from the same PoV going to parallel?!":rainbowhuh:

Hahaha, this is awesome. =D

Poor adorkable Dusk Shine and his little traitor. :) Got well and truly enough difference here for it to be its own seperate fic, and the differences are spreading...

Should be very interesting to see how this continues! And I need to get my act in gear or else you'll overtake me XD

Thank you for taking the time to work in my little corner of fanon!

5129772 Thank you! Dusk Shine has the issue that he might only have enough blood to run one head at a time... :eeyup:

And, I promise to not get to Bubble Berry/Pinkie Pie first. Besides, I don't think we have the same Elusive/Rarity solution. (So far, mine appears to involve second person perspective and Discord for at least a third of it...). :trollestia:

5128999 Hey, maybe Rarity can make him one! Perfectly fashionable, as well...

The lock is decorative, mind you...well, the lock casing is, but the mechanism is fully workable, and Rarity does have a key. The only key... :raritystarry:

5129441 I am now tempted to find out how to make that work. Because...well, because! :facehoof:

5129383 Well, we already do know what's going on in many ways with Twilight Sparkle...

When I started reading the story the likes were at 33 and the dislikes were at three, I didn't think I would be able to like and favorite thankfully someone else came along and preformed the deadfull deed for me and I have nothing to fear great story can't wait for more.

*Sigh*

Was really enjoying this story - familiar situation from OotD, but enough differences in events and style to make it worthwhile and entertaining as its own thing.

Then the whole "little traitor" thing started.

To be honest, this is exactly what I was afraid OotD would do (or reveal it had done... I think, tenses are problematic for unseen, to-be-revealed hypotheticals) with Dusk Shine in Mareville - the whole "Males always want sex and have little-to-no control over their libidos" cliche, which is not only a horrendous stereotype, but makes Dusk seem kind of out-of-character. Not completely, but... I just don't believe that any version of Twilight would be this... lascivious, even unwillingly. I can maybe see him/her having vague thoughts in that direction but not knowing what to do or feel about them in his/her usual adorkably oblivious way, but this... just seems a bit too All Men are Perverts for my liking.

Yes, I know the mares aren't exactly innocent either, and believe me, I do appreciate that fact. Heck, that would have made it great, considering how it fits in with the implications in the original (which I'm pretty sure I'm not just imagining) that the constant flirting wasn't because everyone was a stallion, but just because Twilight was too damn attractive for her own good. Honestly, my only complaint is the difference is Dusk's behaviour... but that's a pretty big part of the story, so... yeah.

Still, do continue, as it is very well written, but I hope you don't mind me saying that I won't consider this canon to OotD (Although... can you really talk about canon for a fanfic, an explicitly non-canon addition to something else? Non-canon to the non-canon? I don't know)

For all of the stories I've read about MLP switching genders, this is by far the best:pinkiehappy: Keep up the good work!

Imagine the panic that would set in if the residents of Ponyville caught wind that the CMC were Up To Something...

I'm enjoying this, but you need to give this a good long read, my friend:

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/who_vs_whom

Seriously, you're using whom way too much.

I feel horrible for Twilight right now. She has a town full of stallions to deal with.

Butterscotch, whom handled low-lying clouds and fogs as a part of his part-time job (and land tax exemption) with the Weather Bureau.

:rainbowhuh: Is that a Flash Fog reference I see or just a happy coincidence? Lol

I have read it now. It is decent, but I hope that you show continue to differentiate between this and what Twilight is going through, ie how the guys are coming onto Twi while Dusk finds them reacting to his personality and words.

5130416 Go read One of Those Days. It is the story that inspired this one, and may change your mind. Or not. I cannot read your mind to find out.

5130574 Yes. No matter where you go, as long as there is a pony needing to watch the Everfree for low-lying fogs...somepony with yellow fur and a pink mane and tail will be watching... :yay:

5130539 Yep, she's got her own problems to deal with ... :twilightangry2:

5130186 Dusk Shine has never had a libido that other ponies have responded to. Not really. It's a feed back loop, sort of like playing an electric guitar into one of those huge stage speakers. And, every man-at some point-has had that conflict between instinct and responsibility. It is just that Dusk Shine has the bad luck that today is when he is going to be so very sorely tested.

5130429 Oh, dear...just that, oh dear. :scootangel:

5130416 Thank you!

This story has a strange flavor.
As if you purposefully dumbed down the dialog, so preteens can read it.

It's... okay?
Time to read more!

Oh, that aint right! After all this build up, you write contraception out of the story and thrown the cast into the 1920s? :fluttershyouch: Also, funny as this is, statistics say that at least one of the 6 shouldn't be completely hetero; perhaps that can be the resolution after everything switches back? The one lone friend who is still... interested?:twilightsmile:

Huh. Strange.
Like the chapter wanted to be smart. But instead, it came unedited and chunky.

:rainbowhuh:

It's okay...

I think you might improve in the future. And I like the ideas you presented?
:twilightblush:

5130906 Dusk Shine is REALLY big on logic and-
1)No form of contraception other than abstinence (i.e. not having sex) is 100% effective. Dusk Shine knows the odds and the whole 0.001% doesn't help any...especially right now.
2)Dusk Shine is responsible and will not abandon what he views as his responsibilities.
3)He has no idea how he got here, or if and how he'll get back to his home.
4)Sheer panic at the idea that somepony might actually like him this way.
5)Dusk Shine, like Twilight Sparkle, doesn't do "casual" very well.

5130959 More editorial review by me...and, another chapter coming up soon.

They were marks of chaos, confusion, and destruction, and they were invisible.

So... who is Chaos, who is Confusion and who is destruction? My bet is Sweetie Bell, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, respectively.

5130994 Well, yes, all of that is true...
But this is Twilight (gender notwithstanding), and if there was ever a character who could fine a loophole...:scootangel::rainbowlaugh:...:twilightoops:

5131153 Yes. Or, they all three have the same invisible Cutie Mark...one of the Cutie Mark Crusaders shield... :trollestia:

5131150 Considering this fic is the inversion of that fic... :rainbowderp:

There will be some flank-kissing, I promise...

5131251 :twilightoops:

I like it so far. Just a few things to point out:

You have an issue with just using regular hyphens where you should be using em dashes. Similarly, there are a couple places where you hyphenated adjectives, but did an incomplete job of it.

Use contractions in dialogue and thoughts. Not using them makes Dusk's thoughts and words sound too formal. If you were writing from the perspective of a character like Rarity or Elusive it would be fine, but for Dusk it's out of place.

There are a couple other, more minor, grammar related hiccups, but nothing on the level of the thing with the em dashes. Still, it would be beneficial to acquire an editor, especially since this has hit the feature box.

5131301 You win the Marvel No Prize for understanding Dusk Shine. Best imagined with a Welsh accent...

I'm looking into editors as we speak...

This is hilarious and a good companion of sorts to the original.

Faved and thumbs up. :twilightsmile:

5131340
assets.diylol.com/hfs/bf7/135/d7b/resized/futurama-fry-meme-generator-not-sure-if-genuine-or-sarcastic-74c2d4.jpg

But either way, as an addition to my previous post, there were a couple other things I noticed in chapters two and three. The biggest one that I haven't seen pointed out yet by someone else is that there are quite a lot of places, especially in chapter two, where the sentences are oddly worded and clunky.

There were also a couple places, especially in chapter three, where Dusk's personality felt odd. The best way I can describe it is that he felt like an older, more mature version of Twilight. Almost like you were writing for Shining Armor (especially at the very end of the chapter here, where he had some serious White Knight vibes). Not that it's necessarily a bad thing, since at the end of the day, he isn't Twilight Sparkle, but it does put a bit more distance between him and his counterpart than I think was intentional.

Why hasn't Hasbro come up with the flag idea. it makes sense :twilightoops:

(Applejack had a theory about that-his theory was that the Cutie Mark Crusaders already had their Cutie Marks. They were marks of chaos, confusion, and destruction, and they were invisible. For, the moment the CMC knew that they had their marks, they Crusade would end and they wouldn’t be living up to their Cutie Marks. So, to keep the ontological paradox from happening, the Cutie Marks were invisible, which meant the Crusade kept going and going… After hearing this, Dusk Shine nodded, politely suggested to Applejack that he throw out whatever batch of cider he had been drinking, and started work on Starswirl’s Last Spell. A month later...Ascension.)

There is logic in this. and if true :twilightoops::pinkiegasp::pinkiecrazy:

5131523 Dusk Shine does what a lot of men do when the situation gets weird-he locks down his emotions and starts running on logic and training. Situations where emotions kick in are throwing him for a loop.

The bad news? ALL of the situation currently is involving emotions.

5131544 Not even my own theory, Estee suggested it in Triptych and it just makes so much sense...

@Dusk not realizing why all the mares want to look pretty and are lining up outside the library where he lives, after being told by RD that he is cute and being propositioned by her:

5131849 The stallion is occasionally slow on some kinds of the uptake... :facehoof:

5131740 Thank you, and...keeping those narrative voices clear. :yay:

when is Twilight Sparkle not ready for anything?”

“Y’want the list in alphabetical or chronological order?” Applejack asked, raising an eyebrow. :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

I would love to see Twilight's perpective of this situation.

and oh no. Dusk hit on my Celestia or Luna? :twilightoops::pinkiegasp::pinkiecrazy:

5132599 You do realize that this story IS a spin-off from Twilight's version of this story. It's called "One of Those Days."

This is the funniest, and most sensible thing I have read! Damn, I am creeped by rainbow, applejack is....putting the moves on dusk? And in a very clever way.... Oh and the flag thing?
:rainbowlaugh:
Twilight is very prepared. For everything. I wonder if she gots a artillery canon in her basement for a changeling attack!
maaaayyyybeeeeee..... :twilightsheepish:
GAH! Go back! You shouldn't be here! How are you here anyway?
that thing there...... And I needed to get some *cough* ammo..... :twilightblush:
....I have nothing to say about that.... Just go!
*whoosh*
Anyways.....
And the mares hitting on him? Or trying to be noticed?
I'm surprised at the story writing, thought it would be bad, but no! Good job....heh....heh
Hmm....
Good plot.
Needs smoother sentence structure.
Few grammatical errors.
Otherwise.
Good job.
Keep going.
Don't disappoint.
If you do...
Let's see how much blood is in ya.
:pinkiecrazy:

OH MY!!!!!!!!!!!!! AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

More chapters!!!! Please!!!!!

Love the story so far, very funny.

Can't wait till things get to the pinkie pie chapter:pinkiecrazy::heart:

will follow this story to see how it goes.

5132925 Both. Dusk Shine is now something very valuable in Ponyville-a very high-status single stallion...

5132929 Writing them as we speak. Taking short breaks to consider how many horrible things I can do with Dusk Shine and still be funny. :ajbemused:

5132934 Pinkie Pie is going to be a very, very interesting chapter. That, and the property damage, will be fun to write.

5132961 My is suggest the following?

A Pinkie Part for two, with a special Present to open up.

A wandering Tape measure then, a quite reveling dress.

The stare to make any pony do what the girl wants, then the poutiest face to make you feel bad for turning her down.

The mares team up on Dusk to play with them....

And of course.... The embodiment of the sun goes into heat

Just some fun ideas. If you don't like these types of post, tell me and I will edit it immediately.

5132961
Heh....heh.....
Yes, he is....
I'm waiting for the sexual harassment....
Rarity?
Either breaks, or flirts...
Then breaks....
Pinkie?
Two words.
Cupcakes.
Smile.
Princesses?
Shock and awe.
Heh.
Interesting....
And the others?
Complete madness.
Anarchy.
Hmmm...
Don't disappoint me.
Or my other side.
No procrastinating.
No errors...
Nothing....
Or Cupcakes the human version will finally have a....
Volunteer.....
:pinkiecrazy:

The situation when he gets to Rarity's...

"If I open that door and find you've prepared a candlelit dinner or something equally foolish, I will give your little broth- sister a copy of the Anarchist's Spellbook and a magic boost! I swear to Helios!"

5133370 now there is a time with Sweetie I'd pay to see. :rainbowlaugh:

Author's Note:
Heh. Heh. Heh. Heh....

I can only imagine the Princesses' reaction to this development.

Dusk: *Looking around Celestia's personal Dungeon* I need an adult.

Meanwhile, in Reboot!Cross-and-Arrow-verse:
"EVERY STALLION IN A LINE! NOW!" ~Twily

I notice Solaris said he was 'one of the best' and not 'the best'. Who would he consider his greatest student?

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