1. Member Since 4th May, 2013
  2. offline for 22m, 56s

On the Sliding Scale Of Idealism Vs. Cynicism, I like to think of myself as being idyllically cynical.  (Patreon page.)

The Apparently Inevitable Patreon Link

My page is right here.

I'm not going to try and talk you into anything.  You're the only one who can decide if you feel my work is worth your money.  Click at your own discretion.  


"Good morning.  Thank you for coming to my special press conference.  I appreciate your giving me the chance to explain myself and my actions to the public via livestream just before the live vote is held.

Now, I know all of you have heard the stories about my actions yesterday.  You've heard the testimony from the Guardian's reporter and the rather surprising corroboration from those of FOX News who witnessed the confrontation.  And you've also read the original statement released by my staff.  I would like to take this opportunity to retract that statement.  I did, in fact, assault the reporter, of my own free will.  I took the actions which were described by the press.  And to that end, I would like to say that I acted improperly.  I did not take the right action.

You see, I believe in the First Amendment.  I believe in the freedom to practice Christianity, convert others to it, and burn down the worship houses of everyone else.  That is what the First is about.  The right to speak Christian words, which naturally includes such things as 'I'm going to cut you, Jew-boy,' and 'Enjoy your eternal damnation, towel-head,' just before you righteously remove those corrupt liberal influences from my country.  I believe that everything reported by the corrupt liberal media must be denied at all times, and that said media must be brought under the control of the state, only publishing what the government allows.  For only when the First is controlled will white male conservative Christians such as myself be free to speak.

I believe that there is a natural order in the world.  White men were naturally made by God in His own image, and so we are the only ones fit to rule.  All others must be put back in their place.  Women shall return to the kitchen, stripped of the vote which has cost our nation so much, and those few blacks who claim the conservative banner shall be rewarded with the chance to once again labor in our fields.  For only when the Thirteenth and Nineteenth are repealed will white male conservative Christians know true freedom.

I believe that every liberal is a traitor to the United States, and the penalty for treason is death.  If you do not vote for those on the furthest right, you will be executed.  If you do not personally kill those who believe differently than you, you will be executed.  If you harbor such traitors within your own family, you will be executed.  If you have ever voted Democrat in your life, you will be executed.  If you have read liberal books, watched liberal media, or ever had a single liberal thought, you will be executed.  Your liberal wives shall be killed, for they are tainted by the belief that they have the right to think on their own.  Your liberal children shall be gunned down, for no liberal has a soul, and to kill something without a soul could never be a crime.  By my count, the only way to restore order in America is for two hundred and fifty million criminals who falsely call themselves Americans to die.  For only when one party and philosophy is completely removed from the face of God's earth will white male conservative Christians finally enjoy true democracy.

And in conclusion, I believe that my security forces have blocked off all the exits.

I did not act properly in my assault on the reporter.  I should have killed him.  This will now be corrected.  Every lying liberal media Communist whore in this room will now be gunned down like the animals they are.  

You see, in the past, we had an America where people could freely get together for a giant block party.  They would have a cookout, sing a little, dance, and use the meeting to get rid of the neighborhood's undesirables.  These days, the liberals have used the propaganda of their corrupt media and claimed this is some sort of crime.  But I believe in old-fashioned values, and I'm going to bring lynchings back.  My attack -- and again, I want to apologize for its non-fatal nature -- took place at a cookout.  What did you think I was trying to do?

Because I want to show America what the future shall be.  What it must be.  We will hang the gays from the lampposts.  We will throw the faithless into the gas chambers.  We will whitewash this nation until it is once again pure.  We will wipe Islam from history.  We shall finish the job started more than seventy years ago and take Israel for our own, as our birthright.  We will ultimately execute more than six billion soulless animals and leave behind only the true race, as our God intended, laughing while the rest of you burn.

For I have read the comments sections on the articles about my assault.  I know the true people approve.  I know they think I didn't go far enough.  I know this is what they want me to do.  

Thank you all for your time.  Oh, and while we've been busy here, my staff has been researching the locations of your childrens' schools.  With your last thoughts on my Earth, understand that they're next.

I am Greg Gianforte.  I represent the real America.  And this is what you deserve."

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  • Viewing 154 - 158 of 158
#158 · 1w, 3d ago · · ·

Hey, how's stuff going?

#157 · 3w, 18h ago · 1 · ·


Wait, what? Did I miss something?

(Edit for anyone else: ta, been brought to up speed.)

#156 · 3w, 5d ago · 2 · ·

I'm glad to see that the ban was only 24 hours.

#155 · 3w, 6d ago · 8 · ·

Welcome back!

I resisted the urge to post the video.

#154 · 4w, 4d ago · 1 · ·


Now that I've officially lost:  the completed Continuum story which I would have been the most curious to see site-featured, along with possibly giving an interview on because it's one of the things where I think people would really appreciate having my direct perspective to ignore, was A Confederacy Of Dunce Caps.  I don't know if it's the best standalone, though:  for those who haven't been through the 'verse, the scenes where Diamond uses her magic and Cheerilee calls her in for a private talk are probably confusing as @#$$ -- minimum.  But if TD's intent was a character study piece as record correction, that one might work.  Twilight Sparkle Vs. The Equestrian Cutie Mark Constellation Registry is better for a pure standalone and has less worldbuilding to ignore, but...

*Shrug Of FanFic Author*

However, of the three which were mentioned, I would have probably gone with Blessing, even with its built-in flaw of "Oooh, here's a mystery" -- one which was only recently solved.  

  • Viewing 154 - 158 of 158
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