Confections
Dusk Shine looked out from his vantage point on the roof, considering his options.
Sugarcube Corner was one of the more prominent buildings in Ponyville, from it’s gingerbread roof to cupcake turret in the center. The smokestacks from the ovens were always burning, as the Cakes worked around the clock to keep Ponyville supplied with baked goods. Clearly, there were ponies getting ready for the festivities tomorrow, as there was a short line from the door. He was happy for that-the Cakes had to put up with whatever version of Bubble Berry was here and that was not an easy thing to do. There was only one real question.
How could he get in without causing a riot?
He immediately dismissed teleportation, as there were quite a few unicorns there. They would be warned before his arrival by the flow of magic and his signature was rather distinct. Not to mention the entrance itself was rather...flashy. A forced entry seemed an equally poor choice-he could hurt somepony in the crush and that was unforgivable. Disguise? Not many stallions in town, unicorn or otherwise. Which was strange to Dusk Shine, because he expected to see a much less skewed ratio on a town that was basically a frontier town on the edge of the Everfree Forest. The Everfree back in his world was one of the most infamous and dangerous wild zones in Equestria, and Ponyville still had that feel of a town still trying to carve out a viable habitable zone.
Could that be why the sex ratio here is so skewed? Dusk Shine considered. The usual ratio-back home-of stallions to mares is about three to two. My Ponyville has a much, much higher ratio-almost the same as here but gender reversed-because Ponyville still is on the frontier. Usually, unattached males move to the frontier, followed by families then unattached females. But, it is the Everfree, and Applejack tells stories of every sort of creature living there, from cocatrices to manticores to lawyers. Even a few dragons and a portal to Tartarus lurk somewhere beyond. Could it be that the ponies here are more able to keep control over the wild zones? Less need for stallions in general because this is a safer world?
Suddenly, he was torn by a huge need to do research. Sociology always seemed to be such a soft science, but hard statistics were never boring. Could Dusk find a reason for the sudden number of mares in Ponyville and in general in statistical analysis? Something in his brain was gripped by a sudden reason to know and he was tempted to give in and find an answer. But, that last, single item on his checklist for the festival preparations was like a weight on his conscience, and Dusk had to fill that last check box.
So, he sat on the roof, and considered again. Everything he could think of that was subtle was out-teleportation and disguise probably wouldn’t work. Force was possible, but the risk of hurting somepony was there and Dusk wasn’t going to hurt anypony if he could help it. He looked through his memory, thinking about what Gleaming Shield would have done in this situation. Sometimes, Gleaming Shield told him once, when you can’t be subtle, you have to be blatant. And, if you have to be blatant, be audacious. Do something so outside the norm that nopony expects it. Be bold, and perhaps a little insane.
He thought about this for a bit, then said, “Well, nopony can say this was a subtle idea.”
There was a magical blink of teleportation, and Dusk Shine vanished from the rooftop.
The line for Sugarcube Corner was moving steadily. The Cakes ran a tight counter, and nopony could say that they were curt, but they did want to help as many ponies as they could. “Here you go,” Cup Cake said, handing off a bag of hoofprint cookies to Time Turner, whom smiled as he trotted out.
“Good afternoon,” Flitter said, shaking her wings a bit to get her saddle bags settled properly, “I’m here for the order of bear claws for the weather team. Are they ready?”
“Few more minutes,” Cup Cake smiled, and nodded. “I’ll call you when they’re ready.”
Flitter sighed, but she moved aside to let the next pony come up to the counter. Caramel came up, bits in his mouth, and smiled around them. “Two honey glazed donuts and a loaf of wheat bread,” he said, putting the bits on the counter.
Cup Cake expertly wrapped up the bread, put the wrapped loaf in a bag, and added two donuts to the top. “Here you go. Sure I can’t interest you in some donut holes?”
“What kind?” Caramel asked, curious.
“Strawberry jam-filled,” Cup Cake replied and pulled out a tray with the donut holes on them. “Only two bits more for a small bag of a half dozen.”
Caramel considered this for a moment, then pulled two more bits out of his saddle bags. “Sure! I can’t turn down strawberry jam-filled donut holes.”
Cup Cake poured the donut holes into a small white bag, carefully set them in the larger bag, and helped Caramel to get the bag settled into his saddle bags. Carmel trotted off happily, and Cup Cake looked over to see the next customer. “Hello, welcome to Sugarcube Corner, how may I help…,” she said, then there was a sharp, strangled noise in her throat as her mane started to lose its shape.
“Oh, hello, Mrs. Cake,” Dusk Shine said, cheerfully. “Is Pinkie Pie in? I really need to talk with her about the Festival preparations for tomorrow.”
The entirety of Sugarcube Corner went as silent as the grave. Everypony was looking at Dusk Shine, and he remembered that this was a part of the plan. He merely found a nearby alley to come out of, trotted calmly over to the line for the counter, and waited behind Caramel. A few moments later, Amethyst Star came up behind him and was so intent on the scroll she was reading she wasn’t even looking at who was in front of her. It was all position and relative motion, and when Dusk Shine took steps in line, she followed. All Dusk Shine had to do was not say anything and let the line carry him in.
Every pony in the room was about to say something...then, Dusk Shine coughed. “Missus Cake?”
Cup Cake looked at him, and tossed her head, throwing her mane back into its proper shape. “Um...oh, yes! Carrot Cake!”
Carrot Cake stuck his head out of the kitchen, and said, “What is it…,” his voice trailing off as he saw Dusk Shine cheerfully waving from the counter.
“Could you be a dear and see if Pinkie Pie will accept guests? Tell her that Dusk Shine is here for the Festival preparations,” Cup Cake said, trying to resume her usual poise of sangfroid.
“S...sure!” Carrot Cake stammered, and vanished behind the kitchen door again.
“Oh, while I am waiting,” Dusk Shine said, sliding three bits across the table with his magic, “May I have a donut? Chocolate glazed, if you have any.”
Cup Cake looked at the money like it was about to explode, then smiled as gently as she could, “On the house, dear.” She slid the money back, and went to get the donut. Dusk looked at the money and gently dropped it in the tip jar. As he waited, Cup Cake came back with a chocolate glazed donut on a plate. “Here you go.”
“Thank you,” Dusk replied, and took the donut in his magic, trotting calmly over to a nearby table, and sitting down. The silence continued...an almost pregnant pause as he nibbled on the donut. From outside, the sound of two mares talking became noticeable, as they walked in.
The two mares, one a unicorn and the other an Earth pony, looked around at the quiet room. The unicorn, white fur with a two-tone blue mane and purple sunglasses, was continuing what sounded like a monologue in her Trottingham-accented voice, “But, Tavi,” the unicorn said, “I’m sure that we can get everything ready for your band…”
“Orchestra,” the dark grey-mained Earth pony corrected insistently in an upper-class Trottingham accent.
“Whatever,” the unicorn said, “we’ll get it set up in plenty of time and I can get my wubs ready and…”
The unicorn looked, and Dusk thought he was making eye contact with the mare. Her horn lit up, and in a blink, she vanished and teleported over to where Dusk Shine was. “Hey, there you are!” the unicorn mare said, as the Earth pony rolled her eyes and sighed.
“Well, yes, here I am now,” Dusk replied.
“Excellent! I happen to be Vinyl Scratch,” the unicorn said, smiling. “But my stage name’s DJ-PON3. I’m one of the acts at the dance floor for the Festival tomorrow! I’m glad to have run into you, ‘cause I was wanting to talk with Twilight Sparkle about getting set up early. Since she’s not here right now, I’m assuming you’re running things?”
“Well,” Dusk nodded in reply, “yes, I am. I am trying to get everything set up properly.”
“Hey,” Vinyl Scratch said, “you sound like a Trottingham native.” Her smile was a wonder to behold. “You don’t hear that accent that often, sound Northern.”
“A lot of places have a North,” Dusk sighed.
“That they do, but anyways, I know my setup is at 9 am, but I’ve got to help Octavia set up her band…”
“My orchestra,” the Earth pony interrupted, trotting over to stand beside Vinyl Scratch.
“Her orchestra,” Vinyl corrected herself, “so, I was wondering if I could be in early at 8 am for my setup?”
Dusk Shine considered this, and pulled out a scroll from Elsewhere. “I do not see a problem with that,” he said. “I will send a note over so they will be ready when you get there.”
“Awesome,” Vinyl replied, and then she smiled. “So, are you up to anything tonight?”
“Not that I know of,” Dusk answered instinctively.
“Well, I can give you a full demo of my music, and after that, we can talk more about plans, and…,” Vinyl started to say.
Octavia immediately bit Vinyl on her ear, and started to drag her out of Sugarcube Corner.
“OW! TAVI!” Vinyl gasped. “Why are you doing this again?”
“You remember what our agreement was for adding partners to our relationship?” Octavia said around Vinyl’s ear, clearly if a bit muffled by the ear in her mouth.
“‘We have to agree on who we’re going to pony before I invite them over to pony,’” Vinyl recited in a bored-if somewhat pained-voice. “Ow, that hurts! But, he’s cute and he’s single and I think you like him, too…”
“Yes, I do, but we had an agreement,” Octavia said, still pulling Vinyl across the floor with Vinyl’s hooves trying to get some purchase to stop..
“I’m sorry I got the order wrong,” Vinyl replied, and tried to get away from Octavia’s firmly clamped teeth. “Can we go and talk about this first before we get outside…”
“No,” Octavia interrupted, and she kicked open the door, “we have this discussion about our agreements first, unless you want to sleep on the couch tonight.”
“No fair,” Vinyl pouted, still resisting as the two of them went out the door and out to the street.
Everypony was watching the couple leave Sugarcube Corner. Then, every single mare turned their heads to look at Dusk Shine. There was a momentary expression of wonder and lust and examination.
And they lept.
They surrounded the table he was sitting at, stacking themselves three, four ponies deep, and started to pelt him with questions.
“Are you single, Prince?”
“Are you up to anything tonight, Dusk Shine?”
“I have this wonderful bottle of wine at home, Dusk Shine!”
“Do you have anypony for the dance tomorrow night, Dusk Shine?”
They started to crowd in, pressing in with their bodies and questions. Dusk looked, his wings starting to extend both in joy and horror as the number mares with questions kept increasing more and more. He wasn’t sure who he should talk about or ask first and he realized that his next option was either teleportation or a riot.
He began to gather the magic he needed to teleport out of there…
WHAM!
The loud crash of something at the counter was enough to be heard over the insistent questions of nearly a dozen mares. It made everypony turn to look, as Cup Cake held in one of her front hooves one of the large rolling pins, one nearly as thick around as her leg. She looked at every single mare starting to harass Dusk Shine and her eyes narrowed.
“You will listen to me,” she said, lifting the rolling pin up. “And you will understand that you are guests in my house. You will not harass my guests, and you will all go back to your tables and show that you are polite and civilized ponies. Because the first one of you that does not show that she is a civilized and polite pony will be thrown out of Sugarcube Corner. If I am feeling kind, you will go out through the door, and not the window. Don’t ask what happens to the second pony that shows that she is not polite and civilized.”
Everypony looked at Cup Cake, and at her rolling pin. One of the mares lifted her front right hoof, as if she was to say something.
WHAM!
Cup Cake slammed the rolling pin on the counter, and just stared at the mare. She lowered her hoof, and started to trot back to her table, looking ashamed. The rest of the mares looked at each other, with embarrased expressions on their faces. One of the mares turned and said, “I’m sorry for harassing you,” and they all went back to their tables and their food. Cup Cake put the rolling pin down on the counter, and went to get another chocolate glazed donut.
She trotted over to Dusk’s table, and put the plate down. “I’m sorry about that, normally my customers are much nicer ponies,” she said, pitching her voice so the entire room could hear it.
“Thank you,” Dusk nodded, and started to nibble on the donut.
“Besides,” she whispered conspiratorially, “I’d ask you out myself if I wasn’t a happy married mare. Just with better style than charging in.”
Dusk nearly choked on his bite of donut, his wings popping partially open in shock. Cup Cake smiled, and said, “Sorry about that.”
“No, no, it is fine,” Dusk smiled as the coughing fit stopped. “I think I should be expecting that kind of reaction.”
“Only if you want it to happen,” Cup Cake replied. “And, when you’re done with your donuts, Pinkie wants to see you in her room.”
“Oh, dear,” he said, swallowing the donuts in three large gulps. He cleaned off his muzzle with a napkin, and looked around. “Main stairs over there?”
“Yep,” Cup Cake smiled. “I’ll clean up, don’t worry about that.”
Dusk nodded, and got up from the table, trotting over to the stairs and up to the second floor.
He tried not to think about all the eyes following him as he went upstairs.
The stairs seemed to lead on forever, but were only a few seconds as Dusk came up to the door. He lifted his hoof to Pinkie Pie’s decorated doorway, and paused for a moment. It wasn’t like Dusk Shine hadn’t had to deal with the party pony before. Admittedly, as a male pony, but this wasn’t why he was hesitating. Bubble Berry was…chaotic - the starkest of contrasts to the organized checklist mind of Dusk Shine. Even Eris remarked that she wasn’t sure exactly how Bubble Berry’s brain worked. The Bubble Sense as well, that ill-defined ability to know when things were about to happen, was something that had drove Dusk to frustration. It took several days for him to realize that the Bubble Sense worked...somehow. One of the newest experiments that he was going to try post-Ascension was another attempt at figuring out how exactly it worked.
Throw in the rumors that had to have reached Pinkie Pie already, and Bubble Berry’s usual over enthusiasm to any problem… Dusk was seriously considering just slipping a note under the door and running for the library.
After all, Dusk thought, it is not like I will encounter Pinkie Pie trying to do anything else that happened today...I hope.
Dusk knocked on the door. No response. He knocked two more times, and on the third knock, the door opened. “Hello?” Dusk asked, slightly nervous at the lack of sounds inside the room. Worried, he carefully opened the door with his hoof, and quietly trotted into the bedroom.
It was a scene of horror.
Somepony had been trying to organize the whole room. While Dusk fully approved of organization and putting everything in it’s place (and having a place for everything), the attempt to impose order upon Pinkie Pie’s room was like somepony trying to juggle pumpkin pie filling. Items were organized...in three different ways on the same shelf, as if somepony was trying to make the ways work out. Dishes were organized by type, then color, then shape. Piles of things in a rough sort of order--books, party supplies, materials--were on the floor and on the table. And, there was the oddest of sounds coming from Pinkie Pie’s bed.
Dusk looked over, and realized he was looking right at Pinkie Pie’s rear-her head was buried so deeply in her pillows that he couldn’t see most of her front end. Her normally bright pink fur was a dull pinkish-grey and her tail was straight and dark pinkish-grey as well. And, he realized exactly what the sound was.
Pinkie Pie was crying. She was crying so much under her pillows that he could even hear it from here, and Dusk knew the signs from when Bubble Berry got seriously depressed. He carefully walked over to the bedside and said, “Pinkie Pie...it is Dusk Shine. Are you okay?”
The head that popped up from under the pillows lacked the manic curls that he had known from Bubble Berry (but was probably even more impressive from the length of hair that Pinkie had), and the eyes were red and raw from crying. Pinkie carefully came off the bed, and her face drew up into a sob. Then, she threw her front hooves over his shoulders and started to cry in tears that seemed to exceed her body weight in water. “I can’t do it Dusky, I can’t!” she said between sobs.
“What can you not do?” Dusk replied, carefully hugging her with his hooves as her tears flowed.
“I can’t be an organized pony! I just can’t! You see? I can’t even make things make sense, and if you’re anything like Twilight Sparkle you’re the most organized pony I know! You’d never like me if I was disorganized and I can’t be organized!” Pinkie cried out, tears running like a river down her cheeks.
Dusk froze in horror and shock. Oh, dear sweet Faust, please tell me she is not trying to impress me… “Pinkie Pie...why would you think I would not like you if you were not who you were?”
Pinkie stopped crying for a moment and sniffled a bit, her nose running from all the tears she cried. “Because...because...because I’m not as organized as anypony else. I mean, I know where everything is, or where it was...but, I’m never going to be the sort of pony that would attract a librarian stallion like you.”
Dusk lowered his head, and shook it in sadness and anger. “Pinkie...if I am like Twilight Sparkle in this way, we are both magical researchers. Do you know what they call disorganized magical researchers?”
“No?” she sniffed.
“There is a very technical term for disorganized magical researchers. They are called statistics, because something goes wrong and somepony has to clean up the mess afterwards. Usually with a squeegee or a dust pan. I do a lot of very high-level magical research and can cast very powerful spells. Disorganization in that respect could mean that they put a sign up beside the Dusk Shine Memorial Crater,” he replied calmly. “It would not be a small crater. And, if I was to fall in love with somepony, I would never want or demand or require them to change who they are to be with me. If they could or did...why was I with them in the first place?”
Pinkie nodded at this, and Dusk continued. “Right now...you realize just how much of a mess my situation is in?”
“I’ve been feeling doozies all day,” Pinkie replied. She found a huge handkerchief and blowed her nose clean of everything that had been coming out of it.
“My entire day today has been a doozie. Between all of our friends, I do not know what I should do other than be responsible and not give into temptation,” he said. “So...I am here to ask about your part of the party preparations.”
Pinkie considered, and he could see the beginnings of color flow back into her fur and mane. “I’d need to get everything set back up again. I have this wonderful plan for an awesome cake to celebrate Celestia and Luna. Doing a dark frosting on a white cake background that would be utterly scrumptious and delicious and tasty!”
“That sounds great,” Dusk nodded.
“It would have this awesome Sun and Moon-style decorations that I’ve been working on and it’s made in such a way that no matter what size of a slice of cake you had, you’d always get about the same amount of Sun and Moon stuff with it,” she continued, her hair beginning to come back into it’s normal curls and tangles.
Dusk continued to nod, and helped Pinkie to clean off her work table to get started on the cake.
“I’ll have all the cakes ready by tomorrow, plenty of time to set up, get the punch made, and all the decorations up,” Pinkie said, starting to pull and lay out cake pans and bowls to mix the cake batter.
“Excellent,” Dusk smiled.
“And, once I’ve gotten all that done, it’ll be perfect practice for our wedding cake,” Pinkie continued, getting her cookbook out.
Dusk was about to compliment her, then his brain hit the last three words in the sentence. “Our...wedding cake?” he asked in a strained voice.
“Well, of course, our wedding cake. Did you think that anypony else was going to bake it? Well, maybe the Cakes, I’d have to ask them to help, but I wouldn’t let anypony else make the cakes. And the other stuff for the party and such!” Pinkie gushed enthusiastically.
“Pinkie, I think we are missing a step here, somewhere,” Dusk said, looking carefully for the door.
“Oh, I know we have to do the whole dating thing, and everything else,” Pinkie continued, starting to pull out cooking utensils. “I promise to do that first. And, Rarity would never forgive us if she didn’t make the dresses and the suits and such for us. Or Applejack doing all the other catering and bringing apples and all that neat food she can make! I mean, unless you want to just marry me myself, and not anypony else as well. I was thinking about all of us Elements together, that would be perfect! Besides,” and here Pinkie Pie nuzzled up to Dusk Shine, just behind his chin and smiled, “I wouldn’t want anypony else but you as my stallion in bed.”
Dusk make a small, tight gurgling sound. His brain had locked up, and even the little traitor wasn’t sure how to respond. His wings, on the other hand, decided that a partial opening was the right decision for now. Pinkie Pie’s smile was a wonder to behold (how can she fit all those teeth in her jaw? Dusk thought to himself) and she got back to work on the cakes.
“Anyways, once I’ve got this cake done, you probably don’t have any plans for tonight. What would you like to do this evening?” Pinkie asked, and turned to look at Dusk Shine.
Dusk was still shocked into silence, and she continued.
“Well, I know you need to get to bed early since you’ve got all the stuff you need to do tomorrow for the Festival and I should get some sleep, as well. I know of this great place for dinner that would be neat to show you and…,” Pinkie continued.
Dusk said, “Pinkie! I have not even agreed to a first date yet, and you are already planning our wedding?”
“Well, I am the most super duper party planner in Ponyville, and this is a big party! I have to get started planning on it early!”
Dusk started to measure relative distances, then said in a rush, “I have got a lot of preparation work to do tomorrow, so I need to get going now. See you tomorrow!”
And he dashed for the open door.
Pinkie Pie got in front of it and closed it before he got there, and Dusk Shine ran into her. The two of them fell into a tangle on the floor together. “Awww! Getting started early on our date?” Pinkie asked cheerfully.
Dusk Shine pulled away immediately and realized what he had to do next. His horn flared, and he vanished as he teleported outside.
Pinkie Pie looked at the space where Dusk Shine used to be and said, “Darn. Playing hard to get…”
Dusk Shine kept teleporting.
It seemed easier that way to get away from the madness.
Six teleportations later, he was in line of sight of the library, hiding on another rooftop. The mare hunting parties were clearly taking a break for dinner, as Dusk watched them begin to filter into the restaurants. Dusk knew that he was getting depressed looking out at a Ponyville that was happy. If he went anywhere near them...it would be a riot.
“Sub-optimal,” he muttered. He sniffed and could feel the beginning of tears. “I just want to go home. Not be the lightning rod of the lust of mares.”
Dusk let his tears flow for a few minutes, then pulled out a handkerchief from Elsewhere and blew his nose. Drying his eyes, he considered relative positions and allowed his horn to flare one more time. This last teleportation was into Twilight Sparkle’s bedroom. No confused mare wondering how she had gotten back home, only one very tired and depressed stallion. He looked around and sat on the bed for a second.
“Um...Dusk?” he heard a voice at the door. Male, dragon, then a knock. “May I come in?”
“Yes, Spike, you can,” Dusk replied, and Spike came in, looking worried.
“Are you all right? You look bad,” Spike asked, carefully looking at Dusk.
“I have had a very bad day. Between what has happened and what is going on with the friends of Twilight Sparkle,” Dusk said, “It has been very, very chaotic and messy. Is the library…,” and here his voice trailed off.
“Cleared of everypony after working hours,” Spike said. “I checked, twice. And made sure every door was locked. Wow, you sound exhausted. I’ll make dinner for you, right now. Hayburgers all right?”
“That would be wonderful, Spike,” Dusk nodded.
Spike smiled, and was about to walk out the door when he paused for a moment. “Ooops,” he said, and then a gout of green flame came out of his mouth. A scroll landed in the hands ready to catch it, and he opened it up. Then, Spike looked at Dusk, then the scroll again.
“What does it say?” Dusk asked.
“I think...well, I think you’d better read it,” Spike said, offering the scroll to Dusk.
Dusk took the scroll in his magic and read the scroll. A soft, strangled sound came from his throat, and he looked at Spike. “I think...we will need more places at the dinner table. My...Shining Armor and Princess Cadance are coming. They wanted to come early, before the Festival started, to see...to see Twilight Sparkle.”
Dusk Shine looked at Spike, and the stress of the whole day hit him at once. His eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he fainted, colliding onto the floor with a satisfying clump.
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Oh this is going to be good!
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Two words, two simple, little words.
!RED FLAG!
Epic twist. Adding Cadence and Shinning Armor. Brilliant. Great job. Thanks for the update.
I love this story. I liked how Miss Cake flirted with Dusk Shine but still made it clear that she would only stay with Carrot and the way she established order at Sugarcube Corner. I also found it hilarious how Vinyl attempted to get a threesome with Octavia and Dusk only to be reproached by Octavia, how Dusk comforted Pinkie only to get her excited and start planning a wedding between Dusk and the rest of the Main 6, and Dusk's reaction to the letter telling this that Shining and Cadence would visit. I hope the Cadence chapter comes soon because this is getting interesting.
5372081 But, but...it is an unfinished checklist. You do not leave a checklist unfinished!
You. Do. Not.
5372103 It seemed like the logical next step.
Besides, some ponies need some counseling...
5372219 Thank you!
*laughs* When you said you'd hold off posting until I put up my next one, I wasn't expecting it within the hour.
That is one of the most adorable Pinkie Pie scenes I've seen in a long time. I approve.
Dude's going to have some serious explaining to do when Twilight gets back... although somehow I can imagine her just being left with a note by her bed saying "I am so, so sorry..."
Cadance should be very interesting indeed...
5372304 You mean Mrs. Cake, (Remember it is gendered swap universe) so that would Dusk's Mr. cake. Talk about awkward.
The pony I would be scared of right now is Luna though. Dusk has no escape in his own dreams.
5372304 at this point Screw the list, before another mare wants him to screw her.
But Dusk has to admit. It's flattering that the female version of his friends want him.
5372328 There's a reason why the chapter after the Cadence once is named Inception.
Don't worry, there will be no implanting of ideas. Or perspective shifts. But, Princess Luna is going to be torn between "this is a strange stallion in my Dreamlands" and "this is a cute and adorkable alicorn stallion in my Dreamlands". If I can't get laughter from that...
5372321 The whole Pinkie Pie sequence was written in a single marathon blitz. It was the scenes around it that took longer, especially the arrival at Sugarcube Corner.
I literally couldn't see Pinkie Pie any other way than this.
And, I can't see anything other than this utterly massive scroll of observations, notes, and apologies...sometimes all three in the same sentence...
5372070 I'm with Engy here! Also, sweet dang, Mrs Cake is a badass!
Dusk Shine Memorial Crater, I lost it there.
5372358 The funny thing with Twilight's friends, that they don't realize that Twilight is having 5 Stallions hitting on her. Blitz probably said he would teach aerial manover 69f, AppleJack would have kissed her saying how he loved her morals, Butterscotch would have tried flirting then try to dominate Twilight (Yes I used the word Dominate), Elusive would have put Twilight in a wedding dress (KREEPY), and Berry would have a mental break down trying to show his clean room to Twilight. They really aren't thinking are they. To be honest I think Dusk has it better. I think guys like the idea of having more sex partners than girls, but I could be mistaken. (just looking at what they show on tv.)
5372070 That lunchbox shall be mine.
5372429 It would be a large crater... or so I've heard. XD
Oh my God...THIS IS GONNA BE EPIC!
Ayy.
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Lmao.
5372431 Read the story this one is based off of. One of Those Days. It tells how Twilight's interactions with the Male 5 are going. This story is deviating from the reactions of the base story.
I think Twilight is screwed regradless of gender. Though it does bring up the question, do they have feeling for Dusk due to being a male version of a freind, or they were attractive regradless ibut neither Dusk Shine/Twilight knew for they were more suditle when they were the same gender, for mentally being unsure if Twilight/Dusk Shine would go for it?
Shining will not be happy
5372431 I'd have to disagree and say that twilight has it better. Mainly because most of the girls have been utterly crazy when they met Dusk. Twilight, on the other hand, has only had to deal with them hitting on her (with the possible exception of Rainbow Blitz (can't really remember what happened with him)). There's also the fact that twilight hasn't had anyone actively seeking her out like Dusk has.... yet
You know this is gonna end up with Celestia doing the pegasus mating dance or something silly like that.
5373646 How do you know that?
If I was him, I would just put up a sign at the door. Now serving 190,762. And have the ticket counter be empty next to it.
With any luck Cadance will be able to sort this out.
Pft. "Luck." Yeah, sure.
Ooh, maybe the mares will start trying to Swarm Cadance instead, trying to get her to make Dusk fall in love with them! I hope so at least. If I were Dusk, and Cadance started trying to treat this whole thing like a game, that's just about be the point where I go postal.
5373888 i was comparing it to the other fic which i thought you were referring to. S'pose it serves me right for skim reading comments
(this one http://www.fimfiction.net/story/141418/one-of-those-days)
5374809 Thanks. School just ended for me, so any suggestions on a good story to read?
5372431 No.
You do NOT want multiple women hitting on you at the same time, women don't know how to share or talk out a problem like mature responsible adults. It always turns into a massive clusterfuck. If multiple guy's are going after the same girl they are usually mature enough to know how to settle it.
At least that's what it's like where I'm from.
5375080 It depends if the guys or girls are mature. If they are, then the cluck fest and the possible brawl between the guys can be avoided. If they're not mature, then all bets are off on the guys.
5375165 True, but what I've seen, and been involved in, is once that first guy breaks through and "stakes his claim" the others back off and respect the relationship.
But yeah, it helps if the guys involved aren't raging dickbags.
5374816 aside from the one i linked, all i can think of is Fallout:Equestria if you want some long, dark, fallout inspired post apocalyptia
5375177 Seeing how the girls are acting, I believe the guys are thinking, the one to either get married or Twilight in bed, is the one what gets the relationship with her.
5374809 Read it. Great story.
How is Dusk going react to seeing his sister as a guy and his brother in law as a girl? How will they react seeing a male Twilight? Dusk has the worst luck. I was surprised by Pinkie's moderation. I was half expecting a psycho Pinkemania kidnapping. Thank God for Mrs. Cake, things could've gone downhill fast if it weren't for her and her rolling pin.
5378014 Fixed!
5377268 Denial, then a quick pass-through anger with a short pass at bargaining. Acceptance is going to be tricky.
Psycho Pinkie is easy. Comedy Pinkie is hard.
5374738 There is a lecture sequence involved. And, you will hear (read?) Cadence's Royal Crystal Kingdom Voice.
Mrs. Cake. Total badass.
This is good. Fun and funny is a sadistic way. I love his pain.
5378844
I eat pain.
Oh sweet Solaris and Celestia, this will be exiting!!!!!
Poor Dusk, he just can't catch a break.
That's from Doctor Who reboot, season 1 episode 1: Rose. I laughed as soon as I read it.
Can't wait for the next chapter and keep up the good work.
5379787
Don't we all?
Meeting the In-law again for the first time.
Was that a cheeky 9th doctor reference there?
Well done sir!
Mrs Cake is a badass.
HA! Good one! Although I would have probably gone with politicians.
5377268
5372304
I was expecting for Pinkie to pull a Pepe Le Pew or Fifi La Fume chase on him, the moment it was written that she jumped in front of him to block the door, and especially after she said the "hard to get" part.
She already did such a chase with Rainbow twice, once because she wanted to ask a favor and second when she was angry and wanted to know what's in Dash's bag.
Would have been nice to see her doing it for a romantic purpose this time, trying to hug and smother Dusk with affection while talking about their soon to have date, wedding, marriage, bedtime fun and foals. Also she could have used funny sounding word plays on him when he tries to get away.
Kinda kind of like this:
or the classic wording:
Until I saw someone mention it in a comment in One of Those Days, I had no idea there was a partner story...
Very interesting. The fact this is a bit darker and more...overt...? does reall help make it a different experience. Good work.
So let me get this straight: across the two dimensions only the Mane6 are gender-swapped? And is Teleport a common spell for Unicorns? Nice rendering of Vinyl and Octavia. I especially like that you have Vinyl using her fan name as her stage name. And you've opted for 'Time Turner' rather than 'Doctor Whooves' or 'Doctor Hooves.' I'll be honest: I use the official names when I can. I'm not sure people will know who I'm naming when I say 'Minuette' in First Gear, ch 2. It's Colgate.
Also, Cup Cake seems to have earned some Levels in Bada$$. She may get some votes as Best Pony.
5455022 When Dusk Shine was talking to Applejack, he told her that her stallion counterpart had an elder sister named Red Gala.
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