• Member Since 1st Apr, 2018
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

Doug Graves



A human appears in Equestria, meeting Applejack and soon the rest of the ponies of Ponyville. He does his best to cope with the new situation, especially those that move faster than he might be comfortable with. The first year of his time in Equestria.

Set approximately seven years before the events of MLP:FiM.

Sex tag is for relationships between human and ponies (no clop).

Continued in:
Alternate Beginnings: Year Two

Behind Closed Doors (Mature continuations of select * chapters)

Has a finished rewrite! Takes things a bit slower, lasts longer, has * scenes integrated into the story (Mature).

Chapters (27)
Comments ( 203 )

If I were Doug, I would just leave. Applejack... isn't the nicest of ponies when it comes to her farm. One day, I'm very sure Doug isn't going to put up with her shit anymore. I know I wouldn't.

It a good story.

Honestly I could see Pinkie doing exactly like that.

wait im confused the title of the story is called alternate beginnings year one but the epilogue is called "epilogue six years later"
so if you ever make a sequil would it be called "alternate beginnings year two? or year 7?

Mostly it is to provide some sense of closure (ends on something of a bombshell)

Sequel, if/when it comes out, is year two.

I want to read this story, but it seems too inconsistent to me. I mean when he first shows up AJ, I guess I could see how she would be calmer... maybe? But if I see a strange being from the everfree I'ma leary to say the least. Even after I start to get to know it a bit. And then mac shows up... And an alien walks into the kitchen and just talks to him like an old friend. If I did not know any better this here alien is hypnotizing people to remain calm and collected around him. Or it's just bad writing that needs work....

This was a weirdly addicting little piece of fiction. When I saw how fast the relationship started I was pretty turned off by it, but when I kept pushing through I found the characters and their interactions to be surprisingly well-developed. Even the characters themselves seem to acknowledge how fast their relationships were turning out.

Though there isn't much conflict in the story itself, the pacing is alright and the emotional struggle is real enough to make up for the lack of action.

So at the end of the day, I gotta say that I actually liked this little piece. As long as you can accept how fast the relationship starts out, you can find yourselves easily reading through the whole thing before you know it.

Be-leave it or not alot of farmers are like this, so set in their way's that it's hard to get them to change. The fact Applejack is willing to listen to his idea's and see what would work and what won't is a VERY good progress.

i worked on a Farm some years ago that was still using tractors from the 50's, so I am sayign this from experience.

THIS is why I admire Spitfire AND how I think she would act! She not only put's the Wonderbolts reputation first, but it's members (and potential members) also. This gives Dash all the time she needs to have the Foal, raise her, get back in shape and try again when she thinks she can do so ALL while still having a paying job to boot!

You have my Respect for a well done and flushed out personality for Spitfire!

My god, you even got Fluttershy right, she is on par with Zecora when it comes to writing Personality! Props man, mean props.

They fact that they are on the same page as far as rules go, makes me wonder WHAT those "Normal Rules" Are and if Rarity has a thing for BDSM :pinkiegasp:

Oh god, I would hate to be the one who has to Role play as Pinkie, that was lead Insanity! :pinkiecrazy:

Well.....I didn't exactly see this coming, talk about a ball out of left field! I like this take on the origins of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, now just to see if they develop the same way or if they do better then in Cannon. Though I can already see that they might just be Empathic by the way they were acting which would be awsome and would come in handy later on down the line.

Damn, you really had to Cliff it like that didn't you! I really hope there is another :fluttercry:

Thanks for the comments! Year two is in the works. One of the goals is to conform to the show as much as possible, continuity is key!

Uhh is that even possible at this point? Him just being there is going to change things, then with twilight showing up Celestia will be informed and I can't see him sitting on the sidelines when it comes nightmare moon and the retrieval of the elements. I think this going off the script would be better.

Interesting concept, I haven't seen many stories in Pre-Twilight Ponyville. I was expecting AJ to find him more weird so to say since he came from the Everfree.

Only thing I could find issue to complain about is that you put the whole story up at once, you'll get more views with periodic updates, say every Friday.

I really liked this story, not many I can say I read in one go. The relationships felt a little rushed at first but I'm honestly OK with that. I generally prefer focus on the actual relationships rather than spend half the story building up to them.

One minor nitpick, I'm not sure how necessary the Fluttershy and Pinkie tags are as they aren't really a major part of the story. It's mostly focused on Applejack, Rarity and Rainbow with the 2 of them not really showing up until the end and even then they don't get nearly as much focus as the other 3. But like I said mostly just a nitpick since I feel like the tags aren't necessary if the characters don't have a major role in the story.

How come Twilight is never in any of the cover art?

This is set before Twilight arrives in Ponyville so she isn't in the story yet.

Comment posted by Doug Graves deleted Jun 30th, 2018

Well, it is an interesting start, but the ponies and human seem to just accept the other species's existance a little too easily.

So polygamy is legal in Equestria due to the 1 male to 4 females ratio.

“He does, Celestia knows why, but he does.”

because plot demands it Applejack

Applejack shakes her head before looking him in the eyes and saying, “It ain’t that. Did ya mean what ya said earlier, at dinner?”

Doug nods, saying, “Applejack, today was one of the best days of my life. I enjoyed working with you, learning about the farm, and especially eating your cooking. I don’t know how it could have gone any better.”

Applejack smiles at him, “Doug, Ah feel the same way, Ah just had to be sure.” She pulls the sheet off his body, carefully climbing onto the bed. He automatically moves his arms to the sides of her barrel as she moves on top of him. She looks him in the eye and says, “Doug, I accept your proposal.”

I think you missed the entire dinner scene because this just seems to be out of no where

you almost lost me but you brought me back with that granny smith fight good job

Yeah this story kind of requires quite a bit of suspension of disbelief starting out but if you can get past that the rest of the story is worth it.

Pretty big edit to chapter 1, minor edit to chapter 2. I feel like it's 800 words of Applejack bashing, mostly to set the mood and give a better reason to why she would consider things in later chapters. One of the themes is a bit of cultural misunderstanding and rushing things, so the quick progression is a little intended. But also because I hate drama. As for the lack of reaction between Doug and Applejack; I guess, maybe, that one or the other might freak out, but there are plenty of stories where that happens. But Applejack knows of lots of different sapient creatures, what's one more? And for Doug, I feel like we as humans have enough fiction regarding alternate dimensions or mythological creatures that the experience wouldn't be so jarring as to faint or lash out. Like I said, plenty of other stories where that happens. But, suggestions and comments are certainly appreciated!

I didn't want to make the lamp too bright.

well that is surprisingly suspenseful

I am gonna be upset if scoots sweetie belle and applebloom are gonna be reagular ponies instead of something that would make more sense like centaurs or satyrs

well good to see rainbows softer side

There don’t seem to be many, if any, human physical characteristics like hands instead of hooves.

and just like that I'm sad

cmc as foals snuggled up together that is adorable

over all i give your story a 7 out of ten mane reason lack of satyrs and centaurs coming from a human and pony geting together hell a anthro would make more sense then them having slightly weaker magic levels

it is possible that she is just so disenchanted by the Everfree from living so close to it for so many years that after ascertaining that he wasn't hostile she treated it like dealing with Pinkie :pinkiehappy: cause Pinkie :pinkiesmile: and you don't question Pinkie :pinkiecrazy:

makes sense when ya think about it. interesting approach here. most authors have the male either get all the mares without knowing and without hearing about the herd or hears about it and goes "huh, neat." before forming one with every available mare in town. make note that the first part meant not knowing he was winning over all the mares as well as not knowing about the herd. this one knows and is not actively trying to get all the mares.


Yup; I tried pretty hard to buck a lot of the conventions other fanfics use. I probably fail a lot too, but it happens.

....has this dude been nekkid the whole time?

It's more explicitly (see what I did there) stated later, but yes.

That ending put a smile on me.

Where's Applebloom?

You'll have to keep reading! She shows up, maybe sooner than you realize

Applejack gasps, “You did not just insult my hat! Ah'll have you know, that this hat is a traditional earth pony style that has been passed down for generations!”

This line reminded me of him

I want to bash this, but there's nothing that can be said that wouldn't apply to any of it's clones on this site. Dialogue, plot, pacing, cardboard human character...there's nothing here that stands out.

I read comments like this, and the worst part is, I think them myself! But I'm not sure exactly how to make it better, or what parts to improve. Like the cardboard character; he is open to new experiences, low key, who doesn't like things being unresolved, and this results in, by and large, a fairly unexciting (main) character. And, to a certain extent, a less exciting story, but I don't know if excitement (as in thrill or adventure) was my primary goal.

I can argue back and forth with myself (and I do, I constantly make minor edits), but what sort of things do you think could have been done better? Or, do you have a generally positive impression of most of the stories on this sight, and this fit along with them? (Only somewhat kidding)

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