Doug Graves
Joined 1st Apr, 2018 ·
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I was just about to say this story alreadys exists, and your stealing it. But never mind.
9859754
I wish my efforts were worth stealing! But my early quality is something that's irked me for a while now. It's not like I'm horribly disappointed with how the first run through went, but here's hoping this one goes... well, not smoothly, because that would be boring!
9859768
Welcome to being a writer. I know the feeling. My old stuff just isn't worth posting at all on the site.
Why are you rewriting this story?
9859908
Because I felt I've gotten better at writing and I want to try another shot at this storyline. I'm hoping to fix the major flaws in Year One, such as a lack of conflict and things working out too easily. Those would be much more than simple edits, so I feel a rewrite is necessary. Same with upping the maturity; sex has always been a big part of the series, but with it all happening elsewhere (or not depicted at all) I thought changing that for this would be a better choice.
Well he answered truthfully he didn't eat one, he ate three.
I hope Doug gets some cargo pants in this story. They are simply the best when you need to carry around many different things.
9859933
I need more keep up the good work.
Not a bad start.
9862211
Thanks!
I'm loving this all so far.
This getting me hyped (no rush).
Eh, one bad scene does not ruin a whole story, though. Just remember, don't just ask what would be funny, but what would be believable.
See this will be going perfect so far I mean story building ,world building the character is not all-knowing at all ,smart people acting emotionally . rational thought yet sometimes forgetful very close to real life .
Your characters have much more depth than others hopefully we can keep the trend going
Wow that was super akword you'd think he'd tell her that his world pony's where not sentient.
Well I think Applejack needs to chew out her friends over this. Then again Ponyville is not that welcoming of a town.
That was a really funny chapter.
This just keeps getting better I hope he and Rarity get together soon she deserves it.
I’m interested to see where this goes.
Really liking this story so far
That quote Doug used was beautifully used and to my memory done perfectly. I like how they are developing a more natural relationship. I wonder when part of his payment will become room and board? They have yet to meet Big Mac and I wonder how this will go in this universe.
I'm happy at list AI is helping him
They need to talk do they can find out the truth. I hope he'll be OK.
That was a beautiful chapter it hit deep.
This was awesome we got to learn a lot about both there world's.
SAPIENT.
Being capable of talking and understanding complex things like philosophy and morality is known as Sapience.
Sentience means that you're capable of existing and have senses, like fish and some plants.
9871109
If you're talking to the previous commenter, then I agree with your definitions; Doug's world's ponies are not sapient, they are only sentient.
Once we're talking about MLP animals, though... the existence of Fluttershy and many of the animals throws a wrench in that. Is Angel Bunny sapient? Owlowiscious? What if Fluttershy's ability to talk to animals isn't as unique as we might think? It might require tweaking of definitions, and that's exactly what caused the misunderstanding in the first place.
Should I read this version and ignore the original one?
9871334
They're capable of understanding morality and complex speech patterns, they show that they're capable of higher learning and when Angel and Fluttershy switch, he's fully capable of articulation in an alternate body, so I'd say that yes, most every creature is sapient in Equestria.
9871334
Also, I apologize if I seem like a dick, it's just that I'm very intense when it comes to grammar.
9871398
If you want to, I guess you could. Just treat them like stories that line up closely with each other? This version will line up with later years, mostly, so feel free to skip ahead before this section is complete.
9871474
Re: dickishness: I don't mind, and I welcome corrections! The problem, though, is what if Storied Pages use of the word is different than your own? Or when she says 'whorse', and Doug hears 'horse'?
This chapter was funny and adorable to read they are already cute together.
👌👌👌
Wow this ponies are nasty.
Up until now I really don't know how to feel about this fic. I mean Doug's cowardice is gross and he doesn't seem to be very smart so that's frustrating. What really get me is that this seems to be another fic were the human is like "OMG everything about Equestria is the best thing ever!" coupled with all of the passive aggressive human bashing makes me think eventually he's going to be turned into a pony. Also let's not forget how the story and the MC failed to mention how everyone except Fluttershy, Applejack the News filly and maybe Rarity all of the rest of the ponies have been straight-up douchebags.
This is beyond enjoyable I can't stop and I'm loving it .
9873850
First, thanks for the comments! Second, I disagree with everything you said!
Okay, on a more serious note: he's not going to turn into a pony. Applejack only saw his dick when it wasn't erect, and she (mainly) has her brother to compare him to. If he seems overly in awe or impressed, and less... observant, and not omniscient? Then that's true, and maybe it'll forestall the Mary Sue complaints for an extra chapter or two. For cowardice, if you're talking about running away from Rainbow, what would you have liked him to do? Shout at her and eat a lightning bolt to the face? Then the story would have been ~15k words and completed. If about him hiding from Granny's rant, he's going to prove he can do the work the only way that matters: doing the work.
Re: Ponies being dicks: some of them have given him a fair shake. Others have gone off misconceptions of what he did or is. Sadly, they, too, are not perfect.
Well hopefully Filthy Rich will take the seeds back. They have been left out after all. Hopefully Applejack will make some of the money back.
9871334
Is AJ pregnant 🤰?
9876118
No
They are getting cuter together each chapter.
Maybe it’s just me by the earlier chapters he said he’s a foot taller than ponies and by what the show shows us the height of which ponies are in enter the doors in about 2 feet over their head Or there about half as tall as the doorway yet he hast to duck down into doorways to get in it seems like his height isn’t always the same since the princesses can enter the same doorways without having to duck their heads .
9876637
Just seems to me it’s quite hard to guess how big the ponies are compared to him and body size I’m trying to visualize the story sorry if this is annoying
9876641
Np; I put Doug at 6ft tall; just above Princess Luna for height, not quite to Princess Celestia. Taller than the average pony by a good fifty percent. He ducks because the proportions are off, more so than actual necessity - their buildings aren't as big as he's used to.
Great just great. I hope Rarity will straighten this all out. I know she will probably give Doug a discount once she finds out the truth. Still these ponies are being highly xenophobic right now and I hope they get called out on it.
I sorry for him no one likes dirty racist cops .I hope he can find someone who can help him.
Yeah I got to admit ponyville is starting to behave very belligerently towards Doug even with the misunderstandings going on.
You know, half these misunderstandings would be fixed if he actually tried to explain it. I mean, seriously. All he'd have to say is, "I don't have hooves, so my people wear boots to pretect their feet." Boom, problem solved.
9878514
I gotta agree with you Doug really needs to stop and think, because right now he seems to be blindly reacting rather than thinking things through.
Also is Rarity a racist? Or is this some sort of rivalry and I am just overthinking things?