In this moment, the quantum wave form collapsed and the state of cognitive/noncognitive has become cognitive. The first questions that have gone through your mind (and, you realize, you now have a mind to have the questions go through) are simple.
Who am I?
Where am I?
Where is my digital watch?
Who are you? That, you have no answer for and hope to find one. You definitely suspect that little piece of information is very important and you need to know what it is, soon.
Where are you? That’s another very good question. With cognition has come perception, and there is nothing around you. There are six senses at your disposal (sight, sound, hearing, taste, touch, magic) and there is the absolute absence of anything that impinges upon your senses. This...worries you in a vague, disconnected sort of way. Something tells you that you should be more worried now, more scared, more trying to figure out what happens next.
“Oh,” a voice says, oddly familiar to your ears, but unable to properly place the memory, “on the whole digital watch front... Ponies probably won’t have the technology to make digital watches for...say, forty to fifty years. Less if a few foals get their Cutie Marks in electronic theory and practical application.”
The voice is coming from somewhere off to your left, so your perspective turns...to reveal a being made up of mis-matched body parts sitting in a nice red velvet chair beside you. The being (a draconequus, if your memory is right) is stroking his beard, and considers you. Or, at least the space you’re occupying. “My, my, Dusk Shine, you have gotten yourself into a mess, haven’t you?” he says, smiling.
“But, it would be rude for me to have this conversation without you being able to respond, so…,” and he snaps the fingers of his tiger paw hand, and there is the sudden sensation of form. Wings, legs, hooves, a tail, a horn, a nose, jaw, mouth, lips, and…voice. “My name...is Dusk Shine?”
“Oh dear,” the draconequus says, shaking his head. “Still dealing with the brain not being fully on, are we? Well, let’s get started-my name is Discord, and I’m here because you did your best to treat Fluttershy and her need to procreate with as much respect as possible. I’m helping you to assemble the memories of, oh…” he pulls out a gold pocket watch off a chain in a pocket that seems to appear from nowhere, “the last eighty-two minutes and eleven seconds. By the way, we’re between second eleven and twelve right now-and we’ll be here until we’re done.”
Something about that sounds wrong. Mostly...all of it. “How are we, well, here? And, what have you done with time?” you ask, trotting over to where Discord is.
“Well,” Discord ruminates, leaning back in his chair and interlacing his fingers behind his head. “You were partially right when you said I am limited in my interactions within this brane shell, and none other. I’m limited because those are the rules that I’ve previously agreed with...shall we call it or them “God” for lack of a better term. And, while God may play dice with the Universe, and throw the dice where you can’t see them, He doesn’t change the pips on the dice when He wants to.”
“Because they are the rules.”
“Exactly,” Discord smiles. “The rules for me are simple-only one of Me to a universe, and only one at a time. No sharing between various forms of Me, even when they’re…,” here, Discord shivers, “girl Me’s. And, no mucking about with the walls to reality, and no cheating. It’s not a bad deal-I get to create all the sweet and wonderful chaos here that I want, and another version of Me doesn’t get to come in and make things worse. I mean, there has to be a version of Me out there that just wants the blood and bodies and doesn’t yearn for what I need the most.”
“What do you need the most?” you ask curiously. This is...huge. It is the most you have ever learned about Discord (or Eris, or such) in years, and you wish it was possible to take more than mental notes.
“Isn’t it obvious, my little pony?” Discord smiles cheerfully, “I need an audience. After all, why play a joke if there’s nobody to laugh at it? And, on the whole time front, there are rules for me as well-no playing around with the order of event or causality, my entropic existence is consistent with yours. I may be able to skip between the seconds-but those seconds come for me, still. Anyways,” Discord snaps his fingers and a massive tub of popcorn appears. “Shall we watch the movie of eighty-two minutes of your life?”
He puts the tub of popcorn between him and a padded velvet cushion, perfectly sized for you to sit upon. It takes only a few steps for you to come over to the cushion, settle yourself onto it comfortably, and look at the silver screen in front of you. “Movies, Discord?”
“Oh yes, home movies indeed,” Discord smiles. He takes a scoop of the popcorn and you hesitantly grab one in turn. The popcorn is not too bad-a bit salty for your taste, but not too much.
The sourceless light that had been illuminating this…(Space? Consensual hallucination?)...starts to go down, and the whirring of a film projector begins. Stirring comedic music starts to come from the speakers, and Discord has hit you with another little joke.
After all, have not the last few hours been entirely comedic?
Your escape from Fluttershy took a good part of the afternoon, and rather than deal with hormone-crazed mares...you cheated. A lot.
Two teleportations put you onto the roof of City Hall, where you carefully hid for a few minutes to catch your metaphysical breath. A quick observation shows that--at this distance--Ponyville would look utterly normal if the genders of the ponies you are observing were flipped. Except for...well, except for the fact that some of the mares seem to be organizing into hunting packs. Polyamory in pony relationships is not uncommon, and it seems that a few of the mares are of the following opinion: “let us snag the Prince together, that way we can pile on him with hugs.” This is a disturbing development and one that has both benefits and problems to it.
The benefits are simple, of course. If the mares start to self-herd themselves, it will be easier to avoid the larger groups. They will not be able to hide as easily (you suspect that somepony is just going to start laying out traps at some point) and there is always the possibility of causing internal problems by playing Centipede’s Dilemma with who gets to pony the Prince first.
The disadvantages are obvious as well--you would always be out-numbered (but never overpowered unless there were at least fifteen or more of the more powerful unicorns in town). And, more eyes means that if just one amorous individual sees you...the herds will come. And come after you hard. You might not be able to stop them without hurting them.
The shivering feeling that you have is from the cold wind up here. Not the knowledge that your arrival here is like dropping a seed crystal into a super-saturated solution of lust and somewhat frustrated mares. And, some of the most frustrated...are your nominal “friends”.
You feel a lot of sympathy for Twilight Sparkle right now. Not just because of how her situation might be, but how she must be when she is back here with her friends. Is she just as frustrated...just...not having an outlet? You hope that your friends back home are treating her well-and not spooking the pony out of her.
Time to keep moving. Another teleportation blink, this time to the belltower for the school. You have line of sight to the Carousel Boutique, and -- being the knowledgeable alicorn that you are -- one or two spells that let you view objects at a distance. Activating them, you can see that the door to the Boutique is closed and there is a sign. Big sign, big letters, too...SORRY, OUT OF DRESSES UNTIL AFTER THE FESTIVAL!...in Rarity’s elegant fieldwriting. A few mares shuffle up to the door, then they look at the sign in frustration. One knocks on the door, and you can see Rarity looking happy-if a bit haggard-answer the door. There is clear disappointment in the mutual body language--the mare for not getting the dress, Rarity for not making the sale. The group then leaves, and Rarity closes her door.
You really, really hope that Rarity has her secret entrance in the same place as Elusive.
Two more teleportation blinks, and you are now on the opposite side of the Carousel Boutique, quickly spotting Rarity through the nearest window. She is totalling up her receipts and considering her day today, a pot of tea nearby. It is nostalgic-looking, as you can recall when you first met Elusive and subsequently sharing tea together. A quick, final teleportation blink, and you are at the secret entrance to the Boutique.
Elusive explained why he had a secret entrance to his store, a long time ago. “Because, dear,” he said, measuring you for a costume to wear at the Grand Galloping Gala, “I have some customers that must be discrete. They wish to surprise their loved ones, or they are buying something a touch embarrassing. Something naughty, or erotic, or just they don’t think they can ever look good wearing something. So, to aid them in keeping their secrets, I offer a way to enter and exit without anypony knowing.”
You’re counting bricks, and knock on one specific brick. It sounds oddly hollow, and you can hear a female voice with a unique accent on the other side, “Who is it, darling?”
“Rarity,” you say just loud enough to be heard, “I am Dusk Shine, may I come in?”
A pause, then you can hear, “Just a second, dear.” The secret door opens quickly, and you trot in, the door closing behind you. As you step in, a mare says, “Oh, my, you are Dusk Shine.”
You turn to see the white unicorn mare in front of you. She is definitely pretty in a very fashionable sort of way, well-groomed, with her purple mane at just the perfect length for her muzzle. She is smiling, and leads you in with a polite, “Come, come in, Dusk Shine. Tea?”
The interior of the shop is laid out in the same manner as the one Elusive has-a large central area surrounded by dummies and clothing racks. Unlike the Carousel Boutique back home, this one does not look like an explosion in a fabric factory (as Rainbow Blitz so pithily commented once). It does, however, look like there has been a rush on business. The racks are devoid of dresses, small piles of broken ribbons and bows hide in the corners, and there is a general sense that fashionable parasprites have come through here today.
Rarity uses her magic to close the curtains and smiles at you. “My dear, you look haggard,” she says, picking up her tea pot with her magic and hearing that it is nearly empty. Rarity does look a little worn-out as well--but, happy, as she has evidently been doing a lot of sales today. “Sit, sit, and talk as I make another pot.”
You were almost imagining (dreading?) that you would come in after a few minutes to hear soft music and rose petals leading up the stairs to the bedroom. Candles on the steps, giving off a heady aroma of beeswax and lavender. The door would open and Rarity would be lying in her bed, the room bursting to brim with even more candles. The finest of satin sheets under the most expensive and exclusive lingerie from Prance and…
Stop that!
You drag your wings back into normal form, and the little traitor chuckles as your imagination matches what it has been thinking. Minus the lingerie and the romance...but the emotion was there. And the idea, and the thought…
Stop that, you think. Elusive may play the part when he is dealing with customers, but he exclusively is into mares. At least, nopony will admit otherwise, you have to add as a disclaimer. Rarity is into stallions, and she is probably just as much a flirt as Elusive is. If a bit more...rubenesque…
You shake your head to keep your thoughts in the proper order. You need a new jacket for tomorrow’s festival, and if Rarity cannot provide one...you hope she can make one. The problem, you suspect, is that she is ready to provide Twilight Sparkle with a dress and she might not have a jacket in your size or dealing with wings or…
“Sorry, darling,” Rarity interrupts your thoughts, “I thought I had some of the Earl Grey, but I was out. The shame of it! I do hope that you like blended teas, as I have an absolutely lovely pot of Opus Rouge Rooibos here…” With deft use of her magic field, she pours two delicate cups of bone-white china and puts one of them in front of you. She takes a sip and smiles. “Perfect. You look...distracted, darling. What’s on your mind?”
You look at Rarity, take a sip of the tea, and sigh. It truly is good tea, the raspberry and chocolate blend working superbly, and you can feel the warmth calming your nerves. “I am having deja vu,” you reply and take another sip with Rarity. “I would be in the same place with Elusive, the version of you back where I come from, and probably having the same discussion. But, today...it has been insane. And, now I can sympathize with mares and Prince Bolero…”
“Prince Bolero?” Rarity interrupts gently.
“Prince of Love,” you explain. “My sister, Gleaming Shield, is his wife. Regardless...I was worried that my friends would scream ‘really bad changeling!’ about me, but they have not. However, what is happening to me is worse. Rainbow Dash...she just offered to…,” your voice trails off for a bit.
“Scone?”
“Yes, thank you,” and you nibble on the procured pastry. “Rainbow Dash just offered to pony me right then and there. I admit, I ran like a…,” your voice trails off again.
“I would say in all fairness that ‘scared little mare’ is a very accurate way of putting it,” Rarity said, nibbling on her scone. “Then, if I remember what Twilight told me were her plans for today, you went to Applejack. How did that go?”
“It went well...up until the part where I was too honest,” you say, taking another gulp of the tea. This is really good tea, you are feeling a lot more relaxed and calm about what has been going on. And, Rarity is listening, which makes you feel much better. “I...did not explain myself as well as I should have. My fears, you see...I do not, can not, and will not leave a foal of mine behind if I were to vanish tomorrow. It would be unfair to everypony involved, and…”
“And what, dear?” Rarity asks in a kind, soft voice.
“I remember,” you say, your voice cracking a bit, “is...Cadence, yes?”
“Yes, Cadence is the Princess of Love here,” Rarity nods.
“Was Cadence an orphan?”
“Yes,” Rarity said, and set down her tea cup. “Her parents died when she was very young, then soon after she Ascended...and her Cutie Mark appeared. She lived with Twilight Sparkle’s family, and they would have adopted her if they could, but Princess Celestia…”
“Prince Helios,” you continue with her, “had to weigh politics and the needs of one orphan foal. He...Bolero, was officially a ward of the Throne...always considered my family to be his family, joked that he could not marry Gleaming Shield because that would be incest…”
Until that one night, after a disastrous date with a mare that was ready to become his consort. Until that one night, when Gleaming Shield had just waited for him. You can still remember what Prince Bolero had said, crying into her mane. This...this is what love is, isn’t it?
“He was always so alone,” your voice says, considering. “Even when he was at home, it was like…”
“More tea?”
“Thank you,” you reply, and take another calming sip of tea. “He was always alone. No real family. Nopony that was Mom or Dad, my parents tried to fill in as much as they could, but it was not the same. No pony deserves that, Bolero did not deserve that. I promised myself that any foal of mine would not be a bastard-they would have parents, even if I had to break out of Tartarus to give them at least one.”
Rarity looks at you, and you can just about make out a watery glint in her eyes. “You...are a very, very noble pony, Dusk Shine. And, I don’t mean your title. So many stallions have titles, but you are just noble. Of course, Twilight Sparkle is a very noble pony, and I wish she realized that.”
This is great tea, it is making you feel very relaxed and calm. “From what I can see of her friends, I can fully agree. When they are not chasing me across the fields wanting to mate with me by any means possible.”
“Oh dear,” Rarity sighed, refilling your cup. “Fluttershy is a dear, sweet mare. But when her dam of fears breaks...she washes everything away. So, I assume you are here for an outfit for tomorrow. Fortunately for all of us, I do have several jackets that might fit and are the right color. Shall we try some on?”
You take your cup of tea to the middle of the room, where Rarity starts to take measurements. “Enjoying your tea, darling?”
“Yes, very much so,” you reply, and take another sip. It truly is great tea, and you feel so relaxed and calm, and...sleepy? “Rarity, what did you put in this tea?” you ask, more curious than anything else.
“Oh, just Opus Rouge Rooibos,” she says, carefully catching your fluttering teacup in her magic field. “Well, I did add some of the roots that Zecora recommended whenever I needed help sleeping, in enough quantities to help me fall asleep in a few minutes.”
“Um…,” you feel like there should be something wrong here, but you are too sleepy to make any sense of this. You start to sag to your knees, wanting nothing more than to rest. “Why did you give me those roots? And, why are you not sleepy?”
“Oh, I didn’t have any of the tea, dear. Old trick I learned when I was at some of the most boring parties-shallow fill your cup, appear to sip, and appear to refill when you need to keep some absolute boor from bothering you,” Rarity comments brightly. “And, as to why I gave you the roots...I am Generosity incarnate, darling. I would have no problem sharing you with our friends. Or establishing a polygamous relationship with our fellow Element bearers. Especially Applejack, she is a darling and should dress up more often. I only just want to be first with you, dear.”
“First,” you murmur, your wings fluttering open a bit. “You want to…”
“Oh, not just take you like some rutting pegasus...well, perhaps later, when all the proper forms have been handled,” Rarity smiles, and takes a few more measurements. “I am merely, and efficiently, eliminating all of the hemming and hawing and other arguments that would take days to resolve. We do have only an hour and a half before you meet Pinkie Pie, and who knows what might happen then? Of course, I do have to keep you from getting away until we’re both ready. A call to the Mayor to marry us...we can do a more formal ceremony later. I have this utterly lovely wedding dress...perhaps I should wear it when she gets here. I won’t be the first mare to waddle up to the altar pregnant, but I do agree...we should be a bit more formal about this.”
From one of her cabinets comes a whole lot of soft-looking white rope and a black-and-gold ring that you know is a magic-suppression ring for unicorns. Rarity slips the ring over your horn and carefully lowers your unresisting body to the ground. “I knew that my college-era career as a dominatrix would come in handy at some point,” Rarity giggles as she sorts through the ropes. “Oh, nothing too fancy, dear--I can do some of the most beautiful and elegant shibari rope bondage postures that you have ever seen--but time is short and I would like to get myself properly dressed for when the Mayor makes it over here.”
Rarity moves quickly and starts to wrap you up in some of the most elegant of white cotton ropes, to bind and secure your body. Her technique is nearly perfect, and from how the ropes have been tied, you could remain secured-and unable to escape-from this bondage for hours without your magic. In the process, she brushes up against your body in some very...sensual ways that make your little traitor stand up and salute. Rarity looks at your unresisting body and smiles, saying, “It is bad form for a stallion to deflower a mare prior to the wedding, and I will assume the reverse is the same. Regardless, we will have plenty of time later to enjoy…”
Once she has you firmly tied up, Rarity goes to all the doors of the Boutique and makes sure that they are locked and chained shut. “Wouldn’t want you disturbed during your nap, darling,” she giggles, making sure that your head is laying on a soft pillow. She smiles at your unresisting body, and starts to trot upstairs.
With a whip-popping crackle of the end of the film reel, the movie ends. You sit there, looking at the white-lit screen and then at Discord. “She…,” you say, not sure what else to say.
“I do ask that you forgive her,” Discord says. “She has found every dream she has ever wanted--a good friend, a stallion worthy of the name, a Prince--and she will not let those dreams go without a fight. And, you do have to admit, she did pull together a good plan in a very short period of time.”
“But, what she did…,” you manage to grind out, starting to get angry.
“And, mind you, I would love to see the sweet chaos caused by your angry response,” Discord continues, “Fluttershy would be very unhappy to have to attend Rarity’s funeral, and I would not make her unhappy.”
You have to pause a bit at that statement. “You really do like her,” you say to Discord, and raise an eyebrow. “You would never admit it, but you do.”
“Oh, I’ll admit to it, and I’ll even do so here and now, as there is absolutely nobody here but you and me and my rubber duckie,” and he squeaks a rubber duck that he just pulled from behind his back. “After all, no witnesses and I’ll deny it if anybody asks. But, now we have a very upcoming issue. Namely, we’re between seconds eleven and twelve...and second number twelve is coming up very, very shortly…”
There is this odd, odd mechanical sound...like the drawn out ticking sound of a second hand. “We have only a few moments left, a few shakes--both of the lamb’s tail and of the smallest unit of possible measurement--before the clock strikes twelve and you recover consciousness. You’re recovering much faster and much more completely than Rarity expects. Just remember the following three things…”
“Wait just a second,” you try to interrupt, but Discord shushes you.
“No more time left! First, the magic suppression ring on your horn was made for unicorns, not alicorns. Two, Rarity needs to be forgiven, and once you give her a good scare, forgive her. And, third--and most importantly--Pinkie Pie will be right about everything but one thing, and you’ll know what it is when you hear it,” Discord interrupts, holding up a comically sized stopwatch.
“I just wanted to say…,” you try to interrupt again, but Discord puts one of his fingers on your lips.
“You’re welcome, I know. And, you are one of the best sources of chaos I’ve had in years, so I’ve got to like you a bit,” Discord smiles. “And, in about twenty seconds, you’ll be awake...and in ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one...you’ve got your wake-up call.”
Dusk Shine opened up his eyes, and gave his head a good shake. “Sub-optimal,” he muttered. “What might be worse than taunting the Happy Fun Chaos Deity? Having one owe you a favor.”
Around his horn, Dusk could feel the magic-warping and dampening effects of a magical suppression ring. However, he could still feel faint threads of magic, and with a bit of concentration...the ring twisted, and shuddered, but it slowly floated off of his horn entirely. Then it immediately shot up through the air, and Dusk telekinetically caught it before it hit something and alerted somepony nearby. His head turned and the ropes began to glow as he undid the knots and untied himself.
From upstairs, Dusk Shine could softly hear Rarity in her boudoir, singing to herself. It took a few sweaty and tension-filled minutes, but he managed to undo all the ropes. Once freed, he began to coil and replace the ropes in the hiding place that Rarity had taken them from. That done, all that remained was to make a stealthy exit. Dusk turned towards the door, only to hear, “Oh, darling, I hope you’re still resting…,” coming up from the top of the stairs.
Dusk Shine swivelled back, to see Rarity in a heart-stopping dress of white silk and purple lace, a small veil covering her face, her makeup perfectly done… She was beautiful, a ready and willing bride to reach the altar. He had to stop and remember for a second that this mare had drugged him and planned to do…, “Rarity, do you know what you just attempted to do?”
“I…,” Rarity said, looking away and confused. “I thought...that if you saw me, that if you saw me ready, willing, and able and wanting to be with you…,” her eyes welling up with tears. “You were so scared that any pony that wanted you wanted just a simple rutting and a bastard foal.”
“Rarity,” Dusk Shine said forcefully, “you very nearly committed several major crimes. All of them on a Prince of Equestria, which increases the penalties. The sort of crimes that if we were in my world, they would execute you if convicted! You do realize that, do you not?”
Rarity looked at Dusk, and then she broke out in tears. “I know, I know,” she said through her running makeup, “but...I have dreamed of the day when I could marry a Prince. Somebody noble and true and honest, and you are that stallion, Dusk Shine. I was so desperate I didn’t know what I was doing!”
“Rarity!” Dusk nearly yelled, his wings extended to their fullest, making him look bigger than he actually was.. The essence of magic in his voice caused everything in the Boutique to rattle. “You did know what you were doing. Admit to that, at least!”
Rarity lowered her head, dark mascara-ladened tears to drip to the carpet. “I did, and I was wrong. I wanted to make you happy, Dusk Shine. You deserve to be happy, and I wanted to give you that happiness.”
Dusk took a long, deep breath, pulled his wings back down and allowed the magic field to dissipate from his horn. His eyes looked at Rarity, and he sighed. “Rarity, I am very unhappy with you right now. Mostly because I am unhappy with myself. This…,” and he waggled one of his wings at the whole room, somehow including all of Ponyville with the gesture, “this...situation, this circumstance, this...event has had me off-balance all day. I do not know how I should be responding--and, I forgive you for not knowing how to react as well.”
Rarity looked up slightly, and nodded carefully.
“Since I know how delicate that dress has to be,” Dusk Shine said in a tightly controlled voice, “if you could put it carefully away and give me your word that you will be the lady that you dream of for your Prince...I can forgive you.”
Rarity’s eyes lit up, and she nodded again. “I promise you, Dusk Shine, that I will be a perfect lady. Give me a few minutes to put the dress away and I will help you find the perfect jacket.”
As she trotted up the stairs, Dusk had to admire just how...beautiful Rarity was in her dress. Maybe she is right, he thought. I have to seriously consider what my options will be if I am going to be stuck here. And, to get there, I will have to ask the advice of all my friends. However it ends up and however it ends.
Dusk carefully climbed onto Rarity’s fainting couch, and waited. There was the sound of a shower, and a few minutes later Rarity returned to the downstairs floor. She was clean of makeup, and had only done a simple brushing of her mane and tail. Dusk nodded and said, “Shall we find that jacket?”
“It’s more like I already know which jacket would work,” Rarity replied. Her magic field sorted through the few stallion’s jackets she had, and she pulled out a dark purple vest. “It needs to be adjusted for wings, but I can do that.” She held up her note-pad in her magic. “I did honestly take measurements of you, darling. If you come back tomorrow morning, I promise that it will be perfect for you.”
“Thank you,” Dusk smiled. “I will be back tomorrow morning, before the start of the Festival.”
“One second,” Rarity said, and she trotted over to where the secret door was. She looked out through a peephole, checking the alley behind the Boutique, “Clear of mares, and if you want my advice, Sugarcube Corner is more easily reachable by the rooftops than the street.”
“What I have been doing since this afternoon,” Dusk nodded. “I will see you in the morning.”
“And, thank you for being a gentlestallion, Dusk Shine,” Rarity said softly. “Despite what I did.”
“You are welcome,” Dusk Shine smiled a bit, and escaped out the secret door. Rarity closed it behind him, and sighed very softly. She took the vest and walked over to the sewing table, laying out the vest and making some markings in chalk on the jacket.
“Stupid pony,” Rarity muttered to herself. “You almost could have had him, but you tried to reach too far! But…,” she mused, and picked up scissors to make the first cuts. “He did forgive me, so hope is not lost. He can be mine still...”
The sewing machine made a low, soft puttering sound as Rarity started to sew the wingholes for the jacket. “Next time...I will trust my instincts. And, I will be first.”
Dusk Shine dodged a hunting pack of mares as he carefully traveled the streets of Ponyville. He considered his situation, and knew exactly what to do next.
He teleported, and found himself on a rooftop, a few blocks away from Sugarcube Corner. The roof allowed him to sit down and think for a few minutes, which he did.
Sub-optimal, highly sub-optimal! Dusk Shine thought. Rarity was willing to do all that, risk that I might have just...just completely lost my temper with her and demanded justice for a chance with me! And, the idea that we might consider some sort of polygamous relationship that would solve all the problems…
Dusk paused for a moment, and his imagination chose to work with the little traitor for a minute. The idea of having Rainbow Dash happily chase each other through the skies. The concept of hearth and home with Applejack. The warmth of Fluttershy curled up with him on a cold winter’s night. The dream of fashionable Rarity being his guide and confidant in the world of politics and culture that still seemed to elude him. And…
And...the little voice in his head. A tiny little foal’s voice saying his first words.
“Daddy?”
Dusk Shine looked at the sky and found the Sun, checking the time. Two hours or so until nightfall. Highly sub-optimal, he sighed to himself. These sorts of daydreams and fantasies are not what matters. I should finish my tasks, to help out Twilight Sparkle. Complete the last one with Pinkie Pie, then go back to the library and barricade everything that opens to the outside. Hopefully, I can wake up from this...nightmare tomorrow morning. My friends and I have a laugh at the confusion. Hopefully, Twilight Sparkle has not done anything that would require me to explain what happened. And…
“And,” Dusk whispered to himself, “that very enigmatic warning from Discord. ‘Pinkie Pie will be right about everything but one thing, and you’ll know what it is when you hear it.’”
“What does he mean?”
I would personally like to think that Discord is Loke´s estranged Equestrian Son. One he got after a heavy night of drinking.
But being the responsible god of lies he is, he raise up this little ball of chaos, and grant him an entire world on the World Tree....
Because why not?
Anyhow, I must say, I laughed a lot during this chapter, and it was really amazing.
... Second person narrative... Eww.
5247848 Sadly necessary to get the right narrative flow going. But, written well enough that you had to comment on it...
5247839 I deny no possibilities of his parentage. Or, like the Joker, his origins are multiple choice...
Great chapter. Wow. I wonder then what Discord is planning. I mean he did tell Dusk to forgive Rarity, but Rarity is now hatching a plan. I wonder how everything is going to react when all the elements try to start an orgy with him. Good luck with the next chapter. It was great to see this update.
5247862 Sorry but there's three things I absolutely can't stand when it comes to fanfics.
1. Second person narrative.
2. Obvious self-inserts.
3. Characters named Anon. (Word filters do help a lot with this one though, much recommended)
That was a bit confusing. He needs to hurry up and get out of here.
The biggest advantage you have when everyone thinks all the words coming out of your mouth have a hidden meaning? They'll never expect you to actually say what you mean.
Another enjoyable chapter. Keep them coming!
Something tells me that out of all the mane five of Twilight's friends, Pinkie will be the most sensible out of all of them...
Or into mares.
Okay, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?!?!? You have a great first few chapters, and then you change the perspective to second person! I'm officially done with this.
I wonder, did you collaborate with Taranth on this chapter? Since this fic has now surpassed One of Those Days in the timeline, I was wondering (and now, somewhat dreading) about Twilight's encounter with Elusive. When Discord told Dusk about what Pinkie was going to say, I immediately though that OoTD had updated to the point that Twilight met Bubble Berry and had a conversation that would be exactly the same except for one thing. That one thing would be the tip off for a reader of both stories to know what Dusk should pick up on (and would be an excellent way for Discord and Pinkie/Bubble to lean on the fourth wall while still being properly within the narrative).
Alas, that is not the case. I understand there will be differences in events due to the nature of the reversed gender ratios and roles, but so far the overall narrative of both stories are following the same paths, more or less. I was just wondering if you two are working together on this project, or if you are working alone, hoping that OoTD happens to have Twilight's encounter with Elusive go anywhere near the same direction as Dusk's with Rarity.
Hmmm... I personally think that long imprisonment and hard labor or lifetime exile are more likely punishments given what Equestria is like. Execution doesn't sound like their style at all.
Other than that, good chapter.
I'm quite looking forward to the meeting with Pinkie. Not all that many authors write her without exaggerating her personality and "abilities" to the point that it just isn't funny anymore. And don't even get me started on the people that insist on having Pinkie break the Fourth Wall...
Phew. That's good. I tend to absolutely despise the "Discord is God/Q/Omnipotent" thing.
5248074
If you haven't noticed, there has been an escalation of the actions. Rainbow propositioned him, Applejack proposed to him, Fluttershy chased him and Rarity kidnapped him. I say Pinkie will be the worst yet.
I'm going to say, this is the best chapter yet. Rarity's conversation with Dusk was very well-thought and, out of all the mares, she has shown herself to be the craftiest by tricking Dusk and planning a polygamous relationship to deal with his insecurities. The twist about Rarity being a dominatrix, and during college at that, is well-known but I'm surprised that you put it in this story. BTW, great job by thinking of the hidden entrance to the Boutique. I got a final question. What did Dusk meant by Elusive "playing the part" to his customers? Does that means that he flirts with his clients (who I'm assuming are mostly male with the female ones that he definitely flirts) and that Rarity does the same with her clients (even the female ones despite her preference for males)? Also, is Elusive a male dominatrix? Anyhow, this chapter was amazing and I hope that the Elusive chapter appear soon, so we can meet Pinkie.
5248149 The punishment would be ramped up because it was happening to royalty. And, Dusk Shine would be asking for the most merciful of penalties.
And, I'm not a fan of the Discord=Q/God thing, either. He's powerful but there are rules.
Pinkie Pie doesn't break the fourth wall, she makes sweet sweet love to it...
5248146 No collaboration, I suspect this is where our stories branch off more severely. But, I can't see Elusive doing what Rarity does.
Rarity, after all, is a lady.
5248126 This was one of the two things I was expecting to be most disliked about in this chapter. And, I hold my ground in writing in second person perspective for narrative reasons. We needed to be thrown for a loop, and any other way of being thrown for a loop wasn't quite going to work...
For what it's worth, it's the only instance of second person in this story. Unless I need more chaos.
5248000 Amazing how that works, doesn't it? Or to paraphrase a Terry Pratchett quote, people that move in circles don't know what to expect when they run into somebody that moves in a straight line.
Dusk, YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER THAN TO GO TO RARITY'S!
I forgot to ask something, what did Rarity meant as a career as a dominatrix?
5248176 Elusive plays up the Always Camp stereotype when dealing with customers because they sort of expect it...
That, and the whole accent created from whole cloth....almost Pranch sounding, but not quite...
Rarity being a Domme during her college years was one of those things that when I started to write her...connected. And connected in ways that made so much sense.
5248174 Never forget, I can always throw in any form of Plot Twist and have it work because it's Pinkie Pie...
5248209 But...it was on the list. You can't skip things that are on the list, chaos happens because of that!!!
5248222 She worked as one (outcall entirely) when she was in college to make spending money. After college...she might have had a few clients that she kept in touch with. Entirely because she enjoyed their company and not their money, mind you...
5247839
I believe that it's spelled Loki, not Loke. Of course, if you're writing in Mandarin, it might be Lo Kei, or if you're standing on an island in the Caribbean Sea and you have seawater up around your ankles it might be Low Cay. Should I continue? LOL.
5248255 After the whole Fluttershy thing I would have been 'Buck this!' raise red flag. And even if going, NEVER DRINK THE TEA, Come on this is Rarity we are talking about. She can and will be sneaky. THe ONLY way this can get worse id if he had to run from the sisters too.
5248291
No, Because it is Loke.
Why do I know that?
I am a Dane... Thats how its spelled in my language, and It is the pantheon of my Ancestors after all
Loki is an Old Norse Spelling, but I am saying the more modern rendition of the word.
I do understand the humor though :P
5248413
I did not know that. Looks like a case of Dane if I do and Dane if I don't...
5248448
Oh you have some Sweede Puns!
I couldnt help myself
I liked everything except "sub-optimal".
Seriously, that fucking phrase should be taken out and shot.
It was sort of funny the first time-a way in which you can showed that Dusk Shine is not, in fact, simply Twilight with a penis-but then you turned it into a running gag. You turned it into a catchphrase.
And you kept using it. Over and over and over and over.
For fuck's sake, man (or woman) you've used it four times in this chapter alone!
It's become a parody of itself!
5248458
Next you'll accuse me of speaking in Norse Code.
5248474
I would come up with some clever pun to add to the line, but my brain just wont give me anything clever...
I should Raid a punvault... Where the Hel is my axe?
5248474
5248458
I'm disappointed in both of you.
5248501
Good thing you're using an axe. Using a hammer might make you Thor.
5248559
Why? Puns are not as low a form of humor as one might believe. After all... even Shakespeare used them.
5248559
Why? Dont like Puns?
5248566
No, that would only be if I tried to wield Mjølner... But then again, I´d need his belt to even try...
I will just go with an Axe and a Sword, that should help!
5248582
That might be best. It would give your response just the right edge.
5248592
Are you sure you´re not using a hammer or something? Because you´re cracking me up.
5248613
No... I'm using a new type of computer virus. It's called Maul-ware
5248581
5248582
I guess I just haven't taken a viking to your jokes yet.
5248637
Let me guess... you like driving a fjord, right?
5248648 Whenever I'm not runeing from place to place.
5248656
Ah... a man of letters!
5248664 And cells. Those too.
5248666
Now I'm confused... you're either a biologist, a warden or an animator.
5248629
It seems you got the thing down to the Blot.
5248637
Well I am just glad you´re not Thore.
5248702
Yes... I'm ready to go all Rorschach at this point.
5248669 Physicist actually.
5248713
This is incredibly distracting. I should be wrighting about now.
5248727 Does that make you an aircraft designer?
5248718 Hopefully your first name isn't Lance.
At any rate... I've got places to go, people to see, puns to foist. Thanks for the challenge. Ciao! (It's dinner time.)
5248742
Have a nice day Sir! or Madam!
5248126 Here's an ice pack for that horrible (yet hilarious) case of butthurt you seem to be afflicted with.
Is time linear?For Discord to predict the future so accurately it would have to be.Is Discord seeing the future or getting messages from his future self?And yeah if you consider Equestria girls(Twilight forgave mass mind control and attempted invasion)then him forgiving Rarity for attempted rape is quite possible.Rarity reverting to the rape mindset is quite annoying though since the entire premise of the show is to learn lessons and this encounter would serve as a valuable lesson on consensuality.
5249092 I think Discord can see the current timeline up until the next branching, since he was at such a branching he could see both timelines and therefore advise dusk on what would be the best course of action.
Yikes, Rarity. Also not sure what I think about execution being on the list as a possible punishment, even if it's very unlikely to hit Rarity it still seems way out of place in Equestria. Entirely headcanon, though, so ehh.