• Member Since 26th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 26th, 2020


Put the cart before the horse, mix things up, and look at them in a different way.


Twilight Sparkle punctures her spinal column, rendering her a quadriplegic. Now, she must cope with the minor inconvenience of being disabled.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 37 )

This is terribly insensitive. Have a like.

Paralyzed ponies! handicapped humans are hilarious all on their own, but add pones and this is comedy gold, my friend.

What the actual...?
Dammit, Carts. :facehoof:
Have a like.

Heh, nice! I also found the "Walk in wheelchair rental" ad on this page to be slighty ironic.

All hail the Unicorn master race.

Comment posted by The Communist CosmoCat deleted Jun 29th, 2014

Magic bitches!

Is it odd that I found both stories kinda funny?

4614852 Eh, not really. I mean, the contrast itself is funny. :pinkiehappy:

Fun fact: your stomach can, in fact, rumble if you're paralyzed. Your stomach makes a rumbling sound when it's trying to digest something, but there's only air. So as long as you can digest, your stomach can rumble.

payed for by the NRA

On Twilight. :twilightsheepish:
You're such a silly filly. :facehoof:

:rainbowlaugh: Beautiful.

This is precisely what went through my head in the weeks following my injury. "If I was a unicorn, I wouldn't even notice it." Teleportation/Telekinesis OP. Of course, I wanted both of those things just as much before as after. :trollestia:

4614681 yus :trixieshiftleft:

God, this is so inconsiderate it hurts.
I probably shouldn't like it, but I do.

To me, the bits with the NRA, health care and 9/11 just feel out of place in this story. But then you did this:

Thanks, Celestia!

and made up for it by having me laugh my ass off at 2am.

Well played sir:moustache: you have earned my like.

The introduction didn't work for me, and the whole NRA thing was like "What?!". Anyway, kind of funny with the choice of spells there. I think you could probably write a decent (read: better) story with the same basic plot about Twilight trying out various spells to restore some measure of normalcy, but you'd have to drop the random tag. For giggles, you can always pull the alicorn trump card at the end and declare that alicorns always heal any injury given enough time and basically make fun of Twilight Sparkle's ignorance of that fact.

Can't tell if political bits purely for comedy or making statement.

Hilarious story though.

Funny, but the political bits are very jarring.

What do you mean magic can't cure this? That's the answer for everything.

People are saying that this is insensitive and inconsiderate, but I just don't give a fuck. It's not my life, why should I god damn care? Everyone always says to mind your own business, so I do just that.
If everyone who was paralyzed from the neck down or midrift down had magic, it would be just like this... unless they were stupid, then nevermind.

4616156 It basically did. As she said: 'I didn't even notice'. And really, a little bit of improv and it's hardly noticeable. :twilightsheepish:

Unicorns OP, Hasbro plz nerf

Just ask Batman how to deal with it.

Mind over matter!

I take it this is a parody answer to that other disability fanfic that popped up recently, which I presume was a more serious take on the matter. ...What's interesting is that both of these ended up in the Popular Stories sidebar...

4618194 I actually wrote both stories myself to present a wildly different take on the same plot.

Twilight will burn out her horn if she is going to rellay on magic 24/7
Got to hope she moves into the castle soon.

Unicorns. What will they do without their magic?

i don´t like it that they talked about hasbro and well it is not even funny for me, but that is maybe just me so i won´t vote for it down, but not up too.

4662442 Sorry to hear that you didn't like it, but thanks for reading anyway :pinkiesad2:

It was a decent read until I hit this line:
"Gosh, Tirek destroying Twilight's Library. That was, like, the 9/11 of My Little Pony."
Honestly it pulled me 210% out of the story. It looks like you just left in a Beta's comment accidentally. Really unpolished. After that I had a lot of trouble getting back into it.

4709688 Sorry, I tend to do that in my stories sometimes :twilightblush:

The rainbow dash version was ok to read.
I didnt like this one cause it made no sense.

Its basically the same damn thing except its twilight and slightly altered. Not impressed.

You could do alot better than that mate.
No offense.

5345306 Yeah I readily admit that this story is far, far, far from my best work. I must have been out of my mind when I thought it was a good idea to post it. :facehoof:

5345779 Either you were drunk or you were high on drugs.

I doubt it was either. But still. Yout readers expect more than this to be better.
But interesting how it has 100+ likes.

5346930 What is popular is not always good, and what is good is not always popular.

Advert below story is for the American Red Cross.

Well, you weren't kidding:
Same plot, but still totally different.

Gosh, Tirek destroying Twilight's Library. That was, like, the 9/11 of My Little Pony.

How many downvotes would I get when I would mention the following opinion:
"The 9/11 of My Little Pony was Twilight's ascension to alicornhood."

(No downvote necessary. Simply answering is sufficient.)

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