Equestria's Finest News Source.
Breaking news stories from Equestria written in the style of The Onion.
Want more satirical MLP news stories? Visit The Ponion's sister site,
The Foal Free Press, by Alex Nuage
Chapters (13)
- Member Since 26th Dec, 2012
- offline last seen Feb 26th, 2020
CartsBeforeHorses
Put the cart before the horse, mix things up, and look at them in a different way.
CartsBeforeHorses
Joined 26th Dec, 2012 ·
Offline
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Brilliance, sir(s) and/or madam(s). You have made my unreasonably timed morning. I was particularly fond of the ending of the "Different Species Marriage" article.
--CEO Kasen
2565578 Thanks, I'm glad you like it!
SPORTS
Soccer riots broke out in the country of Fancy today as the national soccer team won a resounding victory. Equestrians continued to not give a buck about soccer.
This. This is great.
To be honest it's not so much satire when you think about how very little Rarity and Rainbow Dash spend on screen together on the show. Good Observation.
latest chapters not as good as the first couple
It's sad that there's no episode pitting Rainbow Dash and Rarity together in a situation.
It makes it so easy to assume that they're only friends by association.
This is truly the most insightful news I've had in five minutes.
I require....more.
Okay now this, this is how you do comedy. Quality stuff, and I love the interspecies bit.
2611648 Thank you so much, I'm glad you like it. And thanks for the fave!
This is brilliant.
Seriously, I don't understand why this isn't featured. This needs to be featured.
2611685 Thank you for saying so! I sure try and promote it all I can. Maybe someday I'll get into that elusive feature box
OOOOOHHhhhh, SNAP!!!!!!
Good thing she's so naive or else she'd realize she just got served.
Wow dissing Rainbow Dash
Poor Fluttershy can some one help her
You just put two seriously controversial topics one after another.
I like you.
This reminds me of the Equestria Inquirer back during its heyday. And that's a good thing.
I'm in love with random murder but my friends all have concerns,
because my clothes are bloodstained and my hooves have powder burns.
And of course,
"Pinkie Pie, Rarity's trying to be a mass murderer!" "A true true friend helps a friend in need..."
Cloperado?
Seems Legit.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Very clever.
hey, perhaps they're unicorns.
Cute idea.
Nice. Overall, best chapter to far. Very funny.
Quality definitely improves each chapter.
2767946 Thanks! I'm glad you like it
There needs to a way to type how Sideshow Bob laughs so I can demonstrate how much I loved this.
I like this.
Equestria is not a democracy.
Well DUH.
2994517 although, pinkie pie is kind of a pony of anraky, so...
Oh dear.
Seriously, how is such filth allowed on television?
3115942 Won't somebody PLEASE think of the children?!
This was a parody of Miley Cyrus' performance at the VMA's, right?
Fucking. GENIUS! I knew this would stir up a whole lot of controversy!
I mean is playing music about the MUSIC ... what about the sexual innuendo and and ... the raunch and and ...
This chapter is made of win. :)
This really makes me want to watch the Nostalgia Critic's Drug PSA's video.
My face while reading this (in order of appearance)
Try not to smile
Try really hard not to smile
Make the stupidest laughing face I can make
Once they mentioned not touching the weapons, I realized that Equestrian police are just as dunce as Earth police.
Now who could Q. L. possibly be?
How fitting.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Silly ponies.
Man, there really is no difference between Republican propaganda and satire anymore.
3290434
So true.
See, Luna? That's how you create eternal night! Just let Congress run things.
I miss the days when this story had original ideas. Lately, all it's done is ponify real-world news stories. You disappoint me, author.