• Member Since 26th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen 10 hours ago

Corejo


A good story isn't measured by how long it is, but by how long it stays with you.

T

A mysterious “World Circus” has come to Ponyville; though, not all is as it seems. When Twilight learns the motives behind the grandeur, she finds only death and despair lying within its machinations. But somewhere in the illusions and fabricated realities lies the truth she so desperately must find to save herself and the world as she knows it.

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 102 )

Welcome to the lower berth! The Greatest Show Unearthed!

This is fucking excellent. I can tell a lot of effort has been put into this.

I can't wait for the next chapter.

Well...this is going to be an interesting trip...

Hap

Twilight smiled, remembering how she felt the first time she had cracked it open herself. “‘An illusion is only as strong...’” began Twilight.
“As the illusee is observant!” Rainbow Dash finished with her, gleeful, hoof raised as if part of a cheer.

Boy, I bet this never, ever comes up again.

Needed more buildup and foreshadowing methinks.

Well you didn't leave only one path to take the story so it has promise to become something good... so I guess I will just keep on eye on it and see how it plays out

Well, this is certainly interesting.

Looking great. The only thing that irked me were the absence of blank lines between each of the paragraphs, but I got used to it.

Also, here's something kind of related, though it's kind of weird, and I'd say that it's much less sinister than what this story will turn into.

...there will be a show tonight on trampoline.

I can't believe how unjustly ill-received this story is. Let alone that an Equestria Daily featured story gained less than 500 views, it also received 6 downvotes. The only explanation I have for this is the unconventional lack of blank lines between pargraphs, to which I consider a downvote a huge overreaction. I don't think I can rectify that with a like and a favorite, but I will at least try to do so.

The story itself was, to me, very unexpected. When I read the description, I thought it bore an uncanny resemblance to Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradburry, so much that I expected some characters named Cooger&Dark to pop up any minute. The story itself, of course, is completely different, and I can't decide what to make of that yet. I think I'll reserve proper judgement until I've read the end of it.

Lastly one thing that would keep bugging me far too much if I didn't point it out is this:

An illusion is only as strong as the illusee is observant,

It sounds pretty articulate, but isn't it the opposite of the truth? Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't an observant illusee make the illusion weaker? I'd think that an illusion is only as strong as the illusee is oblivious.

4829323
I've never read Something Wicked This Way Comes. I had actually never even heard of it until people mentioned it here and on the EqD post. (That and The Greatest Show on Earth.) And the rest of your comment... next update is expected Wednesday.

Hap

4829323

I can't believe how unjustly ill-received this story is.

That's actually why I checked it out. I've got a soft spot for good stuff that's unjustly rated poorly.

This one seems to be recovering, though.

I dread the idea of dark carnivals
Their web of lies too perfect their deceits too convincing, their morals too twisted
I will read this... Hesitantly
(I don't like carnivals, clowns, circuseses :fluttershyouch:)

4831109

This one seems to be recovering, though.

503 current views. 942 EqD referrals. More than likely, it's all Read-it-Later views flowing in right now.

she finds only death and despair lying within its machinations.

Ehhhh... nope. I'm burned out of this stuff. Too much so to even bother.

All I'm going to assume is that Twilight is not going to go immediately to Celestia or Luna and ask for help. Because then the story would be over too quickly. :trollestia:

Ya know, I have to wonder why people got into Pony and it's messages of friendship and hope and harmony if this is what gets their jollies up.

4839774
Because it's about character exploration.

4841972 Well, that's a problem when the character doesn't use the common sense he or she was born with.

Twi ALWAYS goes to Celestia when she comes across something really sinister.

Of course, Celestia is often cryptic in her reply, but not when it's something truly straightforwardly dangerous like Discord or Tirek.

It'd be like a skilled marksman suddenly not remembering he has a gun when a robber shows up.

4842102
You should read the first chapter before jumping to all those conclusions. I'm sure you won't be disappointed, at least in the establishment of the story if not in the fact it's a dark fic.

4842203 Nah, the promise of death and despair does nothing for my interest.

Are you afraid of death, Jack Sparrow?

I have to say, well done with Mr. Kite. I've tried to do horror once or twice, and the most difficult part is always finding something scary. Kite's mix of psychopathy, almost vampiric charm, and her collector mentality all have that vibe of making me want to live the rest of my life in a well-lit room, preferably with my favorite teddy bear. Again, well done, and I'm surprised that this story is as obscure as it is.

:pinkiegasp: You like scary things? I LOVE scary things! Lets be friends!:pinkiehappy:


Admittedly, having Pinkie as the lead role would probably completely change the tone of the story.


Zecora would also be rather interesting.


Only real thing I have to question is whether or not Mr Kite will be a new friend by the time the story ends. That's the important thing for the Ponyville national free range insane asylum.

This looks very interesting so far. I would like to see a drawing of Mr. Kite, and I will be there to read the next chapter.

Welp, consider me perturbed.

Hap

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

And Twilight's seen this Mr. Kite before, as a foal? Interesting.

Ugh...crazed illusionists are a whole different level of spooky...:facehoof:

Shouldn't this be a crossover since it involves Mr Kite?

Twilight may be smart, but genre savvy she is not.

I CAME AS SOON AS I HEARD A BEATLES REFERENCE WAS HERE

Hap

I am continually wondering where this will go.

I am left wondering if it is going to be a parade of horrible things which will eventually have a horrible end that leaves me wondering exactly what happened.

I do not use the term 'horrible' to mean poorly written. Just so that's clear. Just horrible in the horror of the situation bit.

4920336
I'll take that as I've won the first half of the battle.
4920437
Wonder to your heart's content.

Hap

I'm also surprised there isn't more discussion and theorizing in the comments.

Uuugghhhgga!!! That cliff hanger!!

Bro what the hay is going on?

This is an interesting and promising story there.
Would this happen to be inspired from the "Carnival Cat" ?
I noticed similarities.

4923106
None whatsoever. The popular belief is that it's inspired by Something Wicked This Way Comes, by Ray Bradbury, or The Greatest Show Unearthed by Creature Feature, but I had actually never heard of any of the above until those similarities were mentioned.

Twilight isn't out of trouble yet... I am eager to see how she will fix this body-swapping.

I had a feeling a body swap was on the table, but more along the lines of kite needing a new body. This is certainly dramatic.

4953016
If you guess what's coming next you get a cookie.

4954312
Twilight, who looks like Kite while being actually Twilight, finds someone who trusts her being the purple unicorn?

Whaaaa just happened!

4954312
Twilight studies all of Kite's tricks hoping to find a weakness, but makes a startling discovery. The only way to get her life back is to time travel back and steal it from herself, thus creating a stable time loop. Mr. Kite was actually Future Twilight the whole time.
:pinkiecrazy:

ROBCakeran53
Moderator

In the course of a week, I read both Asylum and this. I am beginning to doubt my own reality :pinkiecrazy:

My increasing insanity aside, this was well put together. Giving us a good show as to just how much hatred this Kite has for Twilight. She could have just done the body swapping, but no, she had to torment her with countless illusions and fantasies, lure her to snap, and THEN do it when everypony could see. This is just... damn... I eagerly await what happens next, knowing Twilight's horror show is only to continue from here.

I'd say I need to go lay down to let my brain cool off, but I fear waking up now.

5068720
I'll be coming back to this story after I finish another creepy one I want to get out for Halloween. That hiatus tag isn't forgotten!

Nice to see this back on tracks. Twilight sure will need a friend's support to go through this ordeal.

Hap

Seriously? Only one other person has commented on this?

I'm sure Rainbow Dash is going to figure it out and, once she manages to convince the others... assuming that the others are really themselves, and assuming they don't see Rainbow Dash as a changeling, and assuming that...

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