• Member Since 17th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen Last Tuesday

Paradise Oasis


Royal librarian of Dream Valley, writer of Ponykind's greatest generation!

T

When her daughter has to do a report on her family history for school, Applejack of Dream Valley recalls a long life and many adventures a humble little earth pony had lived though. From apple bucker to fashion designer, from saloon filly in Apploosa to picnic prepare in a very different Ponyville, this mare has done more in ten lifetimes than an Alicorn has done in one eternal one. Experience the history of the past thousand years of ponydom, from the mare who lived through it all! (covers MLP generations 1, Tales, 3, and 4!)

Chapters (70)
Comments ( 393 )
Comment posted by The Vault Tech deleted Feb 10th, 2014

3923404

I apologize for removing your comment, but I would prefer comments have commentary and criticism of the story content. I do appreciate the two of you pointing out the typos and spelling errors, but I wish you had actually left some details on the content with the corrections, instead of just putting a rude picture in. The other deletion with only the correction and no rude picture I apologize for removing, that was an error.

Comment posted by Paradise Oasis deleted Feb 10th, 2014
Comment posted by Paradise Oasis deleted Feb 23rd, 2014

3923568

There's no need for that.

I find this story rather interesting.:pinkiehappy:

Tornado, I wouldn't go as far as to delete this piece entirely. There is a good concept that could be unearthed when done properly, and you shouldn't let a bit of hatred stop you from at least getting out your second chapter. My apologies for not referencing the comment in this. (I have no idea how!)

I will admit that there are a few areas that could use a bit of touching up on. For example, the double use of barely in the beginning of the story could have been replaced with a bit more word variety, as could the excessive use of the word baby all throughout the beginning portion of the story. However, these are merely simple fixes, and nothing to fret over. The other thing that I happened to learn while writing on Deviantart was that when you've established what a character looks like, or if the audience already knows what a character looks like through common knowledge of the show, you don't need to refer to them as a specific colored pony or something along those lines. It would be much easier to just state who exactly is speaking rather than input a description of the character while establishing who is speaking, and ultimately won't break the reader from the piece.

But, as I said before, don't delete this simply because there have been some hateful comments against you. Hell, you might just want to keep this around, A. as a reminder for the future for how far you've grown as a writer, and B. to show you what to improve upon in the current time. I'm not going to say this is perfect, but I will say it's worth keeping, no matter the down votes.

(Sorry if I came off as rude... I'm not the best when it comes to the social game...:twilightsheepish:)

3923863

Thank you for the imput, and I will look over some of those changes in the fic. Though I will point out the 'Baby' thing is actually a G1 naming device. (They actually were mini versions of thier moms, literally named 'baby ___' after the parent.) And if there's enough intrest, I'll keep the story going.

Love the concept, you shouldn't delete this awesome story

I don't know why it got so many downvotes in less than 24 hours. It's the same as your other stories.

3923568
Don't.

You've already got a great idea that few came and did. All you need now is some pre-readers to help you iron out the problems. Plus, this story is yours and no one else. It wouldn't be wise to just delete this fiction when someone told you to.

The first step to success is always a failure. Revise chapter one (thought I haven't read yet, but I'm going to assume this is the problem), and I'm sure you will get better reviews and ratings. :ajsmug:

You're actually doing the idea. :pinkiehappy:

Plus, with Cheerilee playing a supporting role in this, it would be interesting to see her take on Applejack's history. :ajsmug:

Also, should most of the foals have learned about bits of AJ's past already to make it look interesting ? :rainbowhuh:

Please, I wish to encourage you to keep up the good work upon such a great idea like this one as it's off to a great start.

P.s. Did Applejack ever kept her old hat or not ?

Nice premise, and I like it so far. Glad you didn't pick up G1s habit of making the baby ponies talk in Hulk-speak, too. It's like people in the 80s never listened to kids speak or something.

I take one look at the comments and wonder what the heck happened while I was sleeping last night.

Don't delete this story Tornado, just because there are a few neigh sayers in the audience. This a great story and I encourage you to continue, you only have to read the comments and see that you have an audience who love it already, including myself.

I am definantly interested in hearing what AJ got up to in the thousand or so years of her immortality. :ajsmug:

In case I wasn't clear in my last comment, I am enjoying it.:pinkiesmile:

Gets in between Applejack and Cherries Jubilee okay you two that's it the fruit theme is going to be blueberries and that is final!:flutterrage:

Aw yeah, it's the set up.

I can't wait to see which moments you chose for this tale. It's always interesting to see a story told in a unique POV. And Applejack's view on life may just be more interesting considering her long life. Please do keep up the good work upon such a great tale like this one. :ajsmug:

Just gonna set up my chair with some popcorn. I am going to enjoy this. :pinkiehappy:

I can already tell I'm going to enjoy this immensely! :pinkiehappy:

This is going to be good.:pinkiehappy: *grabs popcorn*

3929001
Yepyepperoni! Like Pinkie would have said! Oh how wonderful this is! I rember G1 from when I was smal!

An error I fear, other wise looks like another good one :heart:

The little filly just sat the for a moment, before replying. "Mama, an I ask you something?"

This wasn't a happy chapter. Is there going to be more like this, or is this going to be one of the only sad chapters? Is this still a comedy?

3993207

I had to cover the goodbye. :fluttercry: not much more of this though. :pinkiehappy:

What a minute, so who does know of Applejack being ageless ? :rainbowhuh:

And why did Princess Twilight transfer her youth to Applejack of all ponies ? :ajbemused:

Also, shouldn't you've cover her goodbyes with her siblings, especially given how you tied it to your previous stories ? :ajsmug:

Plus, Spike's asleep at the moment, right ? :unsuresweetie:

Nice update and explanation on why Applejack stayed away from the family, but still a bit more questions than answers. :ajsleepy:

3993547

Rarity said the Canterlot ponies THINK she recieved that transerred youth, the eliete don't know about the whole Tambelon fiasco occured.

The Princesses may know, and a certain Dark Lord, whose power is now on the rise, knows. You'll be hearing from him later in the story! :pinkiegasp:

And Applebloom and Big Mac's final goodbyes will come in later chapters through flashbacks. :pinkiehappy:

3993634
Wait, you mean the Princesses don't know the full story ?:pinkiegasp:

Now why would the likes of both Twilight and Applejack kept something that POWERFUL away from the likes of Princess Celestia, Princess Luna and even Princess Candance ?:unsuresweetie:

The sudden abruptness of Rarity's visit and AJ leaving...I don't...

I understand it a little, but to me, it fits like a square peg in a round hole. I guess I didn't realize what was asked. Or I just understood it differently. Like a narration.

3994197

Okay, if you read the text, Rarity's been visiting AJ a lot from canterlot, this time she's 1.) announcing she's moving back to ponyville, and 2.) Warning AJ the canterlot eliete are getting a bit too curious about what they think is the immortal pony.
Rarity's the only one left to say goodbye to. And I don't mess around much in the G4 era, I keep that vague to avoid future show contradictions. This was as in-depth as I could go without risking future contradictions.

3994055

AJ and Twilight never knew., Twilight suggested that the tambelon incident affected AJ, but Rarity and AJ are just now starting to think there's actually something to that.

3994845

Even if they didn't know, somepony should have told both Princess Luna and Princess Celestia sooner rather than later. :twilightoops:

Rarity does have a point, things would get hairy for AJ if the Canterlot nobility decided to snoop around.

3995335

Mbpony, I was trying to avoid spoliers for later in the story, but... Celestia and Luna know. :ajbemused:

:fluttercry:

Sorry for not giving a longer comment, but I really felt it in this chapter.

3996238

Sorry about that. Well, at least the Princesses do know the truth. :twilightblush:

Now I am curious to see what happens next in this tale of yours.:ajsmug:

3994845

I know. Just that you use narration or letter-point-of-view a lot lately and I thought you might do the same here. :pinkiecrazy:

3996431

Ah, sorry! :applejackunsure: I was just trying to shift back to narritive stucture for parts of this story. I think it isn't working, though.

You know, you've could have mentioned Apple bloom and the CMC in this chapter, as a reference of the many attempts to earn their cutie marks, but also having fun doing so despite the dangers of some of their stunts.

Either way this was a great update and nice explanation on AJ's pride and stubbornness of sticking to what she knew best.

Nice start to Apple jewel, as I wonder how long her modeling career last ? :ajsmug:

Also, another mention of the "aging" spell, makes me wonder if there is a limit/deadline to this spell so that Applejack can age and die normally ?

Please do keep up the good work upon such a great story like this one.

Thus Apple Jewel began her carer in fashion and got herself a coltfriend to boot.

You've been itching to write this, haven't you? :ajsmug:

This is going to be interesting. :ajsmug:

I cannot wait to see how AJ tackles in Appleosa. :yay:

Please do keep up the good work.

Curious as to when AJ donates her stetson to the museum.

So Applejack, who is immortal, decides not to tell Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Discord, or any other immortal that she's immortal? I mean, wouldn't hanging out with other immortals keep your spirits up because you know they wouldn't all be dead within a century? Also, where are Cadence and Twilight?

This story should probably get an OC or Other tag, by the way.

4020582

Reand the other stories in the cycle, and keep reading... it'll all make sense. :pinkiehappy:

I'm guessing that particular reunion didn't end well.

Yikes, nice update to the story, but talk about bad timing for Applejack. :ajsleepy:

Now I wonder if this tale will tell its readers what happen to Applejack during the deaths of The Royal Sisters ? :rainbowhuh:

Do keep up the good work.

where I would medal some

model

I was left with sowing off her finest work

showing

horseshoe licking today’s a thing or

toadies

I don't think I caught them all, just some of the bigger ones.
I guess she forgot that being in the limelight might have caught their attention.

Oh oh, so this is when Celestia and LuLu find out that AJ is inmortal?

Ya, she couldn't stay 'hidden' like that. :ajbemused:

4147195 Agreed, this persona had too much of a public life to stay hidden for long.

This is going to be interesting. :ajsmug:

Nice update, but I do wonder, whatever became of Applejack's Stetson hat ? :rainbowhuh:

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