• Member Since 17th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen March 26th

Paradise Oasis


Royal librarian of Dream Valley, writer of Ponykind's greatest generation!

T

Storybelle, Ponyville's resident librarian and storyteller, is always on hand to read stories and tales to the visitors who come from all over Equestria to her story loft. Listen now, as she weaves the tales of the interesting ponies who call a very special town called Ponyville home- a very different Ponyville from the one you know...

Art by Lore-Lei

Chapters (47)
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Comments ( 232 )

Off to a good start. I'm intrigued.

This looks like it could be interesting.

I'm settling in for a good story

Ooh, yay! I'm glad this is getting off the ground!

The potential in this story is absolute! We hope you keep up the good work!

This is a G3 fic!? The liberian was talking to me? GASP! The Liberian's talking to me as if I was really there.

I don't understand, it promised 34 words.

34 words total

Considering the fact that G3 Rainbow Dash acted like Rarity and Rarity acted more like Pinkie I've always wanted to see a crossover.:pinkiecrazy:

I love how you kicked it off! Tee hee hee, yeah I remember your Fluttershy little camera obsession. Poor everybody! Who are we gonna see first?

Oh! Hello there, my good little pony! Welcome to the Story Loft, Ponyville's one and only honest -to- goodness library. It's really late, and I don't get very many visitors here at this hour, so I'm really happy to have you visit here. My name is Storybelle, and I'm the Librarian and caretaker of the loft. Please, do come in, and have a look around! Now, I know this place looks a little weird, being a giant lighthouse with a spinning pinwheel on the side (that's also on my cutie mark, in case you hadn't noticed!), But I can assure you, we have one of the finest collections of books this side of the Everfree forest!

This whole first paragraph hooked me in. Couple questions though:
1. Is this design of yours based off a play set? I'm pretty sure it's not, but thought I'd ask.
2. Would you have any problem with me drawing up blueprints or the such of this place?

Massive editing post incoming

Jumping around, braking stuff, acting all hyper and talking to people who weren't there.

Breaking stuff.

Anyway, the two of us trotted back to the balloon house- it''s a really big house shaped like a hot air balloon

It's a

"Minty, no! We need to measure those out just right!"

I personally would have put "We needed to measure those out correctly!"

I really sould of realized this when Minty

Should have

"Minty, we followed the direction to the letter, this stuff shouldn't be icky!"

Directions

"...Oh ,Pinkie, why do I keep messing everything up?!"

I think your commas are messed up here.

It took us for hours to clean all that nasty goo up

Four hours


So, besides typos and the such, I really enjoyed this chapter! It's lovely writing and I hope to see more of this story!

P.S. If ya need an editor or something for this story, feel free to ask me. I ain't busy.

6606447

thanks, but I actually want to keep the dialogue that way, to mimic the g3 Pinkie and Minty''s '5 year old speak' they had in the cartoon specials. Notice the more intelligent Storybelle's narrative did not have those errors.

6606403

Storybelle and the story Loft are featured in the G3 Special 'two for the sky". shown here:

Neither one recieved toys, sadly.

A bit too much yeast I think.

Great writing! Keep it up :yay:

Lovely.
I could clearly see the scene were they all drew their guns.
Good stuff.

It's really late, and I don't get very many visitors here at this hour,

"Well, hello there, traveler. I see your car broke down on this lonesome country road, a place so remote, that no one can hear your screams!…Pretend I didn't say that. Come in, come in, but be warned. If you enter, you may be subjected to my tales. Tales designed to sell my merchandise! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!…Sorry, I was…thinkin' of something funny I heard earlier."

6609863

I see where you're going with that, and it ain't funny. Yeah, G3 had a lot of merchandising, but so does G4 and pretty much every other cartoon. Sure, G3 might not have been as subtle, but it was a show that did what it set out to do- entertain (and sell). But who are we to judge?

6609469

Cannot tell if sarcastic or serious, but the G3 ponies have weird opposable hooves.

Denim Blue = Applejack
Rainbow Dash = Rarity
Storybelle = Twilight

6610670
Naw, I was being serious. Meant it was well written.

6610986

Tenchnically, Denim's a stallion, but he does act like AJ a bit.

6613719 Demin's a stallion!? I dunno... Denim looks like a mare.

6613910

All G3 toys look that way, sadly! :facehoof:

6613922 It really doesn't help that I imagine Denim with an effiminate voice. Hey, at least this fic isn't cringe-worthy.

I'm guessing that Maretonia is the equivalent of Mexico or something? I like Fiesta already.

Comment posted by Paradise Oasis deleted Nov 8th, 2015

I know you're trying to imitate Hispanic, but I can't help but feel that some of the wording sounds a bit more like Jamaican, especially near de beginnin', mahn.:twilightsheepish:
Otherwise, pass the popcorn, we're in for a real show with these two.

(Also, for the title, if I remember anything from Spanish class, it's that "si", no accent mark, is not the same as "sí", accent mark, so right now this chapter is kinda called "Much If!")

6614261

I'm trying to make her a hybridization of all latin american cultures, hance the mixed accent. And thanks! :twilightsmile:

Hola, la poni! Como sestas? Muy Bein, gracias! Yo maymo Fiesta Flair, mi tengo-

¡Hola, poni! ¿Cómo estás? ¡Muy bien, gracias! Me llamo Fiesta Flair, mi tengo—

Oh, you no habla Maretonian, eh?

"Oh, tú no hablas Maretonian, eh?" might be better.

Que pena! Que pena!

¡Qué pena¡ ¡Qué pena!

beunos noches

buenas

seniorita

señorita

This chapter's title, "Mucho Si" doesn't make any sense; no matter if you wanted "very yes" or "very if," it's just plain weird.

Seriously, if you're going to use Spanish, at least copy-paste the special characters from Wikipedia or something.

Also, I have to say that, although I know you're trying to convey a Hispanic accent, it's actually a little annoying to read. Just sayin'.

I like Fiesta.
She's cute.

cotton Candy talks on and on so much

1. Cotton, not cotton
2. Cotton Candy mention. :pinkiehappy: Sounds like she's kinda similar to Pinkie over here. <--

Also, I did not expect any feels, yet I got some.

This was cute.

6625749 Thanks! I was the guest author. :twilightsheepish:

Thank you again Paradise for letting me write a guest chapter! :pinkiehappy: It was really fun and I'm honored you let me be apart of this.

That was quite fun to read.

Ooh~ Mystery! Loved it!

But are princesses allowed to fly in hot air balloons? :moustache:

Haha, it's funny how you try to use spanish... algunos errores, sí. But i liked :pinkiesmile:

6628265

The broken and misused Spanish is supposed to be part of the gag! :rainbowlaugh: but thanks!

Ooh~ Nice! :pinkiehappy: I wonder if the next chapter will pick up on her being somewhere else? Even if it's just referenced?

6628397

It probably will be touching on that, but here's another question; what will ponyville do without a princess? :pinkiegasp:

Comment posted by AstraLee deleted Nov 13th, 2015
Comment posted by Paradise Oasis deleted Nov 13th, 2015
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