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The duchy of Maretonia, a mysterious land on Equestria's border that few Equestrians have ever visited. It is a strange land, fraught with danger, mystery, and Romance. But when Maretonian Native Fiesta Flair gets homesick, she takes a group of friends back to visit her native land. They enjoy their vacation at first, but they soon find themselves on an adventure that will throw all of Equestria in danger.
*Watercolors and Moonlight are both OC's, used with permission.*
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8184000 Indeed, I'm going to keep an eye on this one as well.
Its like a mix of Spanish, Aztec and South American cultures, I'm loving it already.
AAAAND we're off! Looking forward to the rest.
1.- This is titled "Prolouge" when it should be "Prologue".
2.- That Southern bit sounds a lot like what happened to Texas.
8190698
That's pretty much the parallel I was going for, yeah.
8190707
Well, you've done a good job so far. Also, the pacing is good.
8190754
thanks!
8190786
You welcome, also, I recommend you to feature this in the Shameless Self Promotion Bureau, the Writers Group and the Insane Creators Group to get more people reading this.
They have arrived. Good pacing so far, I'll be interested in where this leads from here.
hello, a little spanish grammar corrections
"Come on, niña! You can do it!"
"Muy bien! That's it, little ones!"
"Estas son las mañanitas que cantaba el-♪ The mare looked up, to see all the other ponies at the party staring at her, dumbfounded. "Oh, perdón. I got carried away."
becouse "las mañanitas" are the traditional birthday song
"Oh, no es nada, Minty... is nothing."
"Well, sort of, I guess." The sullen mare replied, as the two friends started to trot down the street. "I mean, I haven't been these since I was a little filly, an' with Ponyville being so aburridisimo, I'd like to visit the place I came from, learn my roots.... you know?"
"CLARO QUE SI!"
8197392
In my defense,Fiesta's broken Maretonian is because she didn't grow up in Maretonia, her parents were from there, and she grew up in Ponyville with nobody else who speaks it. So she talks in broken half-Spanish with an accent.
more spanish corrections, if you don't mind
"Wow, es muy increíble!" Fiesta Flair commented, looking out the widow of the moving train. "I mean, I've seen passing el tren going by Ponyville before, but I never thought I'd be riding one!"
"Hmm, No se... are all Equestrian mares as shy and nervous as you are?" Fiesta Flair rolled her eyes, before laughing. "Just teasing you, amiga. Mi mamá y papá took me away from Maretonia when I was a little potrilla. So, I don't know any more than the rest of you."
"Oh wow, I bet the la familia real is trying to restore the capital, maybe for some big Celebración that is coming up." Fiesta noted. "Ugh, I wish I could remember from when I was a potrilla.... but it was so long ago."
"Oh, Si! I loved growing up with my friends in de town." Fiesta agreed. "Mis amigas Cotton Candy, Kimono, and...Razaroo." Fiesta grimaced as she said the last name. "Even the mare who annoyed me de most. I wouldn't trade mi fillyhood back in Ponyville for all the bits in Equestria."
"Gee, siento mucho que my country isn't like what you see in books or plays." Fiesta snorted. "They are just ponies, like everybody else!"
err
i don't understand but i will do my best
"¡Oh, Dios mío! Ustedes deben ser los amigos de Fiesta Flair!" The filly rushed up excitedly, hugging and kissing the three ponies on the cheek in an overly friendly manner. "¡Estoy tan feliz de conocerlos! El duque y la duquesa me ha pedido que los encuentre y los lleve al Palacio!"
this is a little tricky. being a name she can be named in any form, but it has more sense if is changed like this
"Yes! My name is Dona' Luz de Luna, but you all can call me Moonlight." She spoke in an accent much clearer than Fiesta's. "Welcome to Tenochtitlan, de capital of Maretonia!"
8197410 Oh! yeah that have more sense. it's very strange, normaly, childrens born in MX and raised in USA adopt more the USA culture than the MX one, is a serious cultural problem for the "dreamers" they are culturaly and mentaly north american, when they get deported to MX the can't fit in the local culture, for them USA is their country, not MX.
8197449
good point, I'll make the changes soon.
Interesting, the Griffons are the Spanish and Equestria is the USA.
Maretonia is like a mix of Spain, Mexico and a even the Aztecs, with some Egyptian thrown in. Its an interesting combination.
8200951
Except for the duke's outfit, I don't see the Egyptian.
But the rest is spot on.
Near the end, if this was actually animated, I just imagine a shot of Fiesta floating around in her thoughts with stars in her eyes or something...I dunno.
I already love Moonlight
The Aztecs were known for their human sacrifices, it seems the tradition has not completely vanished in Maretonia
Don't use italics on that word, it makes it more subtle.
Isn't it obvious
...bad...
I officially love this Moonlight baby!
They have been swept off their hooves by this handsome stallion of the night!
latin lover spoted
later Watercolor in Peperdance room
i.imgflip.com/1jsoy0.jpg
Best bit of the story so far
Who was the fourth one?
I just imagine her standing there thinking "Oh no oh gosh, oh good gosh, but blood, but stallions, but blood, but stallions..."
Oh gooooosh....oh no
Yes please.
Makes sense to me.
8218924
I can't tell if I'm offended or amused...definitely amused. Also, I'm asexual, so either way that would be a no. Still hilarious though.
8220248
sorry if i offended in any way
8220329
Not at all. It was too easy a joke to make.
Yay! I love history
Nice start!
Cute! Fiesta is really interesting as a character, I just loved the way she behaved at the party, totally believable. Also, Fresco and Watercolor sound like a good contrast to Fiesta’s excited personality
Good job, my friend! 
Heh, I really liked the way you described the travel through Maretonia’s peripheric zones to the Capital.
Great, just great!
It’s nice to see that part of the argument is based on Fiesta’s identity, a very interesting thing to focus on and to help the reader to understand the rest of the story.
Awesome!
Aw, you really portrayed Moonlight as she is
freaking maretonian pegasus 
Yeah, if there’s a word to describe certain places is noisy
Dat accent tho!
I have to say, It’s a really creative way to describe the city of Maretonia, a floating city! Yeah, I can see that happening in the world of MLP, it’s different and imaginative while keeping the spirit of the real world city. Just excellent!
As I said before, this whole “inside conflict” of Fiesta and her identity is really interesting.
Yeah, a party!
Ah, ol’ good pozole, I’m not really fond of spicy food but pozole is always welcome 
Ha, poor Fresco
So griffins are like the Spanish? Head-cannon approved
Also:
Hahahaha, so accurate
Nice! It is good to see that the purpose didn’t get lost. Having the Dukes interacting with Watercolor and Fresco is really nice, a little change of pace with historical results!
Whoa, I’ll be honest here, this chapter made me think. I’m so used to know the culture, to know that in the past it was just so violent with the whole ‘sacrife to see the sun at the next day’ thing, that I’ve never really thought about it as something special but for Celestia’s sake! It was violent! Thinking about ponies like Watercolor and Fresco seeing that part of Maretonia’s history is kind of shocking but amazing nonetheless
Huh, I need to find one of those... and turn it off!
Mysterious italics word is mysterious
I like the way you played with their emotions, Fiesta’s “feeling out of place” thing and Moonlight’s loneliness. It is a nice contrast, and the mention of Princess Luna was a nice touch
I’ve never heard that one!
And I’m definitely using it from now on 
I’ll just leave you a couple of quick corrections for the Spanish part if you don’t mind
As you’re referring to Princess Celestia, the correct use is “Magnifica” because she’s, well, a she 😉
It’d be better this way “mi madre y padre”. Also, freaking griffins
Story is Historia in Spanish, so it is a female noun and it should be described as one. So “conmovedora” is more appropriate.
I realized you make this mistake a lot, and it’s understandable but it’s not well written that way. If you just write “potra” will be ok, it’s not always necessary to use pronouns.
“Señoritas”
“Mucho, muy guapo” it’s better, mucho and muy mean basicaly the same but are used diferently.
Same here with the “mucho, muy” thing.
Also this “recuerde” sounds formal and the rest of the sentence sounds a little bit weird, if you don’t mind I think this could sound a little less formal:
“¡Sólo recuerda, yo lo vi primero!”
Oh, well, those were more than “a couple” of corrections, but I hope it helps
Oh, hey! The artistic ponies returned! Yay!
Although this chapter wasn’t exactly about art 
Heh, now that’s the reason why mares like that kind of sports!
I mean, that’s what I’ve heard! 
Now, that Watercolor is toda una loquilla! With that I mean she’s, you know, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
That was... unexpected, hilarious, but certainly unexpected
I look forward to the rest of the story, it’s really interesting, despite some grammatical errors every now and then in the Spanish part, I really like it and I can’t wait for the next chapter!
Amazing work, my friend
Or should I say “Mi amigo”?
8234835
Uh huh, you HEARD that's why mares like sports, rriiiiight...
Seriously though, thanks for the gram fixes. Spanish isn't my first language. (even though my madrina is from Castile, Spain)
8235918 That’s right!
In that case, you’re welcome, I know is a rather complex language so don’t worry I’m glad to help
Fiesta is in for a surprise, hopefully a pleasant one.
That's not good, that's not good at all.
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/449/104/ace.png
1.-
Fresco.
2.- Well, let's see how you handle murder mysteries now.
I couldn't have said it better myself
Wait...
...nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope.
Google translated:
Oh, Moonlight. It's okay. *hugs*
Fresco...Fresco don't say that.
...THE HECK!?!?
Google translate:
But...but...I'm not a whore or a murderer...
...bad thoughts.
Interesting, I really liked the idea of Watercolor and Pepper, well, being friends. It’s nice to see the way they both are passionate about their respective ‘arts’
Oh, that Sunny guy is cool, nothing more Mexican than criticizing the government . Yeah, I liked him, but... heck, Moonlight wanted to sleep with him and he didn’t even know her name... I’m more worried for Moonlight’s behavior than his XD
Awww, poor Moonlight. I laughed so hard with that dialogue
Good job, Tornado, an amazing chapter
Welp, that escalated quickly
Oh, right! Art! Restauration! That’s the reason why all of this started! Nice to see it hadn’t been forgotten. Now, these ponies have a lot of work ahead of them! Good luck, Art ponies!
Wait, what? Wasn’t she working with Fresco a moment ago? Was it a jump in time? What’s happening?!
Ok, now that’s good lore! The idea of the Maretonians thinking of the griffons as saviors because of ancient myths is just beautiful. A perfect analogy of the real thing! Really creative, usted se merece un aplauso
i.imgur.com/0mKXcg1.gif
Now...
True, true, but that also means that not because a group of griffins are bad every griffin is bad
Oh, crops...! Drinking ponche when is hot?! That pony is my hero
What the fu-?
Moonlight: Language!
¿Qué chingados acaba de pasar?
Moonlight:
Whoa, that... that last paragraph... You can’t let us hanging like that! What happens next!?
8255959
Well.... Sunny Salsa and Moonlight might already know each other, and not realize it. Notice some of Sunny's comments about his mother and father, and being raised with affairs of state, and how Moonlight thought she recognized him around the royal court. Then lookat the duchess's comment next chapter, and the pieces start to fall into place. Moonlight mighty already have feelings for him from knowing him before, and not even realizing it.
8256013
Watercolor is still working with fresco, remember the evil duplicate Watercolor the griffins made with that magic mirror a few chapters ago? The mirror duplicate stabbed the duchess.