• Member Since 30th Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

Phoenix Nebula


Chaos is not the opposite of Harmony but apart of it. Both chaos and order together create a balance known as Harmony. Without one you cannot have have the other and without either there is nothing.

T

After the leaders of Equestria were kidnaped the Canterlot Nobility were enraged. They now are demanding the subjugation of the changelings, whether peacefully or by force. In a desperate attempt to keep the peace Celestia must make a difficult decision. A decision that will change the life of her former student forever.


NEW STORY! And this time co-wrote with the amazing Julunis! Please go over to her channel and show her some love! This story was originally her's and the artwork is also done by her!

And thank you to Wokarian and Princess_Nika_xx for pre-reading and editing!

I hope you all enjoy the story!


Edit: Featured on the front page on 5/25/2018


Prologue rewritten on 5/26/2018

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 180 )

This was very emotional and realistic I must say. Please continue to write this story

8946523
We will. The first chapter will start being written in a few hours.

8946527
Just don't overwork yourself. Good stories come from the heart and a lot of time and not from a dozen coffe cups.

8946529
With two people writing and two editing it makes the job way easier. This 3000 word prologue only took a day to write and edit.

Ooooh. A Twilight x Thorax shipping story. Count me in :twilightsmile:

Well this was an interesting and strong first chapter. I look forward for more.

Keep up the good work my good man :pinkiehappy:

Think you meant prologue

8946569
Shit did I spell it wrong?

8946689
Well I fixed it thanks for pointing it out!

I'm sorry. This premise is fundamentally absurd. Let's set aside the fact that Celestia and Luna strongarmed Twilight into it instead of doing it themselves. If the nobility is so convinced that the changelings are still a threat and/or need to be punished, handing them Equestria's walking superweapon and multi-time savior of ponykind is the single most idiotic thing they could possibly do. They'd assume she was replaced the first night (which she already has been once), and even if they can prove she wasn't, Chrysalis has shown the ability to perform mind control. If the nobles were already clamoring to overstep national authority and send an army of gendarmes or whatever, this is the kind of solution that would make them send the same army at Celestia first.

Marriages of state were to solve economic rivalry, solidify existing alliances, and quell future aggressions when things were already relatively cool. With this kind of extreme and immediate existential paranoia, and extreme scale of possible subterfuge, it would just spark the powder keg.

8946864
Hmm.... I can see what you mean.... I may need to go back and make a few changes.

While I do sorta agree with 8946864, ill keep reading for now.

But I must say that the multiple page breaks you have here really ruin the flow of the story. You easily could have made this chapter simply one long scene with some simple editing.

8946985
Try to use the page breaks as little as possible, sorta an untold rule :twilightsmile:

I'll keep a eye on it becuase the premuse is intresting and I've only seen one other political marriage story so I have high hopes

8947036
I never really thought of that or noticed.

Heh. I had this idea months ago and never finished writing it. Glad someone else thought of the same idea and wrote it. Good story

They now are demanding the subjugation of the changelings, weather peacefully or by force.

Whether.

This story have a good start. Wait continue)

8947148
Thanks for pointing it out.

I can imagined Spike being thrilled. Twilight helped raise Spike, Spike considers her family, so he would love to be in-laws with Thorax.

8947325
I don't usually do this, but you are correct he is going to be. Smart thinking there, I hope you stick around to see the rest of the story.

8947403
Don't forget I'm not the only one writing this. You should also give your support to them too.

Yeah, I kinda have to agree with 8946864 here too. This feels more like a story for shipping for shipping's sake, and this whole set up is just a not very well constructed excuse for it. If the logic of why this had to be was more sound, I'd be a bit more willing to give it a try, but right now the scenario's too easy to poke holes in and altogether comes across feeling rather absurd. It doesn't even really explain why it has to be an arranged marriage of any sort so to establish peace, it just basically says there was no other way except unneeded war...and I can't just be told to accept that without giving a better reason why. And then the logic problems just snowball from there.

I think there's something to the idea, which is why I piped up at all. But it's execution for the set-up needs a lot more thinking through if it's going to pull it off.

8947665
Yeah I know. I've already made some changes that makes this whole thing make a lot more sense. I haven't put it in yet because I'm waiting approval from my co-writer. My co-writer has admitted politics are not their strong suit and was the one who really came up with this concept. I take the blame for not properly looking over it. Thankfully we caught this problem early on. It should be better tomorrow. I appreciate the input and will try to avoid this in the future.

I like it so far I never seen a fictional with this type of idea before but there are quite a few spelling mistakes. I'm excited to see were it goes

alone from the description this somehow sounds like celestia want to try a forced marriage with a filly that is not her own.
I would need to read it to see if my first thought is right.

The correct answer to this is... Okay I abdicate my thone....

of course then there is no story so there is that.

I know what I'd do in Twilight's place. I'd call a meeting of all the nobility, and say something like this.
"I called you all here today to announce that, as per your request, I'll be marrying King Thorax of the the Changelings. I also wanted to say that I'm disappointed in all of you. You really think it will take a political marriage to ensure peace with the changelings? They are under new leadership for pony's sake, you could have given us a chance to simply make friends. I am the Princess of Friendship after all. And because I am the Princess of Friendship, if you think I'm ever going to support any initiative or bill that any of you xenophopic morons put forward from now on, you've got another thing coming! Thank you for coming, and your invitations will be in the mail as soon as Thorax and I decide on a date. Now get out of my sight."

8948065
That would be an idea. We'll keep it in mind, but for now we are trying to fix the prologue so it doesn't feel like a copout. For now just sit tight we are working tirelessly on it. Thank you for your patience.

8948182
so the nobles are idiots and Celestia is going along with it because it is better than them being half competent and just attacking straight out?

8948436
After few comments about nobles' role in this fic, we had a political-themed talk with Phoenix and we figured out what we need to change and how to do it. Prologue is already rewritten, but keep in mind that it is only prologue. It will be more expanded in next chapters, so stay tuned. :)

"Dear Canterlot nobles (and I use the term loosely),
I reject your absurd proposal to marry the King of the Changelings just to satisfy your fears.
If this is a problem for you, you are welcome to amass your army and march on the Changeling capital.
However, be advised that should you do so, you will not have royal backing. In fact, you can expect me to be standing at the gates to the Changeling city with a magical friendship laser aimed at your face. So go ahead, push me. Start a war over this. Because it will be, THE SHORTEST WAR, you've ever seen.

And if you don't believe me, kindly turn your attention to Mt. Krumpet, where I fought Tirek to a standstill. You will of course note, that half the mountain is missing.

Signed,
PRINCESS Twilight Sparkle."

"PS: Don't call me, my sister, or my mentor or her sister a Tyrant, ever. Or I will be forced to educate you on what that word actually means. And you will not LIKE knowing what that word actually means by the time I'm done with the lesson."

well celestia many sociopaths would be proud of you you selfish cunt.

Now, joke letter aside, it would make more sense if the political marriage was Twilight's idea from the start. She seems like the type who would treat a political marriage like a business contract and go in about as Clinical as possible. And then a few days in, it would hit her like wedding rings on a finger after a night of drunken partying in Las Vegas.


"Oh, it's no big deal. It's just good politics after all. All we have to do is live together and help the kingdoms merge smoothly. Maybe call each other silly cute nicknames and sleep in the same be-"

8948638
i was thinking hte same thing when i started reading this.

8948701

Well, it could also be worse.

At least Thorax is an amiable and gentle personality.

She could get hitched Pharynx. He's an okay guy, but has a personality like a power-sander.

8948747
8948701
I'm going to be honest with you two I know the plot is a bit mediocre, but at this point there is not a whole lot me or my co-writer can do at the moment. We are already most of the way done with the first chapter and are just trying to roll with it at this point. The plot should become more clear later on as we give more information so the best I can suggest is to sit tight. We are trying to avoid a massive exposition dump and just tell it out right. Again things should make a little more sense in the future.

8948761
That's not entirely true.

See, you could still scrap this and start over from scratch.

But that's neither here nor there. You don't need to defend the story from me. I'm going to find something to poke fun at one way or another. Because that's half the fun in commenting. Poking at something in the story for fun. And like I said: "It could be worse."

Twilight could be getting hitched to that walking ball of charm Pharynx, and his belt-sander personality.

Honestly, that would make for quite the comedy. In the "Slap-slap-kiss" sense.

After the leaders of Equestria were kidnaped the canterlot Nobility were enraged. They now are demanding the subjugation of the changelings, weather (whether) peacefully or by force. In a desperate attempt to keep the peace Celestia must make a difficult decision. A decision that will change the life of her former student forever.

You can get a proofreader here
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/27/]The Proofreader Group

Currently really liking your story. Keep up the good work. ;)

8948862

I guess you make a good point.

8948873
Already got one. I guess they missed it. Also someone else pointed that out, again it looks like I missed it after the rewrite.

When's the next one coming out?

8948747
And a voice to match! :rainbowlaugh:

8949272
Next saturday hopefully.

Adding to my Read Later pile for now.

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