This Hearts and Hooves Day, Twilight is alone.... Not that big of a shocker for her, but it's one that leaves her hurting inside, realizing that without her friends- she really hasn't properly grown anymore as a mare than that of a high-school filly. Well that changes, as an old friend of hers decides to stop by. The Town of Ponyville knows him as the nutty Clocksmith Inventor 'Time Turner', but Twilight knows better. She knows him far better- as 'The Doctor'.
This... Is a Romance of my own making, that I made in my spare time on Valentine's Day, to celebrate how I would like to see my OTP (Twilight Sparkle X Doctor Whooves) be written, if only a bit improperly by yours truly.
All views are my own, all Headcannons are my own- the story has no editor, and I wrote this for fun.....
So uh.... Leave Likes, Comment (creative ones? Or- you know- just any in general?) And uh, thanks for reading!
Art Credit: To BlackWhites (I feel sooo sorry if this story get's featured, and you get angry. >_< Please- Don't be. It's just s good picture.)
Dawwww
and Ratchet and Clank references you can't hide from me
Oh yes !!!
I've only read half, but seeing as you've only got one comment so far... have a second!!
There aren't enough good Doctor Whooves fics, and you seem to have a good dynamic going on with "Miss Twilight" and your Doctor reminds me of Tennant.
Love it.
6942554
Damn! XD
You can thank Tatsuro and his 'The Sparkle in his Eye' for that (I'd suggest looking it up if you like Twilight.)
6943173
I know about that story read till Tools of destruction but stopped since I don't have time to do anything
6942686
Thank you! And I know- I KNOW! That's what made me feel like writing my own story for it. There just isn't enough good writing for this ship, so I thought I'd write one for myself, and see how many people agree with me. (Apparently not many since it has gotten 3 Dislikes already, and no comments on WHY possibly.)
6943183
Aww- well yes. I can see why- we all get pretty busy.
Still- he only has 1/7th to 2/7ths the size of my story per Chapter. (Personally- I skipped the 'Size' section- since i never had a PSP and never actually played that game.)
6943201
I did play Size the game was sad not emotionally just bland and stale
6943232
Okay- good. So I didn't miss out on anything. XD
6943245
Nah didn't add anything to the over all plot.
So you're a Docter Who fan??
6943250
Darn- was the name too Obvious? :P
Yes- I am. I was a Doctor Who Fan before I was a Brony- and I found the Brony Community gave me a VERY good excuse to write for Doctor Who when I saw there was a Sub-Fandom Dedicated to him. Ever since- I have been writing the sorts of stories in RP's, just out of boredom, and in my own time. x3
6943427
I wanted to watch Docter Who for a long time but I just don't know where to start tbh.
Can you help me ??
Aww adorable. I relate to Twilight
6943944
Oh- well thank you. And I hope she does, I really kinda fleshed her out better in the beginning than I did in the end.
6946028
Ok the reboot it would help if you give me the special's name
6943681
Alright- it's going to be a little confusing then- but I'll help you through!
So- to make a long story short, there are 2 Shows of Doctor Who. The Original Show started in 1963 (Currently, it holds the world record for longest running Sci-Fi series,) but ended in 1996. The Show got Rebooted in 2005 Though, but don't worry. They explain EVERYTHING.... well- kinda. XD If I were you, and you wanted to get the FULL Doctor who Experience, I would really start at the 2005 Reboot.
For a good point of Reference though if you want to try and save some time- start on Season (or 'Series' as it's called in the UK) 2. The Doctor you want to start on is David Tennant, and you will want to Start on the Christmas special, when he makes his debut. (fun fact: I started when the Show was brought over to America on the Sci-Fi Channel- but never saw it again when they lost the rights to air it.)
6946032
Ugh- gimme a second here....
"The Christmas Invasion"
Believe me- it's a lot more clever than it sounds.
6946055
Meh heard much weirder names
6945999 Hmm-hmm
This comment will be a bit on the harsh side. If you want to support the author and what he's done here, feel free to downvote it. By the same token if negativity towards a fic bothers you... just don't read this. Also, there are minor spoilers... so that too.
Well... I won't go so far as to downvote this... but I do understand the downvotes, or think I do. Setting aside that you used 'OTP' twice before even beginning the story (inviting anyone who hated this ship to simply downvote this pairing that involves two characters who've basically never interacted in canon... and that's one 'n' by the way... the other cannon is for shooting things), I'll instead point out this set of paragraphs to start:
That first bit puts Twilight so far into wangst and melodrama that you'd swear she was Rarity on a drinking binge (or ice cream if you prefer show canon). And then there's the hyperbolic praise following it up. No wonder he never uses a name; if my name was 'Gary Stu' I wouldn't want to use it, either. Right as I'm shaking off this mess you hit me with a fourth wall break trying to justify what had already smashed any suspension of disbelief I may have had. Yeah, I don't like Flash either, but what the hay was that? And I dunno what
is supposed to mean, but it didn't really help your already dismal portrayal of the poor mare. This read more like pity than love.
As Twilight claims to have... I've given up on love. Which is why I believe giving up on it does not include sobbing on holidays and having a crush so based in hero worship that it decimates a character's... well... character. If she came at this in a more Twilight sense of it... rationally... it may have come across better. But you sold her out in order to put the Doctor over, which isn't even necessary because he's a good guy and yeah, a hero. We don't need Twilight fawning over him and sobbing her loneliness into her pillow to know that. There could be genuine, highly entertaining discourse between these two that would make a great love story founded on things they both stand for: friendship, mutual admiration, saving the world, you know, the stuff you found a romance on. Instead... the doc was basically playing shrink while Twilight talks about her love failures. And then they kiss...
So yeah.... that might explain the downvotes... I apologize for a harsh assessment. This story has some good elements. I liked Spike... let's lead with that. You obviously have a lot of love for the Doctor and an eagerness to portray him well. I think, with a better Twilight to play off of, you could have done that better. He still comes across as the nice, if somewhat spacy, guy that he is. But you know him well: rather than tell us, through Twilight's overwrought praise, how great he is, show it to us through their interactions. You have the tools in your writing kit to do that, but you have to bring Twilight up a smidge.
On the other hand, you do have twice as many upvotes, so clearly many like this story. That isn't surprising; it has its sweet moments even for me, and I obviously didn't care too much for it. But frankly all I'd really need to upvote the concept would be a more balanced relationship. You've got the rest set up.
6950417
Firstly- PLEASE. CRITIQUE ME. HARSHLY. I'm open to all comments that seek to better help Author's and I thank you VERY much for being so kind as to spend your time helping me like this. (I also wrote this story in the Span of 5 Hours on Valentine's Day, when I myself was feeling a little alone, and didn't bother to edit it because I had had enough of it. So when I do, I will be looking to the Comments provided as to what to look at more thoroughly and fix.)
After going through your comment.... Yeah.... XD A lot of it was just laughably bad. But- it's just how I felt I needed to get through the story myself- or at least how I needed to write it down. I won't defend myself- I deserve a lot of Criticism for it. It's about as bad as a shipfic written by Discord himself. (great Story btw, you should really check it out if you haven't already.)
I'll be looking to your comment A LOT when I do re-edit, and rehash this whole thing. And I hope that when I do, you'll be a little happier with what I'll have next time. x3
Thank you, VERY much for giving me a Proper Evaluation.... It's a lot harder than one might think.
6951890
That's a healthy attitude to have... hah it makes me feel worse about my choice of words in a couple places. Proper evals are a particular talent, I spose. Take a knack for putting your foot in your mouth, add an English degree with a literary theory focus, and lastly too much free time. The last one's a lie; there's never enough time. Anywho I'ma mark this to track what happens with it. If you get around to a rewrite, or a continuation, I'll be sure to have a look.
Sorry you had a rough Valentine's day. They can suck. I had a few good ones back when I had someone, but I mostly just slept through this one and bought discounted chocolate the next day. It's not like it sounds though... I work nights and I like chocolate; I'll leave depression binging to poor Rares. That said, if writing this was cathartic then it was well worth it, and again as you see many enjoyed it. If you get around to a rewrite, you'll have a chance to give them more to like.