• Member Since 31st Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen Last Tuesday

Phoenix Nebula


Chaos is not the opposite of Harmony but apart of it. Both chaos and order together create a balance known as Harmony. Without one you cannot have have the other and without either there is nothing.

T

This story is a sequel to The Moon and her Star


Twilight and her mother, Luna, return from the moon a year early and though Celestia is suspicious at first she eventually welcomes her sister back and her new niece with open hooves. However, not everyone is so welcoming. Twilight and Luna's relationship is tested time and time again as disaster after disaster stricks Equestria. Will their bond be able to survive, or will it shatter like glass?


Art by littlewashu45


Edit: Made #1 featured on 7/24/18

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 320 )

Whyyyy, whyyyy must you release this so that I can't read it immediately!?

Buck it, I'm still gonna read it

Great prologue on to the next

First amazing chapter and just take your time you don't want to rush it

I'm glad your not focusing on their time on the moon. Short flashbacks are fine but I rather have the plot keep moving. I look forward to seeing what both Luna and Twilight can do now that there back.

Very nice. but don't rush yourself, this kind of thing is all about the character development. The audience has to feel the depth of the connection between the two. A little bit of exposition goes a long way.

all that being said, I, along with many others, await your continuation.

“What about Cadance?”
“She was born an Alicorn.”

I thought she was born a pegasus

How pleasant. I’m sure nothing bad will happen to any of them from this point onwards.

9061831
No, totally not, there diffidently isn't going to be some sort of evil cult involved or anything like that!

9061835
It occurs I don’t believe I have ever heard of a good cult. Morally ambivalent at best.

9061851
I noticed not even an hour after posting and it made number 5.

I can't believe the sequel was finally ready & I didn't find it soon! Excellent job on the prologue!

Edited: Nevermind you uploaded this today, I saw the wrong date. :twilightsheepish:

9061899
This is why most of my stories these days are AU because it gives me a bit of free reign with what I can do.

I am so happy right now that the sequel is finally here! The prologue was good, but this was a great chapter to officially kick off the sequel! I can't wait for more! :pinkiehappy:

krhm
I read it over the day, and I must say that I'm really looking forward for more

i think twilight says it best, no matter the reality. 'yesyesyesyesyes'

Hey man, take your time. Don't feel bad if chapters take a bit to come out. Hell, I think the most consistent update to any of the stories I follow are once a month. So long as you actually enjoy yourself and keep the story going till the end, things'll be fine.

That said, if you ever feel like you need a chuckle, here's a video representation of trying to get stubborn authors to work on an update.

Looking forward to more!

Phoenix Nebula <3 Thank you so much for asking me to do you book cover, it was fun and it was a great opportunity. :3

9062241
You are very welcome just let me know when you need help again :3 and your story so far is really good.

Excellent. Adorable. Addictive.
I need more but not rushed. Write it at your own pace and don’t worry if things take long. I prefer quality over quantity, and that goes for most here. While we may demand more and cry for new chapters, it doesn’t mean we’d want you to rush one out just to appease us. We are just showing support and how much we love the story. Take your time and make sure you write things how you want.

Yes yes yes, I love this story Keep up the great work

It seems that the reunion was a bit too instantly good. I don't know, it might just be me. Also, holy crap OP Twilight. Still nice chapter.

The one biggest area that I would suggest improvement is slowing down, remember show dont tell. Twilight is magic, this is a massive revelation but its stated so clearly and so matter of factly between a bunch of other info that it seems miniscule. Events and info dumps are slapped together at such a rapid pace that it seems like you are writing from a checklist.

1. Magic
2. Shes a princess
3. etc.

It doesnt make these dumps interesting, or even impactfull. As there is just so much rapid fire without build up or let down. Remember, everything impactfull needs to be built up a little, and let down. This gives the revelation weight.

9062952
That's something I always struggled with because I don't fully plan everything out from the start I make the story as I write, the most planning I do is action scenes that pop into my head. I was unsure of how I was going to build up because all I had planned was the beginning of the story and the end of the story. I can't reliably plan out a story without fear of all the ideas becoming a jumbled mess and I lose interest. I can see what you mean and I guess I can think of some changes I could make, but as it currently is I'm unsure what to change at this very moment. Thanks for the help I'll keep it in mind.

9062948
All the Twilight's I write about tend to be OP, which is a bit of a challenge, especially in this story because I'm just now realizing how much trouble I'm going to have making her grow as the story progresses. I'm also just now realizing how rushed this is and I'm trying to decide how I'm going to fix all of this.

9062997
Freaking out on how to fix it is going to cause really weird overcompensation. It is how you get things like the midichlorians from Star Wars.

9063014
Then I won't freak out or overcompensate. I already have a few things I can think of and I may be doing a minor rewrite for this too due to what Jest pointed out about showing and not telling. The reception of this story has been great but if I don't fix these issues now it could make things a lot harder for me in future chapters.

Absolutely love this story so far. It’s only the prologue you say? Well I say it’s the best damned prologue there is then! I shall delight in reading whatever comes next.

What a good story. Truly a stupendous entry in a wonderful story. The dialogue is great, the characters are interesting. It has a ton of original ideas. I want to gush over this story but I have one thing to say: don’t give up. Seriously, this is the best material I’ve ever read so you have some intense talent. You’re the best around and nothing’s ever going to keep you down! Just do it! *motivational stuff here*

composer

Composure, unless you're talking about a pony that is the in universe equivalent of Beethoven. :rainbowlaugh:

Anyway, the cuteness is over 9000 already. :eeyup:

Also don't worry too much about the third chapter coming more slowly. These thing really need to take time sometimes. going too fast will just ruin it.

There she gazed upon the blue and green orb that was Equis.

Too bad you don't have double vision. You could go to Dos Equis and meet the most interesting mare in the world!

9062997

Treat this like your rough draft. Correct the mistakes, flesh out the bits that feel hurried, and have a plan for where you're going next. You say you can't plan without making a jumbled mess, but that's what rough outlines are for: making the bare-bones skeleton that you will later clothe in fleshy words! ^__^

The story before this was ador(k)able. You can do it again.

9063524
Rough draft would usually implies I haven't edited it yet. I've already had a grammar editor go over it and I've spell checked using Grammarly. The one issue with going back and fixing things, knowing me, will mean this story will never get done. I am still going to go back and tweak some things because it's going to be an absolute necessity for what little I have planned.

good start now just got to release moar
I be following,

this is getting good,
I wonder how the nobles going to react.....
oh my twilight has master the royal cantalot voice, I had hope that celestia would have look at her sister say "you taught her the voice"

9061850
oh what about, Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, Islam, and all those other one that are good and accept by the mass for the most part

9064335
I was using cult in terms of small religious group. Perhaps they just never make the news but I rarely hear of a religious sect of only a few hundred that doesn’t either involve extremely distasteful practices or total corruption on the part of the founder.

9064538
ahh u mean more of the modern term of cult, use by most of today.

9064626
Yes. 2nd definition not 1st. I have my own problems with religion in general but that is more of a personal problem in regards to how my brain works than anything.

Phoenix Nebula ... i am loving this story so far ... cant wait for the next chapter to come out

I love this story. You must continue.

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