• Member Since 12th Feb, 2018
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

GStarshine


T

When Twilight is stolen from her home, fate intervenes and brings her straight to her destiny. After growing up sheltered and loved by the spirits of the Tree of Harmony, Twilight will grow into her place in Equestria like never before while she searches for the family that raised her and gets to know the one she's lost.

(Unapologetically OP Twilight, if you’re going to nitpick that point then you are welcome to leave at any time.)

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 419 )

This has my attention for now let’s see if you can keep it.

awww thats adorkable!
AND AWWWYYEEAAHHHHH TIMBERWOLVES ARE BEST FRIENDS!!!
I always loved the idea that they are good

Unapologetically OP Twilight, if you’re going to nitpick that point then you are welcome to leave at any time.

Oh I'm not leaving! I want to see this! One thing that I hope you keep in mind is that with twilight being OP anny challenge she faces need to be scaled up to make the story compelling, but I'm sure you already know this.

YOU HAVE MY ATTENTION I SHALL BE WATCHING

Sounds interesting.
I will note that 'Shield' is the proper spelling, not 'Sheild'
Cheers!

The growing distress of the foal drew these ponyies focus to it almost immediately.

Should be "ponies." And I'm tentatively excited for this. Alt origin stories for Twilight has always been a guilty pleasure of mine. Not enough exposition to critique it but you're off to a good start so far.

Unapologetically OP Twilight

I look forward to this. OP Twilight is best Twilight.

"Brynhildr is a good strong name!" Rockhoof enthused.

I agree. They really should have gone with Brynhildr! :rainbowlaugh:

Looking forward to more!

So, wait, can twi control the timberwolves? Or do they work for the pillars?

A few typos, but a very good start overall. You definitely have my attention! Liked and tracking.

Hmm it looks promising I'll just stow this in my back pocket for safe keeping and hope this turns out good.

8935057
The timberwolves can sense the aura of Harmonic Magic around the tree and have protected it in the past (my own story cannon, not show cannon). When they felt that Twily had an aura close to or the same as the tree, the wolves brought her to it for safe keeping.

8934717
Thanks! I fixed it!

Yeah, I love when people play a little with Twilight's Origins. It's fun to see how they change the story. Hope this doesn't disappoint!

8934626
Glad I could intrigue you!

Thanks for the assist on the spelling!

Doesn't really awnser my question, but ok.

8934577
Great! Glad you'll stay with me! I do love OP!Twilight, just something about it makes me grin.

As for the challenges, I have several potentials in mind (least of all a kraken because I outright cackled at the thought, lol) and I hope to balance it with well thought out weaknesses that have to be overcome or compensated for.

Hope I don't disappoint!

8935158
Sorry, I wasn't very clear huh? I was going for something along the lines of...the Pillars and Twilight don't outright control the timberwolves, the wolves just have a natural instinct to protect something that close to pure harmony. We will find out as we jump ahead that Twilight has trained the wolves but more like training a dog rather than a mind control sort of thing.

Better? I know sometimes I can have trouble getting my words to fully match my thoughts.

8935166
Sounds good, can't wait to see how it pans out!

Ohoho, I'm already excited for this one!

56

threw it's head back

its

I really enjoyed the first chapter of this story. You've kept it close enough to the cannon to keep fans happy and loose enough to give us something new. I'm very curious to see where this goes and I can't wait for the next chapter!

First pony fanfiction! Yay! Gotta tell you, took me longer than I anticipated to change 'hand' to 'hoof' in my head.

*Says hoof instead of hand in a normal conversation not involving equines* Oh, God. I just did that, didn't I?

I am intrigued. Continue.
*Strokes beard I don’t have*

For your first story, I will say this is very well written and looks to be very VERY interesting. Please, continue with this entrancing tale :twilightsmile:

so this is like a Sela Allan deal?

(Yes totally got the obscure comic reference)

Hmmm... You have my attention, let us see how long you can hang on to it, plus an OP Twilight raised by the Legends?! Yes please, I'll take one.

I'm already in love with this story.

Op Twilight's are always the best!

This is an interesting idea. Let's see how it turn out.

Ooh im lovin it! Que mc donalds theme

Well, this is certainly an interesting start - It is always interesting to see Twilight's potential connection to the tree explored differently (as in, the show not doing it at all). I always figured her cutie mark matching the star insignia in the Tree's center was there for a reason - like the Tree had been waiting for her, one way or another. Looks like they are getting reunited early this time around! Your writing looks to be of quite high quality as well, which makes me all the more excited - bring forth the story! :pinkiecrazy: (And considering how dysfunctional the Pillars seemed, Equestria's future just got a whole lot more crazy if she ends up raised by them :facehoof:)

If there is one thing that didn't quite sit well with me in the chapter, it was Twilight's name change in the end. Aside from my feeling like the new one doesn't really fit Twilight's theme (which may or may not be my personal issue, so ehh ...), there is the fact that ... with her name being stripped away from her, and (going to make an assumption here) a vastly different personality on top that's likely to develop from an insurmountably different upbringing, with completely different vices, virtues, quirks and personality traits ...

Is this really going to be a story about Twilight? Because if the individual in the end has nothing in common with what we know as Twilight Sparkle, inside or out, then what you have is essentially an OC. Name alone is fine, personality alone is fine ... but coupled together it doesn't feel like one can any longer claim that the character is in any way shape or form Twilight Sparkle. Which is obviously fine, but it feels like (assuming her personality does end up notably different from in-show Twilight) a bit of a false advertising, because this chapter left the impression that what we will have is a story about an OC, not about a character that has any ties to Twilight Sparkle.

I like where this is going and how you've set this up.
I look forward to seeing where you take this.

It was definitely going to haunt her while she was in prison.

Mare, you kidnapped a child and got it killed (so it seems to the rest of the world). For that you deserve death.

8936500

Hello! I’m glad this caught your attention! I love stories that explore the tree connection. I really thought it a missed opportunity when the tree and Twi’s cutie mark matched but it never really turned into anything significant, especially once the Pillars were revealed.

I understand your apprehension about the name change and the possible personality issues. When I was playing with this idea I too wondered if it would be better as somepony completely OC with no prior connection to the show. But, since I went into this wanting to make her blatantly OP, I decided it would actually be helpful for me.

When writing really OP characters it can, at times, be difficult to come up with truly powerful foes to go against them, especially if you state their OP-ness early on and don’t build up to it. Thus, for me at least, the next logical places to create conflict is family and identity problems. Growing up as Tally Reed and suddenly being expected to be Twilight Sparkle by her birth family (though they will mean well) will be jarring and a bit overwhelming for her. She will be conflicted and feel like she’s being made to choose, this of course will lead to (depending on how it ends up developing) an explosive The Greatest Showman moment (🎶I'm not scared to be seen. I make no apologies, this is me🎶) or a very firm Kung Fu Panda 3 moment (Am I a teacher? A student?....I am all of them). Either way, I hope to enrich the story with this glaring identity issue.

If you have any other worries or would like to talk further, you can always message me! I have no problem answering questions about my thought process and sometimes talking to my readers in depth helps me smoothe out wrinkles in my ideas.

Tally Reed? Love the name.

Love me some Demigoddess Of Friendship Twilight Sparkle. I’m in.

This looks promising! I can't wait to read more <3

Well... I’m hooked
Next chapter please. Lol

This is easily one of the best openers I've read in a while, just the prolog and already I'm invested in this!
One thing I want to see is filly Tally riding on the back of a Timberwolf, that would be beyond adorable.
Keep up the awesome work.

Hmm....

There is a good way to write OP characters. Let's find out if you know how...

I really enjoyed the first chapter, and I expect I will enjoy the rest of them as they come.

I have looked for a story like this for so long............

I'm hooked.

Go directly to favorites. Do not pass Hiatus. Please update soon. :-)

Th... this is your first? HOT HOLY HELL HONEY! HOW THE FLYING FUCKY DOO DID YOU WRITE SOMETHING THIS GOOD! im just reading it and i can already tell its gonna rival My Little Dashie.

Hoo boy. This is gonna be fun to explain :)

Please tell me you're planning on some interlude chapters with the Pillars raising a foal though, I'd pay money for that if I could. Either way, I'm loving this!

8940112
Oh yeah, I have a whole bunch of snippets I hope to put in intermittently as we go. Though if I have longer ones I may make them separate stories.

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